Checkmate
by Iffy Jr
Summary: Tony/Loki high school AU. "Tony's life is complete. He's got his friends and his enemies, and he doesn't need anybody else. Thor's little brother sticks himself in anyway, though, and it's just way to much work to push him away. What's the worst that could happen? Nobody's ever beaten him at a game of chess anyway." COMPLETE.
1. Emerald on High

Author's Notes: (they're long, sorry!): Another Avengers fic, here I come! Altogether it's **300** pages, and just shy of **156,000** words altogether. And good lord, this fic did _not_ go the direction I thought it would… My plan was the typical high school AU plotline but it ends up with hospitals and mass-murderers and kidnappers and aliens and pop-singers and Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World battles… Okay not really, but it does have hospitals and a serial killer whoops.

It's a high school AU from Tony's perspective, spanning across the months of October, November, December, and then a day in September for the epilogue. Tony's the smartass chess/technology nerd who's friends with Steve, Pepper, and Bruce. Then we've got the "bullies", who are Thor, Clint, and Natasha. Loki comes in during one of the fights that Tony and Steve are always having with the three bullies, and he's probably the 2nd-most AU out of all of them (the first being Phil, which will make sense later). He stills looks like his normal self and everything, but I've written him as a combination of what I picture him _before_ he and Thor started hating each other and then also during/after it all. It sounds confusing but it's not I swear.

So yeah those eight are all seniors, except the ones who stay the same age as in the movie are Fury (principle), Hill (vice principle), and Phil (Tony's favorite teacher). We meet a looot of other Marvel characters as well, and most of them are seniors but for a select few.

And some additional notes are:  
**1)** I basically made up a whole new family background for almost every character except Tony's. I mean I tried to make them somewhat similar, but honestly it just didn't work out in this particular AU. I know all of their background stories, it's just that Tony's is pretty much the only one that stays as such.  
**2)** Steve is still super tiny at first, but there are subtle changes throughout the year of him growing.  
**3)** Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy are in this story as Loki's best friends since I just watched The Amazing Spiderman :P They're in it enough that I could probably label the entire story as a crossover, to be honest, buuut I'm not going to!  
**4)** I know Tony and the others were in high school back in 19-whatever, but I'm just pretending that it's all 2012/2013 recent because I want to give them cell phones and Tony needs his Audi R8 and blah yadda blah.  
**5)** The movies that are in theaters are going to be way off what it really is, since I'm writing this over the span of a few months. I've got things like Brave playing at the same time as Rock of Ages, which is totally not how it works, but I'm doing it anyway!  
**6)** Thor and his families last name is just going to be "Asgard", because a man named Odin Odinson is just awkward. I know "Thor Asgard" sounds like shit but oh well. Except Loki's last name was still Laufeyson because of reasons.  
**7)** This fic includes a lot of chess, hence the title. And I haven't played a real game since like third grade, so forgive me if any of the rules have changed or I totally botch the worth of points or anything else along those lines. I don't really feel like looking it up haha  
**8)** It's never mentioned, but the school they go to is going to be called SHIELD. I don't have what it stands for, but that's what it is.  
**9)** Random names and things I actually slip in are other Marvel characters. So if you run into a name and you're like "hmm that sounds familiar could it be? Nah"… Yes. Yes it is. Honestly every single name I will use is another character. I won't be making anybody up XD Well, nobody with names, anyway. Sometimes I'll say somebody in passing, but yeah. There will be no DC characters, though, because I'm pretending that whole world is still a comic thing, mostly for the Halloween benefit :P So basically this is kind of like one big Marvel crossover! But I'm just labeling it as Avengers because that's the main one, though I suppose Spiderman would be next, like I said.

Anyway, on with the fic! Enjoy :)

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**Disclaimer**: None of the characters in this story are mine. They strictly belong to Marvel and whoever else has helped create them. Also any movies, bands, or other fandoms mentioned, obviously.

**Summary**: Tony/Loki high school AU. "Tony's life is complete. He's got his friends and his enemies, and he doesn't need anybody else. Thor's little brother sticks himself in anyway, though, and it's just way to much work to push him away. What's the worst that could happen? Nobody's ever beaten him at a game of chess anyway." COMPLETE.

**Pairings**: (Romantic) Tony/Loki, Thor/Natasha, Bruce/Clint, Steve/Peggy, Pepper/Happy, Peter/Gwen, Phil/Sigyn, Bucky/Sharon, Fandral/Darcy, Skurge/Amora, Odin/Frigga; Erik/Charles, Rebecca/Remy; (Pre-story) Loki/Victor, Clint/Victor (Platonic) Tony/Phil, Clint/Maria  
[Any names you don't know now you will later, so don't fret!]

**Status**: Complete  
**Rating**: Mature  
**Warnings**: m/m and m/f pairings, smut; strong language; violence (though not graphically detailed); drinking before legal; blah blah blah the usual high school stuff

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**1: Emerald on High**

_October 1  
Monday…_

"Steve, honestly, no wonder people beat you up all the time," Tony says, turning Steve to face him. "You have _got_ to stop tucking your horrible looking plaid shirts into your jeans." He untucks it.

Steve rolls his eyes. "I don't get beat up _that_ much," he mutters, pushing Tony's hand off of him to smooth out his blue and white button up top over the jeans he has held up too high with the belt buckle the size of his fuckin' palm (but Tony can appreciate it enough since Steve made it himself in welding shop, and Steve _is_ his best friend, after all).

"Yes you do," Pepper says pointedly, reaching up to smooth a lock of hair down on Steve's head. "Promptly every three days behind the public restrooms at the park because you refuse not to go jogging every three days by there after school unless it's snowing or hailing."

"Well I'd love to take somebody with me," Steve mutters, pushing her hand away as well, "but you're the only friends I have and you never want to come."

"Only because we're too busy," Bruce says, playing with the watch on his wrist. "Tone and I have chess club."

"Yeah, and that one Thursday a week just _happens_ to land on all of the days I go jogging."

"Oh, Ban, shut up," Tony says, scuffing up Bruce's hair. "You know very well we purposely avoid it and he knows it too."

"Well I don't," Pepper says, taking out her ponytail to put it back in again. "I go jogging in the morning during my first period fitness running class, and I am not about to do it again."

"You don't count," Steve and Tony say simultaneously.

They're waiting for a snide comment back from Pepper, but when she's silent they look back over at her. Her eyes are narrowed and she's looking behind all of them, as are Bruce's at her side.

Tony and Steve turn around in their cafeteria bench seat to see their group of four's least favorite people striding into the large mess hall of people.

Looking far cooler than legal and probably far cooler than they really are, in walk three of the most popular people in their senior year (not because they are, but because they enforce it): Thor Asgard, Clint Barton, and Natalia Romanova (except that's her Russian name, so everybody just calls her Natasha Romanov). And they are, of course, the three that are always beating up on Steve. Thing is, though, they beat up on Tony just as much. It's even better because Clint's gay as the rainbow banner he has in his locker and Natasha and Thor are dating so Tony gets to make a lot of crude jokes about them having a three way or something.

Tony's entire body clenches up while Steve's droops beside him. Tony wants to do something about it, but he knows he can't do enough. If it weren't for the fact that he honestly doesn't give a shit, his grades would be the top in his year and he knows it. Thing is, he doesn't usually do his homework. Or if he does he forgets to turn it in. He's in all the highest classes, though, not to mention chess club after school on Thursday's, and he _would_ be in cake decorating on Wednesday's if he had lost a bet he had with Pepper back in sophomore year a few weeks before they broke up.

As Tony glares intently at the group, he catches eyes with Natasha. Tony hates to admit it, but she's far too attractive for her own good. Dark red hair long and flowing past her shoulders and eyes that pierce you like an assassin shooting its prey, and today she's in a tight black outfit that Tony of course trailed over before they accidentally caught eyes.

She elbows Clint, who looks over and catches eyes with Tony as well.

That's when he elbows Thor, who towers over fucking every single person like a god, long blonde hair and stubble over his chin as he struts around in his expensive designer shit. T's rich too, but he doesn't wear no Gucci.

Of course Thor catches his eye as well, grinning at Clint and Natasha before the three of them make their ways over to Tony's table of four.

"If it is not my good friend Tony Stark," Thor says, sitting down beside the man like they're _actually_ friends. That's before he leans across the table and flicks Bruce's glasses off his face though, sending them skittering across the table where Natasha snatches them up before Pepper has a chance to. "How are you feeling after yesterday?"

Tony's eyes narrow at the memory. It was fourth period fitness training and Thor had knocked Tony's off his feet, so Tony of course retaliated by jumping up on a bench and elbowing Thor in the face. Of course, after that, he was punched in the stomach before slamming against the back wall completely unconscious, but where's the fun in winning…?

"That is right," Thor says, giving Tony an evil grin. Tony can see it just fine. He only has a problem with seeing things that are far away, which is perfect for him since all he ever does is work with things close to his face. He usually just wears contacts. "I will do it again today if you cross me," he says darkly.

"I'll be sure to do it somewhere where there _aren't_ any dumbbells then," Tony snaps, turning away from Thor to go back to his food. "Get the fuck out of my face, jackass."

He shouldn't have done it. He damn well knows he shouldn't have. But he did, and now he's being thrown off the bench and roughly to the ground, sat on by Miss Romanov herself before getting a nice fistful of knuckles in the nose.

"Damn," he says, reaching a hand up to his nose. "I should have known Thor'd have his bitch doin' all the dirty work while he just eats my food."

This time Clint punches him after Natasha jumps off and pulls him up, sending him flat on his back again where he's promptly all but leapt upon by Thor. Then Steve jumps in but instantly gets pulled off of Thor's back by Clint and Natasha, and Bruce is stiff as a board because he's terrified and Pepper runs off to get the principle and vice principle as the cafeteria inhabitance surround the fight (AKA Tony getting punched in the face as he does his best to block them with his arms).

That's how it always happens. Once a week, without fail. Sometimes twice a week. Hell, the second week of school it was three. Hasn't happened that many times in a week since then, it only being the first week of the second month of school…but there was always last year. It was usually three days a week then.

But something's different this time…somebody new comes in.

"Thor! Thor, stop it, you're hurting him!"

Thor stops at the voice, and Tony pulls in a giant lungful of air at the break. That's when a new face comes into his vision, too. He's skinny (but not near as skinny as Mr. Steve the Stick), with jet black hair that hangs straight and somewhat messy down to his shoulders. Tony can only tell what he looks like because he's bent over, pushing aside Tony's blood and sweat plastered hair stuck to his face. His hands are soft, and the only reason he's noticing that is because they're even softer than Pepper's, and her hands are _damn_ soft. He has emerald green eyes that shine so bright it's sickening.

"Stay out of this, brother," Thor growls, gripping onto the front of…of his _brother's_ shirt and pulling them eye level. "Stark and I have something to _settle_."

"You settle things every _day_, you beast," the guy grumbles, ripping Thor's hand off of him. "Get off of him before I call mom."

Thor emits a feral growl as he swings off of Tony, standing up to be instantly flanked by Clint and Natasha. "Mother would not care."

"No, but when she tells father you'll—"

"Silence! That is to be _silenced_!"

Without another word between each other (though the three don't move), the man swings around so that his body is pointing in the same direction as Tony's and bends over him again from the side, looking carefully over him. "How many times has my brother broken your nose before?" he asks quietly, pulling Tony slowly into a sitting position.

"Just twice," Tony wheezes, clinging onto the arm of whoever this guy is like a lifeline. Nobody's ever been there to help him up before but Pepper and Bruce. This is…this is weird. "It's not broken now, just bruised. I know the difference."

"Neither one will happen again," he says, glaring up at his brother. That's when he sees Pepper and Bruce helping Steve up, who's miraculously un-bloodied. Tony knows Natasha and Clint's secret though. They know all the places to hit that won't bleed or bruise until the fight is over and nobody can prove it was them. Convenient, really. "Good lord, Thor! Two of them? How could you?!"

Thor bares his teeth (Tony's never really understood the whole ode to beast thing, but maybe it's just because his family came to America from who knows where and he's the _size_ of a beast) and begins to protest, but that's when all the fun stops.

"What the _hell_ have we told you all about fighting at my school?" Principle Fury bellows, parting the crowd like Moses with his staff and the Red Sea.

"And what did we tell you would happen the next time it happened?" Vice Principle Hill says afterwards.

All of Pepper, Bruce, Thor, Clint, and Natasha let out defeated sighs. Tony and Steve, though, are too busy trying not to whimper at all of the blood on Tony's face and the bruises that aren't there yet on Steve's.

"Excuse me, Principle Fury," Thor's brother says, standing up in such a way that he's still right beside Tony so that he can lean against his leg.

Fury narrows his eyes. "Yes?"

"They didn't do anything. It was just my brother and his friends. I saw what happened. I saw all of it. Thor, Clint, and Natasha started the whole thing."

Fury frowns even deeper. "You would rat out your own brother?"

"I'm sure you don't find it very hard to believe, Mr. Fury, but I don't exactly _like_ my brother."

Fury actually smiles a bit before turning to Miss Hill. "I'm going back to my office. Deal with these motherfuckers for me."

Hill nods, taking a step forward. "You three," she snaps at Thor and his friends, "are hereby suspended for the rest of the week. If it happens again it will be a month, and then you will be _expelled_. You two, though…" She looks down at Tony and Steve, giving them a somewhat sympathetic look. "Are off free, thanks to your newfound ally over here. _For now_." Then she looks up at the rest of the cafeteria. "And the rest of you motherfuckers can get the hell back to your food!"

Tony actually laughs, giving Thor's brother a fright so he quick squats back down. "Do you usually laugh at getting beaten to a pulp by a man three times larger than you?"

"No, no," he says, pushing the guy off of him. "I just—fuck, ow."

"Yeah, hospital time." The guy stands, calling after Miss Hill: "His nose is bruised, and his friend over there looks like he has some bruised ribs. I think you should call the hospital, Miss Hill."

She rolls her eyes, glaring down at Tony. "This is the second time this year, Mr. Stark, that we've had to include the hospital in these fights of yours."

"Yeah, I know," Tony says, wishing more than anything that the cafeteria would clear out a little faster than it is. "It's not my fault Thor's such an asshole."

"I know," she says. "I just wish you wouldn't encourage it."

"I don't know, ma'am. Your job would be pretty boring without me and Steve to fuck shit up, I think."

Miss Hill rolls her eyes heavenward with a faint smile. She and Tony hate each other, of course, but they sure do have fun doing it.

An ambulance is called and takes both Tony and Steve to the hospital. About halfway there Tony realizes he doesn't even know the name of Thor's brother, the guy who saved him a little earlier than usual. Hell, he didn't even know Thor _had_ a brother. Has he always had him? Maybe he was recently adopted, because they sure as hell don't look alike.

"Afternoon, Tony," the receptionist at the desk says as Tony and Steve stumble in with Miss Hill. "Steve."

"Hello, Mrs. Hardy," they say, giving her a smile and a wave as they're seated for the wait for being put back together.

Tony and Steve are in here so often they know all the receptions on a mostly first name basis. Even if they're not here for themselves, Steve's mother Sarah has been off and on with having pneumonia, not to mention having breast cancer, so she's in here pretty often too. (His dad was an alcoholic and died when he was pretty young, so the only person he had to look up for was his grandpa, who fought in the war.) Basically Steve is always in the hospital with his mom and Tony spends the night along with him every once in a while. Pepper and Bruce come over too, sometimes, but not as often. They know that the best friends would rather just be alone.

**XxX**

_October 2  
Tuesday…_

Tony goes to school the next morning with a bandage across his nose and with his darkest pair of sunglasses, partly because he has two black eyes but mostly because he's completely hung over. Steve stayed with his mom in the hospital last night, but Tony went home before grabbing a half empty bottle of scotch and some ice cubes before getting drunk in his room.

"Here's some Advil, Tone," Bruce says, appearing at his side. "Miss Hill said I could. Are you doing alright?"

"Yeah, Ban," Tony says, slinging an arm over his friends shoulder. "Way better than Tuesday."

"Today is Tuesday."

"_Last_ Tuesday."

"Tony!" a new voice says, and they turn to see Steve and Pepper, Steve sporting a shiny pair of aviators and the big brown leather jacket he wears to try and hide his stick-ish frame.

"Well hey!" Tony says, clinging to Bruce so he doesn't fall over. "Fancy seein' you here."

"Here's your water bottle," Pepper says, unscrewing the lid. "Three Advil and you'll be fine by second period."

"Don't let Fury catch you with those sunglasses again," Steve says. "Are your contacts acting up at all?"

"No," Tony says, letting Bruce steer him to his locker. "I'm fine. Fine." He and Bruce head off to calculus while Steve and Pepper go their separate ways.

That's how they spend every morning where Tony and/or Steve got beat up the day before. Tony comes to school hung over, Hill allows Bruce to bring Advil (though he would even if she didn't), Pepper brings a bottle of water, and Steve makes sure that he's actually doing alright.

Tony naps through his first period calculus class, the activity kept secret from Mr. Crosetti thanks to Bruce. Tony adores Bruce. He's like a giant teddy bear, but Tony knows what's really inside of him. His family life can be hell thanks to his single mom with too many boyfriends (his parents got divorced when he was four and Bruce hasn't seen his father since), but somehow he never gets angry about hardly anything. Or at least not angry enough to show it. There was this one time, though…

Tony was over, and so was Bruce's moms' (Rebecca) newest boyfriend. The guy was an absolute jackass, and something he said snapped Bruce so much that he actually leveled the guy. He (the boyfriend, not Bruce) spent five days in the hospital. Tony wishes Bruce would get that angry again and beat up Thor a bit, but in truth he never wants to see his friend that angry ever again.

Second period Tony has advanced art with Steve, and he feels quite better by then. After that, though, is an eight minute break that Tony instantly ditches Steve for, going straight to his third period class.

Tony's favorite class of the day is his third period class, so he always just makes his way straight to the advanced chemistry room instead of spending the small time doing something else. His friends don't know that he goes there simply to hang out with his favorite teacher, Mr. Coulson, but instead think he runs to the bathroom and then goes to get extra credit material. He's never done extra credit in his life, though. Why do something you don't need to do when it's not even going to be able to improve your grade?

"Phil?" Tony says, poking his head into the room.

"Over here, Tone," comes the teacher's voice from around the corner. It's an oddly shaped room. It's huge and open, but there are two spots where it breaks off and goes into smaller rooms. One of them has a door, which is Phil's office, but the other is just an open place, which is where Phil is now.

"How'd I do on my test?" Tony asks, walking over to see what he's doing. It doesn't hold his interest for more than a second, though, because it's just regular junior chemistry stuff.

"How do you _think_ you did?" Phil asks, glancing up at Tony with a smile. "One-hundred and two percent, since you got my extra credit questions too."

Okay, so maybe he does do _some_ extra credit. But only if it's on tests. He never grabs clean worksheets or some shit.

"Obviously," Tony says, leaning against the counter. "Will you be at my chess tournament on Saturday?"

Phil smirks without looking up. "Of course I will," he says. "You know I come to all of those. You gonna win again?"

"I always win."

"Yeah, I know. How many trophies do you have again?"

"Eighteen."

"Sitting in the trash can behind your house that never gets taken out, I take it?"

"Where else? I don't want them in my room. They take up space and they're ugly."

They manage to get a few more words in before the door opens, and Phil's smile melts away to a very stern look. "And don't let me ever catch you again telling the freshman that we dissect their brains during senior year, am I clear?"

"Yes Mr. Coulson," Tony says dejectedly, turning to go over to his assigned seat in the back corner of the room. Him and Phil have been closer than anybody else (well, nearly) since last year. Phil rescued Tony from Thor one time because both Fury and Hill were out on a big meeting, and somehow they never stopped talking. They don't want anybody to know, though, because it's generally frowned upon for a student to be so close to a teacher that they can curl up under the same blanket on a movie night at the students house. No, Phil doesn't like Tony. No, Tony doesn't like Phil. He instead has a gigantic crush on Natasha; there must be something about badass women that beat him up, but he doesn't know. But in any case, they keep their friendship a thing of secret. Everybody thinks that they hate each other.

Fourth period he has running fitness and weight training with Thor and Natasha (or he would, if they and Clint weren't suspended), and of course he can't wear sunglasses while doing jumping jacks, so he gets to show off his awesome face. Black eyes, bruised nose, bruised cheeks, and a cut lip. They're not all from just yesterday, though. He and Thor have been fighting for way too long.

Finally its lunch and he collapses down in his usual spot beside Steve. "I feel like shit," he sighs, picking apart the peel of an orange.

"Maybe if you didn't drink so much you wouldn't," Steve says darkly.

"I'm a senior, Steve-o. Don't hurt yourself."

"Don't look now," Bruce says, "but your guys' senior savior is over there with pretty boy."

Obviously Tony and Steve both look. Thor's little (in _every_ way) brother is standing with Peter Parker, the prettiest looking bad-boy senior you ever did see. Hair a mess, ripped jeans, scrapes on his face, and the skateboard that he carries around to go through the halls and to get to and from home. Beside him is his girlfriend, Gwen Stacy. He…really doesn't seem her type. She dresses in mini skirts and knee-high socks and still manages to look proper enough to uphold her father's name (the head policeman of good ole New York) and her job (at Oscorp or something; Tony only knows because his dad has done a few business deals with her boss, Dr. Curtis Connors).

Of course, Thor's brother sees Tony and Steve almost instantly and says something to Peter before making his way over to them.

"Hey," he says with a bright smile. He's wearing a flannel and looks a lot better than Steve usually does. "How are you two feeling?"

"Fine," Tony and Steve says together, though Steve's is bright and chirpy while Tony's is dark and snippy.

Pepper reaches across to punch him in the shoulder. "Don't be an ass."

"_I'm_ an ass?" Tony snaps, turning to her. "Tell that to his _brother_."

"I'll tell him for you when I get home," Mr. Green Eyes says, sitting down beside Tony like he owns the place.

"Uh, no," Bruce says quickly. "The last time we had a message relayed Steve ended up in the trash bin out back."

Thor's brother frowns, looking between Tony and Steve. "I don't know which of you is Steve."

Steve smiles, sticking a hand out to him. "Steve Rogers. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise. I'm Loki," he replies, reaching in front of Tony to shakes Steve's hand. Then he turns to Tony with an expecting smile.

Tony stares at him and eats a piece of orange before answering: "Tony fuckin' Stark, at your _service_."

Even at the jackass reply, Loki smiles brightly at him, green eyes shimmering. "I knew I recognized you. I've been to a couple of your chess tournaments."

Tony tilts his head down and pushes his sunglasses down his nose to look at him. "You what?"

"Gwen's friend plays, she brings Peter, and Peter brings me. Is there a reason you don't ever care about winning?"

Tony pushes his sunglasses back up and eats another piece of orange. "Yeah. I've been to eighteen tournaments and I've won every single one of them. It's boring because nobody's as good as me." He looks over at Bruce, reaching across to pat him on the hand. "Except you. I like playing with you."

Bruce pats him back. "Thanks, Tone. I can always count on you."

"I'll play you," Loki says, and everybody turns to blink at him.

"You'll lose," Pepper says, sipping from the coffee she gets at the office. She's a TA for Mr. Fury and Miss Hill.

"Oh, I know that," Loki says, standing with a smile that's illegally bright and innocent. "I've never played before. Meet me outside the front door when school is out, kay?" And he walks away before Tony can turn him down.

"Did I just get asked out on the nerdiest date of my life by a guy I met for five minutes yesterday?"

"It's your _only_ date," Pepper says, "and no. You have a pathetic crush on a total bitch anyway."

"Hey," S says. "Good news is you'll get along."

"Come on, Tony," Bruce says. "Why her? Why _Natasha_? You couldn't choose the sweet junior girl in your AP government class?"

"Does she _still_ like me? Bruce, I don't even know what her _name_ is. No, I don't want her, that's way too boring. I need someone with a mouth—and I _don't_ mean on my dick."

Pepper hits his shoulder before saying, "I beg to differ. You need somebody to counteract _yours_."

Tony smirks. "That may be true, Pep, but you can't say I never got turned on when you swore at me while—"

Pepper hits him again to shut him up, causing him to snort, while Steve rolls his eyes and Bruce averts his. Tony and Pepper never had sex, but they got close. Not that Tony didn't want to, but Pepper's too respectable for that. She promised herself (who makes promises to themselves? How boring) that she wouldn't have sex until she was out of the house. And Tony respects that, he just wishes he could have anyway. Pepper was the one who first brought up the need for a break-up, and while after it was talked through it was a mutual idea (because it wasn't to Tony until it was thoroughly explained), it still hurt. Tony said he was fine, and he was as far as he could tell.

Unbeknownst to himself at the time, though, he was actually rather devastated, which started his next relationship a couple of weeks later (that only lasted two months) with a senior girl (that's right, sophomore gettin' with the older girls) named Christine Everhart. She had already had sex before, and Tony's always been a charmer as long as people can stomach the fact that he's a total asshole, so they had it a few times, and that was Tony's virginity loss. Nothing special, but nothing he regrets either. He had it a few more times with some hookups in his junior year, too, and once during the most recent summer, but now he literally cannot stomach it because he likes Natasha so much. Even though she hates him and he doesn't know her near as well as he acts, he feels like he's betraying himself by doing anything with anyone. Sure, he shamelessly flirts, and he'll make out with someone, but that's about it. That's what masturbation is for, right? Which Tony also hasn't done much of lately. He's too busy drinking, not doing his homework, and tinkering with the eight hundred thousand projects cluttered around his bedroom.

Christine graduated a couple years ago, now, and is a reporter for some newspaper. She actually came over to Tony's place once last year to interview his dad, and boy was _that_ confrontation awkward. It was funny, though. Tony happened to be walking past the front door right when she knocked, and Pepper was with him because they were working on their French homework (since they had it together last year as well). Opening the door, Pepper smirked, Tony blinked a lot, and Christine gave the tiniest of glares. Tony's the one that broke up with her, after all, and not very nicely. He told her right out that "I'm realizing now that I just used you because I was hurt so there's actually no feelings between us at all and I feel bad so uh we should break up" and that was pretty much that.

"Hi!" she had said, smacking lip-glossed lips at him. "Got back together with your ex, then?"

Pepper had burst into laughter. "No, we're well past that." Then the laughter was gone from her face entirely. "We actually stayed friends, though."

"Poor you," she said, giving Pepper a condescending smile. "Anyway, Tony." She turned to Tony, the same smile on her face. "I'm sure you heard about the reporting job I got. I'm here to see your father, Howard."

"Yeah, I know his name," Tony said, raising his eyebrows and then lowering them in a not-so eye roll. "But thanks."

She gave an evil smirk. "Can I come in? I'm doing a spread on him."

"Oh, like the one you did on Tony last year?" Pepper asked.

"PEPPER!" Tony yelled, pushing her away from the door. "Go to my room!"

"I'm going, I'm going," she said, flitting her wrist as she sashayed up the steps. "Don't have too much fun, Everhart."

Tony gave her a smile both apologetic and guilty, inviting her in and letting her follow him around until he found his dad.

Tony looks over at Pepper and gives her a look, and she smirks. He knows she knows exactly what he's thinking about. Good times.

Fifth period is his second year of French with Pepper, and Clint happens to have it as well. Pepper easily has the highest grade in class, but Tony's pretty sure that Clint is right behind her. Whenever Tony is feeling down he pictures the guy in the classic French outfit of a black and white striped long sleeve, a red sash, a black beret, and a thin little handlebar mustache. It hurts to know that he actually looks okay as a French kid, but it's still funny. Maybe he'll start imagining him as a mime instead.

Sixth period is his literature through film class, and they just read a book and then watch its movie. Classic things like _To Kill a Mockingbird_, but also recent things like _The Hunger Games_. They read and watched _Perfume: the Story of a Murderer_, too, but that was… Well, let's just say that some students and their parents complained. Even Tony was scarred for life. He liked it, though. It was creepy and weird as fuck, but he still liked it. He also has that class with both of his recent savior's best friends, but they've never really talked before. Those are the only three movies they've gotten through so far, and next they're watching _Matilda_.

School starts at eight-thirty and ends at three-fifteen, so seventh period is the last class of the day, in which he has AP government. It's the only class he has that he doesn't at least have it with somebody that he knows. First with Bruce, second with Steve, third is taught by Phil, fourth with Natasha and Thor, fifth with Pepper and Clint, and sixth with Peter and Gwen. Even though he just gets beat up by Natasha and Thor and then he doesn't talk to Peter and Gwen he at least knows them. Seventh, though, he's got all by himself. There is one girl he always ends up paired with, though, but he doesn't even know her name. It's the girl Bruce really wants him to like, but it's a wasted want. The only way that Tony would stop liking Natasha enough to like somebody else is if somebody came along and literally _forced_ themselves between them, and so far it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: This chapter was originally called "Two Groups and a Savior" but how boring is that? So. I changed it to what it is now because…idk the first time Tony sees Loki he's above him so his emerald green eyes are higher? Whatever it sounds cooler than the last thing and without the description so whatever XD

Anyway, that's it for chapter one! Hope you liked it and want to keep reading, because it took way too long to write this entire thing. I know first chapters are always kind of boring because background, but the whole story is good I swear! Anyway, tell me what you think! :)


	2. The Deep Green Sea

**2: The Deep Green Sea**

_October 2  
Tuesday…_

Against his better judgment, Tony waits outside of the school. And just when he's about to leave…

"Boo!"

Tony screams (a manly scream, of course), and his sunglasses go flying—but are caught by none other than Tony's "date".

"Sorry, sorry!" Loki says, face so apologetic it hurts Tony to look at him. "I didn't mean to; that was supposed to be funny!" He shoves Tony's sunglasses back into his hands.

"Good lord, are you _trying_ to kill me on the first date?"

Loki blinks at him. "I—date?"

Tony sighs. "No, sorry, that's not what I meant." He puts his sunglasses back on. "We were making fun of you. Well, _I_ was making fun of you. The others were making fun of _me_."

"I don't understand."

Tony blinks up at him. Geez, is _every_body taller than him? "Never mind. Are we going straight to my place or we gettin' coffee first? I mean, I assume we're going to my place since your brother is out to kill me."

Loki grimaces. "I'm sorry about him. He's…um…"

"Don't apologize for you brother, I don't want to hear it. Do you have a car?"

"I…no."

"Well I do. Audi R8. Don't tell your brother or it's coming out of _your_ families insurance."

They make their way over to said car, Loki's jaw dropped at it.

"Don't hurt yourself," Tony says. "Backpack in the trunk and yourself in the passenger seat."

Tony speeds them to the nearest Starbucks, ordering a simple black coffee and then buying Loki a donut. He's never cared about spending money on people, considering that his family is too rich for words since his dad owns Stark Industries and his mom works at a hair solon when she feels like it. They own a three story (plus the attic and basement) mansion in the most expensive neighborhood in town and Tony gets whatever he wants and blah, blah, blah.

"Good lord," Loki breathes, looking up at the Stark mansion with even more awe than he had at the car. "To think I've seen Howard Stark on TV, and now I'm at his house with his son."

"Yeah, to play _chess_," Tony says, parking outside of the house. "Real cool."

Loki shrugs, swinging himself out of the car as Tony does. They grab their backpacks and head inside.

Tony punches in the key code that's right outside of the front door to disable the silent alarm. If it stays on for three minutes then the police are called and the security system gives the intruder a run for their money (AKA there are secret guns built in to nearly every in every room of the mansion that stick out and point themselves at the intruder via heat censors). If it's anybody that the Stark family has put into the system, though, they need only say their name. The only people that Tony knows are on it other than he and his parents are Steve, Pepper, Bruce, Phil, and his dad's friend Obadiah Stane. Tony is actually close to Obadiah as well, but just when they see each other. They don't go out of their way to spend the day together or anything.

"You know," he says as he walks more into the house. "It's rude to stare."

Loki snaps his jaw again and gives Tony a quaint look. "It's also rude not to thank someone when they rescue you from a public beating."

"Yeah, well, the only people I thank are mo—Pepper"—(he calls Pepper mom sometimes, and he doesn't exactly want that _known_)—"so you can let that little dream ship sail. Do you drink?"

Loki frowns, following after Tony into the kitchen. "No, and neither should you."

"Probably not. Fancy a glass of orange juice instead? We've got some in the fridge, I think."

"Um, no thank you. I'll stick to my donut. I, um, could you, uh…"

"Spit it out, Lo'."

His eyes open at the nickname, but he says, "I'm sure you're a far more pleasant person when you're drunk, but I would appreciate it if you stuck to your coffee while I'm present in your…humble abode."

Tony blinks at him. "_How_ are you related to _Thor_?"

Loki swallows the last bite of his donut. "It's confusing and I don't really want to tell you."

"Then I guess I'll pour myself a glass of scotch."

Loki eyes narrow. "I don't have to stay here, you know. Peter or Gwen will pick me up in a heartbeat."

Tony snorts, downing the last of his coffee. "Whatever, man. This was your idea, not mine. I don't give a shit if you stay. Am I going to teach you how to play my game or not?"

Loki purses his lips, looks down at the tile floor, and then back up at Tony. "If you don't drink I'll tell you the story behind the relation between Thor and me."

"Fine." He slams the door shut and stalks past Thor's brother with a glare. "My room's in the attic," he mutters. "Come on."

"The attic?" Loki asks, hurrying after him. "Whatever for?"

"Because it's as far from my dad as I can get."

Loki is silent for a moment (or at least his mouth is. He's as loud as a horse as he clomps up the stairs after Tony). "Why don't you like him?"

"Because he doesn't like _me_," Tony snaps. "Now, I don't see any liquor in my hands. Are you going to tell me your life or not? And what the hell is your last name, by the way?"

"I have two, in a very obscure sense. Right now it's Asgard, because Thor's family adopted me back when I was in first grade, at the age of seven. Thor was in second, but he was held back in eighth grade—not because he's stupid, but just because he didn't do his work or didn't show up for classes—so we went into high school together. Different schools, of course. I just came here this year. I was usually never in the cafeteria because I don't like it, so that's how I missed all of the fights beforehand.

"My last name used to be Laufeyson. I was put into an orphanage as a newborn, so I grew up in the place. Then the Asgard's came along, and Thor wanted a little brother, and _boy_ was he adorable then." He chuckles. "Of course, that changed pretty fast. The Asgard's aren't from America, and that's why their English is so polite. At least _how_ they say it…not exactly _what_ they say. Thor picked me out, you know. He scoured the entire orphanage and chose me. I still don't know why and I probably never will."

"Yeah?" Tony says, glancing back at him as they climb the last set of steps. "Why aren't you a total jackass like he is, then?"

Loki sighs. "I didn't usually stay with them, and after Thor got his own friends they didn't really care. Odin is a terrible father. He loves Thor to death, but I know that he never wanted me. My being adopted just doesn't suit him. Frigga's a brilliant mother, though. She and Odin are both very close, and she absolute adores both Thor and I. She's very…sad a lot, though. She's good at hiding it when she's around Odin and/or Thor, but when she's around me she just lets herself be exactly how she is because she knows that I can see it anyway. She used to just come into my room on the excuse that she was helping me with my homework, but in reality we would just be sitting on my floor and holding each other…" He sighs. "I've never figured out why it is that she's so sad. Maybe it's Odin's cold nature, or maybe its Thor's just being an idiot all of the time. Whatever it is, she doesn't exactly regulate what we do anymore. She just…lets us do whatever we want."

T nods. That's sad. He knows a lot of families like that.

"Because I don't like Thor or Odin," L continues, "I've basically lived out with other friends, or I used to even sleep out on the porch so I wouldn't have to see them. I'm not a…a jackass"—(he says it so cautiously Tony has to force himself not to laugh)—"because it's simply not in my nature to be one. Odin, though, is a born one; he lies and cheats all of his business partners and almost always gets away with it. And of course Thor is learning firsthand… Not that I'm not learning at all, of course. I'm better at lying than either of them. Anyway, Thor told mother that _you_ started the fight that got him suspended, you know, and she one-hundred percent believes him. That's another reason you don't want to come over to my house. She hates you. Right now they all think I'm over at Peter's, which mean Peter and Gwen both know I'm here as well."

"Huh. That's why they'll come pick you up in a heartbeat, then?" Tony stops in front of the only door at the top floor.

"No," Loki says stiffly. "It's because they're my best friends."

Tony gives a respectful nod before knocking on the door in a specific pattern. There's a little ding that lets him know the pattern was correct, so Tony holds onto the doorknob for three seconds, hears the ding of the acceptance of his fingerprints, and pushes it open to reveal his bedroom.

Loki snorts before bursting into laughter. "What is _this_?" he asks, following Tony into the room. It's a very large attic (considering how big the house is, why would it be small?), cluttered with papers and guns and all sorts of electronics, from laptops to robot parts to remote control helicopters to a Nintendo 64 (and a Wii, and an Xbox, and a few other things) hooked up to a flat screen TV in the corner of the room. The walls are covered in posters and blueprints, there's a strip of blue light all around the room (censors, of course, but Loki probably doesn't know that), the single circle shaped window that is at all times covered with a very thick red and gold drape, and there's a 101 Dalmatians lamp by his bed. Then of course there's the queen sized bed, the drawer/cupboard stand that's taller than Tony (and serves as his closet), the nightstand by his bed, and the million and one desks cluttered around that hold up all of Tony's crap.

"This place is a mess! Good lord, I thought you just liked chess! What is that? Is that a robot? And what are those funny blue lights around the room? Wouldn't they keep you awake at night? I mean they must—"

"I don't recall you liking men, sir."

Tony bursts into laughter, both at Loki leaping three feet into the air at the "voice from nowhere" and at Jarvis's comment.

"That's Jarvis," Tony says, tossing his backpack onto the floor. "Made him a few years ago. He's, um…kind of a voice. Not a robot, but an AI. He's my bedroom security, and I'm trying to get him into my car as well, but it's proving slightly difficult."

Loki swallows, setting his backpack lightly on the wooden floor. "That's amazing. Do you, um…did you name him?"

Tony nods. "It's after a Bulgarian cereal I used to eat as a child."

Loki's eyes, if possible, widen more. "_Really_?"

Tony snorts. "No, not at all. Don't be so gullible. It stands for Just A Really Very Intelligent System."

"Very creative, in any case," Jarvis says sarcastically. "How did you do on your advanced chemistry test from last Friday, sir?"

"The usual." He turns to a corner of his room. "DUM-E, wake up and set up a game of chess for my friend and I."

"Friend?" Jarvis says with a chuckle.

Tony looks up at the censors with a half glare-half smirk. "He's the guy who rescued me yesterday. Thor's younger brother. And we're not even _friends_, so let it go, _please_."

"May I at least make fun of both your black eyes, sir?"

Tony rolls his eyes. "Mute." He turns to Loki, who's slowly walking around the room to look at everything. "Sorry about him. He's a bit of a smartass."

Loki looks up with a smile. "I don't know, I think he's rather cute. What does this do?" He points to a golden arm.

"Oh, I was trying to create my own C3P-O."

"You mean the robot from Star Wars?"

"Right." He looks over at DUM-E who, right as he does, drops the chess board all over the floor. "Good _lord_!" Tony yells, walking over to shoo him away. "I don't know why I ask you to do _any_thing anymore. Move it, butterfingers, I'll do it myself." He picks everything up and sets it on the bed, ignoring the look Loki gives him. When it's all set up, he looks at Loki with an expectant look. "Well? Am I going to teach you or not?"

Loki shrugs. "I just assumed we'd be playing on a table, but I suppose it is the only clean surface in the entire room." He walks over and sits beside the board, staring down at the pieces. "Can I be white?"

Tony grins. "No. White goes first and I'm the teacher, so I get it."

Loki huffs. "Fine. Explain the pieces."

"I'll go in simple ranks…" When T's finished explain the names, number of point's worth, and uses of each piece, he smiles. "Got all of that?"

Loki bites onto his bottom lip. "You had me all the way up to 'simple ranks'."

Tony stares at him, just _blinking_ at him, before he sighs and starts all over again, this time making Loki repeat it after him.

"Alright, now I think I can do it," he says, pulling his legs up into a crisscross position. "You go and I'll copy your moves. You just…explain the reasoning behind your move so I know what I'm doing."

So they have a mock game. Tony un-mutes Jarvis when they're done, giving Loki an earpiece so that the AI can help him without Tony hearing it as well. Tony still wins of course, but at least by the sixth game Loki stops using the exact same strategy Tony taught him at first.

"I'm hungry," Tony says, looking over at his mini fridge to think about what he wants before remembering Loki isn't letting him drink anything.

Loki notices, too. "How often _do_ you drink, anyway?" he asks, somewhat like a father asking how much candy a child has stolen from the cupboards.

"Probably too much," Tony says, standing up and shoving his hands into his pockets as he walks over to his backpack where he keeps cell phone. "But not as much as some. Are you hungry? How about pizza?"

Loki flops onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. There are posters and blueprints up there as well. "Whatever. Cheese, please."

Tony presses the speed dial for his usual pizza place (his parents are only over for dinner if they have guests over). "What, you don't eat meat?" he asks.

"Nope. I'm vegetarian."

He laughs. "Well I'm getting pepperoni. Are you so against it that you won't pick it off and give it to me?"

"No, I can do that. I don't not eat it because I'm against the killing of animals or anything; I just simply don't like it. I'll eat eggs, though. I'm not a strict vegetarian or anything. I just tell people that because I don't like explaining everything that I just explained to you."

Tony can't help but laugh, but he cuts himself off when his phone call is answered. "Sharon? Is that you?" Sharon works at the nearest pizza place, and he orders from it so often that they've actually gotten to know each other rather well. They've exchanged numbers just to text when they're bored, but that's just once in a blue moon. They've never actually met in person and they have no idea what each other looks like because she's never the one who delivers it.

"Tony! Hey, it's been a long time!"

"Yeah, a whole day has passed since I ordered from you yesterday. A terribly long time, I'm so sorry."

"Apology accepted. The usual?"

"Actually, no. I got some guy over. Toss out the sausages, yeah?"

"Oooh, goin' for a whole new breed, eh?"

"Good lord, not you too. You know I've had a crush on that one girl Nat—" He cuts off, glancing back at Loki just in time to see him looking up at Tony with his widest set of eyes yet. He turns back away, though, to continue his call. "Yeah, that one girl I told you about. Just have it delivered as usual."

"Right, Tone. It'll be there in twenty minutes, nice and hot, just how you like it."

"Awesome. Bye."

"Bye!"

He shoves his phone into his pocket before turning around to face Loki's wide eyes. "Don't you dare say _any_thing," he says, wagging a finger.

Loki ignores him. "_You_ have crush on _Natasha_? Are you in_sane_? She'll kill you! I mean, if she can get to you before Clint and Thor do. Good lord, Tony, you're raging _mad_."

Tony rolls his eyes. "I know, I know, Bruce tells me every fucking day. Leave it alone, would you? I barely even know you. We're playing chess for fucks sake. I play chess against people I hate."

Loki shrugs. "Well, I did tell you that I'm adopted. Tell me why you like her."

Tony glares at him, muting Jarvis against because he starts laughing. "Why wouldn't you? She's attractive and doesn't take shit from anyone. Best kind of girl, if you ask me. Too bad she hates me, is dating someone who hates me, and is best friends with a guy who hates me."

Loki snorts, earning another glare from Tony. "Yeah, too bad. Another game?"

"It'll be twenty minutes, but I don't want to play another game. Let's just…I don't know, go get dishes and stuff. You're welcome to stay for a movie in the home theater on the bottom floor, I guess."

"Well, I mean, I don't want to intrude…"

"You are, actually. I would have been drunk by now."

Loki rolls his eyes. "What movie do you have in mind?"

"I don't know, Jarvis and I usually watch it up here and just talk through them. What do you want? We have everything."

"Um…something action packed. Something I won't fall asleep to."

"If you suggest anything with Angelina Jolie I will thrust the pizza box through your chest."

"I was _not_ going to suggest SALT or The Tourist. How about Hook? Robin Williams is good."

"That's not action packed! It's about a middle aged man that rediscovers his childhood and de-wigs Dustin Hoffman."

L blushes the tiniest bit, but it goes away almost instantly. "Oh, come on, you have to love it."

"I've seen it once and I don't care if I see it again. Unlike what I'm sure you assume, I'd rather watch a good drama or a romance where they don't get together in the end. Ever seen The Deep Blue Sea?"

Loki shakes his head. "I can't say I have. Is it any good?"

"It's my favorite movie. I watched it with…" He trails off, realizing he probably shouldn't announce that he sits way too close to his teacher while watching movies. "Well, any old friend. We don't talk anymore. Anyway, enough of that. You want Robin Williams? I'll give him to you. But none of this Peter Pan stuff. Ever heard of Dead Poets Society?"

"No. What's it about?"

"You'll have to watch it to find out, yeah?"

Loki smirks, standing up from the bed. "Yeah, I suppose I will."

Tony un-mutes Jarvis. "Could you get the movie going, Jay?" he asks. "I hate fucking previews."

"You have sex with previews?" Loki says, suddenly in front of Tony and pushing the door open. "Wow. I thought you were weird before." He skips out with a grin.

Tony chuckles, pulling off his sunglasses and setting them on the nearest table. For such a goody-two-shoes, he's cute. And hey, he's got the power to keep Thor from beating him up. Maybe he'll let him stick around for a bit.

**XxX**

_October 2  
Tuesday…_

By the time the movie is over ("He_ killed _himself?" Loki all but screeches. "That is _terrible_!"), it's way too late for a school night, but Tony insists on driving Loki home.

"Oh, shush, it's far too late and too far for you to walk home or call somebody else. 'Sides, I'm not going to bed anytime soon. I need a drink, to do my homework, and DUM-E needs a cleanup."

"I…who is Dummy, exactly?"

"He's my robot. The one that failed to set up my chess board? It's spelt D-U-M-dash-E."

"And why did you name him that?"

"Because he is."

"If I wasn't so tired I would laugh. Just take me home."

"Good lord, you're tired? It's barely even eleven."

"I usually try to go to bed at nine. I…get grumpy easily."

Tony snorts, pulling open the door that leads into the garage—and stopping abruptly. "Dad! Mom! Um…hi."

"Hi," his dad says, stomping past without a second glance. It hurts. It _always_ hurts. Tony doesn't know why anymore, but it does.

"Hello sweetie," his mom says tiredly, patting him lightly on the top of his head. "Fancy meeting you at the door. You're usually hibernating up in your room by seven. Who's your friend?"

What with still grappling from his dad, Tony can't speak. "I, um, this is, uh…"

"Loki Asgard," Loki says, taking over for Tony without a second though, holding his hand out. "Tony and I go to school together."

"Oh," his mother says, shaking Loki's hand politely. "We haven't seen anyone new here in, oh, I don't know, a long time."

"Well, nice to know I could bring about a change," Loki says with a smile. "Come along, Tony. I should have been in bed ages ago." He walks out past both Stark's with a bright smile, heading towards Tony's Audi.

As soon as Loki is out of hearing distance (his car is as far away from the door as it can get), Tony gives her a weary smile. He really does love his mother. He's just terrible at showing it. "He wouldn't let me drink at all."

She presses her lips into a thin line. "Well, I'm glad you have one good influence. He's not one of your…experiments, is he?"

"Good lord, mom, did Jarvis call you or something? He just invited himself over to play chess. We ate pizza and watched Dead Poets Society—_not_ a romantic movie. Calm down." He walks away before she can answer. Honestly, if _one_ more person suggests that they're more than friends he is going to rip out a kidney or two.

He and Loki are speeding down roads in no time, Tony not giving a shit that Loki's place is all the way on the other side of town.

"Your mom seems nice," Loki says quietly.

"Don't," Tony growls. "You were over one night; I won't have to talking to me about my fucking family problems."

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to start anything. Don't drive angry. Do you want to pull over? It's alright."

"No," Tony says, calmer now. "I'm fine. Pick another topic."

"I didn't like the movie."

Tony manages a laugh. "I didn't think you would. It's Phil's favorite movie. He…" Tony sighs, rolling his eyes at himself. What the hell is it about Loki fucking Asgard that he can't keep his damn mouth shut?

"Phil?" Loki asks. "Who's that?"

"That old friend of mine."

"Yeah? Tell me about him. You seem to miss him a lot."

"Um, no. New topic."

"No, come on. I won't tell anyone."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Nah, come on. There's got to be something. What's his favorite book?"

Tony should probably not announce that his straight teacher's favorite book is about two gay men, so he chooses his second: "_Brighty of the Grand Canyon_ by Marguerite Henry." He also will not explain to Loki that said book is about a donkey.

"And his favorite color?"

"Green, because it's the color all the villains like to wear."

"Does he play an instrument?"

"He plays the piano like a god. He didn't start taking lessons till sophomore year at college, too."

"Huh. Older guy, then."

Tony snaps his head over to Loki for a second (just a second, so he doesn't crash). "Right. We're done."

"What? Ashamed you have an older guy for a friend? There's nothing wrong wi—"

Tony cuts him off by slamming on the breaks. "We're here."

Loki frowns, looking over at his house. "I didn't give you any directions."

"What, you think I stalked you earlier? I know where my least favorite person in the world lives. Get out."

"I forgot my backpack in your bedroom…"

Tony sighs, knowing that he's being at total asshole. Like father like son. "I'll bring it to school tomorrow, yeah?"

"Thanks. And Tony?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want to go to the cinema with me tomorrow? So you're not hibernating, I mean."

Tony actually cracks a smile. "Thanks, Lo', but…I think I'm going to call up my old friend Phil."

Loki gives a genuine smile, opening the door. "Let me see you cell phone."

Tony frowns, handing it over to him. "Why?"

"I'm putting my own number into your contacts." He maneuvers easily through Tony's high-tech touch screen. Then he hands it back to Tony, pulling out his own phone to answer a message he sent himself from Tony's phone. "And now I have your number, too." He gives Tony a smile, swinging his legs out. "Goodnight, Tony. Don't hurt yourself."

"Yeah," Tony huffs. "Right."

As soon as Loki shuts the door, Tony speeds back home at very illegal speeds.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: 1. The movie "The Deep Blue Sea" actually has Tom Hiddleston in it. It's stuck in my head because I watched it for the first time while writing this chapter. So just pretend that he's _not_ the one who plays Loki so they look extremely similar and stuff. Just pretend they're two totally different people. Oh and while I'm at it, any other movies that I mention with him in it…just do the same thing. I will not be bringing up any of the Avengers movies, though, so that's all good.

2. Also this chapter is titled "The Deep Green Sea" because one 1) it's Tony's favorite movie (without the green part, I mean) for reasons I decided not to come up with and 2) because Loki's eyes are green. I replaced the word blue with green because this marks the first day of Tony sinking into a sea that is Loki. So yeah another chapter title that references Loki's green eyes woo


	3. Retellings & Recorders

**3: Retellings and Recorders**

_October 3  
Wednesday…_

Tony wakes up to DUM-E throwing things at him and Jarvis telling him what the weather is going to be like. He grabs both his and Loki's backpacks before driving to school early, sunglasses on now simply to hide his black eyes. He didn't drink at all last night, mostly because he knows he has an AP government test today and he doesn't want to be hung over. He also did his homework, and yes he went through Loki's backpack, because who'd miss an opportunity like that?

Loki is already at school when he gets there, chatting with pretty boy and his girl about lord knows what.

"Here," he says, holding Loki's backpack up, completely interrupting them. "Don't ask if I went through it, 'cause I did. I corrected your math assignment in your handwriting, too, because I had nothing better to do and I didn't want to go to sleep."

Loki gives a smile, a laugh, and sort of unbelievable gasp all at once. "Um, thank you. Thank you very much. Thor and Natasha send their regards, by the way. I tried keeping it secret, but they dragged it out of me. Did you call Phil—?"

"Yes," Tony says, cutting him off. "He's coming over tonight. See you." Tony heads off.

"Wait, Tony!" Loki calls after him.

But Tony just keeps going, straight to his first period class. Bruce shows up shortly after, Advil in his hands. "Ran into your not-boyfriend in the hallway with Steve. He said that you need to clean your room."

Tony lowers his sunglasses just enough to glare at him. "You know my room is as clean as it can get."

"Hardly," he snorts. "How bad did it go?"

"Well, it wasn't _horrible_. He wouldn't let me drink, but I taught him how to play chess, we ate pizza, and then we watched Dead Poets Society. And, walking to my car, we ran into my parents."

Bruce grimaces. "Ooh, fun. I remember meeting your dad…"

"Yeah, me too. Sad thing is, you're his favorite since you're right up in smarts with me."

"Yeah…" He sighs. "Yeah."

**XxX**

_October 3  
Wednesday…_

As usual, Tony goes straight to Phil's room after second period. Steve only asked him what he and Loki did, but that was that. Tony loves the guy to death; he knows exactly when to stop pushing at something.

As always, the room is empty aside from Phil.

"Eyes doing any better?" he asks, pulling off Tony's sunglasses. "Yeah, they're doing alright enough. Your nose looks better too."

Tony nods, letting him fold the glasses and set them on the presentation desk at the front of the room, careful not to smudge the lenses. "What are you doing tonight?" he asks.

"Just grading papers. The usual."

"Do you want to come over? I can help you get all of it done, and then we can watch Archipelago again."

Phil taps his chin. "How about some Mel Gibson? We haven't watched Forever Young in a while."

Tony smiles. "Yeah, okay. What time can you be over?"

"I'll probably leave about half an hour after school gets out. I have a student coming by for extra credit work. I'll text you if I get held up, alright?"

Tony smiles and nods. "Sounds good."

**XxX**

_October 3  
Wednesday…_

Lunch rolls along, and Pepper questions Tony down to the last detail of his "night with Loki". Of course he left out all the slip-ups about Phil, and his made up answer to Loki about going to the theater was a simple no.

But of course Mr. Asgard-Laufeyson shows up again, sitting beside Tony with a smile. "And _how_ much did you drink last night?"

Tony rolls his eyes, wishing he'd had his sunglasses off so it would be seen. "Shut the fuck up."

Loki's eye rolling actually is seen. "Are you excited to see your friend again?"

Tony pushes his sunglasses down enough to glare at him. "Look, are you following me around because you still want your thank you for shortening my ass-kicking on Monday? Because you're not going to get it. I told you, I—"

"Only thank Pepper, I know." He winks at said woman, and when Pepper smiles back Tony is just downright confused. "I just didn't want you drinking again."

"Yeah, well, my friend only allows cooler beers when he's over. Keep your shirt on, oh mighty protector of mine."

Loki's face lights up. "Really? Do I get that title?"

Tony blinks at him before pushing his sunglasses up. "Your friend is trying to get your attention."

Loki turns around and waves at Peter before standing up. "Do you want to go to the theater _tomorrow_ night, then? Peter's busy so Gwen and I are going."

Tony sighs. "I don't know. Ask me tomorrow."

"Great! I'll tell her you're coming!" He heads off.

Tony stares after him before looking at his three friends. "What is _with_ this guy?" Tony says, swinging his arms up. "Who the hell would _willingly_ hang out with me even when they know what they're getting themselves into? He's a nutcase!"

Steve shrugs. "If that's his case," he says, "then that's what all of us are, too. Eat your food."

Tony frowns. "What, are you guys trying to set me up or something? You could at least start with a _girl_."

They all chuckle. "Uh, no," Pepper says. "We all just know that we're kind of boring, and maybe you need some new friends. Friends in high places."

Tony pulls his sunglasses off completely. "I can't believe it. You guys are promoting our friendship so Steve and I don't get beat up anymore. You dirty little _rats_."

They all shrug. "You know you love us," Steve says.

"But me the most," Bruce says with a warm smile, holding up a graded AP government paper. "The notes you wanted?"

Tony gives him a huge smile, grabbing it out of his hands. "You're right. I do love you most."

"Speaking of which," Steve says cautiously. "I met this college freshman down at the shooting range the other day…"

Tony can't help but chuckle. Just the image of Steve shooting a gun seems so wrong. "Yeah?" he says. "What about them?"

"They told me I was a natural and invited me out to a movie on Saturday."

"If you're asking permission to skip out on my chess tournament, it's granted. You know I don't care if you guys actually come or not."

Steve smiles. "Yeah, I did know that. I just had to make sure."

"Ooh, I love it when we get new friends," Pepper says, taking a bite of suspicious looking Jell-O. "What are their names?"

"Um, I only remember one of them. Sort of. He told me to call him Bucky."

Even Bruce snorts. "Wow," he says. "That's even worse than 'Pepper'."

Pepper elbows him.

**XxX**

_October 3  
Wednesday…_

Phil shows up as soon as he can, all his papers in the briefcase he carries around.

"Table's all set up," Tony says. "I even have your favorite pen. You left it here last time."

"I knew you had it," he says, walking inside and closing the door with his foot.

They set themselves up on the table, snacking on saltine crackers and cooler beers. Phil's favorite is grape flavored Smirnoff, but Tony'd rather stick to the Bud Light kind of stuff. Technically Phil's a bad influence since he allows Tony to illegally drink, but it doesn't really matter. Tony'd do it even if he wasn't here. Phil at least regulates it a bit.

"Jarvis called me this morning," Phil says as he puts red marks all over papers.

Tony pauses in his own marking and stares at him. "He _didn't_."

"No, he did. Said you had someone over last night. Branching out finally?"

Tony sighs at the prospect of telling the story _again_, looking back down at his papers. "I'm revoking his phone privileges for a week. Yes, I had Thor's little brother over."

Phil stops grading to look back up at Tony. "Loki?"

"Yeah. He invited himself over, actually. I taught him how to play chess, we ate pizza, and watched a movie before I drove him home."

"You don't like him at all, do you?" He's not asking it in the Tony being gay way, just simply if he likes him as a person.

Tony laughs. "No. He's really annoying, actually. I mean, hey, saved me a few more minutes beating before Fury and Hill showed up, great. But he's way too…I don't know, forward. He's acting like we're already best friends or something."

"Maybe he's lonely."

"Maybe he's best friends with Peter and Gwen anyway. I don't understand why he needs _me_ around. I don't even want _him_ around. I've got you, Pep, Ban, and Steve for that. Male adult figure, female adult figure, colleague, and best friend. I don't need the kid that looks up to me, too. _I'm_ the nerdy jackass, _I_ should be following _him_ around."

Phil smiles, going back to grading. "Still calling Miss Potts 'mom' behind her back?"

"Not entirely behind her back, no," Tony says, grinning. "But yes."

They finish up swiftly, Tony putting a thing of popcorn in the microwave while Phil slices up some apples. When they put in Forever Young, they sit in the same position they always do: Phil against the corner of the couch closest to the screen in the home theater room, and Tony sitting right up beside him. Then the blanket goes over both of them, and Phil's arm slings over Tony's shoulder. It's weird, yeah, but Tony doesn't care. Their relationship is strictly platonic. They just like being close to each other. The first time it happened was behind Tony fell asleep and just slumped against him. The second time because they first started crying and couldn't help but lean against each other for the feels. It just progressed from there.

But tonight…something feels wrong. It's not Phil, no, but Tony. Why is everybody going on about him being gay for Loki? They know he likes Natasha. They _know_ that. Why the hell would he like more than one person? That's a woman's thing, to have eight million boyfriends in their heads.

"Hey, Phil?" Tony says.

"Yes?" Phil replies.

"What would you do if I kissed you right now?"

"I'd probably have to go home, actually. You know, professionally."

"What about casually? What would _you_ want to do?"

"Well. I'd probably want to go home still." He chuckles. "Why do you ask?"

Tony sighs. "Because Loki."

Phil breathes a laugh. "Pause," he says, and the movie does. "And where does Miss Romanov fit into this?" he asks.

"I have _no_ idea. But apparently I'm going to a movie with Loki and Gwen Stacy tomorrow."

"And you don't want to?"

"No. No, I don't. But he gave me zero time to refuse and I feel like it's going to be absolutely awful."

"Then tell him you'll be with me. He thinks you haven't seen me in ages, right? Your old friend?"

Tony groans. "This is what I get for having him built into multiple bedrooms and my watch." He glares down at the device on his right wrist. "I hate it when he tells you things."

"Well now we're using it to our advantage. What movie is it?"

Tony frowns. "I have no idea. Do you know what all's playing?"

"Not a clue. What's all this about a kiss, though?"

"I have a feeling that my friends are not telling me something. I feel like Loki is going to make a move on me and they know it, or…" He sighs. "Something."

"Hmm…" Phil taps a finger on Tony's shoulder. "I have him and Miss Stacy second period for marine biology. Are those recording watch devices you were making ready?"

Tony looks up at him with a grin. He's been working on a way to spy on people during the school day (not really for any intended purpose, but he was bored), and he finally got them finished. Both of them are watches, and he's got everything ready to where he'll be able to put into both his and Phil's watches a recorder and volume controller.

"I'll have them ready by tomorrow morning. You been practicing your eavesdropping techniques?"

"Every second. Today is Wednesday."

"We'll finish the movie Friday night?"

"If you don't end up making any other plans."

"I won't."

Phil takes off his watch and shifts around to put it into Tony's jeans pocket. "Break?"

"Break!"

They spring apart, putting the room back together so that it doesn't even look like they were there. And still without words, Phil exits the house and Tony hurries up to his room to put the watch recorders into effect.

**XxX**

_October 4  
Thursday…_

Tony takes care the next morning to park in the back of the school so he can sneak into Phil's classroom to give him back his watch, giving him directions on how to use it before he heads out of the classroom to his locker.

"Hey, Tony!"

Tony turns to see Loki with Peter and Gwen, walking over with hair swishing around his neck and a bouncing step. "Oh, hi," he says, closing his locker swiftly. He doesn't care if _Loki_ sees that the inside is covered with pictures of cars, a mirror (mostly for Pepper's sake), and a list of the school's computer passwords so he can hack into the system…but he doesn't want Peter or Gwen to see it, because he doesn't want to answer any questions about it.

"The movie is at seven, so I suggest getting there at about six-forty-five to get the ticket and to seat ourselves and whatnot."

Tony nods once, wishing he was wearing his sunglasses today so he could roll his eyes. "Right, um, are you going to tell me what movie it is?"

Loki smiles. "No, because I'm afraid you won't come."

But, little does Loki know, Tony had Jarvis look up what movies were playing last night. "It's Brave, isn't it?"

Loki frowns. "I still expect you to come."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be there. Are you gonna…um…"

Loki gets the hint with an, "Oh, oh." He turns to Peter and Gwen. "I'm sure you've talked at least once, but this is Tony. Tony, Peter and Gwen.

Tony puts away his being a sarcastic bastard just long enough to give a polite wave and a "hi". They walk away when his usual three friends walk up, looking after them with questions in their eyes.

"I expect silence from all of you," Tony says to all of them, linking his arm with Bruce's (lord, no wonder people just assume Tony is crushing on Loki; Tony acts kind of gay without a second thought).

"Were we _going_ to say anything?" Pepper says with a tiny smirk.

"I certainly wasn't," Steve says, leaning against the lockers.

"I, on the other hand, elect to ignore that order," Bruce says, waving goodbye to Pepper and Steve as he steers Tony off to calculus. When they're well away, he continues: "Pepper and I saw Clint and Natasha when we were driving over here. She, uh…didn't look so hot."

Tony frowns, turning to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"It kind of looked like she got a taste of her own medicine. Bruised cheek and a cut across her forehead. Clint had his arm around her and looked ready for murder, but it didn't look like him who did it to her."

Tony lets go of Bruce so he doesn't crush his arm. "I think it was her dad."

"Really? How do you think?"

"One time, last year, Steve and I were at the mall. They were walking out from the theater having an argument at the top of their lungs, and he raised an arm to hit her before he remembered they were in a public place. He didn't actually hit her; just raised his arm. I don't think she saw me, but Steve had to hold me back a bit."

Bruce nods as they settle into their regular desk at the back of the room. Usually nerds like them like to sit up front, but seeing that _Tony_ is one of said nerds, they don't. "Alright, good grounds," he says. "Do you think Loki would know anything about it?"

"I doubt it. As far as I can tell he doesn't like his brother _or_ his friends, so there's not much of a chance he knows about her personal life."

"Well, maybe he does. Not her telling him stuff, but just overhearing it. I can't imagine he tunes it all out. I don't trust for a minute that he's really as sweet and innocent as he seems."

Tony grins over at Bruce. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And I love you too," he says, rolling his eyes heavenward, pulling out last nights homework.

"Ohh…" Tony says, staring down at it. "Homework…"

"Don't worry," Bruce says, pulling out a second worksheet, but blank. "You have enough time to copy down my answers."

"And this is why I love you," Tony says, setting around to work on that. "Sometimes I wonder how I pass anything with all the late or incomplete assignments I turn in."

"I think the teachers just like you. I mean, when every single thing they teach is ingrained into your memory, they're going to have _some_ respect for you."

"That's true. That's very, very true."

**XxX**

_October 4  
Thursday…_

Tony bangs open the chemistry classroom door. "Phil! How is it—Loki? Good lord, hi."

Of course Loki is there. Of course he's talking to Phil. Of course he is.

Loki looks at Tony with a start, then slowly back and forth between him and Phil (both of them awkwardly wide-eyed). "You're kidding," he finally says, his smile illegally bright, as usual. "This is Phil? Mr. Phil Coulson? The teacher of three million different science classes?"

"Um…" Tony looks around the room, confirming that nobody else is here. "No?"

Loki bursts into laughter. "Oh, no _wonder_ you didn't want to tell me about him! Are you two together? I mean, no, sorry, I shouldn't be asking that. You like 'Tasha anyway. Mr. Coulson, I've been reliably informed that you play the piano like a god."

Phil, with a poker face to rival Tony's fathers during a game of cards, looks from Loki to Tony. "Is that so?" he asks tonelessly.

Tony sighs, ducking his head. "He doesn't like Dead Poets Society, either."

That gets Phil's eyes to at least widen. "Blasphemy," he says politely.

"Okay, okay, I'll leave," Loki says, rolling his eyes heavenward. "I can take a hint. I may take it late, but I can take it." He gathers up his things. "Thank you, Mr. Coulson, for helping me with today's worksheet." He turns towards Tony and the door. "And thank _you_ for not being able to hold your tongue. Don't worry; my silver tongue is led when it comes to your secrets." He all but skips out of the room.

Tony stares after him for a few seconds longer, but when he does look at Phil, each of them burst into laughter so extensive that Tony sinks down to the floor and Phil leans against the nearest desk.

"I don't know why," Tony says, wiping tears from his eyes, "but I trust that he'll keep his mouth shut."

"So do I," Phil says, pulling Tony back up. "Now, about what you did to my watch. It's working perfectly, of course. We had a lab this last class, but they stopped talking anytime I was near, so I decided to put aside being as discrete as I could. I handed the watch to Miss Stacy and told her to tell me when it was five minutes before the bell would ring because I thought it was off and I needed to attend to some other things. And _guess who_ was the main topic of the conversation?"

Tony can't help but smile. "Brilliant. Let me hear it."

"That's the problem. I don't think I should. It's…note entirely what I think you want to hear."

Tony frowns. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, alright, you should hear it." He presses the necessary buttons on the watch to make the conversation between Loki and Gwen reply itself from when Phil began to catch it:

"_I just don't understand why we have to see BRAVE,"_ Gwen's voice says.

"_Because,"_ Loki's voice says. _"He's SUCH an uptight little wad of a nerd that just needs a new friend. I'm sure he'll hate it, but I just want him to go out and DO something. I like him, okay? He's beyond rude, but you know I'm used to that. Oh, oh, you should see his ROOM."_

She laughs. _"Yeah? How bad?"_

"_No, he wouldn't like me talking about it. But it's not as bad as you're thinking."_

"_What did you guys do again? All I remember is that you LOST SIX GAMES OF CHESS."_

"_Oh, come ON, Gwen! Don't take it so seriously!"_

"_Loki, do you have any idea how many times I've explained to you the rules and details of that game?!"_

"_I know, I know, it's just so BORING!"_

"_Well if Mary forces me to sit through the rules then you have to too! And HE seems to make it fun for you. You don't…" _She sighs, and then in a lower voice (low enough that it's hard to hear, but Phil just turns to volume up), _"Loki, the last guy you dated ended up in—and it wasn't your fault—a mental institution, and I don't see this guy going anywhere else after getting the highest possible grades in college. He may be brilliant, but geez, he's WEIRD."_

"_Good lord, Gwen, don't do that to me. I barely know the guy. 'Sides, nerd over here likes somebody else. No, no, don't give me that look. I don't have a clue who it is and I wouldn't tell you if I did. Now—"_

"_Wait, wait, five minutes till the bell. Mr. Coulson, your watch!"_

Phil turns the watch off, watching Tony closely.

"Well," Tony says quietly, not really sure what to say at all. He knows now that Loki is indeed gay, and he also heard that Loki did not in fact deny having a crush on Tony. "At least I know he really won't tell anybody anything when I tell him not to."

Phil gives a sort of not-smile. "Still going to that movie tonight?"

Tony sigh-laughs. "It's not _that_ bad, Phil. I just don't know if I'm going to be my usual jackass self now, or some shy bastard that should have stayed at home with his guns and robots."

"My advice? Go to the movie. I'm voting that you're going to be a bit unpleasant, so maybe he'll finally leave you alone."

Tony smirks. "You just don't like him because he doesn't like Dead Poets Society."

"Obviou—"

The bell rings.

"—sly. Can I delete this?"

"No, switch me watches until tomorrow." They do that before anybody comes in. "I want to copy this over. It might come in handy later."

"What if he finds it?"

"Then we're _both_ in trouble."

"That's what I'm worried about. Being in trouble with _you_."

Tony winks. "I got your back, Phil ole boy. Don't you worry your pretty little head."

* * *

End chapter authors notes: Right, so, Loki's insane asylum boyfriend? Yes, we get to hear _lots_ more from him. Not for a long while, but nonetheless.


	4. Theaters & Liars

**4: Theaters and Liars**

_October 4  
Thursday…_

When chess club is out, it's about four-thirty. If Tony's going to be at the theater at six-forty-five, he still has two hours and fifteen minutes, so he invites Bruce out on a sort of coffee date, meaning they go as friends but Tony is the only one to spend any money. That's what happens when your dad's a multi-billionaire. Or is it trillionaire? Tony doesn't even know anymore.

"So, what movie is he taking you to again?" Bruce asks, sipping at his black coffee. He and Tony are extremely boring when it comes to their drinks.

"Taking me?" Tony asks, setting his coffee down. "More like _dragging_ me. And it's…" He sighs. "_Brave_."

Bruce snorts, swallowing as soon as he can. "You mean the one with the girl that has gigantic red hair and shoots arrows?"

"Yeah, kind of like a Natasha/Katniss lovechild?"

"Um, ew, no, not what I was thinking. But…yes. What is it even about?"

"I have no idea. You know I hate previews. No movie trailers for Tony."

"Right, right, yeah. You know what we should do? Go see our own movie."

Tony smiles. "Yeah, we should. Are you busy tomorrow night?" Only after he says that does he remember he's supposed to have Phil over that night, so he's actually happy when Bruce says:

"No, my mom is having her boyfriend over and she wants me to meet him. I have no idea who he is, but I know that this is one of the longest relationships she's ever had. I'm hoping it's long because _she_ wants it to be, not because _he_ wants it to be."

"Yeah, good point. Want me over, too?" Empty question. Please be an empty question.

"No, no, I don't want to ruin it in case it really is something good—and you would _definitely_ ruin it."

Tony smirks, because he knows Bruce is totally right. "I'm free after my tournament on Saturday. Want to hang out then?"

"Oh, I just assumed Loki would pull you away."

"Nah, I'd much rather hang out with you."

"I don't know, he might force you along."

"Well…you could come with us?"

Bruce smirks. "Think I could pull you away long enough on Sunday?"

Tony sighs, letting himself sink deeper into his chair. "I've known this guy for four days and he's completely taking over my life without my consent. I wonder if he knows how rude that is. Yes, I will hang out with you on Sunday. Want to see Rock of Ages?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. We could invite Steve and Pepper, too."

"Good idea. Lord, I've barely done anything with you guys this week. I've been so busy dealing with Thor's little brother. What a menace."

"I honestly can't tell if you like the guy or not. I mean…as a person. I know you're straight."

"Well you're the first. He's okay. I mean, you know, he's kind of annoying, but he's alright. I decided that at first break today. I didn't like him at all yesterday, but…I don't know, he's trying, you know? He's sort of acting like a parent, but whatever."

"I thought you didn't like parental figures."

"No, but its nice having one so I can spite them sometimes."

Bruce chuckles, taking another drink from his coffee. "What time is the movie? I could go help you with whatever project you're on up in your room right now."

"Yeah, that'd be nice"

Bruce follows after Tony in his own car (a tiny little sports car painted metallic green with purple tired rims; they're B's favorite colors), both of them parking outside. Most people wouldn't leave anything so nice outside, but it doesn't really matter here. With such an expensive neighborhood nobody is crawling around trying to break in because they know that everybody has state of the art security systems.

"Wow," Bruce says, closing the door behind him and Tony, surveying the bedroom. "How did you get it so clean?"

Tony manages to hold his laughter in. It's the exact same as it was when Loki was over, commenting on how much of a mess it was. It must be a nerdy chess player's thing to have messy bedrooms, because Bruce's room is just like Tony's in the sense that it's cluttered with all sorts of weird experiments. His room is about four thousand times smaller, but still.

"Yeah, I botched a couple of ideas last weekend," Tony says. "The trash has already been taken out, so you can't go digging through it to see if you need anything. Sorry, I was in a weird mood and I wasn't thinking very straight."

"No, no, that's totally fine."

"Is it safe to say that you'd like the usual playlist, sirs?" Jarvis asks as Tony leads Bruce over to his farthest along project. He likes finishing things, he just usually never gets that far.

"Yes, please and thank you," Bruce says, leaning against the desk.

The seniors lose themselves completely, Black Sabbath and the like blaring through the room as they tinker around and laugh when they drop glass beakers that are so reinforced they don't break. And hell, Tony even kisses Bruce on the cheek when they manage to finish it in an hour and a half because he's just so excited.

"Damn," Tony says, looking down at himself. Sweaty and greasy with oil.

"You have twenty minutes," Bruce says. "I'll clean up. Bring everything you need into the bathroom so you don't have to come back up here."

Tony nods, grabbing a towel and clothes and his backpack before he rushes down to the bathroom a floor below him. That's the only problem he has with having his room in the attic…the bathroom isn't close enough.

He takes five minutes in the shower and six minutes to get dressed (that includes doing his hair and grabbing his wallet and keys from the pants he used to be wearing and the phone from his backpack), then he just leaves everything in the bathroom as he rushes outside to his car. It doesn't matter that he just leaves it there since nobody is ever up that high anyway, and he always cleans it out by the next morning. Well…maybe not always.

Bruce's car is still out there, which doesn't surprise Tony at all. And the window up in his room actually overlooks the front yard, but since the curtain is always there he doesn't bother to turn around and see if he can see Bruce to wave at him. Leaping into his car he speeds off to the mall where the theater is connected to.

He gets there at six-fifty, but that's alright. Why would he need to be fifteen minutes early to a movie anyway? He doesn't even like previews. Once parked and inside, he spots Loki and Gwen already standing in the line. It's long. Lovely.

He walks right up to them, standing beside Loki. "Miss me?" he asks without looking up, twiddling away on his phone.

Loki elbows him, but says nothing as he finishes his conversation with Gwen. _Then_ he looks down at Tony. "I'm glad you came. I thought you were going to skip out on us."

"I almost did," Tony says. "I had twenty minutes to shower, dress, and drive over here."

The taller boy grins. "Is that why your shirt is inside out?"

Tony looks down at his t-shirt to see that, yes, it's inside out. "Great," he mutters. "I really don't want to wear my sweatshirt, either."

"Just go switch it out in the bathroom," Gwen says.

"No, I'll do it here."

Even as they're questioning his sanity he switches his shirt out, doing it fast enough that he only gets about three odd looks, tops.

"There," he says, waving Loki and Gwen quiet. "Piece of cake. Loki, do you like watches?" Not exactly the subtlest way of doing things, but Tony's not very good at that anyway.

Loki shrugs. "I've never had one."

"Well here, then," he says, handing out his secret recorder one. He feels like an ass for doing this, but that's just what he does. Bruce has one, too, and he wears it every day. Steve has one and usually forgets it on his nightstand, and Pepper has a watch locket that she wears around her neck whenever it matches even a bit. Steve is the only one that knows it records things, which is why he usually forgets it.

Tony doesn't do it to spy, though. It's an emergency thing, in case something happens to them. With the recordings being sent wirelessly back to a box in Tony's bedroom, if anything ever goes wrong he can go through and see what they've been doing and saying. It saved Pepper life, when she got hit by a car when she was riding a bike in freshman year, and Tony has been able to find Steve after being beat up a few times. It hasn't helped Bruce yet, but that doesn't mean it's never going to, so every time that Tony sees a tan line on his wrist from the watch he smiles. Hopefully it will help Loki in the same way.

"Oh look, we're up!" He pays for his own ticket and Gwen goes next while Loki is putting the watch on, Tony pulling Loki's wallet out of his pocket and getting his ticket for him while Gwen helps him put it on since he's still having trouble.

"That actually looks really good on you," Gwen says as they all go in to get candy, popcorn, and drinks.

Loki smiles. "Good. I'll keep it, then." He looks over at Tony. "Thanks."

Tony grins, trying to make sure it doesn't look guilty at all. "Yeah, anytime."

After buying food that's even too expensive for Tony's taste, Tony then has to force himself through an entire set of movie trailers, slumped into his chair so far that the top of his head is level with Loki's shoulder, his knees bent up so that the soles of his Converse are pressing against the back of the chair in front of him.

Every time a preview is over, Loki and Gwen say something about seeing it when it comes out. Something like "Ooh, that looks good" or "Peter will want to see that with us" and "Oh my gosh I can't believe they're making that into a movie". But every time Tony simply whispers, "That looks dumb." And every time Loki elbows him in the arm.

Finally the movie starts, and Tony does his absolute best to actually appreciate it. He really does. But he just can't. His favorite movies are things like The Deep Blue Sea, Archipelago, 7 Pounds, Expelled, and 2001: Space Odyssey. The most action-packed thing he likes to watch is Star Trek, because who doesn't like Star Trek?

He finds himself falling asleep, actually, and the only thing that snaps him awake is when Loki slings an arm over his shoulder and leans down to his ear: "You know," he whispers, "You'd probably stay awake easier if you were sitting up straight."

Tony sighs. "But it's _boring_."

"Boring? No, it's too _exciting_ for you; that's the problem. I watched one of the movies you mentioned on Monday. Archipelago? Very boring. I mean, good lord. If you sit up I'll play a single game of I Spy with you."

Tony sits up. "You'll what?"

Loki smirks, removing his arm but leaning in closer to Tony's ear. "I Spy with my little eyes, somewhere in this theater, Clint and Natasha."

Tony sits up even straighter, and Loki smirks.

"Good luck," he says, sitting back up again.

Tony literally doesn't find them for thirty minutes. It doesn't much surprise him, though, seeing that it's dark and Tony's eyesight stinks.

"Did you know they were here before we came?" Tony whispers into Loki's ear.

Loki turns to him to whisper back, "Nope. Thor'd be here too, but he's golfing with dad."

Tony snorts a lot louder than polite, earning a few looks. "He _golf's_?"

"He's really strong and he likes swinging things, so he tried it out in freshman year. Now shush, _I'm_ actually watching this."

Tony slumps back into his chair.

Ten minutes before the credits roll (and Tony knows, because he checked how long everything was so he'd know how long he had to be in hell), Tony keeping up a steady string of trying not to fall asleep, watching Clint and Natasha closer to the front, and glancing at the screen every few minutes, Natasha leaps up and literally sprints out of the theater.

Tony stares after her (as many others are doing as well), but the movement of Clint getting up with a completely confused face draws his attention back to him. The guy jogs out after her, concern and confusion lining his face so terribly that Tony starts to stand to go after them both.

But Loki grabs so tightly onto his hand that it actually kind of hurts, and he slams his ass back onto his chair. He gives the green-eyed man a glare, but Loki just shakes his head. "Whatever it is, you'll just make it worse," he whispers. "You don't want to concern yourself with it."

Tony gives a nasty sigh, sinking the deepest yet into his chair.

The ten minutes pass slower than anything Tony feels like he's ever had to sit through, and the instant that the lights come on brighter he leaps up and heads out of the theater into the main room. Of course neither of Tony's enemies are in sight. Tony wouldn't have stayed either.

Loki comes up behind him, and hand on Tony's back. "Gwen's in the bathroom," he says. "I'll never understand why you have a crush on the girl that beats you up all the time."

"I won't either," Tony says, stepping away from Loki's hand. He knows Loki probably doesn't actually _like_ him, but now that he knows the taller man is gay, it doesn't feel like a simple friendly gesture. "Except for the fact that she's beautiful and if I ever get her I'll never have to be afraid of getting beat up again. Kind of a nice thought, you know?"

"How much do you even actually _know_ about her?"

"I know where she lives, I know she's the most flexible person I've ever seen, and I know that she has an abusive dad."

That gets Loki to really stare down at him. "How do you know about _that_?"

"Saw her and her dad in public one time. Thankfully I was with Steve or I would have gotten my ass kicked trying to help her out. Is that why she knows how to fight so well? Because she wanted to be able to fight back?"

Loki shrugs. "I don't know."

"Liar."

He sighs, averting his eyes. "Yes. Her mom had her in three different offence and self-defense classes by the time she was six years old, and she was in them until she was fourteen, among about eight million other classes. She'd still be in them now, but that's when her mom left, so she had no one to pay for them for her."

Tony's fists clench up. "Is every family around here fucked up?" he whispers. "My dad is always too busy for me, Steve's dad is dead and his mom is always in the hospital, Bruce's parents got a divorce and he hasn't seen his dad since he was four, Pepper lives with her grandparents because her own parents died in a plane crash, and then your family…well, your dad doesn't want you and your mom doesn't care enough."

Loki nods, a sad look on his face. "Peter and Clint live with their aunt and uncles, P because his parents went missing years ago and C because both of his parents are in jail—hell, his dad's in jail out in _Germany_. Gwen is the only one with a normal family. They still celebrate mother's and father's day like a good old fashioned family."

Tony nods, not really sure what else to say after that. Which is fine, because that's when Gwen comes back.

"Sorry," she says. "The line was like hell in there. Do you guys want to go out to dinner, too? Red Robin's really close."

Loki speaks before Tony declines: "No, Tony invited me over for pizza. Tell Peter he still owes me, will you?"

She nods, pushing up on her tiptoes for Loki to kiss her on the cheek. "See you tomorrow, boys," she says, waving her fingers at them as she strides out.

Tony glares up at Loki, forcing himself not to say anything. He just looks away and walks out of the building to the outside world.

"Hey," Loki says, grabbing his hand again. "Do you want to go to Red Robin with me?"

Tony halts and looks up at him, face passed incredulous. "Did you—are you—why—NO!"

Loki smiles, pulling Tony after him and outside the rest of the way. "We'll walk over there, and then you can drive me home. How about that?"

"Dammit, Loki!" Tony yells, pulling his hand from Loki's. "Would you _stop_ that?"

Loki frowns. "Stop what?"

"I met you four fucking days ago and you're acting like we're best friends or something. You invite yourself over to my house to play chess, you make fun of my favorite movies, and you all but force me to come to the theater with you and your _actual_ best friend's girlfriend. Just because you saved me a few more minutes from a 'public pumblin' from _your_ brother makes you think you can boss me around like I'm your bitch or something? Well _think again_ because I'm getting tired of your shit! Under_stand_, Loki Laufeygard?"

Loki blinks at him for about ten seconds. "So are we going to dinner or not? Their cheese sticks are to die for."

Tony doesn't want it to, but his jaw drops. He holds up a finger to Loki to wait for a reply, slowly unties his sweatshirt from his waist, balls it up, shoves it into his face, and screams. Then he politely unfolds it, puts it on, and zips it up. "Yeah," he says, letting out a deep breath. "Let's go eat some of those cheese sticks."

They make their way in silence across the parking lot to Red Robin, telling the lady inside they'll need a spot for two. They're seated in one of those tiny booths, across from each other and with no room for their legs but to all but tangle them with the legs across from them.

"I'll pay, if that makes you feel any better," Loki says, looking across the table at Tony. "My family's generally high end as well. Not as much as yours, but nobody is around here."

Tony glares over the menu at him. "No, I'm fine paying for myself."

A waitress comes over and takes their drink orders, both seniors just getting cokes (Tony accidentally almost asked for a beer, but Loki kicked him under the table in time. Obviously Tony doesn't go out to places where he sits down like this very often).

"Do you know what you're going to get?" Loki asks when she's gone.

"I'm not even that hungry," Tony says, scanning the menu briefly. He's not really feelin' a hamburger right now. "I sort of just want some fries or whatever." It does surprised Tony that he's not very hungry, though—especially after working on projects with Bruce for the last two hours without any breaks.

"Oh good, I'm not very hungry either. Movies just make me tired. How's your coke?"

"I haven't even had any yet," Tony says, reaching across for it. He starts to suck in n the straw, but stops when nothing comes up. He pulls it back to look at it and ends up just blinking a moment when he realizes that his straw has been stuffed with a red crayon to match the red straw.

Loki bursts into quiet fits of laughter, covering his mouth and squeezing his eyes shut. "You fell for it," he giggles, pulling the straw out of Tony's glass and the crayon from where it was stuffed into said straw. "I have not been able to get somebody with that joke in _ages_. Everyone I hang out with knows about it!" He giggles again, giving Tony his own straw so it's not covered in little crusty crayon parts.

Tony blinks up at him a moment, too. "Where did you even get that?" he asks eventually, inspecting his new straw before taking a sip of his coke. Yes, it's good.

"Nicked it from the front counter," he says, producing a small, clear plastic pack of two other blue and yellow crayons. There's an opening for the red, which is where he shoves said crayon back in. "They have them for the kid's menus."

Tony shakes his head in both mock and real disappointment, mock at Loki and real for himself because he actually fell for it. "First you scare me with a simple 'boo', now I'm drinking from a crayon. What's next on your agenda?"

Loki gives an innocent look and a one-shouldered shrug. "Well I can't tell you, obviously."

"Careful, man," Tony says, giving him a pointed look. "There are guns _all_ over my house, and I will not care if they happen to be trained on _you_."

Loki just sticks his tongue out.

The waitress comes back and they simply order a five piece order of cheese sticks and a basket of French fries. Well, actually, Loki asks if they'll bring out a hot fudge sundae at the end, but Tony doesn't get anything else.

"So much for dinner," Tony chuckles, sipping his coke dry. He pushes it towards the edge of the table so the waitress will grab and refill it.

"No, so much for a _healthy_ dinner," Loki corrects, doing the same with his own. "Are you not a big fan of dessert?"

"No, I love the stuff. I'm just not really feelin' any food right now… I don't know, I'm just really not hungry at all. Must have been the movie that made me lose my appetite."

Loki rolls his eyes heavenward, setting his elbows on the table with woven fingers and resting his chin on the fingers. "What were you doing before the movie?"

"Nothing much. Bruce was over, and we spent two hours putting together some of the things strewn around my room. That's why I was a few minutes late, actually. I had to shower because I was covered in oil and sweat. Fun stuff."

Loki nods, watching Tony way too closely. The watch conversation floats through his head, and he leans back in his booth-chair thing so that he's as far away from Loki as he can be. "Bruce is the one that wears glasses, right?"

Tony nods. "He's the one in chess club with me. We're nerds together."

"Is he your best friend, then?"

"Best friend? No. Steve is."

Loki tilts his head slightly. "Oh? You seem to get along better with Bruce than with him…"

"Well, other than the fact that I've known Steve for the longest… Actually, that's mostly it. He's really not my type in any way or form. He doesn't cuss, doesn't drink…hell, he's never broken the law _once_. That means he's never jay-walked before. That is a lot of pointless crosswalks, let me tell you! I think it would be Bruce if I had met them all at once, but maybe not, because Pepper gets along with Bruce a little better than she does with Steve. And, hey, Bruce is a lot like me in ways that I sometimes hate about myself. You know, chess and robots and video games. He's never beaten me at chess, but sometimes he puts something together better than I do and I can't stand it. He gets a lot of better grades than me, which really shouldn't bother me, but it totally does…and I mean it _really_ shouldn't bother me, because he lets me copy off of his papers all the time. But Steve is a caveman when it comes to technology, and I love getting to explain to somebody how something works! I can't do that at home very often because both of my parents know all about everything. When I'm at school, though, Bruce knows what I'm talking about, Pepper doesn't care, but Steve…" he chuckles. "Steve wants to know all about everything, but he doesn't have the brains for it. I just love training his brains for it, you know?"

Loki nods, a bright smile on his lips.

That's when Tony realizes what all has just happened. "Dick," he grumbles, looking around for the waitress to refill their fucking cokes already.

"Whatever for?" Loki asks, innocent all over his face.

"You did that on purpose."

"Did what on purpose?"

"Got me talking! You asked all the right questions and got me talking about the things I enjoy the most. I don't like it."

"I'll stop if you'd like me to."

"Yes! Stop it, dammit. I don't need any _new friends_." Tony hopes that Loki gets what he means at the same time that he doesn't.

He's not really sure if he does or not, because Loki gives him an odd little look. But the waitress comes back before he can say anything, setting down cheese sticks and fries. "And I'll refill those cokes for you!" she says brightly, taking the glasses back with her.

"Here, here," Loki says, putting two cheese sticks onto a plate and pushing it over to Tony. "First try a bite with it plain, then try it in the marinara sauce."

Tony complies with a shrug. And, yeah, hell, they are _really_ good. "I think I like them better without the sauce," Tony says, finishing the three inch stick of fried breading filled with melted mozzarella cheese without said red substance.

"But you do like them?" Loki asks, swallowing his own bite of the food.

"Yes," Tony says, grabbing his second one. "Yes I do."

Loki grins, pulling out the fifth one. "More sauce for me!" He cuts it in half. "Here," he says, setting it on Tony's plate. "We'll split the last one. How are we going to split this bill up, anyway?"

"You get the sundae, and we'll split the costs of the cheese sticks and fries in half."

"That was an easier answer than expected."

"I'm in Calculus. What did you expect? A half-assed 'I don't want to think about it so you can just pay for us both'? No thank you."

Loki smiles only just, taking some French fries.

They eat in silence, just savoring the flavors, and the waitress brings Loki's sundae towards the end.

"Do you like these cherry things?" he asks, holding it out to Tony by the stem. "Because I don't."

"Yes," Tony says, snatching it away to eat. "I do."

"And do you want a bite of the good stuff?" he asks, holding out a spoonful of ice cream.

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "No, I'm pretty full now."

"You sure? It's goooood."

"Have you even taken a bite yet?"

"You know," he says, taking the bite for himself, "for such a nerd, you aren't very observant. This is like, my fifth bite."

"What? No it's not! No way."

He smirks, taking another bite. "It is now."

"Oh _fine_, give me a fucking spoonful."

"Stop cussing and you can have one."

"Then I guess I won't have one."

"No, that was good! An entire sentence without the F-word. I shall reward you."

He holds out another spoonful of ice cream, and Tony rolls his eyes before leaning forward and just taking the bite off the spoon, way too lazy to take the metal utensil in his hands. When he sees a group of girls is giving him and Loki weird looks, though, he realizes how stupid of an idea that was.

"You should hurry up," he mutters, waving to the waitress for the bill. When she's set it down and gone off again, Loki is still eating just as slow.

"Why should I?" he asks.

Tony just tells him, because whatever, and he hopes he doesn't offend the guy any: "Because there's this group of chicks over there giving us really weird looks and I think they think we're gay which is just fine with me but I happen to be straight and I'm sort of famous around here and I really don't need the rumors since I probably go to school with half of them."

Loki blinks at him for about five seconds before nodding and finishing off his ice cream a lot faster. Tony splits the bill up how he said they should with just glancing at all of the numbers once, pulling out some bills. Loki does the same as he's taking his last bite of ice cream, and yes, Tony definitely tries to take a peek into his wallet.

"Don't hurt yourself," he says, grinning as he totally catches the son of a genius billionaire being totally not subtle. "Here, have fun." He tosses it across the table and into Tony's lap, and hey, Tony's not going to pass up an opportunity like this.

There's a license even though he doesn't have a car (and good lord, how do you manage to actually look attractive in one of these pictures?), a MasterCard that expires next month, a couple of gift cards to stores in the mall (including Victoria's Secret, which Tony is just going to ignore), about eighty dollars (a lot for anyone other than Tony), and finally a small little picture of…

"Good lord," Tony says, pulling it out to look closer at it. "Are all these people—?"

"Nat, Thor, Clint, and I?" Loki says. "Yes. That was the first picture ever taken of all four of us…six years ago. We're eleven. Well, Thor is twelve, but whatever."

Tony can't help but chuckle. He honestly can't. Thor is adorable, his hair just as long as it is now, but it's in a braid that's draped over his shoulder. His cheeks are fat and his blue eyes are shining so brightly that Tony knows he's probably going to laugh the next time Thor is punching him in the face. Loki is cute too, his hair cut short and his teeth biting onto his bottom lip and his hands held behind his back. Clint is in just swim trunks and his holding an arrow he must have strung together with sticks and leaves (geez, what is it with this guy and weapons? Tony knows he keeps three different sized knives in his backpack or on him at all times even though it's illegal, and who _knows_ what else he has at home). And Natasha…damn, she was a _cute_ pre-teen. She's sitting on top of Thor's shoulders (even at that age he was strong as an ox), arms held up with fists and her mouth open in a very wide and somewhat awkward smile.

"I'll never look at them the same again," Tony says.

"Thor's cute isn't he?" Loki asks, and then the waitress comes back, and Tony sees him hand her a Red Robin rewards card.

"Adorable," Tony says, handing him his wallet back.

"Do you have any pictures in yours?" he asks.

"I can't remember." He opens his own wallet, not ready for Loki reaching across and snatching it out of his hands.

"Wow, way more money than I have," he says, thumbing through it. "Expected, of course. A credit card, a license with a picture you somehow managed to look good in,"—(really? Tony thinks he looks horrible)—a Game Stop gift card, a Blockbuster gift card, a—ooh, one for Baskin Robins! You're going to have to take me there, because I _really_ like ice cream. Oh, oh, you _do_ have a picture in here!"

The waitress comes back with the rewards card, and as soon as he's put it back into his wallet he stands, handing Tony his wallet back while he still looks over the picture. "You and Pepper?" he asks.

Tony nods, snatching it back. "It was the first concert I ever went to. Black Sabbath. She went with me because Steve can't stand their music, Bruce was busy, and I didn't want to go alone. She doesn't like them very much, but she knows how much I _do_ like them, so she didn't mind. Some guy offered to take that with the camera Pepper brought along." He shoves it back into his wallet. "I forgot that I kept it in here."

"See?" Loki says with a grin. "I dragged you in here for a reason. Memories. Now, I really have to pee, so I'll meet you—"

"No, I have to go, too."

Tony has never felt more awkward while going to the bathroom with someone in his entire life. To Loki's credit, though, he doesn't actually glance over or anything. Tony definitely watches his face out of the corner of his eye to make sure.

"So," Loki says, leaning against the top of Tony's Audi. "Are you going to invite me over to your house for a game of chess, or do I have to invite myself again?"

Tony blinks over the car at him. "What? Now? It's going to be past your bedtime soon!"

"Then take me home before then."

Tony grumbles unintelligibly as he gets into the car, Loki sitting with a smug look on his face.

"_One_ game," Tony says. "Don't push it."

"Three?" Loki asks, totally pushing it.

"I'll settle for two."

Loki smiles. "Hurry up, then. You think I'm demanding now, you should see me when I'm tired."

Tony's pretty sure he doesn't want to see that.

And he doesn't, because he gets Loki home just in time, thank goodness. The only problem? They didn't play two games. They played four. Tony is going to kill this guy one day.

* * *

Ending chapter authors notes: 1. Excuse me while I advertize Red Robin in basically every single one of my fics. Like...it's my favorite restaurant, okay? Give me a break. Also I say "don't hurt yourself" in every single one of them as well… I have been saying that for so long, now :P

2. I don't actually listen to Black Sabbath except for one song ("Iron Man", conveniently), so basically any information I have of them is made up. I have no idea if they've even had any concerts (I'm sure they have; what band hasn't?) and if/when they did what years they were, so bare with me here.


	5. Chapter 5 (too long lol)

**5: The Problem with Nicknames and the Trouble with Breathing**

_October 5  
Friday…_

The next day, Tony goes straight to Phil's office to tell him how it went, making sure he doesn't punch his teacher/second father in the face when he laughs so hard that he cries. Then he gets to tell all three of his friends what happened again during lunch, but he definitely skips everything about Red Robin and after.

That, though, is completely useless by Tony's own personal pocket devil…

"Heyuh, Tone," Loki says, plopping down beside him like he always does. "Tell 'em about dinner last night?"

"Dinner?" all three of Steve, Bruce, and Pepper say before Tony can cover it up.

He glares at Loki, who gives a very sheepish look. "Ohh, secret. I'll leave you to this one, then."

"Ohh no you don't!" Tony says, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back down. "_You're_ going to endure this _with_ me."

The taller senior has the audacity to smile. "Oh good, I'll be able to make sure you get all of the facts right!"

Tony rolls his eyes, turning back to two very tuned-in looking friends and one bored looking one. Yeah, another reason Tony likes Steve best: he's never really been much of a gossip. And considering who Tony is, no gossip is a good way to live.

"He _lied_ to his best friends' girlfriend, actually," Tony begins, ignoring the frown Loki gives him. "She invited us over to Red Robin, but he up and tells her that I've already invited him over for pizza! Then when she's _gone_ he invites me over to the place himself! So we had cheese sticks, fries, and he gave me some of his sundae. No it was not a _date_; we even split the bill. Problem is, I'm pretty sure a group of girls that go to our school saw us and thought it _was_ one. So if anybody asks, I'm still straight."

Pepper smiles brightly. "Aaaand?"

Tony frowns. "What more do you want?"

"_I'll_ tell you," Loki says, elbowing Tony lightly as he leans closer to the others. "I invited myself over-slash-he invited me over to his place and I lost horribly to four games of chess before he took me home."

"_That's_ what we were waiting to hear," Bruce says, giving Tony a grin. Then he turns to Loki. "If you ever win a game, tell me—even if you win by cheating. I've tried on more than once occasion and he _still_ beats me."

Tony can't help but grin. "You know you love me."

"As do the rest of us," Steve says, resting a hand on Tony's shoulder. "Are you ready for your match tomorrow?"

"Would it matter if I wasn't?" Tony says, leaning into the touch. Totally still straight. "I'd win anyway."

"You know, one of these days," Steve says with a grin twice as big as his face, "somebody is going to beat you, and I hope I'm there to see it."

"Right," Tony says, rolling his eyes. "_One_ of these days. And when that day comes, I hope I'm fast asleep."

"On a different topic," Loki says, snagging some food off of Tony's tray (Tony lets him, because whatever), "I have a question for Miss Potts."

"No, no, I hate it when people call me that," she says, flitting her hand at him. "What is it?"

He presses his lips into a soft line before speaking again: "Is your name really Pepper?"

All of her and the other three men at the table laugh. "No way," she says, flicking at Tony's temple as he mimics the pouring of pepper from a shaker. "It's Virginia. Pepper is just a nickname that Tony gave me because of my freckles."

"Oh _I_ see!" Loki says brightly. "Brilliant. The only names I get other than my own are Lo'"—he and Tony definitely do not share a look, nope, not at all—"and Mellow."

They all blink at him. "Mellow?" Bruce asks.

"Yeah, because I always keep everything pretty _low key_."

The other four stare at him for about five seconds before bursting into loud, horribly obnoxious laughter. The entire cafeteria glances over at them, and one-fifth of them keep staring.

"Well, looks like I've done my job," Loki says, standing with a completely straight face.

"No, no," Tony says, tray pushed out of the way so he can lie against the table top.

"You have to stay," Steve says, leaning sideways against Tony.

"We haven't all laughed this hard in weeks," Bruce gasps out, supporting a still-laughing-too-hard-to-speak Pepper.

Loki grins, sitting back down. "I was being one-hundred percent serious, you know. You all look ridiculous. It wasn't _that_ funny."

"Nicknames!" Pepper wheezes, pushing off of Bruce. "We want them too! Go!"

"What? You mean make up stuff for you? Just by your names? Right now?"

"Dooo iiiit," Tony says, slinging an arm around Steve's shoulders so they can both sit up properly as well.

"No, no, I can't. I'm horrible at giving people nicknames. It's not like I made those ones up for myself or anything. Clint was the one that created 'Mellow'. You'll have to ask him."

Steve snorts. "Ask Clint for nicknames? Yeah, right. He knows that I like to do the musicals and plays when I'm not out shooting, so he'll call be the Shrunken Circus Monkey."

Bruce nods, frowning slightly. "Yeah, and I'd be Nerd Nation, because my last name is Banner and that's sort of another name for a flag."

"I'll be the Virgin Salt," Pepper says, shoulders slumping.

"He already calls me Mop Top because of the time he pushed me into a supply closet and a wet mop flung around and landed on the top of my head," Tony mutters.

Loki stares at them awkwardly. "And this is why I should have just left," he says quietly. "I'm sorry I ruined the high."

"No, it's alright," Pepper says. "'Thee who starts it shall finish it' and all that jazz."

He bites his bottom lip, which makes Tony think of the picture of him when he was eleven. "If it will make you guys feel any better, I can tell you what _their_ nicknames are…"

They all turn to him, and he takes that as a yes:

"When it's just them they call Thor the Thunderer because he's so loud without even trying to be. Clint is Hawkeye because of his incredible aim and eyesight, and also because he really likes to go hunting. His uncle takes him when he can,"—(Tony is the only one that sees the deeper meaning in that; it has to be his uncle who takes him since his dad is in jail)—"which is basically never, but that doesn't stop Clint from going out into the back yard or something. Natasha is Black Widow because…actually, I don't even know why exactly. It might be because her favorite species are arachnids—specifically poisonous spiders—but it also might be because she's the most flexible person you will ever meet and she can climb absolutely anything that she wants to. She did gymnastics, among other things, as a child."

"Do _you_ call them anything when they're not listening?" Bruce asks.

Loki gives a very shy smile. "Not really. They know I call Natasha 'Nat', and when I'm feeling particularly daring I caller her 'Tasha like Clint does. But I don't really have anything I call them that they don't know about, or even anything they disapprove of. Well…I called Thor 'the Great Oaf' as a child, but that was just one year that he reminded me of Hagrid."

"From Harry Potter?" Steve asks.

"Yeah, the nickname that Draco gave him."

The bell rings.

"Convenient," Tony says as the five of them stand.

"Hey Loki," Bruce says. "You should come to Tony's chess tournament tomorrow."

Loki grins. "I'm already going. Gwen brings Peter and me."

"But why does _she_ go?" Tony asks.

"I told you before, she's got a friend that plays."

"Oh? Who?"

"Some girl from a different school."

"Girl?" Tony asks, looking at him. "I thought her friend was a guy all this time."

"Nah, she doesn't hang out with very many guys. Just me and Peter. Other than that it's strictly females."

"Probably a good thing," Pepper says, linking her arm with Steve's since they have their next classes in the same direction.

"Yeah," Steve says. "Parker'd probably deck 'em."

"Probably not," Loki shrugs. "He's not really the jealous type. More the quiet, accepting everything sort of person. He'd just stay quietly jealous unless she was in actual danger. He'd stand up for her if somebody got too close to her physically, as well. Romantic physical, anyway."

"You kissed her on the cheek last night, though," Tony says.

Loki grimaces slightly. "That's a long story."

"Yeah? Tell me about it later."

"Oh, no, it's kind of a secret of mine…"

Tony knows what he means right away. "Ohh…" he says, nodding. He gave Phil's watch back this morning, having taken off the recording after getting back from dropping Loki off. "You should tell me anyway."

He ducks his head. "Maybe some other time?"

"I'll hold you to that."

"I know you will."

The five of them all head off to their separate classes.

Later that day, Bruce and Tony discuss going to see Rock of Ages. They invite Steve and Pepper, too, who are happy to come. So they'll all be meeting at the mall cinema at eleven-thirty in the morning on Sunday to make the eleven-forty movie.

Phil goes over to Tony's place that night to grade some papers, and afterwards they finish their movie, talking with Jarvis during most of it about nothing in particular (AKA Loki) since they've seen it so many times. Then Phil makes Tony go to bed because he has to be up generally early for the tournament, scuffing up the high school kid's hair before he drives himself home.

**XxX**

_October 6  
Saturday…_

Tony parks in his usual spot reserved for players in the back of the gym (wherein all the county chess tournaments are played every other Saturday). He comes in smelling like stale alcohol, which shouldn't really surprise anyone. Most of the players here know Tony well enough that they know that he drinks, and the ones that don't think _he_ think that it's because his parents do and it just lingers around him.

He finds Phil in the crowd first and shares waves with him before he looks for his other two friends (just Pepper and Bruce, since Steve is out with that Bucky guy), who are already waving at him from up in the stands. He smile brightly and waves back before sticking his tongue out at Bruce, who doesn't do the tournaments partly because he doesn't think he's good enough and partly because he'd just rather watch. He only joined chess club because Tony asked him too, anyway, which is just fine. Next he scans for Loki, and it both surprises him and doesn't when he sees that him, Peter, and Gwen are all sitting beside Tony's other friends.

Loki waves brightly at him at the same time that, very inconspicuously, motions to the right (Tony's left) with his head. Tony's eyes follow the motion until they land on his three favorite people in the entire world: the Thunderer, Black Widow, and Hawkeye, all staring at him like they're ready to murder. Not as much Natasha, though…she's leaning against Clint not like he's her boyfriend, but just like she's too tired for this. She must still be sick or something…

Since the tournament doesn't start for a few more minutes, Tony pulls out his cell phone and scrolls through his contacts until he comes to Loki's, thanking whatever gods are out there that he let the guy actually put his number in.

**You're gonna have to protect my friends and I when this is over**, he texts. Yes, he uses correct grammar and complete sentences. Nobody ever believes him when they ask about it.

He watches Loki, waiting for the taller man to look down at his pocket. When he does he pulls out his phone (old school flip phone for the win) and pecks away at the keys. When he sets it down in his lap and looks up at Tony, Tony looks down at his own phone to wait for the message.

**That was my plan, of course. You'll be safe with me around.**

Of course Loki is the type of person to text with perfect spelling and grammar, too. He's probably never spelt something wrong in his life.

Tony is about to text back (with what, he's not sure), but that's when the bell dings for the players to seat themselves and begin their games. They all usually start in their own times, pressing the timer beside each board to start the games and time how long it takes for each player to make a move.

He pockets his phone and sits down in the seat he was assigned to for the first game, somewhat surprised when a girl (probably a junior) sits down across from him. Her long red hair is pulled up into a tight ponytail, and she's dressed in a tight pink v-neck and a green pencil skirt, with sandy colored wedge heels. It's weird enough that Tony's playing a girl (not many play chess around here, or at least many who actually play tournaments—and especially not many who are good enough to play Tony, since there are specific levels you play at), but a girl that doesn't look one ounce of nerdy is just weird.

"Tony Stark," he says, holding a hand out to her (tournament etiquette, though he'd rather just start the game).

"Mary Jane Watson," she says, shaking his hand.

And the game begins.

Tony has enough decorum to let himself only barely win, but when he plays his other two games against guys he blows them out of the water. The end comes and he's announced the winner, his trophy being thrust into his hands as the speaker congratulates him. Tony just blinks at her, because he knows that she doesn't give a shit about him anymore. She was thrilled the first three times, but…well, this is his ninetieth time, anyway. Tony'd be sick of his attitude, too.

He texts Phil as he makes his way straight up to Bruce and the others: **So who was the cutest girl playin' today?**

Then he pockets his phone and smiles brightly at his friends.

"I'd congratulate you," Pepper says, resting a hand on his shoulder, "but you'd just blow it off."

"Don't mean to interrupt this," Loki says, poking his head into their little circle (Gwen and Peter are already down with Gwen's friend, and Tony isn't at all surprised to see that it's that Mary Jane girl), "but you guys might want to brace yourselves. He looks specifically at T. "And _don't talk_."

That's when they all turn to see Thor, Natasha, and Clint taking their last steps to stand in front of them, most everyone in the bleachers down on the actual floor, so they have plenty of room.

"Don't even think about it," Loki says, crossing his arms. "You know if you guys get into a fight at school again you'll be suspended for a month, _remember_? Natasha, your father will kill you."

Natasha glowers, but there's not near as much malice in it as usual. It's more of a grimace. "I don't give a _damn_ what he thinks."

"We know you don't," Clint whispers, wrapping an arm around her waist. "It's what he _does_ that you should care about."

"I don't give a fuck, Clint," she says, pushing away from him.

"Nonetheless," Loki says, "go pick on someone your own size. Thor, you're bigger than all of them combined."

Thor glares across at him. They're actually very similar in height. "Do not get in my way, brother. You know what happens when I am angry."

"Yeah?" Loki says, stepping forward so that his nose is nearly pressed against the blondes. "Remember what happens when _I_ get angry?"

Thor actually takes a step back, looking somewhat…good lord, he actually looks kind of scared. "I do not like it when you are not on my side," he says, eyes narrowing again.

"When am I _ever_ on your side?"

Thor growls and steps back in front of Loki. Tony is about to help, but then…then _Loki_ growls back at _Thor_. All barred teeth and venomous eyes and a terrifying purr coming from his chest.

The brothers stand like that for what seems like two entire fucking minutes, but Thor finally backs up again. "One of these days," he says, taking a deep breath, "I will be able to hold my breath longer than you, and on that day, you will _pay_ for all of the times you have stood in my way." He looks at Natasha (who Tony forces himself not to make eye contact with) and Clint. "Come." And they're off.

"Holding his breath longer?" Bruce asks awkwardly.

Loki nods, turning to them, all smiles and innocence again. "We settle things like children, mostly because Thor still acts like one. Whoever can hold their breath longest gets to call the shots. I win every single time and he absolutely _loathes_ me for it. Tony, what are you doing today?"

Tony knew this was coming. _Everybody_ knew this was coming. So he tells him. "Nothing, actually. I kept my schedule open for you since I and everyone else knew you'd want to hang out."

He smiles too brightly. "How convenient! Have you ever been roller-skating before?"

Tony and Bruce snort while Pepper giggles.

"_Roller-skating_?" Tony asks, incredulous.

Loki nods with that damn smile still on his face.

Tony pinches the bridge of his nose. "Um, no, I haven't. How about we just…go watch a movie or something? Or we could even go back to my place and play some video games! You can practice chess with this online game I downloaded!"

"Nope!" Loki says, grabbing Tony's hand and pulling him along. "You're driving us to Baskin Robbins and then to the roller rink!" Then, back to Tony's two giggling friends, "You're all safe from the Troublesome Trio for the rest of the day! Have fun!"

Tony stumbles after Loki, because damn, he walks fast with those long legs of his. He's also wearing a silver scarf that's blowing back in T's face, and T notices that the nails on the hand gripping to Tony's are painted a deep, dark blue. Wow. So gay. It actually hurts Tony's eyes a little bit.

"Do Peter and Gwen know you're—"

"Yep," Loki says, looking back at him with a smile. "Already told 'em that you invited me somewhere. Where's your car?"

Tony rolls his eyes, letting Loki keep holding onto his hand as they switch positions in who's leading. He pulls out his phone to check the reply from Phil, too: **You know it's inappropriate for me to answer that Q. I'm gonna say that the girl you first played against was the best though. She won her two other games. I checked her on the scoreboard since she played you first, meaning she's good.** (Tony's just glad that they both have the same phone carrier so they can send as many characters as they want to each other.)

Tony chuckles, pecking away at the touch screen with his free thumb to answer: **Because she played against me? Suuure. She is way too young for you, you dog.**

"Who are you texting?" Loki asks.

No point in lying since the guy knows anyway. "Phil," Tony says, absentmindedly opening up the passenger door of his car for Loki. He also doesn't notice the grin that Loki gives him. "Since we don't talk like we're friends in public we just text a lot when there are other people around."

"Understandable."

Tony makes his way around the car and gets in on his own side, backing out until he's speeding his way down the roads to Baskin Robbins. "I'll buy you one scoop of ice cream on one condition," he says on the way, "and two if you accept two of them."

Loki glances over at him. "What's for the first scoop?"

"You tell me why Peter is okay with you being so close to his girlfriend."

Loki exhales slowly. "What's the second condition?"

"The second condition gets said when you answer the first. It's not a pick and choose kind of thing. There's an order."

"I'm not really sure if ice cream is worth telling you…"

"Hey, come on now. You're the one that's so dead set on us being best friends. You can't have secrets from people like that, now, can you?"

Loki looks at him completely. "Does Steve know about Phil?"

Tony purses his lips. "You know you're the only one that knows about that."

"My point exactly."

"Alright, alright, fine. But I want to know! I'm a nosy sonuvabitch, okay? And you said it's _your_ secret, right? So it's not going to hurt anybody else. If you had said it was a secret of all three of you I wouldn't be pressing, but it's just yours. Hell, I bet I have some things of my own that are way worse than whatever your secret is." Actually, he _knows_ he does, because he already knows Loki's secret. But he's got to play along, right? "Drinking, coming to school high a few times…" He knows those probably aren't as bad, but it depends who you're talking to. To Tony's dad, gay would be worse. But maybe to Loki's it's drinking. "You've gotta tell me. I won't tell anybody, I promise. It can't be _that_ bad."

Loki looks like he's about to burst, and then he does: "GOOD LORD, TONY! I'm gay, okay?! Peter is perfectly alright with me kissing Gwen on the cheek and even seeing her _naked_ because I like _men_, okay?"

Tony pulls into a parking space at that precise moment, and Loki drags his hands down his face. "Is _that_ all?" Tony asks, turning the car off as he smiles over at Thor's little brother. "I told you I've got worse things going on."

Loki looks over at him with an angry frown. "What do you mean 'is that all'?"

"Dude, Lo', there's nothing wrong with being gay. Don't hurt yourself, okay? I'm not going to kick you out of the car or anything. I figured it out anyway."

The angry frown turns to a confused frown. "You figured it out?"

Tony just flashes a smile before swinging out of the car.

"Wait, Tone, stop it," Loki says, getting out quickly after him, Tony locking the door with his blipper. "How did you figure it out?"

"Third condition for the first scoop," Tony says, "is that you don't ask questions on how I figure stuff out. You'll find out on your own, I'm sure."

Loki's confused frown turns to a simple frown, and he follows Tony into Baskin Robins. "I want two scoops. What's the second condition?"

Tony smirks, looking through the flavors. "We don't go roller-skating. We do something else. Something _normal_. Watch a movie, play some video games, go out for lunch, play some more chess, but _not_—"

"Oh no, Tony!" Loki says, eyes widening. "You left your trophy!"

Tony snorts. "Yeah, a real tragedy. Now, don't try to distract me, it won't work. Do you want two scoops or not?"

Loki sighs. "Alright, _fine_. Two scoops and you take me back to your house. You can teach me how to play one of your nerdy video games."

"Hey, video games do _not_ make a person nerdy. Like Gwen's friend! Just because she plays chess doesn't mean she has to _look_ like a nerd."

Loki chuckles, looking down at the flavors. "You'd be surprised how nerdy she actually is. She's Gwen's best friend and they're complete opposites except for how they dress. I'll take a bowl of one scoop birthday cake and another of vanilla, please."

Tony chuckles. "Vanilla? Really?"

Loki smiles at him as the lady behind the counter (named Peggy, which Tony knows because Steve has a huge crush on her so he gets dragged here all the time) fills his dish. "You're boring with your movies, I'm boring with my flavors. Vanilla is kind of my favorite everything. Taste, scent, you name it."

"Really? I'm more a chocolate kind of guy."

"Anything for you, Stark?" Peggy asks.

"None for me, Peg. I'm just here 'cause I owe this guy." Yeah, she's way out of Steve's league, but he and Tony are both trying anyway. She's a college freshman and about three inches taller than them both, but that doesn't stop Steve's infatuation. Tony thinks they'd go good together, too, actually. He's not sure if she likes him back, but she does give him smiles when she thinks neither him nor Tony are looking.

Peggy smiles, ringing up the total. "Got your card?"

"Obviously," Tony says, handing it to her, along with a five dollar bill.

"Tell Steve I said hi!" she says as they're walking out.

Tony can't help but grin. "I'll be sure to." The instant that they sit down in T's car, Tony pulls out his cell phone to text Steve (who has the oldest of old school phones you ever did see. Thin as an iPod touch and about half as small, not a flip phone, and without a camera. That's Steve, for yuh. Still in the dark ages).

**Peggy says hi**, he sends.

Loki giggles around a bite of ice cream. "Is that Steve's girlfriend?"

Tony bursts into laughter, setting his phone in his lap as he backs out to head to his place. "No, but he wishes. She might wish, too, but I'm not sure. She gives the hints, but who knows. Women, right?"

"You called her Peg?"

"Peggy Carter, yup. She's a college freshman and wants to be in the military. Steve does, too, but he probably won't be accepted since…well, you've seen Steve. He's got a slight case of asthma, too. So he's stuck where he is, going to the shooting range and getting beaten up."

"And he acts."

"Not very often. Sometimes he does the school plays, but he didn't do it freshman year. He draws really good, though. The year he didn't do it he helped design a lot of the backgrounds and the like Don't think Peg knows about that bit. Maybe I'll set them up on a date or something. I don't know."

Loki smiles around his ice cream. "You're not so tough, you know that? Asshole on the outside because that's how you were raised. Not to show any feelings when something went wrong. But on the inside you're just a big softie, because that's how you _wish_ you were raised."

Tony looks over at him for a second (just a second, so he doesn't crash), eyes filled with questions.

"Yeah, I know the feeling," Loki says. "I was the same way for a couple of years. Before I came to this school. It was just at the beginning…I mean, the beginning of Thor's attitude downfall. I didn't know how to deal with it, so I treated everybody like shit."

"Okay, okay, I'm sure this is really big and important for you to say, but you have got to stop cussing. I mean, you said the F-word earlier and it actually hurt not to gape at you, because if I had then you would have thought I was freaking out about your sexual orientation. You are way too cute to be swearing, okay? Leave that to me."

Loki smirks, finishing off his vanilla. "Cute, am I? You wouldn't say that if we were having a sleep over."

"Because you get grumpy when you're tired? I am really wondering what's really inside of that skinny little body of yours, now. I mean…good lord, Thor actually looked scared of you! What the hell was that about?"

"I've beaten him up before, you know. This most recent summer, even. He may be bigger and stronger, but I'm faster and I know all the moves. He just depends on his strength and intimidating nature, but he doesn't intimidate me since he's my brother. The strength scares me a bit, but once you can get around that, you're set."

Tony gives a _not bad_ sort of look. "Damn, Lo'. Somewhere along all this, I'm kind of glad you came and rescued me. I get all sorts of inside information about my three last favorite people."

"Why do you refer to them as that? Natasha, at least. Because you like her, right? How is she one of your least favorite people if you like her?"

"People hate what they like—or even love—Lo'. I'm sure you've learned that."

He gives a sad look, eating more of his ice cream. "Yeah. Definitely been there."

"Still there?"

"Still there," Loki repeats.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: This chapter is titled what it is because of the beginning, in which everybody makes themselves sad by thinking of the nickname that Clint would probably come up with for them. And then the second part is just the random little breath holding growling argument thingy between Loki and Thor. Not really sure why I decided to do that, but I wrote it anyway woo!


	6. Blow-Off's & Blow-Up's

**6: Blow-Off's and Blow-Up's**

_October 6  
Saturday…_

The rest of the day passes with board games (Loki beats him at one every single time: Monopoly. He's just a lot better at taking care of money, apparently. Tony's knows he's bad at that. It's his dads job to run the company still, not his), video games (Loki sucks at Call of Duty: Black Ops and Halo, but he's great at Mario Kart and Kirby's Epic Yarn…), movies (he doesn't really like the Deep Blue Sea, which saddens Tony greatly. They also watch Loki's favorite movie: SALT, with Angelina Jolie. Tony probably won't end up watching it again), and going through all of Tony's forgotten projects.

Phil and Steve both text him back during that time, too. Phil makes some joke about Tony having a crush on someone too old for him a few years ago, and Tony doesn't get it for a moment. Then he realizes that he's talking about Pepper, and he can't stop laughing for about ten seconds, so he has to explain the whole thing (including the relationship, the breakup, and the cake decorating bet) to Loki. Steve also tells Tony that he, Bruce, and Pepper all pulled in right when Tony and Loki were pulling out, so Peggy got to say hi to him herself. Hell, he even got her number. Yahoo Steve, making the first real move.

Tony is playing Minecraft on his XBOX for probably an entire fucking hour, explaining to Loki how it works and what things are called and why you should never get too close to a Creeper. Loki's been suspiciously silent for the last twenty minutes, though.

When Tony dies (thanks to a Skeletal Archer) he cusses and looks down at Loki, awkwardly surprised that he's fast asleep. Tony is pushed all the way to the edge, and Loki's head is on the other end with his legs curled up and his mouth slightly open. Yes, he's drooling on Tony's couch. Awesome.

He looks at his watch to see that it's about ten-fifteen, so maybe it's not so surprising that he's fast asleep if he usually bunkers down at about nine. And no, he doesn't snore. Thank goodness, or Tony would throw a pillow at him.

He spends about a minute just staring at him, debating whether or not he should wake him up to drive him home, pick him up and take the Escalade in the garage so he can just lay down in the back, or leave him there.

On the one option, he gets to see Loki's wrath and grumpiness for the first time, not happily directed at him, at being woken up. Option two he has to have muscles and not be lazy, both of which will never happen (there's the occasional boxing session with Steve in the basement gym, but that's about it). So, honestly, option three is the best one he's got.

So he goes and grabs some extra blankets, fluffing them out over Loki with a roll of his eyes. He doesn't go to sleep right away, because he can't even remember the last time that he went to bed before eleven. He sits on his bed and fiddles with some of his blueprints, spending a particularly long amount of time on the one for his C3P-O robot. He never realized how horrible his programming ideas were until now.

It's about twelve-thirty when he's ready for bed, which makes him laugh a bit. Loki probably fell asleep forever ago. He uses the bathroom and changes into pajamas before checking to make sure that Loki is still asleep (he is) before crawling into his own bed.

"Jay, keep a recording on him the entire night, yeah?" Tony says quietly into the room. "Wake me up if he wakes and starts to freak out because he doesn't know where he is, but if he seems totally fine, just let me keep on dozing."

Jay's reply comes from right beside his bed instead of echoing through the whole room, which the AI uses in cases like these where there are other people staying in his room and he doesn't want to wake them up: "Of course, sir. Or would you rather continue to sleep and let me explain things to him?"

"Actually, yeah, that's a much better idea. If he really wants me, though, I guess you can let him wake me up… I'd appreciate you discouraging the idea, though."

"If it pleases you, sir. Sleep well."

"G'night, Jay."

"Goodnight, sir."

**XxX**

_October 7  
Sunday…_

Tony wakes to the sound of Kirby's cute but totally annoying yelp. He turns over from his face squashed into the pillow to see not a face, but feet sticking over the back of the couch. Good lord, is Loki playing upside down?

He glances at his clock as he swings out of bed (eight-fucking-thirty on a Sunday? This is illegal. He is going to decimate his _guest_), and after making sure he has pants on he makes his way over to the couch.

Loki is indeed playing upside down, his arms dropped down to the floor where he's holding the Wii remote near the floor, his black hair conforming to gravity.

"Is there a reason you're in such a position?" Tony asks.

Loki yelps and falls completely off of the couch, Kirby falling down a hole and being pulled back out by the angel thing, though the little pink fluff ball loses all of its beads (when did T even buy this game?).

"Tony!" Loki says, flipping back into a righted position. "You're awake! I woke you with the volume, didn't I? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Did you sleep well?"

Tony snorts, crawling over the back of the couch. "Better than you, probably." He grabs a second remote and clicks around until Prince Fluff drops down so he can play as player two. "How was sleeping on the couch in your clothes?"

Loki shrugs, crawling back beside Tony to sit in a normal position. "Quite nice, actually. Thanks for the blankets. Why didn't you just wake me up?"

As Tony and Loki unlock a new patch in Kirby's Epic Yarn in which they're able to battle the evil Squashini he gives the taller man the three options in which he debated with the night before.

Loki chuckles. "Alright, I understand that. You didn't want to see anything for yourself?"

"You know, I'm beginning to think that you're just making all of it up."

"Yeah? Remember Thor's face? Try me sometime. It'll be _lots_ of fun."

Three hours go by, filled with the same stuff it was filled with yesterday. Loki makes them eggs after searching through the kitchen for about ten minutes for pans and whatnot (Tony is not in here enough; even Phil knows this place better than him) at about eleven, and it being Sunday Tony's mom doesn't have work. So she walked in on them, giving them a smile before asking how everything's been.

Loki's just a natural charmer (Tony prefers to call him a suck-up).

Now it's eleven-thirty and they're playing chess on Tony's bed (when _aren't_ they? Loki is just dead set on being the best he can be, which means playing again and again to learn all of the moves and tricks. He's only cheated once since coming over yesterday). That's when Tony's phone dings, telling him that he has a text message.

It's from Bruce, reading: **where are you** (He texts with correct spelling, but not correct grammar except when it comes to ending a sentence when there are more than one.) That's when Tony remembers that, at eleven-thirty—being what the clock reads now—he's meant to be meeting his three closest friends at the movie theater.

"Shiiiiit," he groans, flopping onto his back.

Loki cocks an eyebrow. "What, Phil texted to break the news that you missed an extra credit point?"

Tony would laugh if he wasn't so distressed. "No, I'm supposed to be at a _movie_ right now. You know, with my _other_ friends? I completely forgot it since you've been over!" He quick presses Bruce's speed dial number to call him.

"Stuck in traffic?" Bruce asks right away.

"Um, no," Tony says. "But I am definitely going to be late. Like…very late."

"Let me guess. Loki fell asleep on your couch and he's still there?"

_Bruce_, Tony thinks, _you are amazing. Stop it._ "What?" he says out loud. "No way! He isn't here!"

Bruce laughs. "Tony, don't lie. You're bad at it. We'll reschedule, alright? There'salways the coming weekend, or we're all open on Tuesday night."

Tony sighs, giving the taller man on his bed a bit of a glare, causing Loki to duck his head. "Bruce, I can be there, honestly. I just have to drop him off at his place first. I'm not going to let him ruin everything."

"Tone, stay there with the guy. We'll just watch it without you. He probably needs youas a friend more than we need you anyway. I mean really! He lives with Thor, of allpeople, and he hangs out with two people who always seem to be glued together."

"But I want to see the movieeee," Tony whines. "I _actually_ _watched_ the trailer for this one! I never watch trailers!"

"Tony, honestly, it's fine. Right now Pepper and Steve are just giggling over how cuteyou two are together."

"GOOD LORD BRUCE YOU KNOW I'M STRAIGHT."

"Of course you are. Have fun!" He hangs up.

Tony glares down at his phone, feeling horrible, until he gets a message from Mr. Speedy Fingers (being Bruce): **next time you want to tell us how straight you are just keep your mouth shut ;)**

Tony texts back: **FUCK YOU. I'm sorry. I love you. I'll make it up to all of you, I promise. Fuck all 3 of you.**

Then he looks back over at Loki, who gives a sheepish look. "I ruined your plans. I'm sorry."

"No, whatever, you didn't know," Tony says, sitting back down to make his move.

"You should have asked if they grabbed your trophy."

Tony smirks, barely paying attention as Loki makes his own move. "Like I even want it."

"Why not? They'd all fit right into your room. It's cluttered enough anyway."

"Yeah, cluttered with _important_ things, like robot pieces and guns."

"Oh, speaking of which, I did wake up once during the night. Jay is far too polite for his own good."

"He's only that way to newcomers who he wants them to become all-the-time-comers."

"_Sir_," Jay says in his best insulted voice. "I would _never_ do—"

"Mute. You just gotta ignore him, Lo'. He'll have you controlled to do his bidding in no time. What did he say to you last night?"

"Nothing much. Just where your diary is kept."

"You know, if I actually had one, that would be a brilliant idea to get back at me for CREATING HIM." Tony shakes his fist at Jay's censors. "Lousy, traitorous, ungrateful son of a bitch."

Suddenly there's a noise sounding throughout Tony's bedroom that is definitely not normal. It's like a mash-up of the sound of a VCR ejecting a VHS, the dial-up tone, and that annoying beep the TV makes when a channel is "testing the warning signals". Then Jay's voice is back on:

"I beg to differ, sir. You keep your leather bound book of all your experiments underneath your mattress."

Loki is probably about to say something about the fact that he didn't actually know where it was until now, but Tony speaks first: "JARVIS. YOU DID _NOT_ SERIOULSY JUST BYPASS THE MUTE ACTION."

"Oh, but I did, sir, and you have no one to blame but yourself."

"ME?!"

"You created me, didn't you? And you made me far too intelligent for our own good. Good morning, Mr. Laufeygard. I'm glad you slept well.

Loki smiles. "Thank you, Jay."

"WAIT A MINUTE! Wait a _minute_," Tony sputters. "Those are _my_ nicknames. No one calls _my_ AI 'Jay' but me. And Laufeygard was _my_ brilliance, excuse you _Jarvis_. Both of you are not allowed to gang up on me, understand?"

As Jay says, "We would never, sir," Loki smirks and makes another move.

Tony smirks back, because he sees instantly that the taller man has cheated again. "You'll never win, Lo'," he says. "I guarantee it."

Loki smiles, because he definitely knows that Tony knows. "Can I see your journal?"

"It's really not that great. It was a diary for about a month of my sophomore year before it turned into a project idea/experimentation book. It just talks about Pepper a lot."

Loki chuckles as Tony makes his move. Then he's about to say something, but the ring of his phone cuts him off. He gives Tony a sort of "may I?" look, like he actually needs Tony's permission to answer his phone.

"You know I don't care," Tony says, flitting his wrist at him. "Go ahead."

Loki nods in thanks before pulling the phone out of his pocket, looking at the screen of his caller. "Huh," he says. "It's Nat. She only calls me if she can't find Thor or if…." He trails off, teeth worrying a hole on his bottom lip. He presses the Send button and brings it to his ear. "Hello?"

The volume is loud enough and they're close enough that Tony hears Natasha through the receiver as well: _"Loki? Loki!"_ Her voice is somewhat frantic. Not like she's in immediate trouble, but just that she's been crying. Tony's entire body tenses.

"'Tasha, yeah, yeah, it's me. Are you okay? What's wrong?" Good, Loki caught it too.

"_Loki, oh lord, Loki. I need you."_

Loki doesn't say anything for a moment. "Nat, did he—"

She starts crying. _"No, no, Loki, I NEED you! I—I'm in trouble. Please, you have to help me."_

Loki sighs. "Alright, alright, but you owe me."

"_Please, Loki."_

"Yeah, yeah, keep your shirt on. Give me three seconds, okay? Don't hang up."

"_Okay, okay."_

He lowers the phone from his ear and looks at Tony. "I have no go," he says. "I'm going to call Peter for a ride and—"

"You wish," Tony scoffs, swinging off of the bed. "She doesn't sound like she can wait that long. It will be faster if I take you there myself."

"Tony, I don't think it'd be a good idea if you were there. She sort of hates you."

"I know." He grabs his keys and slips on his shoes at the same time. "Are you getting up or not?"

Loki is up and going instantly, the phone back on his ear as he shrugs on his sweatshirt and puts on his shoes. "'Tasha, you there?" Tony's too far away to hear, now. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming now. Did you hear all of that?" Pause. "Alright, are you sure it's okay with you? I don't want to put any more stress than—" Pause. "Okay, okay, geez, we're coming. Where are you?" Pause. "Good, that's closer. We'll be there in twenty—no, he's driving. Probably fifteen minutes. Fast as we can." Pause. "Yeah, I know you love me, you told me the last time I rescued you. Bye." He pockets his phone, walking with Tony into the garage. They ran out of Tony's room and down the stairs while he was still talking.

"Where are you going?" Loki asks as Tony makes his way in the opposite direction of his Audi.

"I'm taking the Escalade," Tony says, holding up his key ring. There are four different keys on it. One for his car, one for the Escalade, one for the Jeep Wrangler, and one for the house in case none of the key codes are working (which is basically never, since they've got backup generators even if the power goes out).

Loki frowns, running over to swing into the passenger seat. "You're just dropping me off."

"Who knows what she needs, Lo'," Tony says, staring the car at the same time that he opens the garage. "If she just needs you wherever the hell she is, then that's great and I'll drive home with my growing heart attack. If she needs to get somewhere, though, I plan to do that for her." He backs out way too fast, but it doesn't matter. He's a better driver than either of his parents because he does it way more than him. "Where are we going?"

"Happen to know where Clint's place is?"

Tony grins, revving the engine. "Happens I _do_."

It takes thirteen minutes to get to Clint's place, and Natasha is sitting on the porch looking way too attractive with her long wavy hair and shiny leather pants and especially with the low cut t-shirt but that is not why they're here right now so Tony will stop thinking abou—good lord, those stilettos could kill somebody!

"Wait here," Loki says. He leaps out of the car, and Tony doesn't care what he told him. He gets out as well, but he stays at the car, leaning against the side facing the house.

Natasha is up instantly, flinging herself into Loki's arms. It hurts not to run to her, but Tony knows it doesn't matter. They never were anything and never _will_ be, which both bothers him and doesn't. They probably wouldn't make it more than a week if they tried.

He can't hear anything that they're saying, but a few minutes later they both look over at Tony with the most desperate faces he's ever seen. He walks over to them right away, hands at his sides so Natasha doesn't think he's going to pull a knife on her or anything.

"Whatever I can do, I'll do it," Tony says as soon as he gets to them. "Do you need a ride somewhere? A place to stay? Money? I have excess amounts of all of it."

Natasha buries her face in Loki's chest, and he smooths a hand down her hair, shushing her softly. "Are you sure you're okay with it?" he whispers.

She nods against him, pulling away enough to look up at Tony. Or, more appropriately, across at him. She's about the same height as him. Damn. "Do you really mean all of that?" she whispers, voice shaky and cracked. "That you'd have anything?"

Tony nods.

She leans against Loki again, a sigh emitting from her lips. "Go ahead," she breathes.

Loki nods, looking over at Tony. "She and Thor are sexually active and she's, uh, two months—ah…"

"Pregnant," Tony breathes. "Got it. Are you keeping it or not?" He addresses Natasha, but Loki answers:

"She doesn't know yet. She hasn't told Thor, and she told Clint a couple of weeks ago. She was trying to get a hold of him so she'd have someone to talk to again, but he didn't answer his phone and nobody is home."

"Right, so no ride to the hospital. And I take it you don't want to go home—no, don't say anything, I know about your dad. Loki didn't tell me, I figured it out by myself. Would you be opposed to my place? Nobody's ever over, and even if they are you never run into them. Three story mansion with a basement and my bedroom in the attic, eight million extra bedrooms. I wouldn't even have to tell my parents you were over. They wouldn't care. My mom would ask, but she wouldn't care. Is that what you need?"

"For such a jackass," Loki says, "you are the sweetest guy I have ever met in my entire life. Drive slow, okay?"

Tony nods, knowing offering to help her to the car would just be stupid. He opens the back door for them, and Loki helps her in before sliding in after her. She leans against his side, trying really, really hard not to start crying again. Tony can tell.

"Do you need to grab anything?" Tony asks, getting into the driver's seat.

"Yeah," Loki says. "How long can she stay?"

"As long as she can stand it. You could stay too, maybe? I mean, since you said yourself you don't usually stay at home. She'd probably rather have you there as well." He starts the drive to Natasha's. He knows where she lives, too.

"We'll be the worst company," Loki says. "I mean, since you hate me and she hates you. And when Thor finds out he's going to kill you."

"No he won't," Natasha whispers, voice shaky but no longer cracking. "You're under my full protection. Your friends, too."

"How will you manage that?" Tony asks.

"Because he loves me and he'll do anything I tell him to without pressing any questions."

Tony mashes his lips together so he doesn't say anything stupid. He really, really wants to say something like, "Yeah, is that why you're not telling him that you're pregnant? Because he loves you?" But he keeps his mouth shut.

Loki answers his questions, though, like he could read his mind: "He does, Tony. My brother does, and I know that more than I know anything else. The problem is that neither of them wants kids because they're scared what kind of life they'll have. Both of their parents didn't raise them right and they're afraid that they'll end up the same way. Not to mention waiting till they're at _least_ in their thirties for children. And married."

"Whoa, whoa, did I say anything?" Tony asks. "No. And I will continue in my silence." He pulls onto the opposite side of the road to Natasha's house. "How are we doing this?"

"I'll go in," Loki says, opening up one of the doors. "I know everything to grab and where it all is. You guys are going to have to start getting along sooner or later, so you might as well start now." He gets out, swinging the door behind him before running across the street.

Tony takes an awkward breath. "So am I calling you Romanov or…?"

She takes the same kind of breath, meeting Tony's eyes in the rearview mirror. "Might as well call me Nat," she says, rubbing her hands on her arms.

"Well then I'm Tone," he says. "I'd offer you a jacket, but Loki'll be back sooner than later."

"I don't think I'd take it anyway. I don't really like your smell."

Tony chuckles, leaning against his door so he can look at her a little better. "Better get over that, Nat, and soon. People tend to smell like their houses. Then again, it's not like the guest bedrooms are ever _used_… Are you into big, small, or cozy rooms?"

"I like small places," she says, pulling her knees up to her chest. Her heels are off, so no holes in the seats. Good.

"You'll be on the floor below me, then. The rooms get smaller the higher up they are. Needless to say, my parents usually never make it past the second floor. If Loki's going to stay in the same room as you, though, I'll give you the biggest small one."

"He will be," she says. "So thank you."

They're in silence for a moment, until Natasha breaks it:

"I know you like me."

Tony snorts. "I hope you're not just finding out. It's been a long time, you know."

"No, Clint told me. He's like a hawk; notices everything and misses nothing. He's been in archery for a few years, now, too."

"Huh," Tony says in a sort of chuckle. "Wish I had known that ages ago."

"He knows you like Loki, too."

That gets Tony moving. He leans over so he can stare straight at her. "Excuse me?"

"Don't give me that, I'm not stupid. I'm nearly as good as Clint with the whole eavesdropping and watching people thing. It's obvious."

Tony leans back straight in his chair. "Look, it is really staring to piss me off that everybody is telling me what my sexual orientation is and who I like. I happen to be straight and am pretty infatuated with _you_, not _Loki _the_ guy._ Just because _he_ is forcing his company on _me_ does not mean that I suddenly have a crush on the guy, okay?"

He catches her smirk in the rearview mirror again. "Relax, _Tone_. I'm not going to ruin anything for you. I may hate you, but after this…well, I don't see how I can."

He nods, deciding to just let the shit she's saying go. She is pregnant, after all. Damn. "Right."

"One more question?"

"It's your first question. What?"

"Why do you go to such a shitty public school with all us dumb fuckers if you're so rich?"

"Because my parents don't care. "

She breathes out. "I know the feeling."

"Yeah… Besides, it's either this or private tutoring, and I'd rather be with said dumb fuckers than at my house longer than I need to be."

"Yeah, I know that feeling too. I get straight A's, you know that?"

He turns back around. "Really? Didn't peg you for a smart girl. What with all that…well…"

"Leather and cleavage? Yeah, I saw you looking. I'm a woman, I notice those things."

Tony smirks. "Told you I'm straight. Just don't go walking around my place in your underwear, yeah?"

"Wasn't my plan. Oh, and the term is bisexual."

Loki comes back a minute later with a suitcase, a small blanket, and a stuffed bear. He opens up the front passenger door, putting it all up front.

"Is that the Snuggles bear from the fabric softener commercials?" Tony asks, staring at it as Loki shuts the door and gets back in the back with Natasha.

"Yes," she says, snuggling (Tony forces himself not to laugh; he's not funny) back up against Loki. "And yes, the blanket is the blanky I've had since I was born. Yes, it is baby blue with brown bears in pink footsie pajamas, and yes I sleep with it every night."

Tony smiles at her in the rearview mirror before putting the Escalade into drive. _She's_ called the Black Widow? _This_ is the true light of the poisonous spider that's dating the biggest guy in school? If he wouldn't get punched if he laughed, he would. "Not so tough underneath all that leather, are you?"

"Not if I can help it," she says. "My dad leaves me alone if I'm sweet and innocent. When did you…um…"

"Find out? You two were walking out of the theater. I was with Steve."

She sighs. "I thought that was you. Who all knows?"

"Just Steve, Bruce, and Pepper, but they don't even know for sure. It was just a guess between us until now."

When they go silent, Loki speaks again: "Get acquainted while I was gone, I take it?"

"Yeah," Tony and Natasha say in unison. "Got to know each other _real_ well," Tony adds. "Nat tells me you'll be staying in the same room?"

"Um…" He whispers something to her before talking to Tony again. "Yeah, that's probably for the best."

He nods. "I'm going to tell my mom that you guys are over, but I won't tell her why or anything. You'll also both be put into the security feed so you don't get shot at if you come inside without me there. I can't give you the code, but your names and voices will be good enough."

"Great," Natasha groans. "Living with a billionaire."

"It's not that bad," Loki says.

"Unless my dad shows up," Tony mutters. "Just smile and nod if you see him, okay? He won't question why you're there and he _definitely_ won't give you a polite hello."

"You got daddy issues too?" Natasha asks.

"Plenty of them," he says. "Not in the same way as you, of course. Your dad's physical, mine just ignores me."

"Which is worse?" Loki asks quietly.

"Neither," he and Natasha say in unison. They share a look in the rearview mirror before Tony adds: "There is no 'worse' when it comes to broken families, Lo', because you only have one real one, so you never get to experience more than one. Sure, there's adoption or foster care, in which you learn all sorts of things from all sorts of families, but you're already kind of disconnected from them because they're not your _real_ family. Like you. You're adopted, so it's not in the same light as us."

Tony catches Loki give a sad smile. "That's true."

"No it's not," Natasha says. "Tell him about your real family, Lo'."

Loki sighs. "I don't even know how you know about that."

"Dude, we know everything about each other. We've known each other too long for that."

"You owe me so much for all of this, you know that?"

"Just shut up and tell him."

"I don't even remember them, though. I wasn't even one yet."

"Dude."

"Alright, alright, geez." He rolls his eyes. "Have you ever heard of the Laufeyson Lunatic?"

Tony almost crashes. "Sorry, sorry, I should not be driving right now. You mean the mass murderer that was around New York for, like…thirty-something years?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Good lord…" Tony whispers. "_He_ was your _father_?"

"Yup. He, uh…" He sighs. "Everything I know about the story of my own parents I got from the internet or old newspaper articles I photocopied at the public library. This is stupid. My mother, Farbauti, knew about all of the killings and still loved him anyway because she claimed that it wasn't his fault and it was just that there was something wrongs with his brain. Nonetheless, she went to great lengths to make sure that she didn't become pregnant so that a child wouldn't be born into a life like that. Naturally, though, she was the one percent that the condom didn't work for. So, poof, pregnant with little Loki. She kept it hidden from my father at first, and she wasn't able to abort me because she didn't have the money and her circle of friends didn't have it either."

Tony's heart breaks a little bit. "I know how that feels, you know. Not being wanted. My dad wanted a son to take over the business one day, but my mom didn't want me. I mean, she's fine with me now, but it still hurts to think about. Anyway, continue."

Loki gives a sad breath of laughter. "Father found out eventually, of course, since her stomach began to show it, and apparently he was ecstatic at first. All thrilled to teach his son his ways to carry on 'the family business' or something. My mother refused for that to happen, though, so she kept my birth a secret from him. She disappeared from him for a week, and then… She didn't give me up. She gave me to the orphanage to hide me, because then she called the police to tell them everything.

"She went back home after she called them, where my father was, and told him that she had hidden me and that the police were coming because she couldn't do this anymore. He shot her in five different places before killing her with a shot to the head out of rage. And then he ran, trying to find me to kill me too. He was on the run for four days before they caught him, but before they could actually capture him he took out two policemen and then shot himself through the head. So he killed my mother, tried to find me to kill me, and then killed himself. My mother still wanted me, but she was gone, a victim to her very own Laufeyson Lunatic. So I was in the orphanage until I was seven, when the Asgard's adopted me. And…here I am now."

Tony had made it home a little bit ago, so when he turns around in his chair he's in no danger of completely crashing the car since it's turned off in the garage. He crawls into the back seat, pushing both of them aside and sitting down between them, slinging his arms around their shoulders.

"So we belong together," he says, ignoring the look of death Natasha is giving him for touching her. "We're all completely different, right? I'm the nerdy jackass that nobody likes, you're"—he looks at Loki"—Mr. Sunshine and Smiles, and you're"—he turns to Natasha—"our badass motherfucker of the group that just needs a hug. And image that, it's all because of our fathers. Even now, Loki, Odin doesn't really _like_ you, right? So it's like…well, I don't believe in fate, but it's the general concept, you know? This is why kids from broken families either band together or hate each other. They band together because they understand each other, but they also hate each other for the same reason. Sometimes the people that are the most alike need to stay the most apart. Us, though. We belong together." He sighs, smiling sadly at them both. "These next nights are going to be the worst sleepovers _ever_."

Loki laughs, wrapping his arms around Tony's waist and leaning against him, and Natasha chuckles and leans her head against his shoulder.

"You know what, Tony?" Natasha says. "I like you. I'm sorry for all the times I beat you up. I won't apologize for beating Rogers up, though, 'cause I don't know him."

Tony smiles. "That's okay. You're going to have to if you you're living with me. None of my normal friends have been over very much this week because Loki's been bombarding me with his _own_ presence, but I'm sure they'll be over once or twice this week."

"Speaking of which," Loki says. "What's going to happen at school, now? I mean…does Nat pretend that she hates you still, or…?"

"Let's do it that way just for the first week," Natasha says, leaning away from Tony and pushing his arm off of her. It definitely does not escape Tony's attention that Loki stays where he is with his arms around Tony's stomach. "Or however long it takes for me to break the news to Thor that he's going to have a kid."

"You want to keep it, then?" Tony asks.

"I don't know. I've got to talk to Thor about it. We…probably won't."

"In which I've got the money for."

She sighs. "I really don't feel comfortable with you paying for all of this…"

Tony scoffs. "Like _you_ have the money for it."

She rolls her eyes. "Still."

"Nat, honestly, I've got more money than I know what to do with."

"Alright, alright, I'll let you pay for it if Thor and I decide that that's what's best for us. Now shut up and show off my new home."

"_Our_ new home," Loki says, finally letting go of Tony as he sits up, pushing Tony's arm off as well. "It's amazing, Nat," he says with a bright smile. "They even have banisters that are _just right_ for _sliding down_."

The fact that Natasha doesn't even sort of hold back the smile that envelopes her entire face causes Tony to burst into laughter. This really is going to go terrible, but Tony can't wait.

Everything is ready later that night, all of it set up. Loki and Natasha have settled into the room _right_ below Tony's (granted, that's more than just one room, but it's the one right below Tony's bed, in any case), Tony's explained to his mom that they've got guests for an unknown amount of time, his mom told his dad who just grunted in reply and continued on with his paperwork, and Natasha _almost_ called Thor to break the news to him but chickened out and watched a movie instead—and that's about as far as the night went.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: 1. Natasha's stuffed bear from the fabric softener commercial? Yeah, definitely the stuffed bear that I have to. And her blanky? Yeah, that's definitely mine. I just couldn't resist giving two of my most prized and girliest possessions to our leather clad badass over here.

2. And…wow this chapter did not go the direction I thought it would. Sudden pregnancy? I don't know, it just…happened. Blargh.

3. Anyway this chapter is titled how it is because of reasons. These reasons being: Tony blows off (accidentally) watching a movie with Bruce, Steve, and Pepper, and then Natasha's pregnant so her stomach's going to be blowing up to a bigger size. See what I did there? Idk it's one in the morning and I'm listening to the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack leave me alone.


	7. All New Friends

**7: All New Friends**

_October 8  
Monday…_

The next is started by all of the current house inhabitants (excluding Howard, obviously) being down in the kitchen for breakfast. Both surprisingly but not really, Tony's mom got up a little earlier than usual to make some bacon, eggs, toast, and orange juice since there are two extra people in the house. Tony never really pictured Natasha as a polite kind of person, but conversing with his mom she's almost a completely different person.

Her favorite color is red, her favorite band is Within Temptation, she loves to karaoke, and apparently she's a killer dancer—not pole dancing, either, which Tony would kill to see. Hip hop, pop, classical (like the Tango and Salsa), and _ballet_. And all of that was learned simply right in the course of breakfast in which she and Tony's mom actually got along rather well.

Tony also found out about Loki's music taste, which actually fits him rather well. It's mostly stuff Tony would brand as "hipster music", though. Mumford and Sons, Of Monsters and Men, Lana Del Rey… Stuff you would hear on those "we're too mainstream for Just Bieber" radio stations.

"Florence and the Machine is my favorite band, though," he says from his spot beside Tony at the dining room table. Tony's mom walked out just a second ago to go get ready for her own day. "It's a British indie rock band."

"Yeah?" Tony says. "I've only heard a few songs by them. I'm more of a…AC/DC kind of person."

"Isabella Summers with red hair is the only person in the entire world that he would go straight for," Natasha says without looking up from her scrambled eggs.

"Um…"

"Their lead singer," Loki says, whipping out his phone and going straight to his pictures, handing it to Tony. "Scroll a bit. I've got some of her with both red and when it's blonde."

Tony does, frowning. "She's…not really my type," he concludes.

"She's thirty-two, nearly twice our age," Natasha says. "But I can't make fun of him, because the only girl I'd go lesbian for is Angelina Jolie and she's thirty-seven."

Tony chuckles. "That's okay. My male celebrity crushes are thirty-eight and forty-nine."

"Leonardo Dicaprio and Johnny Depp," Loki says instantly, taking his phone back. "I would definitely go for them."

"Didn't you send Dustin Hoffman a fan letter a few years ago?" Natasha asks.

Loki nods. "Commenting on how his voice is the voice I want my life to be narrated by and that he did the most amazing acting jobs in the entire world for Hook, Outbreak, and Perfume. His handwritten reply has been framed to my wall every since, and I have a photocopy of it just in case something happens to it."

Tony frowns. "When you say 'Perfume', are you talking about The Story of a Murderer?"

Loki's eyes widen. "You've seen it?"

"Yeah, we watched it just recently in my literature through film class! Did you like it?"

Loki gives a little shudder. "It was…not exactly my type of movie. The only reason I could sit through it was because of Dustin and Alan."

Tony cocks an eyebrow.

"Sorry, I'm on a first name basis with all of my celebrities. Alan Rickman. He played Snape in the Harry Potter movies."

"Ah. I was a Potterhead for a while. Signed up for Pottermore and everything, but I haven't been on in months."

"Yeah? I made one too just because I could, but I've never read the books. What House did you get Sorted into?"

"Ravenclaw."

"Figured. Gwen's in your House, Peter and Thor got into Gryffindor, and Clint's actually a Hufflepuff. I, uh, got stuck between two, actually, so I got to choose."

Tony chuckles. "Which ones?"

"Hufflepuff and Slytherin."

Tony blinks at him. "_How_?"

Loki shrugs. "I chose Hufflepuff, in any case."

Natasha finally looks up, a sad sort of look on her face. "I got into Slytherin. You should have joined me."

He gives her the same smile back. "You know I want to get as far from that as I can."

"Okay," Tony says, leaning closer to them. "I know you guys are having a bit of a moment here, but I gotta ask. If you hate each other so much, why are you getting along so well and how do you know each other so great?"

They smirk. "Considering that I'm dating his brother," Natasha says, "we're sort of _forced_ to get to know each other. And we just…" She shrugs. "I don't know, we've gotten used to each other. The only reason he got me suspended was because he wanted to get back at Thor, and Clint and I just happened to be involved. He and my best friend actually get along rather wonderful, considering that they're both gay and both dated the same person."

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "Really? Loki and Clint have the same type?"

Loki and Natasha glance at each other before bursting into laughter.

"Obviously I am missing some very important inside joke," Tony says, "but I won't press. Do I know him?"

They stop laughing. "Um, probably not…" Loki says. "He, uh, is in a mental hospital as of now."

Tony instantly remembers that being mentioned in the watch recording of him and Gwen that Phil managed to get. "Oh, um, I'm sorry… Am I allowed to ask about the story, or would you rather keep it to yourself?"

"No, it's okay. He went to my old school, but I didn't really meet him until one of our home football games. Some of Thor's other friends are in it so he came too, so of course Clint and Natasha came as well, and…there was this group of three guys. One had glasses and _looked_ gay even though I know now that he's straight, one was covered in tattoos and had a white and yellow bird on his shoulder, and the third guy would put this mask on anytime that someone new came over to their group until they left. He was…" Loki chuckles. "Attractive, to say the least, even _with_ the mask on.

"I wanted to go talk to him myself, but I'm not exactly openly gay. Clint, on the other hand, _is_. He's also too cocky for his own good, so he went right up to them, and the guy puts his mask on, but Clint stood _right_ in front of him anyway, and Natasha and I were too far away to hear him, but we didn't have to hear to know that he was blatantly flirting his way into getting the mask off."

"And it worked?" Tony asks.

"Worked?" Natasha says. "Tone, they didn't come out of the bathroom for almost forty-five minutes."

"_Anyway_," Loki says, giving her a pointed look that she shrugs at. "Instead of going back to his group they came over to Natasha and I—Thor was rooting down in the front row of the bleachers, so he wasn't there for any of it—and Clint introduced us to his new friend, Victor von Doom, to which he had instantly thought up the nicknames 'Doomers'—which I still dislike, by the way. Anyway, I wanted him too the instant that he spoke, but he was obviously already claimed by Clint, so I kept it to myself."

"I noticed it anyway, though," Natasha says, going back to her eggs.

"I know, to which you actually told Clint about the instant I went off to use the restroom, thank you very much."

"He's my best friend, what do you expect?"

"Yeah, well, Peter's my best friend, but I don't think I'm going to tell him that you're pregnant."

She glares at him. "Wanna keep this conversation goin', big boy, or have you had enough?"

Loki rolls his eyes at her, looking back at Tony and not answering her as he continues with his own story: "They dated for seven months, actually, until Clint started getting…edgy. I didn't know why at the time, but I do now—and no I can't tell you."

"Neither can I," Natasha says before Tony can ask.

"The point is," Loki continues, "they broke up, and Clint hasn't been with anyone since. Viki—erm, Victor and I got together a couple of weeks later. We only dated three months before…well, before he went off his rocker. I wasn't with him when he did. He was with his two friends, and he…" He shrugs. "The problems he already had finally gotten too much for him and he lost it. Nervous breakdown, basically. They called me after he was admitted to the hospital, and I used to visit him. Sometimes he has small bouts of sanity, and the last time I went to visit him he told me not to come back. Told me to…move on. Since he's in the hospital and all. As soon as he got that out of his system he went back to insanity, though, and I haven't been back since, just like he asked me to. I'm mostly over it now, I guess. It's not like we were together that long."

"You loved him anyway," Natasha says, getting up to put her plate in the dishwasher.

Loki glares at her. "I did not love him," he says matter-of-factly. "I just happened to like him a lot more than I liked anybody else. But now—"

"_Now_," Natasha says, snatching up his and Tony's plates, "we have to get to school." She scrapes them off and puts them away as well before turning and frowning at Tony. "Shit, I can't walk to school, you actually live pretty far away…" she says, reaching up to chew on her index fingernail, to which Loki instantly smacks out of her hand.

"I know Loki has a license," Tony says. "He could drive you both in a different car."

Loki snorts. "Yeah, because the fact that I had a car wouldn't be weird enough as it is. The fact that all of your cars are fancy isn't going to help, either."

"Naw, man, there's a Jeep Wrangler in the other garage that's just covered in a lot of mud. It doesn't have doors on it right now, but it's still warm enough that you could do it. We'll put the doors on it soon enough for when it gets colder out."

Natasha frowns. "You have a _second_ garage?"

"'Tasha, please, we're billionaires. We have two of everything. Come on, I'll go let you guys in."

He sends them off first before getting into his own car and speeding up until he's right behind them, and he's happy to see that Loki is actually a good driver. It would suck if they got into a crash on the way to school. Pulling into his usual parking space, Tony watches Natasha get out of the Jeep and instantly walk away without so much of a glance at Tony's car or even Loki. Tony gets out and meets Loki halfway between the cars before they turn towards the door and Loki speaks:

"I have to tell Peter and Gwen. Do you want to come with me or go tell Phil?"

Tony looks at his phone to check the time. "We have time for both, if you want to come with me so I don't give out too much information."

Loki nods. "Good plan." He walks straight to the library, where stand Peter and Gwen right outside.

"Hey!" Gwen says cheerily.

"Hey," Loki says. "I, uh, just wanted to let you guys know that I won't need a place to stay for a while. Natasha and I are staying at Tony's." He looks at Gwen specifically. "The red in her ledger stopped flowing, and not just for the month."

Gwen gasps, Peter looks confused, and Tony only knows what it means because he was told. That is the most creative and secretive way he has ever heard anybody say that somebody is pregnant _ever_.

"She _isn't_," Gwen says. "Does she need any feminine help? 'Cause I can totally be that."

"No, she's got Clint, she'll be fine. I just wanted you to know. Also I've got an infinite number of cars to choose from, so I won't need any rides. I'll be…busy…with taking care of her, so I won't be able to hang out for a while. But I'll still see you during school." He leans forward to kiss Gwen on the cheek before turning to Peter. "And you. Suck it up and be happy, please? Go skateboarding or something. Swing around on a few chains in an abandoned building."

Tony knows that Peter doesn't like him, so the fact that he gives a genuine snort of laughter is surprising. "That was _one_ time!"

Loki grins. "One time too many." He pats his cheek. "I'll catch you later."

As soon as Tony and Loki are out of hearing distance, Loki says, "He really hates you."

"I know," Tony says, rolling his eyes. "He looks cool, too, so it stinks. I never learned how to skateboard; maybe we can bond by him—"

"No," Loki says, pulling open Phil's classroom door. "He'll wrap you up in a web of pain and then he'll egg you."

"Egg me?" Tony asks, walking in.

"I'm not even kidding. He has a thing for eggs."

"Who and eggs?" Phil asks from the front of the room.

"It's nothing," Tony says, flitting his wrist. "The real point of our visit is to inform you that I got some new housemates!"

Phil cocks an eyebrow. "Who? And why?"

Loki puts his hand over Tony's mouth. "I'll take it from here." He drops it and looks directly at Phil. "Natasha needed a place to stay, and Tony's an absolute angel and took her in without a second thought. I'm staying as well since they don't know each other very well—which doesn't seem to deter his crush on her."

Phil smirks and Tony rolls his eyes. "Good lord, why are you so…" He trails off. He's pretty sure Loki likes him, so he already knows why the guy is so sore about his crush on Natasha. He's jealous. "Ugh, never mind. Phil, it started last night, so I'll…fill you in as to how it's going after a few days."

The bell rings.

"Perfect timing!" Loki says, clasping his hands together. "I'll see you at lunch, Tone." He pats his cheek just as he did Peter's and walks out.

As soon as the door closes, Phil wiggles his eyebrows at him.

Tony gives him a "yeah well fuck you" sort of nose wrinkle, flips him off, and walks out without saying a word.

**XxX**

_October 8  
Monday…_

The moment that Tony sits down beside Steve at their usual cafeteria table, Bruce says, "So how was your date?"

Tony groans. "Okay, first off, we played video games and chess. _Not_ a Tony Stark date. Second, I am _straight_. Third, we ended up hanging out with Natasha and she and him may or may not be living with me now." He keeps his gaze at his food, soaking in the silence.

"What?" Steve says, breaking it. "They're _living_ with you?"

"Uh, Loki is to make Natasha more comfortable, but I can't exactly tell you why Natasha is because she would—"

"Kill you?" a voice supplies.

Bruce and Pepper look up while Tony and Steve turn around to see all of Natasha, Thor, and Clint hovering behind them.

"Nat!" Tony says, swinging around and standing. "Hi. Did you…um, hi."

She rolls her eyes. "Clint already knew and yes I told Thor. Big happy family, thank you. You can tell them too, if you want. I don't care as long as it doesn't get out any further than that."

Tony frowns. "Are you sure?"

She nods, and Thor says, somewhat stiffly but still sincerely, "I am very grateful of you, Stark. All these years of doing you such injustices and you forgive her in the beat of a heart. It is a noteworthy trait."

"Thor, I told you it's just because he likes her," Clint says, flitting his wrist.

Tony rolls his eyes. "You keep talkin', gay boy."

Clint smirks. "At least I've accepted it, unlike _some_ people."

Tony frowns. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Ladies, please," Bruce says from behind Tony. "No gay-off's in the school cafeteria."

Clint chuckles as Tony turns to glare at him. "Traitor."

"You're the one who ditched us yesterday for Loki."

"Speaking of my brother," Thor says with a thin smile as Loki walks up.

Loki doesn't give him so much as a glance as he looks at Natasha and says, "You, me, Thor, over there," to Natasha as he points to an empty corner. "Now."

Natasha nods, pulling Thor along and Loki trailing after.

"Um…" Steve says.

"Now what?" Pepper asks, throwing a baby carrot so that it hits the back of Clint's head.

"Hey now," he says, turning away from Loki, Natasha, and Thor to frown at her. "It is not easy getting this look, thanks."

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "Can't be that hard. Just jump in front of a bus."

Despite the fact that the joke is meant to be very rude, Clint laughs.

"Why are _you_ laughing," Bruce asks.

"Because," he says, flashing Tony's science buddy a very seducing smile. "What's a life without being able to make fun of yourself sometimes?" He turns back to Tony before anybody can say anything. "Actually, while they're doing their thing, I need to talk to you too…"

Tony raises both eyebrows. "Um, okay."

He follows Clint to another corner, leaning against the wall with his back while Clint leans against it with his shoulder. "So what's this about?" Tony asks.

Clint sighs. A sad sigh. A poor, dejected, "I'm on my last leg" sort of sigh. "I know you don't like me," he says, "and I don't like you either, but I just turned eighteen today and…" He sighs, turning so that he's leaning against the wall with his back instead of his shoulder. "I live with my aunt and uncle because both of my parents are in jail, and they just informed me this morning that they want me moved out by tonight. I have a car, and I'm going to a job interview after school today at this bookstore, but I don't…" He sighs again before looking up at Tony from the ground, the biggest puppy dog eyes in the entire world plastered on his face.

"I need a place to stay until I find an apartment. That might just be a few days, because I had a job over the summer at this archery camp and I got paid a lot more than I probably should have, but if I don't get this job it might be somewhat longer because this is literally the only thing I've found that isn't something involving fast food." He continues to look across at Tony with those huge eyes, and even if Tony was going to say no, he wouldn't be able to with that look.

"You are the most adorable asshole I have ever met and I hate you," T growls. "Honestly, you could come live with me even if you didn't have a car and weren't going to get a job. We've got the money for it and that's what Loki and Natasha are doing right now. My mom loves them, and if you can be less of a dick she'll love you too. You've got that natural charm thing goin' on."

Clint's eyes shift to confused. "Is that a yes or are you trying to hook me up with your mom?"

Tony grimaces. "Good lord, no. You're not her type. She likes rich businessmen who ignore her."

Clint gives a sad, somehow knowing smile. "You know, I thought that about my pop, too. Not exactly the same, since he wasn't a businessman and we've never been rich—but that's not the point. I thought my mom had a taste for douchebags, and then she went to jail. And you know what my dad did? He traveled all over the world to prove her innocent and set her free, and now he's imprisoned in Germany. But that's okay, 'cause I know that he's not really a douchebag and the world just made him hard. His job and me and any number of other things. I'm not denying that your dad's a dick, I'm just saying that there's probably a reason for it."

Tony blinks at him for a few seconds. "Wow," he eventually gets out. "That was…really insightful of you. I was not expecting that. At all. Do you, um… Yeah. Yeah you can stay. Just…don't actually talk to my dad. He won't talk to you either because I've always got people running around the house, so he'll ignore you. Do you want any help packing your stuff?"

Now it's Clint's turn to blink. "Really?"

Tony frowns. "'Really' what?"

"'Really' you'll help me pack."

Tony shrugs. "I have nothing better to do, and I'm sure everyone else will want to help too. You can show off to your aunt and uncle how cool you are with so many friends."

Clint grins. "I almost feel bad for beating you up after all these years. You're actually pretty cool. I won't apologize for Rogers, though, since I don't know him."

Tony smirks, because that's basically exactly what Natasha said last night, and crosses his arms and shifting so that he's leaning against the wall with his shoulder. Now they've switched. "Yeah, I've been told. An asshole too, but I'm not sure which of us is worse."

"It's you," he says without a pause. "I'm gay, so it has to be you. You're still in denial so you're definitely it."

Tony rolls his eyes. "I would be offended by that, but all of my friends say the exact same thing and I'm just going to gradually start ignoring it. Come on, I'll go introduce you to my friends."

"But I already know them," he says, following after.

"No, you know what they look and sound like. But you don't _know_ them. And if you're going to be living with me then you're going to have to start getting along with them _real_ well."

Clint smiles. "Do you think Bruce would be ok with tutoring me in pre-calc?"

"Uh…I don't know. Ask him."

Back at the table, Loki is done with Natasha and Thor, so they've come back as well. Steve moved to the other side with Bruce and Pepper, so Tony sits down beside him and Clint sits across from him.

"I explained the situation," Loki says, kicking Tony under the table. "They know everything why Natasha and I are staying with you, and Natasha told Thor that he and Clint aren't allowed to beat you or Steve up anymore."

"Hear that, Clint?" Pepper asks, flicking a baby carrot so that it hits square between the eyes.

He's stunned for a second. "That was surprisingly good aim," he finally says, picking it up off the table and chucking it half across the cafeteria to which it lands straight into a trash can. Then he smirks. "But not as good as mine."

"Just because we have new friends does not mean you get to show off, _Hawkeye_," Tony says, sticking his tongue out. "That's _my_ job."

"Tell me about it," Bruce says, picking up another carrot and holding it out to Clint. "Can you do that again?"

Clint smirks, closes his eyes, and chuckles it again. Perfect aim.

"Wow," Steve says, almost rudely. "If the entire cafeteria wasn't already staring at us, they'd at least be staring at _you_."

The table silences before it looks around slightly, and yeah, the entire room is giving them both subtle and not-so subtle glances.

"That's what happens when you get pregnant," Natasha says, looking down at her nails, painted in a pattern of black and red. "You need _support_, and sometimes that support just happens to be the enemies you've had since freshman year."

"And there's nothing wrong with that," Pepper says, reaching across and taking one of her hands. "That is the most beautiful red polish I have ever seen."

"You can borrow it sometime if you want. Clint only uses my black."

"Hey now," Clint says, "Loki uses the dark blue sometimes."

"I put on her dark red this morning though," he says, showing Clint his hand. "I've decided it's not my color."

"Hmm…" Clint examines them. "Yeah, I'd say the dark green sometime. I bet you could pull off her deep purple, too."

"Hey, can I join the gay-off too?" Tony asks. "Oh, wait, sorry, Bruce said we couldn't have them in the cafeteria."

Loki and Clint give little glares as everybody bursts into laughter. Everybody except Thor.

"You okay over there, point break?" he asks, rolling an apple across the table. It moves slow, and everybody watches it until it bumps into Thor's arm, who gives absolutely no indication of being talked to or touched.

Natasha sighs. "He's probably in shock now. He just found out this morning that he could possibly be a father, after all."

Pepper frowns. "Possibly?"

"Well he won't be if we don't keep it."

"Keep it?" Bruce asks.

"Abortion? Geez, what decade are you guys _from_?"

"Excuse me," Steve says, standing up and walking off with his tray without another word.

Tony speaks to break the awkward silence before it begins: "Ew, morals. He'll be fine. Let it sink in. He hates you guys, after all, so anything you do is going to be wrong to him." He reaches across and grabs his apple back. "Anyway, who wants to play my name game?"

Loki frowns. "_Your_ name game?"

"It's where you say your name, what you want to do after you graduate, and one thing about yourself that you want everybody else to know."

"ME FIRST!" Clint yells, attracting even _more_ attention as he throws his arms up. "I wanna go!"

"Don't hurt yourself, big boy," Pepper says, flicking another carrot at him. Natasha bats this one out of the way, though. He rolls his eyes heavenward at her. "Let me be excited, I might be an uncle!" He instantly slouches and looks up at Natasha, the look of a kicked puppy on his face as if to ask "was that not okay?"

Natasha pats him on the top of his head. "For now, but not when Thor snaps out of his stupor. He might deck you like when—"

"This is getting out of hand," Bruce says, tapping at the table. "_I'm_ going first. My name is Robert Banner, but everybody calls me by my middle name, which is Bruce. I want to be a doctor when I graduate. Not one of those boring hospital doctors, either. I want to study radiation and the like. And I guess…I'm really good at reading out loud to people. Like stories and novels and things. I'm not sure why but, if I can't be a doctor, I can totally make a living off of reading stories to children in bookstores or something."

"Knew that," Tony and Pepper say at once, and the smile that is glowing on Clint's face is literally blinding.

"_Now_ you can go," Pepper says to Clint.

He sticks his tongue out at her. "I'm Clinton Barton, but if you call me by my full first name I'll probably deck you. Both of my parents are in jail, and when I graduate I want to travel the world in search of ways to get them both out. First things first, though, I have to figure out why they're in there…" He stares down at the table before shaking his head back and forth as if to regain his original thoughts. "I really like it when people play with my hair. Natasha calls me her puppy because whenever she is and stops for a second I nuzzle back into her hand for her to keep going. I don't really mean to, I just sort of do it."

Natasha laughs. "It's true, he does. I'll go next. I'm Natalia Romanova, but that's because I'm Russia and I don't really like being Russian, so now it's Natasha Romanov. If you call me Natalia I'll probably deck you too. I want to join the FBI or CIA, and I…" She sighs. "I really hate kids. The concept of abortion doesn't bother me. Some women feel attached because it's attached _to_ them, but I…don't." She shrugs. "Anyway, this lump of shock beside me is Thor Asgard and he really fucking hates bananas. Also he wants to be an architect of sorts because he likes building things. He's a hammer and nails sort of guy. That or a weatherman."

Pepper goes next: "I'm Virginia Potts, but just like everybody else here I'll deck you if you call me by my first name. I have a passion for frosting and donuts and if I can't be someone's secretary I want to be a pastry chef."

Loki smiles. "I can't cook to save my life. The last time I tried making an omelet I was in the kitchen for three hours and I burnt the entire thing. I'm Loki Asgard, and I don't know what I want to do when I graduate. Clint always said that I could come with him, but I really don't know. I was adopted when I was seven years old, and Thor picked me out at the center all on his own. I still don't know why."

"Steven Rogers isn't here," Tony says, "and he'd probably be okay with you calling him Steven, though I think a simple Steve suits him better. He wants to either join the military or be on the local police force, and he's the most patriotic person you will ever meet in your life. You should see his room.

"And I'm Anthony Stark, but you can call me honestly whatever you want. Tony or Tone or Edward, 'cause that's my middle name. I might answer to it, but probably not. I really don't like my dad, but I want to take over his business when he passes away anyway, because it's all rather fascinating to me. I also really need to stop hanging out with new people because it's starting to effect my homework even more so that not doing it at all." He scratches the back of his head. "But I'm not going to because you guys are actually kind of cool. And that is all."

Loki reaches over to pat his hand. "Very uplifting words, my friend."

"Yeah, what's next?" Clint asks sarcastically. "Because my heart _soared_ at that."

"Can it, gay boy, or I'll kick you out."

"Kick him out?" Bruce asks.

"Oh, I forgot to say," Tony says, slinging an arm around his shoulder, to which Clint cocks an eyebrow. "Clint's going to be living with me too!"

Bruce blinks a lot, Pepper and Loki snort, and Natasha grins wildly. But nobody gets to actually say anything, because that's when Thor snaps back:

"Where did Rogers go?"

Natasha holds her hand up so that nobody else speaks: "He doesn't like the idea of us all having to be friends now. He's sore over…well, us making him sore."

Thor nods somberly. "I am sorry for those actions against him, and it will never happen again. Our feud is of freshman origin, after all."

"That _I_ started," Clint says. "I don't remember why, but he pissed me off for something. I'll say sorry as soon as I know him well enough to call him by his first name."

Tony grins, looking at Loki. "Can I see the watch I gave you?"

Loki frowns, sliding it off of his wrist and handing it over. "Why?"

"I gotta find Steve!" He runs off with his backpack on—well, not run. He does that awkward hop-jog you do when you're wearing a backpack. The bell rings right as he's running into Steve's fifth period welding class, and Steve is angrily setting up his work station.

"Still working on that shield of yours?" he asks.

Steve looks up and glares. "You can tell Natasha I'm from the forties," he mutters.

"Okay, but I want you to hear this." He holds up the watch.

Steve frowns. "Isn't that Loki's?"

"That I gave him? Yes. Tell him about this feature and I'll kill you." He picks it back up and fiddles around until the sides come off, in which he presses Stop, Rewind, and after a few seconds presses Play so that it starts in the middle of some snorts (right after Tony announces that Clint will be staying with him), and then Thor speaks, followed by Natasha's slight lie of an explanation, Thor's apology, and Clint's not-so apology. Then he clicks for it to keep recording as he puts it back together.

"Why did you show me this? Romanov didn't even tell Thor the right thing."

"She didn't so she wouldn't traumatize him again. But I showed it to you because I wanted you to hear Thor and Clint's answers. I'm not all too excited about this either except for the Natasha part, but… Steve, they need our help. Natasha's dad would beat her again, and Clint's coming too because he just got kicked out this morning. Think about it. No more fights! You can jog to your heart's content in safety, and I bet Clint would love to go shooting with you if and when you guys forgive each other."

Steve sighs, setting up his metal dyes. Red, white, and blue? Patriotic bastard. What's he going to do with an American shield anyway? Use it as a Christmas wreath?

"I guess if _they're_ trying…" he says.

"That's the spirit! Now I gotta go or I'll be tardy, so I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Yeah… Tony?"

"Dude, later?"

"No. Do you still like…" He leans in to whisper Natasha's name in Tony's ear so nobody else around them hears it.

"Of course I do."

"You'll never get her."

"Yes, I know."

"Are you sure you don't like—"

The bell rings.

"Dammit!" Tony runs out without another word, though he does want to know who Steve was going to say. Not the girl in his AP gov' class that Bruce wanted him with a week ago; he agrees with Tony that she's too soft for him, whatever her name is. So he was probably going to say Loki, considering that he, Bruce, and Pepper are now obviously plotting against him in all this. He only wants Natasha, dammit, and there has yet to be anyone brave enough to come between that.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: 1. The fact that Loki and Natasha laugh about Loki and Clint having the same type? Yup, that's going to come in later.

3. Also I'm hoping you already guessed about the title for this chapter. It's just because Tony is suddenly surrounded by a whole extra group, so he's got all new friends! Especially because they used to be his enemies and all.


	8. Health Care & Costume Shopping

**8: Health Care and Costume Shopping**

_5 Days Later  
October 13  
Saturday…_

Beginning chapter notes: So Natasha gets an abortion in this chapter, and I really didn't try very hard to research the whole thing, sooo… Be prepared for mistakes. I'll read up on it a bit more, probably, but not enough to fix a bunch. It's not too important anyway. I mean it is but…not really. Never mind I'm just making this more confusing sorry read on

Tony wakes up without a sound, just lying in his bed and staring up at the ceiling. It's a Saturday. The day that Natasha will be going to the nearest health center for her abortion. Her conversation with Thor was long and loud in the bedroom she and Loki were staying in ("were" because lately it's been Natasha and Thor, so Loki is sleeping on Tony's couch or he conks out beside Tony on the bed and Tony doesn't care enough to move him), but not so much that it was brought to Howard's attention and not enough that anybody could hear individual words. Except maybe Clint, since his room is right beside theirs.

Last night was when Natasha and Thor announced that abortion was what they were going to do. Steve, Bruce, and Pepper were over as well, and the look on Steve's face was actually rather terrifying. He didn't say anything out loud, though, and when Tony texted him asking him if he wanted to leave he replies with: **no ill be fine its her choice. She doesnt even like me i have no say.** She does like him, though. Enough that she calls him by his first name, anyway. In fact, everybody is on a first name basis by now. Tony already called them by their first names, but he does that with everybody even if he's never spoken to them before.

Friday night was the biggest sleepover Tony has ever had, with all of Steve, Bruce, Pepper, Loki, Natasha, Thor, _and_ Clint staying over. So, including Tony and his parents there are ten people in the house. Then count the hired help (that Tony secretly calls peasants) that are randomly in and out of the house and you've got fifteen. It's far too many people in Tony's opinion. He doesn't like people. He's great at parties if he happens to get invited to them and he'll socialize till the cops come, but it doesn't mean it's something he _likes_ doing. He just sort of…does it anyway.

But whatever the case, with seven new people in the house, two of them permanent (Natasha and Clint) and one of them mostly that way but not finalized in words (Loki), the two once-enemy groups end up with some rather intense _bonding time_. The past week Tony learned things he's wanted to know for years and also some things he would do _anything_ to erase from his memory. And even just last night, with everybody staying over, everybody learned about Natasha and Thor's decision, that Clint can literally fall asleep anywhere (the rafters above Tony's bedroom, under Tony's bed, and behind the TV are Tony's personal favorites), Pepper sleeps in candy cane decorated footsie pajamas, Bruce sleeps with a hawk stuffed animal, Steve talks in his sleep, and everybody got to see Tony's mini fridge full of pop and hard liquor—that Loki would not let him have any of.

Right now Loki is over on his couch playing Kirby without volume, and everybody else is…wherever their bedrooms are.

Tony sighs. "I have too many friends," he mutters.

Loki's head pops up. "You're up now? Good, I can turn the volume up. Will you come help me beat Meta Knight again?"

"Yeah, alright." He swings out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweats. "What time did Natasha schedule for again?"

"Not till two. It's only about nine, now. Can I be Kirby this time?"

Tony wants to argue, but he just nods. It's too early to argue with Loki. They play for about an hour before they're graced with the presence of others: Steve, Pepper, and Clint walking in together and discussing something about aim.

"It depends on wind," Steve says.

"Also the height of the target," Clint says.

"Only if you're using arrows," Pepper adds. "Bullets take way longer to start arcing."

Clint grins. "If I was straight I would be so turned on right now."

"By Pepper?" a new voice asks, and everybody turns to see Bruce walking in. "Talking about shooting?" He sits beside Tony on the couch. "I would _run_ if I were you."

Before Clint can answer him, Steve speaks: "Wait a minute, are you guys playing _Kirby_?"

Clint's entire face lights up. "I love this game!" He squeezes in-between Tony and Bruce, so Tony is forced to scoot up next to Loki—and Tony is _positive_ that he's not the only one who sees the guy give Bruce a once over. He doesn't say anything, though, because Clint very rudely steals his controller.

"Mellow, yo," he says to Loki, "you should give Fluff to Ban-Ban; I wanna kick his ass."

Loki frowns, but does, while Bruce smirks. "Dude, I have played this more than _legal_. Your ass is _mine_."

"I sure as hell hope so."

Steve and Pepper were talking about something, and Tony and Loki were complaining a bit about their remotes being stolen, but the room goes _silent_ at that.

Clint frowns. "What? It's a gay sex joke! I'm, like, _obligated_ to make those!"

"Well _I'm_ not," Loki says, standing. "I'm going to go shower."

Natasha and Thor walk in at the same time that he walks out.

"What'd we miss?" Natasha asks.

"Gay sex jokes," Steve and Pepper say together, and never in Tony's life did he think he would hear that sentence just come _casually_ from either of their lips.

"Ah," Thor says in his usual booming voice. He was so quiet the whole week before, but as soon as he and Natasha announced their decision last night he's been his regular self. "The usual, then. Who has fallen into his trap?"

"My Brucey-kins," Tony says at the same time Clint says, "My Ban-Ban."

They snap their heads over to _glare_ at each other.

"I had him first," Tony growls.

"You've got Loki," Clint snaps.

"But he's my _Brucey-kins_! You can't have him!"

"You can have Mellow and Steve!" Clint hasn't gotten around for a nickname for any of them except Pepper, who he calls Queen. Tony's not really sure why and he doesn't really want to ask.

"But I want them _all_!"

"Uh, four-ways aren't really my thing, guys…" Bruce says quietly.

Clint actually wraps his arms around Bruce. "Good! It'll be just us!"

"Um…"

"Good lord, share him before we wake your father again," Thor growls.

The entire room hushes instantly. That was a _bad_ morning…

Tony huffs, grabbing the Wii remote from Clint. "Fine, but I get to keep playing, then."

Clint grins brightly. "Worth it!" He presses a sloppy kiss to Bruce's cheek. "You can sleep with _me_ tonight."

Tony, Steve, Natasha, and Thor all give a laugh, but Pepper seems to hold her breath a little.

Bruce's reaction, though, makes her smile:

"I hope you're okay with snoring, then."

Tony chuckles internally. He knows that Bruce is straight, so the joke's all on Clint. He can't even tell if the guy means it, though. Clint has literally plastered a kiss to the cheek of all Tony, Loki, Bruce, Natasha, Thor, Pepper, and he pressed a sweeter kiss to Tony's mother. The only one he hasn't done is Steve, and it's only a matter of time for that.

When it hits about one-thirty, everybody is dressed and ready to go. Yes, all eight of them. They all cram into the Escalade, Steve driving, Natasha in the passenger seat since she's the important one today, Thor behind her and Clint and Bruce beside him in the 3 seats behind the front seats, and Tony, Loki, and Pepper in the last row behind them.

Steve pulls front row parking at one-fifty-two, and they all decide that just Tony, Natasha, and Thor should actually go inside. Tony to pay, Natasha for the operation, and Thor because he's the father.

Halfway to the door, Natasha practically _flings_ herself backwards, slamming up against the side of the car. Clint and Loki are out instantly, Loki standing with concern on his face and Clint with hard eyes and a soothing voice.

"I changed my mind, I can't do this," she says, voice cracked and breathing ragged. "I'm just like every other woman, I _do_ care that it's a part of me! I changed my mind; my fact is that I've always wanted a pet hermit crab!"

"Natasha," Thor whispers, kissing her very lightly on the forehead. "You must remember our reasons. There are many."

She takes a very deep breath. "I love you," she says, throwing her arms around him and kissing him hard.

Clint just folds his arms and takes this protective sort of stance, like he's used to this. When Tony looks at Loki, though, he just sort of…stops. Their eyes are locked and Tony is about to punch himself in the face to—

"Wow," Clint says. "It's not every day I'm the _fifth_ wheel."

Tony latches onto it like a lifeline, glaring at him. "Keep 'em comin', gay boy, and you're out."

He watches Loki deflate a little, but Clint just smirks.

"We ready for this?" Tony asks Natasha when she and Thor finally separate.

She smirks, sauntering off. "Waitin' on you now."

Tony follows with a chuckle, and thus continues the epic drag of the Black Widow, the Thunderer, and _Tone_. Yeah, he's going to need a new nickname after this.

**XxX**

_Two Hours Later, Just Leaving the Clinic  
October 13  
Saturday…_

"I don't feel very good," Natasha mutters, rubbing at her forehead as she climbs back into the front seat. "My head is killing me."

Bruce instantly produces a bottle of Advil from seemingly nowhere. "Here, have a couple of these."

"And here's some water," Pepper says, producing a bottle from the same nowhere.

"Do you need anything else?" Steve asks. "Tony keeps a pillow underneath the seat."

Tony grins. His three friends have acted like this around him hundreds of times. Whenever he's hung over, Bruce brings Advil, Pepper brings water, and Steve makes sure he's comfortable. The best friends ever.

"Thanks," she says, "but I probably shouldn't take them just after all that."

Tony's three friends nod in sort of "you're right, what were we thinking?" sort of way.

Thor reaches around and holds lightly to both shoulders, rubbing soothingly. Clint is leaning against Bruce, and Bruce looks only a little bit uncomfortable, but he has his arm around his shoulder anyway. Tony is sitting up in the back and Loki is flopped onto his lap.

"Hey, I know what to do!" Tony says cheerily. "Costume shopping!"

The car is silent for a moment, contemplating the idea.

"That…actually sounds fun," Natasha says at length. "Get our minds off of things, at the very least."

Steve smiles. "It's settled, then." He drives out until they get to the nearest Halloween store, and there are plenty around here considering how close the holiday is getting.

They all break into their own groups, and not the people any outsider would think. It's Tony and Bruce (it has to be, because their costumes are always connected somehow; last year Bruce was a blanket and Tony was a full-body pillow), Pepper and Natasha (girl bonding time), Clint and Loki (gay bonding time), and Steve and Thor (Tony's actually a little skeptical about that, and Thor doesn't want to leave Natasha's side, but it all seems like it's going to work out alright).

Everybody ends up running around for nearly three hours, trying on everything they see and making fun of everybody else. Sometimes the groups of two join into groups of four, and once they all ended up together because they found an entire group of Mario characters (Tony being Mario, Bruce as Luigi, Pepper as Peach, Natasha as Daisy, Steve as the biggest Toad anybody has ever seen, Loki as Yoshi, Thor as Bowser, and Clint as Dry Bones).

In the end, though, they all went for their own approach. Tony managed to find a tiger costume, and they scrounged around until they had all the necessary items for Bruce to be Calvin. Because who doesn't like comic strips? Tony even bought himself fake nails so he could sharpen them into points for claws.

Natasha and Clint must have met up along the way, because they're both in Men In Black style outfits, complete with Clint holding a noisy cricket, Natasha holding up a Series 4 De-Atomizer, and both of them with carbonizers. The fact they both look like they were born for those outfits is only somewhat terrifying.

Pepper does end up being a Mario character. Even though her hair is a strawberry orange color, she pulls off Rosalina rather wonderfully. The blue of her dress is beautiful on her, and she even managed to make it look like she's got a Luma floating over her shoulder thanks to some wire and the like.

Steve, in all his patriotic glory, doesn't actually get anything from the store, because he's been the same thing every year since his father died. He wears his dad's uniform, even though it's too big for him. It will fit better this year, though, because Steve has really gotten diligent on working out. Apparently he's been meeting up with Bucky at the gym, and Bucky is the only one in the entire world that has never once made fun of his size. Not even a friendly joke or a wink here and there. Nothing. Steve thought it was because Bucky didn't want to make him feel bad, but he actually asked him about it and Bucky apparently shrugged and said, "I've honestly never really thought about it. You're good at shooting and you've got a cause that you're really trying for, and that's alright for me. I respect you in every way that I can." And that was when Tony decided that he would probably be shy of a mutual best friend pretty soon.

Thor finds literally _the best_ flying monkey costume that Tony has ever seen. Thing is, he's never actually seen the Wizard of Oz. Tony asked him if Loki was going to be the Wicked Witch of the West (nobody knew where he and Clint were at the time), but Thor frowned and said something about how he didn't understand. Apparently he just saw the costume and thought it looked fun so he grabbed it. Steve was appalled; the Wizard of Oz has been his favorite movie since the dawn of time. He listens to Bing Crosby, too. He really _is_ from the forties.

Loki emerges with his costume last, Clint at his side with his Men in Black costume tucked under his arm. It's cliché, but Loki is a vampire. Tony's got a feeling that he'll look great, though. He's got the hair for it, plus the painted nails and the pale skin. Red contacts are pointless, though, because if you mix green and red you're just going to get brown.

After they've all gotten back in the car and the costumes are all shoved into the trunk, Natasha lets out a little sniffle before bursting into tears. Everybody just soothes her as much as they can from where they are until she's calmed down, and Tony tells her that there's some napkins in the glove compartment if she wants a tissue.

"Thank you," she says, wiping her nose. "I'm…very glad to have all of you. I'm sorry I always treated you all so horribly before. Especially you, Tone, considering."

"Thanks," Tony says, "but speaking of that nickname…" He leans forward so that his face is right next to Clint's. "I want a better one."

Clint smirks. "I'll get on that. But it's got to be perfect, so don't expect one anytime soon."

He nods. "As long as I get one."

**XxX**

_October 13  
Saturday…_

"'Tasha, babe," Tony says as he holds open the door that leads into the house from the garage. "Are you crying _again_?"

Clint smacks the back of his head. "No uterus, no opinion."

Pepper smirks. "Yeah, it is definitely too bad you're gay."

Tony breaks off to go to the bathroom about then, and when he opens the door to come out he's taken aback to see that Bruce is standing right outside and chewing on his fingernails. Tony knows Bruce very well, and when Bruce is chewing on his fingernails, something is _very_ wrong. So he grabs the front of Bruce's shirt and pulls him into the bathroom before shutting it tight.

"What is it?" he asks instantly.

"Clint and Loki are gay, right?" he asks quietly.

Tony frowns. "Yeah?"

"And you know that Pepper used to be slightly bi-curious?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"And you're…okay with all of that?"

Tony sighs. "Is this because I call Clint 'gay boy'?"

Bruce gives a tiny smile. "No, I just assumed that that was you being an ass."

"Yeah, thanks."

"You love me."

"I do. What's wrong?"

He sighs, biting a couple of nails before answering. "I don't know what my sexual orientation is anymore."

Tony chuckles.

"It's not funny."

"Yes it is. All this time you've been making fun of _me_, and you're the one that's been having trouble. That's very rude."

"Tony, please."

"Alright, alright. Why are you questioning it? Starting to hate chicks or is there a guy in particular?"

Tony has never seen Bruce blush so violently—and Tony just _knows_.

"Holy shit," he breathes. "I refuse to hand you over to a guy that wears _leather pants_."

Bruce somehow blushes _more_. "But I _like_ his leather pants."

Tony sighs. "Okay, fine, you can make fun of me for liking someone who beats me up and then calls me gay, that's okay. What do I do to help?"

Bruce frowns. "Help?"

"Yeah, help you guys get together!"

"But I don't know yet! I'm just questioning it…"

"Then pull Pepper's bi-curious card! And if you don't like it, tell him. Have you _seen_ the guy? I doubt he's going to care."

"Tony, I'm not that kind of guy and you know it. I came to you because Pepper already knows and can't help and Steve is the worst with relationships in the world."

"So you came to the biggest ass in school?" Tony laughs, hugging Bruce hard. "I cannot believe we're friends. I love you. I'll have a talk with Clint for you the next time we're alone, okay? Play my 'nosy bitch' card."

Bruce sighs, hugging him back. "I hate you, but I love you."

Upon opening the door, Steve is standing outside.

"Uh…" Tony says.

"How much of that did you hear?" Bruce squeaks.

"None of it," Steve says. "And you're chewing your nails, so I know you were just talking." He looks at Tony. "Now it's my turn, and I'm pretty sure Loki is next."

Tony sighs. "Come on in, then."

When the door is shut, Steve bunkers down on the floor. His eyes are hard, so Tony sits down too, because he'll probably be here for a while.

"What did I do _now_?" Tony asks.

Steve sighs, softening a bit. "Would you please just kiss already?"

"I—who?"

"Don't you dare make me say it."

Tony groans. "Steve, no! I like _girls_. I like _boobs_. I like _Natasha_. Loki and Natasha are almost as from each other as you can _get_."

"No, Tony, you don't. You haven't looked at her once in the way you always do since she moved in with you. You ditch us for Loki, you stare at Loki like he's the reason you get up every morning, and you don't yell at him when he wakes you up in the morning or steals your food. Tony, you don't like Natasha. Think about it. The way you _locked eyes_ with him today…"

Tony's entire face heats up at that. "No. We were just caught in the crossfire of Natasha and Thor's make out session. That was nothing."

Steve looks almost painfully sad as he stands. "If that's all you think it is, then so be it." He leaves.

Tony stares after him. What just happened?

Loki walks in. "You left your phone in the back. Phil texted you. I didn't read it."

Tony jumps up and takes it, reading the text:

**Car crash. Not fatal, but ow. Come see me?**

Tony texts as he walks towards the door: **Coming now.**

"Tony?"

Tony nearly trips over his own feet. He's never heard Loki sound so…small. So broken. "Are you okay?" he asks, instantly at his side again.

Loki nods. "I lied. I did read it. Can I come with you?"

Tony's never seen him _look_ so small and broken, so he smiles brightly. "Yeah, you can be my not-date to the hospital. Come on."

When he gets back to the door that leads out to the garage, he stops, because there's Steve and Thor, just _staring_ at them on the stairs. Only then does Tony realizes that he had grabbed Loki's hand. Loki seems to get it, and they very subtly let go of each other and walk out of the door without a word to the blonde's.

"That's literally what he was just talking to me about," Tony mutters in the garage.

Loki frowns as they get into Tony's Audi R8. "Holding my hand?"

"No, about my being gay as balls and not realizing it."

Loki nods. "One of _those_ talks…"

"Yeah, turn on my radio and let's talk about something else."

It doesn't take very long to get to the hospital and then be allowed access to Phil's single room, Loki holding onto the back of Tony's shirt the entire way. T can't tell if it's cute or annoying.

"Oh, my baby!" Tony cries, rushing to Phil's side. "What _happened_?" He grabs the clipboard with all of the info on it and Phil laughs and tells him:

"It's nothing too bad, I just sprained my left wrist. Some drunk teenager ran into my back bumper on a turn and pushed me into a ditch. Thank goodness for seatbelts." He turns and winks at Loki. "A lesson for you, kids. Anyway, I think the airbag bruised my nose a little, but they say its fine. It hurts anyway."

Tony bends down and kisses it. "All better!"

Phil laughs, shoving him away. "Oh, get away from me."

Tony grins evilly and wiggles his fingers. "Maybe I'll just tickle you a little…"

"No!"

Tony does anyway, attacking his neck and stomach, careful not to bump his wrist. Phil absolutely _howls_ until a nurse peaks in and shushes them.

That's when Tony sees Loki's smirk, too. "Sure you two ain't got a little somethin'-somethin' goin' down?" he asks with an eyebrow wag.

"No _way_," Tony says at the same time Phil laughs, "Definitely _not_!"

Loki laughs. "Come on, guys, _I'm_ good at lying, but you are _not_."

Tony rolls his eyes and Phil snorts. "Right. Anyway, Mr. Laufeygard—"

Tony growls. "Jarvis called you, didn't he?"

"Tone, Jarvis calls me almost every day. He knew about me like this before you even did."

"Yeah, no phone privileges for a _week_ for that guy."

"He'll just hack through it. Anyway, Loki, you decided to tag along too?"

Loki shrugs.

Tony scoffs. "You should have seen your _face_."

Loki frowns in confusion, and Tony instantly regrets bringing it up. Most people don't like to be told that they look small and broken.

"Wait, never mind," Tony quick sputters. "That was a…different time."

Loki gives the small look. "Tone, even Thor lies better than you, and Thor's an _idiot_."

Tony latches onto the subject change like a lifeline: "He's not _that_ bad. He did pretty good today, and he and Natasha probably had a really intense conversation about if it Thor's 'remember the reasons' made her go through with it."

Phil knows Tony very well, so Phil knows when Tony is trying to change the subject, and he knows when to help. So: "Oh, was that today? How'd it go?"

Tony's done a lot of latching lately. "Oh, it went great! We were there for a total of two hours, and then she had a bit of a headache, but we went costume shopping and she was alright until we got back in the car and she started crying. She'll be alright, though; she's tough. Her and Thor are probably watching chick flicks now; maybe with the others."

"Chick flicks?" Phil looks at Loki. "Can you give us two minutes?"

Loki nods. "I'll pee." He closes the door behind him.

"What happened?"

Tony speaks without hinder: "Natasha declared her love for Thor and Loki and I accidentally made eye contact and there were so many feelings and shit, Phil, I'm not gay but maybe Steve is right and there is at least something there and I just don't know what to _do_."

Phil nods. "There is. I'm just saying it now. There is."

Tony nods back. "Steve is going to kill me." He groans. "_Steve_. Phil, I'm losing my friends! Steve, Bruce, Pepper… Ever since _Loki_. Don't get me wrong, I adore the guy _now_, but because of him and his friends and brother I'm losing my old friends and I feel like an ass."

Phil shrugs. "Take them bowling. Go shooting with Steve. Finish C3P-O with Bruce. Go shopping with Pepper. You have the time, Tony, you just have to use it."

Tony nods. "Yeah…maybe I'll take them bowling right now! And I'll drive Loki to Peter's or something." He sighs. "Lordy, that guy hates me."

Phil smiles. "I know. I overheard him talking to it about with Miss Stacy."

"Really? What did he say?"

"Not much. Just that he wishes someone named Victor was back."

Tony cringes. "That's Loki's ex boyfriend."

Phil grimaces. "Ooh, sorry."

"Yeah, but they won't be getting back together anytime soon. He's in a mental hospital."

He grimaces again. And that's really all there is to say about that, especially because Loki comes back with a knock on the door.

"Clint texted me," he says. "He says your mom wants to know if you and I will be back for dinner."

"Uh. If it's ready now, no. If it'll be ready in half an hour, though, we can make it."

Loki nods and sits down on the floor to text Clint back.

And Tony just stares at him, because if there are feelings there, he's supposed to feel them _all_ the time, right? Not just when he and Loki are making eye contact. So if there's nothing, then there's not really anything and Tony is just sexually deprived.

Tony notices everything. The speed of Loki's thin, pale fingers over the keys of his shitty little flip phone, and the way his emerald green eyes scan over the tiny screen. His tongue darting out to wet just enough of his lips that they're not sticking together, and the way he briefly reaches up to tuck his hair behind his ear so it's out of his face. The way the hair falls back out and he does it all over again.

And just like that, Tony knows that he's fucked. Now all Loki has to do is force his way between Tony's crush on Natasha. And the way things are going…well, that may very well happen.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: 1. _"No uterus, no opinion."_ This line, said by Clint to Tony, is something I totally stole from Friends.


	9. Checkmate

**9: Checkmate**

_Two Weeks Later  
October 27  
Saturday…_

Two weeks pass. Fourteen entire days. The sexual tension between Tony and Loki is literally painful. Tony still doesn't know what he's doing and Loki must just be shy, or maybe he assumes Tony doesn't feel anything back. But how could he? Every touch and glance is like an icy burst of frost and _magic_ and Tony hates it.

Other than that, though, it's all going rather well. Tony met Bucky when he went shooting with Steve a couple of times, and the guy's perfect for Steve, so at least Tony knows that his best friend can replace him happily if Tony starts neglecting him again. Also, he and Peggy are _shamelessly_ flirting at Baskin Robbins now. Tony's very proud.

He and Bruce _do_ finally finish C3P-O, and they have a bit of a "lab cleaning party". Throwing out old experiments and organizing things by table and cleaning up DUM-E and Jarvis's main power centers. And the most amazing thing? They get drunk one day, high with Clint another, and on other days they _do their homework_.

Loki of course has no idea about the first two because he's been spending time with Peter and Gwen. They still see tons of each other, though, since they're still living together. Tony's hardly ever noticed, but ever since Loki… Well, he drinks every once in a while, but he's basically quit the whole thing. Tony doesn't really get addicted to things. He did a bunch of drugs in his sophomore year, but when he wanted to stop, he just did. That simple. And one time Thor put him in the hospital for three days and he had to be on some intense pain meds, and the doc told horrible stories of people getting addicted to the stuff. Tony remembers laughing, and hey, he's laughing now.

He went shopping with Pepper, and oops he skipped the last chess tournament on the twentieth (to be honest he's planning on not doing them anymore; if he doesn't care and nobody wants him there, then why go? He's busy these days anyway), and this week he even went to Pepper's cake decorating class on Wednesday. He already bought her a generally expensive dress after she beat all of him, Steve, Bruce, and Clint at blowing.

Oh yeah, Clint's been trailing Bruce around like a damn puppy. Or a guard wolf. Tony's not sure. He also made sure that Bruce is okay with it, and oops he forgot to talk to Clint about that… He'll do that now. He's presently just playing Halo 4 with Natasha. Steve, Pepper, Bruce, and Thor are all at their respective homes, and Loki is at Peter or Gwen's, and Clint is taking a nap on Tony's bed.

"Jay," Tony says. "Tell me if gay boy wakes up."

"Of course, sir. May I question as to why?"

He pauses Halo and turns to Natasha. "Nat and I have some things to discuss."

She cocks an eyebrow. "Him and…?"

"My Brucey-kins."

Tony's only seen her smile so bright a handful of times. "Do you remember a few weeks ago when Loki told you about Doomers? Er, Victor. Sorry, I actually like the nickname."

Tony nods. "Yeah."

"And he said that Clint started getting edgy for a reason he didn't know at the time but now does?"

"Yeah…"

She grins. "It was because he started crushing on Bruce."

Tony's jaw drops. "You're kidding."

"I'm totally not. You liked me a lot, I know that, but—"

"Like. Present tense."

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, sure. Anyway, I know you liked me a lot, but he likes Bruce more than you've _ever_ liked me."

"Wow, really? Why? I mean…what reasons? They really don't have that much in common, do they?"

"Nope, but neither do you and Loki."

Tony blinks at her steadily. "You know, Thor is literally the only person that has never made a joke about him and I getting together."

"Yeah, because he and Loki are brothers and Loki would kill him. We talk about it all the time."

"Well quit it. Why does Clint like him?"

"I don't know the details, but he thinks he's adorable, and because he's generally quiet, and also because Clint sees him topping. Clint's a puppy and he wants a bear. Bear's are pretty docile unless their young are threatened."

Tony frowns. "Are you suggesting that Bruce is a mother bear that's adopted a puppy as her child?"

"No, but yes. Clint wants him because he feels safe around him."

"But…how did he feel safe around him before he became friends with him? I'm not sure if feeling that aura while beating Steve and I up is even possible."

"It's not, but he caught little snippets of Bruce's day. They have two classes together, after all, and it doesn't help that one of those is gym so he gets to see him change everyday."

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "Pervert."

"Hey, he tries not to look, okay? It's getting better now, since he and Bruce just change next to each other now that they're friends, so he can just focus on his face when they're talking instead of trying not to be caught looking even in that direction. Anyway, he had his schedule memorized before he had his _own_ down, he attempts to draw him when he thinks nobody is looking—and I say attempts because he is _not_ an artist. Things like that."

"That's not very much."

"Yeah? Give me some good reasons as to why you like _me_."

Tony purses his lips. "Irrelevant."

She rolls her eyes. "Is Bruce gay too?"

Tony purses his lips. "He's not really sure."

"Well, contrary to popular belief, Clint is not a playboy and would not want to be an experiment. How long as Bruce been questioning it?"

"I…don't actually know. At least two weeks, because that's when he told me, but he said it started a while ago. Probably a month? I don't know."

"That's long enough for what I'm thinking of doing."

He grins. "Does this mean we get to play matchmaker?"

"This means you call up your science buddy and tell him to get his ass over here so they can bone."

Tony nods. "Good plan." He whips out his phone and calls up Bruce.

"Hello?"

"Brucey! Guess who has a crush on you!"

Bruce sputters a little before "You're kidding!" gets out.

"Nope, Natasha told me all about it. Do you know about your predicament yet?"

Bruce sighs. Not a "shit, no I haven't at all" sort of sigh. A very happy sigh. "Tony, I hate him, but he's…he's amazing!"

"Good. Get over here. He's sleeping on my bed."

Silence before a quiet, "Let me show first."

"Kay."

Bruce doesn't show up for another thirty minutes, in which Tony and Natasha have transferred over to playing Left 4 Dead. The instant that his eyes land on Clint's sleeping form, he clenches up.

"I don't think I can do this," he says.

"Nonsense!" Tony says, slapping his ass to get him moving. "Just ask him out to dinner tonight."

Clint never did get that job at the bookstore, but Tony was able to get him a nightshift job at his favorite marked about ten minutes away. It sells everything—_everything_. From normal things like food and clothing and cards and pet food to having an entire bookstore to a movie store to cleaning supplies to a pharmacy to board games, and hell, they even sell home appliances and furniture. It's the biggest fucking building he's ever been inside, complete with stories and escalators and elevators. It's like a mall, but better because it's just one big store. Clint actually feels bad for mooching off of Tony, so he took the job in a heartbeat. Tony's mom (who everybody loves) even pays him to do the dishes sometimes. Howard scolds her, but she ignores him. They've done a lot more of ignoring each other lately. Tony's pretty sure they're sleeping in different rooms. Anyway, that's why Clint's always so tired and why he takes a lot of naps. He doesn't get much sleep at night.

Bruce stumbles over, takes a deep breath, and kneels down so that his face is level with Clint's. "Hey," he says, shaking him a bit. "Wake up, little bird."

Clint stretches out like a puppy (like a cat, but clumsier) before opening his eyes slowly, and even Tony swoons a little. The warm, tired smile that the guy gives to Bruce is breathtaking. "Hi," he says around a yawn.

Bruce chuckles softly. "Do you want to go get a pizza or something?"

There's that smile again, bigger now. "Yeah," he breathes. "Just us?"

"Just us," Bruce repeats.

Tony expected more smiles, but no. Clint leans forward and kisses Bruce very lightly. And then he pulls away, like it's something they've been doing all along. When he leans in for a second, though, it _starts out_ light, but they end up practically tackling each other, Bruce crawling up onto the bed and blankets being shoved roughly aside.

"Well, that was easy," Natasha says, moving to go back to Left 4 Dead.

Tony claps loudly. "Alright, alright, not on _my_ bed, you two!" he calls. "Go to _Clint's_ room."

They stumble past, just barely not tripping as their lips are locked fervently together. Tony laughs, swatting at Bruce's ass again.

"Don't forget to use protection!" he yells. "Clint probably has herpes!"

Almost comically, Thor and Loki are walking up the stairs just as they run down. Thor must have picked him up from Peter's.

"What did we miss, precisely?" Thor asks.

Tony shrugs, the bedroom door shutting behind them. "Bruce woke him up to go get pizza and Clint kissed him."

"Finally," the blonde huffs, lifting Natasha up with ease before sitting her back down on his lap. "They have been eye-fucking all week."

"Not as long as some, Mr. Asgard," Jarvis says.

Thor doesn't get it, Natasha bursts into laughter, Loki blushes, and Tony mutes him even though the AI can get around it.

"We haven't played chess in a while," Tony says, grabbing the board.

"Yeah, let's play," Loki says, grabbing the pieces. "I've been practicing to beat you."

Tony chuckles as they set up on his bed. "Good luck."

Tony doesn't really pay attention to the games they play. He works on some R2-D2 blueprints and writes notes on an older blueprint for a lightsaber he has tacked on his ceiling.

"Hey, Tone," Natasha calls. Tony turns to see her holding up his Nintendo DS. "I beat Magus in Chrono Trigger for you."

Tony smiles. "Awesome, I've been trying to get past him for ages. I need my cheat code files."

"And…?"

"'And' what?"

"I deserve a thank you, I think."

Tony and Loki both laugh.

"I don't think anyone—"

"Except Pepper," Loki finishes.

She huffs, going back to it as Thor rubs her back. "Fine."

A few more games of chess pass before Loki speaks again: "Checkmate."

"Hmm?" Tony says absentmindedly, penciling in something on one of the blueprints he keeps on the ceiling above his bed.

"Checkmate."

"Sorry, sorry," Tony says, realizing he's still totally not listening. He pulls his hands away from the ceiling and looks over at Loki. "Is it my turn?"

"No. I won. Checkmate."

Tony blinks at him. "Ex–excuse me?"

"Look at the board, Tone."

Tony looks down. And it's true. Checkmate. Loki's won. He's actually won.

"Perfect timing, too," Loki says. "Peter will be here in five minutes to pick me up for some family party that Gwen is making us go to." He swings off of the bed. Tony just keeps staring at the board, absolutely incredulous, as Loki slips on his shoes and gathers up his things. "See you tomorrow!"

Loki is out of the bedroom before Tony springs to life. He runs out after him, leaping onto the banister and sliding down. Loki is already stepping off the bottom flight when Tony gets to him, sliding in front of him in his socks on the tile floor.

"How did you do that?" Tony asks, staring up at Loki.

"By playing the game," Loki grins, continuing on to the door. "I used to my advantage the fact that you're a cocky son of a gun who wasn't paying attention to the game. I didn't even cheat."

"Bitch, Loki. Gun is something Steve would say. I just…no one has ever beaten me before, Lo'. _Ever_."

Loki smiles, pulling open the front door. Peter's car is already waiting outside. "I know," he says, walking out.

"Loki," Tony says out after him.

Loki stops about a yard and a half from the door, pivoting on his heels to give Tony a sort of smug look. "I'm holding up my best friend, Tony. Is there anything _intelligent_ you would like to say?"

Tony says it without a second thought: "Thank you."

Loki stares at him. And suddenly it must not matter that his best friend is waiting in the car for him, because he drops his things and all but flies across the space between him and Tony. His hands attach themselves to the sides of Tony's face as he bends down to kiss him, eyes drifting shut in bliss.

Tony takes about a second more to register what's going on, his eyes staying wide in all of that time in a sort of "wait what" kind of way. But then they drift shut even slower than Loki's had, and his hands reach up slowly from his pockets to grip onto Loki's sides.

The taller boy pushes his tongue into Tony's mouth, everything about the kiss a hungry, desperate scene. Tony never wants it to stop. He wants to have him right at this doorstep and lordy he barely stops himself because for the first time in his entire life, Tony Stark actually wants to be romantic. He wants candles and roses and, hell, maybe even some Helen Jane Long keying along in the background. Piano's and violin's are romantic, right?

But that's when the horn of Peter's car honks again, and they separate their faces by about an inch.

"I have to go," Loki breathes. "I'll be back at eighty-thirty, but make sure everybody is out by eight so you can get ready for me."

A ripple goes through Tony's entire body. "Eight. Eighty-thirty. Got it."

Loki smiles, dropping his hands to pull Tony's hands off of his waist before pecking him on the lips once before turning around. He quick gathers up his things, turning around to smile at Tony before he starts walking to the car again.

Tony can't help it. He runs outside and spins Loki around, kissing him again about halfway from the house to the car. It's softer than the first one. They don't even use their tongues. It's just lips, soft and warm and slightly swollen from the first kiss.

But then Peter honks again, and Loki has to pull away again. "I really have to go," he breathes, pulling away from Tony. "Eight-thirty!" he says.

Tony had their hands together, and he reaches them out as far as he can so he can drag out the touch. He sees Peter's face for a brief second as Loki crawls in, completely indecipherable at their distance.

As soon as the car is out of sight, Tony runs to the garage, leaping into his car and speeding off to the very store that Clint works nightshift at. It's only until he's walking inside that he realizes he's still in his socks. It doesn't really matter, though. He's here often enough that almost all of the employees know him, and they know better than to reprimand Tony fucking Stark for not wearing shoes in their store with so much money in his pocket. Good thing his wallet was just in his pocket or he would have forgotten that too.

A basket in his hands, Tony fills it with a bouquet of roses (placed strategically so as not to be squished), vanilla scented candles (he remembers Loki saying specifically that vanilla is mostly his favorite everything back at Baskin Robbins), condoms (Tony is regularly tested, but he has no idea about Loki), tissues (he needs some more anyway for all the movies he cries while watching; he can't believe he ever questioned why people thought he was gay), lubricant, and chocolates (he probably won't even save any of those for Loki…he just sort of wants to eat some right now).

There are about eight million check-out lines open, every one of them filled to the brim. They're always filled, no matter how many are open or how late it is. Seriously, Tony was here at three in the morning once for their twenty-four hour deals and they still had to have about four check-out stands open.

So Tony picks the smallest one he can find. It takes ages, and when he finally gets up there he sees that his cashier is a woman. Good, females understand romance a bit better. He'll have a polite conversation instead of a quick laugh about "would you like a bag sir" "no man he's not that ugly" "ha-ha-ha but do you want a bag or not" "yes please".

She smiles at him as he lays everything out, smile slowly growing brighter and brighter until Tony sets out the lube. That's when it falters slightly.

"Problem?" Tony asks darkly. He's never seen this employee before. She doesn't know who he is, probably. People her age don't usually read Wall Street type magazines or things with Tony and his father on the front page about the feat of Tony inventing something new.

But her smile lights up almost instantly again. "Not a single one," she says, ringing the items up. "And if my girlfriend were here, she wouldn't have one either."

Tony can't help but smile back. "I knew I picked the right line."

"First time?" she asks, gesturing to the roses.

He laughs awkwardly. "Yeah. Gotta be perfect and all that blah, blah, blah kind of stuff. I'm not very good with the whole romantic thing, so I just grabbed everything they use in the movies."

"Trust me, nobody in real life uses any of this stuff anymore. I'm sure he'll love it."

Tony pays and leaves with a smile, speeding off back home. He bursts into his bedroom with a big bag in his hands and the roses cradled in the other, a vase balancing on his fingertips that he snagged from the kitchen.

Thor and Natasha pause in their fervent make out session on the couch, staring up at him. "Finally sprucing up your room from its dull grays, browns, and blues?" Thor asks.

Tony sticks his tongue out at him, pushing some things aside on one of his tables and setting on the open space what's in his hands.

"Who are the roses for?"

"No one," Tony says, putting the roses in the vase (how he managed to carry it with one finger when it was filled with water he'll never know) so they stay alive until Loki gets back. "Now, out, out, out, this has to be perfect."

Natasha smirks at him. "Who kissed who first?" she asks.

Tony rolls his eyes. "He kissed me."

"Ooh, I never saw _you_ as a bottom."

Tony rolls his eyes at her. "Shush, now. I paid for your abortion."

Even Thor chuckles. Tony's glad they can laugh about it now. The blonde was a wreck at first.

"Would you find Bruce and Clint, too?" Tony asks.

"Of course," the happy couple says, standing up and making their way towards the door.

"Oh, Thor," Tony says, smirking at him. "Zipper's down."

Natasha giggles as Thor awkwardly pulls his zipper up. Tony doesn't even want to contemplate what they got into while he was gone. _Haha…into. Into Thor's pant._ Tony thinks. _Okay I'm not funny._

He grabs onto Natasha's shoulder just as they're about out of the room. "Seriously, Nat. This has to be perfect. I want all four of you out of here. If Clint and my Brucey-kins are doing the dirty deed, though, just slip a note under the door that they should be out by eight-fifteen. _Please_. Tell them that they can go to Bruce's place for the night, and you can go to Thor's."

Natasha shakes Tony's hand off of her shoulder and reaches to his wrist to look at his watch. "That gives them just more than an hour. Got it."

And she's off, Thor giving Tony a suspicious look as he goes. Does he know that it's going to be Loki coming back? He must. Who else would it be?

With a happy sigh, Tony can't help but just set everything up now. He leaves the roses where they are, but he lifts up the chess board (keeping the pieces intact as he moves it out of the way) from the bed so he can make it up just right. Then he sets up the candles and sets the lube and condoms on the nightstand, and he eats half the chocolates before confirming to himself that no he will not share, and he puts the lid back on before shoving them underneath his bed.

Then what else can he do? So until eight-fifteen he tinkers around with some unfinished projects in a restless way, stopping every four minutes to simply stare at the chess board to confirm to himself time and time again that, yes, Loki did in fact beat him. Damn.

At eighty-twenty-five he pulls rose petals off before tossing them strategically around the room and the bed.

At promptly eight-thirty, Tony fidgets his way down the banisters to the front door, pacing around in front of it like he's going to explode.

His phone pings, and he checks the text to see that, thank the lord, it's from Loki:

**5 mins.**

That's all it says, and Tony doesn't think he can wait that long. So he flings open the door and just leans against the frame, letting himself be calmed slowly down by the cool breeze that rifles through his hair. Maybe he should have changed, or at least put on different socks…they're rather dirty with asphalt markings, now. Oh well.

Peter's car pulls up a moment later and Loki steps out, giving Tony a smile before he bends down and waves goodbye to his best friend while saying who knows what else. He hasn't changed his clothes either, and he doesn't have any of the things he brought with him. He walks quickly across the yard and to the sidewalk leading up to the house, all but leaping into Tony's arms and practically knocking them backwards in the kiss.

Tony kisses him back hard just long enough that he can't breathe anymore, but then he pulls away and takes Loki's hand so that they can race up the stairs together. He wants to race right inside, but he stops right outside of the door instead.

"I…may or may not have gone overboard," he says, shrugging.

Loki tilts his head slightly, pressing his back up against the door and looking down at him with a look of somehow muted lust. "Yeah?" he whispers, pushing the fingers of one hand through Tony's hair. "Like what?"

Tony bites his bottom lip and resists the urge to pull a Clint and press up into his touch. "Why don't you just go in and see it? I just wanted to give you a heads up?"

Loki smiles warmly before pushing open the door, walking inside and swiftly coming to a dead halt. "Oh my word," he says, a hand going to his open jaw. "Are those…_rose pedals_? And _candles_? Tony this is…" He turns and smiles brightly down at him. "So classic! I love it!"

Tony grins brightly. "My lesbian cashier thought so too."

And everything is perfect. Its Loki's first time with anyone and Tony's first time with someone of the same sex, so Tony is clumsy pushing in, but they don't notice until after and start joking tiredly about it. But everything is perfect, with the scent of vanilla and roses all through the room and Tony's A-grade condoms. Tony wraps Loki tightly in his arms, and this is the first time that he's ever _slept_ with anyone after _sleeping_ with them, because other times they had to go home or they weren't even in a place they _could_ sleep. And Tony knows it's perfect, because Loki tells him it is. And those simple words make sleeping so much easier.

**XxX**

_October 28  
Sunday…_

The next morning, Tony is awoken to the sound of driving cars—a sound that Tony instantly places as Mario Kart. Obviously this waking up to video games is going to be an increasingly reoccurring event. He grabs his phone to check the time (yes, ten-forty is an appropriate time to wake up on the weekend) and the one text message he has, from Phil:

**Doing anything today?**

Tony replies: **No plans right now, but I just woke up. Heads up, Lo' and I finally hooked up last night. It's just us here right now if you wanna come over.**

He waits in silence for Phil's reply, which is: **Yeah, Jay told me. I'll be there within the hour.**

Tony rolls his eyes at Jarvis before swinging naked out of bed, walking over to the couch to see that Loki is in the exact same position he was in the last time he stayed over: upside down. He's wearing his boxer briefs, but no pants, and a shirt that Tony doesn't recognize—but that's probably because it's slipped down to pool around his neck since he's upside down.

"I'm going to need to get more Mario games, aren't I?" he asks with a smile.

Loki yelps and falls over, quick pausing the game so he doesn't go off the track. "Tony!" he says brightly, leaping up onto the couch so that he's kneeling and facing Tony. "I'm sorry. I hate sleeping."

Tony smirks at him. "As long as you're good at not waking me up when you get out of the bed, which you are, then we're all good, so we are."

He smiles brightly. "Did you sleep well?"

"Amazing, thanks. Yourself?"

He bites onto his bottom lip, still smiling. "A lot better than when I was on the couch."

"Mmm," Tony says, leaning closer. "Good."

They kiss softly, Tony resting his hands on Loki's hips and Loki draping his arms over Tony's shoulders.

"This is definitely happening more often," Tony breathes when they pull away, crawling over the back of the couch to sit down beside him.

"What, playing video games naked?" Loki says with a laugh.

Tony chuckles. "Yes, exactly. And we can…" He trails off, just then getting a good look at Loki's shirt. "Hey. That's the Black Sabbath shirt."

Loki grins brightly. "Yup."

Tony smirks at him, picking up the Wii remote to end the game so they can do a multiplayer round. "It looks way better on you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, because you're already hot, but wearing my clothes is hot as _fuck_."

Loki grins, swiping another remote from the floor to be player two. "I'm glad you think so. Do you think you'd fit in _my_ shirt?" He bends over the other side of the couch to produce it.

Tony looks at it. A sort of dark teal colored v-neck? "Dude, Thor could probably fit in that thing. Give it here."

Loki laughs, slipping it over Tony's head. "Yup," he says, looking Tony over. "You're right. Hot as fuck."

"Ooh, I'm corrupting you. I don't like it."

They play one course with Loki sitting up straight and he ends up in ninth place, so he growls something under his breath and flips upside down again for the next course and gets first.

"That is so weird," Tony says, clicking on Mushroom Gorge. "If I played upside down I would end up in twelfth because I started going backwards or something."

"I'm kind of a weird guy," Loki says. "I do everything better upside down."

"Yeah? I'll have to test that someti—HEY! You pushed me off the ledge."

Loki smirks. "I did."

"We're playing teams! We're on the _same_ team!"

"So?"

"There's no 'I' in team, 'Lo."

"There are two in 'I do what I want'."

Right then, the door bursts open.

"Hey, Tone! Since I accidentally broke my last one I got…"

Tony and Loki look up to see Phil trailing off, taking in the scene before him that is half naked Tony, upside down and without pants Loki, and Mario Kart paused on the screen—because no matter the situation, no matter how awkward it is or how much trouble you're in, you can _always_ build up the ability to pause your game of Mario Kart.

"…a new DVD of the Princess Bride?" Phil finishes, covering his eyes with a hand. "Um, hi, I didn't know, sorry, I mean I know you got together finally but—"

"Dude, Phil, uncover your eyes," Tony says as Loki sits straight up again. "It's not like you haven't seen me naked before."

"That was on accident," Phil says, dropping his hand. "You were walking around after your shower and were too lazy to put on any clothes."

Tony shrugs. "Anyway, awesome, we'll have to watch it. Also, yes, we had sex—and hell to the motherfucking _yes_ was I the one topping, so don't try and picture me a submitter. Anyway, the candles went out last night and the rose petals are probably all wilted. Want to play with us?"

Phil bursts into laughter. "Loki, you are never going to survive this," he says, looking around Tony.

Loki grins at him. "I know. It'll be great."

**XxX**

_October 28  
Sunday…_

Tony gets bored of Mario Kart sometimes. So, Tony goes on the Internet and does things ranging from watching cat videos to learning about World War II calculators. Today was watching Megamind with headphones in, because the guy's a villain with fashion sense _and_ music taste.

But movies get boring too, so mostly he just watches cat videos. His computer is state of the art, obviously, and from the couch it's completely hidden behind shelves and speakers and other things Tony has around his computer so he never has to get up for hours if he doesn't feel like it. There's a tiny little hole, though, that he can see the TV screen through. Thing is, Loki is sitting right in the middle of it, so instead he's got an eyeful of raven black locks sticking out in multiple directions.

And then he gets an idea.

It takes a few minutes to find it, but he does. He's a genius, how couldn't he? It also may be the fact that it's extremely easy to find, but still. Tony finds where Loki's parents are buried. It's almost an insult, but both of them are buried right next to each other. It doesn't have a picture of their graves, but it's just a short article that says where they're buried and when they died and all that.

"Hey, Lo'?" Tony says, rolling out from behind the shelves so Loki will be able to see him.

Phil is tinkering with some of Tony's experiments, so Loki is attempting to learn how to play Minecraft on his own as he pauses it and turns around. "Yeah?"

"When's your birthday again?"

"January fourth. Why?"

Tony bites his bottom lip. "When was the last time you visited your mother's grave?"

Loki frowns. "I've never been there. I don't even know where it is. I refused to know."

Tony nods. "Well, I mean, if you want to know now… I have it up."

Loki has never moved so fast, bouncing over and plopping onto Tony's lap. He just _stares_ for a minute before clicking around until he's in Google maps, and then he figures out just how far away the cemetery is from Tony's house.

"Four hours away…" he whispers, tracing his finger up the path. Tony would usually tell people not to touch the screen, but he can make an exception.

Tony wraps his arms around Loki's waist and rests his chin lightly on his shoulder, not caring that Loki is holding onto his arm too tight. He turns Loki so that he's straddling him when he starts to sniffle, giving Phil's concerned face an "I got this" sort of look so he'll make it look like he's ignoring them.

"Thank you," he whispers, leaning back to push his fingers through Tony's hair. Tony's beginning to crave it, now. "For caring enough about me to look up something so…" He waves his hand through the air in search of a word. "Important works, I suppose. Something so important and yet so painful that nobody wants to talk about it with me. You're one in a million, you know?"

Tony resists the urge to say "actually, I'm one in _seven billion_, but thanks" and instead gives a warm smile and says, "You're welcome."

Loki's eyes suddenly become quizzical. "Didn't you date Pepper once?"

Tony snorts. "Yeah, in our sophomore year. We stayed friends, though it was tense at first. We're fine now, obviously. Why?"

He shrugs. "It just popped into my head. Has Steve ever had a girlfriend? And Bruce?"

Tony chuckles. "Steve? A girlfriend? Yeah right. He's really shy and _really_ terrible with girls. If it wasn't for me fanning the flames under him and Peggy they probably wouldn't have even looked at each other. It's a good thing Peggy's not one of those girls that only goes for looks and likes a personality, or he'd be in trouble. And Bruce…well, Bruce had one girlfriend in freshman year, named Betty Ross, but that ended…messy. He got into a fight with her dad and put him in the hospital for a few days, so the family got a restraining order. She doesn't go to school with us anymore."

Loki grimaces. "Ouch. What about Pepper?"

Tony chuckles again. "Altogether she's had four boyfriends and a mutually experimental girlfriend that failed epically. She's single right now, but she's got her eye on her English partner. She calls him Happy, but I don't know about him. Seems her type from what I've heard, but that's about it."

Loki nods. "Natasha and Thor have been together since they were eleven, though not officially until they were thirteen, and I met Peter and Gwen when they were dating, too. Clint, though…" He breathes a laugh. "Well, other than when he dated Viki—um, Victor he's had two or three boyfriends and a mutually experimental girlfriend. He stayed gay and she stayed lesbian."

Tony laughs. "What was her name? Maybe I know her."

"Probably not. Peter does, spectacularly, but not very well. Victoria Hand ring a bell?"

Tony racks his brain but comes up empty. "Nope."

"Who was Pepper's?"

"I…don't know much about her. Sif something?"

Loki's jaw drops. "You're kidding."

"Wow, you really know her? That's amazing. How?"

"Thor and I met her at a summer camp we went to before fourth grade. I haven't seen her since and or even thought about her." He laughs. "Small world."

Phil and Jarvis break into song literally at the same time: "IIIIT'S A SMALL WORLD AAAFTER ALL!"

Loki hums along, but Tony just plugs his ears and says, "What circle of Dante's Inferno did you all crawl from?!"

"Oh shush, you love us," Loki says, pushing his fingers through Tony's hair again.

"Mmm, true…"

They kiss languidly as Phil and Jarvis continue to sing, Phil taking harmony and Jarvis filling in the holes.

"About your parents, though…" Tony says, pulling away to look him in the eyes. "We could go, if you want. Go down, stay the night, visit them, and drive back. Do you want to? We could. We can."

Loki bites onto his bottom lip. "Can I get back to you on that?"

Tony nods fervently. "Of course. Take your time. All the way to your birthday if you want. That's why I asked, but that's in a few months, soo. We can—"

Loki puts a finger over Tony's mouth. "If Phil wasn't here," he whispers into Tony's ear, "I would demand you in your bed."

Tony grins. Loki is…perfect. He's attractive, funny, adorable… Lordy, and he's all Tony's. "I could kick him out," he whispers back.

Loki shakes his head. "I'll live. You may not, but I will." He crawls off of Tony's lap and starts walking back over to the couch. "Does anyone want to teach me how to play Portal? This potato thing on the back of the case is freaking me out."

Phil and Tony laugh, and Tony instantly refuses. He's played and beaten the whole of both Portal games so many times that he's sick of it. "I will," Phil says, walking over. He always wears suits to school, but whenever he's at Tony's he ends up in faded blue jeans, an old t-shirt, and flip flops. It's the end of October, so it'd cold, but he wears open toed shoes anyway.

Tony smiles at them through the little hole as Phil teaches him what buttons to push, and he realizes he couldn't ask for anything better. He's got his boyfriend (Loki), best friend (Steve), surrogate mother (Pepper), surrogate father (Phil), science buddy (Bruce), real mother (Maria), a rich dad (Howard), intimidating friend so nobody picks on him (Thor), fellow asshole (Clint), and his surrogate little sister (Natasha). Clint and him may be fellow _gay_ assholes, but Tony's pretty sure he's bisexual, because who doesn't like boobs? And he still cares deeply for Natasha, it's just…suddenly Loki's all he wants and that care for her is on another level. Tony would do anything to protect her and keep her happy, and big brothers do that for their little sisters, don't they? They pick on them and keep them safe, and that's exactly how Tony treats Natasha.

Wow, what a family. Two moms, two dads, and a sister. Before this, Tony's life was… Different. He had his two moms and two dads, best friend, and science buddy, but somehow it was…less. With no real friends outside of Steve, Bruce, Pepper, and Phil and then three enemies that would constantly beat him up, his life felt emptier. He drank more and didn't socialize with either of his parents, and now Loki's gotten him to stop (apart form the occasional drunk night with Bruce) and he actually kisses his mother goodbye on the cheek sometimes—not to mention not getting beat up anymore.

And all because Loki forced himself in. Tony didn't notice it at first, but there _was_ somebody forcing their way between him and his crush for Natasha. And Loki finally got there, all because he beat Tony at a game of chess. All with one, simple little word: _checkmate_.

**XxX**

_October 29  
Monday…_

The moment that Tony, Loki, Natasha, and Clint arrive to the cafeteria table that everybody else is already at (that's how it is every morning; Clint takes _forever_ to get ready), Tony holds Loki and Clint back as Natasha goes straight to Thor's lap.

Clint frowns. "But I want my Ban-Ban."

"Shush and let me tell our other friends what _happened_," Tony says.

Clint smiles and stands up straight. "Oh, I get it."

Tony grins and makes eye contact each with Steve and Pepper, since they're the only ones that don't know about Bruce and Clint getting together. "As of last night," Tony says, "Natasha and I did our best at playing matchmaker and exited victorious. My Brucey-kins and Natasha's Hawkeye are finally together!"

The whole table claps, and Clint launches forward to plop onto Bruce's lap and kiss him hard on the cheek. "Finally in_deed_," he says.

"Oh shush, I was having an internal conflict," Bruce says, wrapping an arm possessively around his waist.

"Yes, yes, very exciting," Tony says, cracking his knuckles. "Even more so, though…" He breathes a laugh. "Uh, Loki beat me at chess last night."

The entire table silences. Natasha, Thor, and Clint don't know the extent of Tony's chess playing as well as Steve, Pepper, and Bruce, so their silence is more of a confused silence while the other three have wide eyes and dropped jaws.

"He _didn't_," Pepper says, reaching over to push up the jaws of Steve and Bruce.

"I did," Loki says, smiling warmly. "I didn't even cheat."

"No way!" Bruce says too loudly—as if they didn't have enough people already staring at them. It wasn't too bad last Friday, but as soon as Clint went to Bruce's lap…well, it's hard not to notice a homosexual couple in a group that used to be two groups that hated each other.

"Yup!" Tony says. "Other than that, though, we finally got together last night, but that's not near as exciting."

The squeal that emits from Pepper's lips is expected, but the fact that Steve literally leaps up and hugs Tony until he can't breathe isn't.

"Oh, Tony, you have no idea how long I've wanted this!"

Tony thinks back to the very first day that he met Loki, on the first of October. And today is the…twenty-ninth? "Twenty-nine days, probably."

Steve snorts, pulling away. "That's no fair, you met him on the first day of the month."

Tony grins. "Anyone ever told you, Steve? Life's not fair! Speaking of fair, though, you must be absolutely _beating_ your body up, because good lord you have got a _grip_."

Steve grins. "I've gained eight pounds of muscle just this month."

Tony laughs. "That's amazing, Steveo-oh. How are you and Peggy?"

He smiles and blushes, going back to his seat. "Good."

Tony rolls his eyes, knowing he can just ask later. "What about you, Pep? You and…Happy doin' alright?"

She grins. "Brilliant, thank you." She turns to Natasha and Thor. "You two?"

They look at each other, look at Pepper, look back at each other, and laugh.

"And there's your answer," Clint says, smiling.

Steve, Pepper, and Clint on Bruce's lap are on one side, so Tony sits down beside Thor and Loki sits down beside him and swings his legs over his own legs. And just like last night, everything is perfect.

**XxX**

_October 29  
Monday…_

Tony sits down beside Loki during lunch, Steve on his other side.

"So I was in advanced biology today…" Natasha says.

"Continue," the table says.

"This girl in my class wanted to invite all of us to church with her because we're all sinners; half of us homosexual and the other half associating ourselves with that first half."

"Oh, I've got an opposite one!" Bruce says. "When I walked into the building this morning, this green-haired hippie with dreadlocks—I think he's a junior, I don't know his name—came up to me and said that I'm goin' the way of the dodo, and that's an admirable trait. So we've got some supporters, too."

It looks like Thor is about to say something as well, but everybody hushes when somebody completely new comes up to their table.

"Can we help you?" Pepper says.

The guy has buzz cut blonde hair and a big smile as he looks down at Loki. "You're Loki, right?"

"Yes…" Loki replies, cocking an eyebrow.

"So you're Parker's best friend?"

"I am."

"Great! I'm Flash Thompson, and all of you are invited to my Halloween party from five to ten on Wednesday. I would have had it last Saturday, but I was at a different party, soo." He shrugs, looking up at everybody else as well as Loki. "Anyway, do any of you guys want to come? I can get Loki's number from Parker and text him the address for all of you. I know you guys are always around each other. Everybody does." He grins. "Anyway, whad'yuh say? I'd love to have you all. I know Stark's a real party animal if given the opportunity."

Everybody is silent for a moment, looking around at each other to try and gage what everybody else is going to say before they answer.

"Can we get back to you?" Bruce eventually says with a smile. "We'll find you in the halls sometime and tell you if we need your number."

"Yeah, sounds great! See you all around." And he's off.

Everybody looks around at each other, not really sure what to say. So Tony finally breaks it: "Well I'll go."

"I might as well accompany you," Thor says.

"Count me in, then," Natasha adds.

"Hell yes!" Clint says, too loudly, as usual.

Bruce rolls his eyes affectionately. "I guess I have to go too, then."

Pepper shrugs. "I'll bring Happy."

Steve nods. "I can bring Peggy and Bucky."

Loki frowns. "Are we allowed to bring outsiders?"

"I've been to a few of Flash's parties before," Tony says, "and he didn't invite me either time. I beat him twice at beer pong, even, so he knows I was there. Senior high school parties it doesn't matter _who's_ invited, everybody's going to show up."

Loki nods. "I've never been to one before."

Tony gasps and wraps his arms around Loki's shoulders. "Oh my poor baby, you have not _lived_!"

"I've never gone because I know I'm not going to drink."

"Good, you can be our designated driver. We'll bring the escalade."

"I…guess I can do that."

Tony tilts his head slightly. "If you don't want to then don't. We can do our own thing, if you want. Everybody else can go."

He smiles warmly. "No, I should go to one. See what it's like."

"That's the spirit!" Clint says, leaning across the table to give him a hug.

Tony leans over to Bruce. "I am so sorry for you," he says.

"Don't be," Bruce says. "All I have to do is play with his hair and he calms down. Here, watch." He pulls Clint back, and Clint protests at first, but as soon as Bruce's hand touches his hair he slouches down and goes absolutely silent except for the tiniest of happy rumbles in his chest.

"Hmm," Tony says, looking up at Loki's hair. "I'll have to try that sometimes. Hopefully mine doesn't purr, though. Who's ever heard of a puppy that purrs, anyway?"

Clint gives him a lazy glare. "The same person who hid chocolate under their bed that is now gone."

"Hey! I was saving those!"

"And now they're saved in my tummy. That's what you get, bitch."

"Remember, ladies," Pepper says, flicking a baby carrot at Clint's forehead, causing him to sit up fast until Bruce calms him back down. "No gay-off's in the cafeteria."

"Chocolate isn't gay," Tony says.

"No," Loki says, "but not sharing them with your boyfriend is."

Tony gives a guilty smile. "Whoops." He glares at Clint. "Thanks a lot. Now they're gone _and_ I'm in trouble."

He smirks lazily. "I challenge you to a beer pong match this coming Wednesday. Loser buys the other a box of chocolate."

Tony grins. "Challenge accepted."

**XxX**

_October 29  
Monday…_

Tony hangs out with Steve after school that day, going for a jog, and Steve remarks on how Tony was right and it _is_ a refreshing feeling to know that nobody is going to jump out and shove them into the nearest trash can.

"Tell me about it," Tony says, slowing to a walk. He gets really bad side aches if he talks while running. "I didn't like Lo' at first, but I really am glad he kept forcing himself upon me so much."

"He went shooting with Bucky and I one time, you know."

Tony almost trips. "What, really?"

"Yeah, and when you went shopping with Pepper he did homework with Bruce and Thor, and a day you were sciencing it up with Bruce he went to cake decorating with Pepper."

Tony blinks a lot. "He never told me that."

"Really?" He smiles. "I thought he was doing it so he could convince you that he's perfect for you. It's good to know that he just really _is_ perfect."

Tony rolls his eyes and looks away to hide his blush. "Shut up."

Steve chuckles. "Does Peter still hate you?"

"Uh…yeah, I'm pretty sure he does. I'm not even sure why. He's jealous or something I don't know. Gwen's okay with me, though. She texted me just before this to see where Loki was, 'cause he wasn't answering his own phone, but I have no idea."

"I thought he was going to snag something to eat with Natasha and Thor?"

Tony sighs happily. "Look at us, pulling everything together. Seriously, this time a month ago we were getting beat up."

Steve shrugs. "We're stubborn."

"Speaking of stubborn, how are you and Peggy doing? And don't just give me the boring 'good' you gave this morning. I want to _know_."

He blushes and ducks his head. "She…may or may not have offered to give me a blow job last night."

Tony almost trips again. "What, and you _declined_? Steve, buddy, Loki and I haven't even gotten to blow jobs yet and we had sex last night."

"Oh, shut up. You know I'm self-conscious about my…everything."

"Steve, you're bigger than I am. And your body, speaking of which, is filling out _nice_. Are you still going to the gym with Bucky?"

"Of course I am; I'm not just going to stop when I'm actually getting results."

Tony starts to nod, but stops. They jogged/walked all the way to Natasha's house. And there's Natasha, Loki, and Natasha's dad in a yelling fest to rival them all. There are bags out front, one of them ripped open and dumped over the yard. The Jeep is parked on the curb, the doors having been put back on it just last night.

"I guess he just went with Natasha," Steve whispers.

That's when her dad sees Tony and Steve.

"There!" he yells. "There's the bastard that stole my daughter!"

Tony's eye twitches; he's wanted to beat this guy down for a _long_ time. "Yup, that's me."

He starts stalking towards him. "Do you have any idea how many—"

He doesn't get any further, because that's when Loki strikes. Tony's seen many emotions, but he's never seen him with red fire in his eyes. He's seen the black coals of lust and the water of a lonely soul, but never the red stoked fire of hatred and anger. He levels Natasha's dad in hardly a few seconds, smashing his knee in sideways so he begins to fall and then grabbing the sides of his face so Loki can crash his face into his own knee. Tony can heard the crunch of his nose from where they are a house down, so he and Steve rush over to stand beside Natasha, Tony pushing her behind him as they back away slightly and her dad lets out a string of wild curse words.

"I swear to every god you've ever heard of," Loki spits at once, reaching down and picking him back up by the front of his shirt, "if you ever threaten my friends even _remotely_ I will do this to you all over again. Do you understand me, Drakov? Remember freshman year, you bastard, when I put you in the hospital for a week?" He growls like a very big dog and drops him back to the ground to keep moaning and whispering his cuss words. "I'm not afraid to do that again, and this time I'll tell them all about your knack for hitting your own _daughter_."

He kicks him in the stomach _hard_ before squatting down to be closer to his face. "Now, we're going to take Natasha's things, and if we come back to get anything else you're just going to let us walk right in. You don't love her anyway, right? You drove out your wife, too, so you might as well let her go. The fact that she's all you've got left isn't worth _shit_ when all you've got left is being beaten." He stands up and spits on his face. "See you around, motherfucker."

When he turns around the fire is still there, but when he sees Tony, Natasha, and Steve it rushes away. He holds his arms out, and Natasha comes out from behind Tony and into his arm, hugging him tight.

"I'm sorry," Loki says into Natasha's ear, but he's looking straight at Tony. "He started towards Tony; I couldn't let him do that."

"No, I'm glad," she says, stepping away and going to pick up her strewn things. Tony didn't even notice, but Steve already started putting it all back away in the slightly torn duffle bag. "He deserved that, just like he deserved it in freshman year. Go reassure Tony; it looks like he's in shock."

Tony wants to move to prove her wrong, but he doesn't think he can. Is that was Loki was always talking about when he said that Tony didn't want to see him angry? The reserved anger for people that really deserve it?

Loki walks slowly over to him, stopping a foot away. "Um…" he says, scratching the back of his head. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"No…no that's okay," Tony gets out with ease. The shock must just be in his limbs. "I wanted to see it before, and that was a good example of it. I would have done it myself if he had gotten any closer."

Loki gives a sad little smile. "He would have torn you apart."

"If you got him as a freshman he can't be _too_ bad."

"No, he's… I only got him this time because he wasn't ready for it. Last time I got him for the same reason. I came up behind him with a chair."

"Aw, and here I thought you were just strong."

He pushes his fingers through Tony's hair, and suddenly Tony can move. He steps forward and hugs him tight.

"Thank you," he says.

"For beating him up?"

"For protecting us."

"It's what I do. I'm not as sweet and innocent as you want me to be."

Tony smirks, pulling away so Loki can see it. "Yes you are. You're just tough. Come on, let's get all this crap in the Jeep."

Once everything is put inside, Loki smiles at Steve, who looks only slightly terrified of him. "Uh, hi."

"Hi," Steve says back. "Are you still going shooting with Clint and I tomorrow? Bucky, Peggy, and Bucky's girlfriend are coming too."

"Yeah, I'll be there."

Steve looks at Tony and Natasha. "Do you guys want to come?"

Tony nods, but Natasha shakes her head. "No, Thor and I are going to see a movie with Peter and Gwen."

Loki snorts. "Wait, what?"

She smiles at him. "Thor suggested it, actually. He…wants to get to know your best friend. I'm not sure. He's not trying the older protective brother thing again, though, don't worry."

Loki nods. "As long as that's not it then he can do whatever he pleases." He looks at Tony. "Do you guys need a ride anywhere, or are you going to keep jogging?"

"No, we'll just go back to Steve's. There's where my stuff and car is."

Steve crawls into the driver's seat, Natasha into the passenger, and Tony and Loki get in the back so they can cuddle.

"We're just going home," Natasha says as they're driving. She and Clint have long started calling Tony's place "home". Loki doesn't even though he basically lives there too, what with asking Thor to bring him a bag full of clothes all the time, but it hasn't been officially said and therefore it is still "Tony's house" to him. "I'm in dire need of a long, hot shower."

"I'll drive you to Tony's," Loki says once Steve is dropped off, "since you can't."

Tony frowns. "Why can't she?"

"I've never learned how," she says.

Tony smirks. "I'll have to teach you, then. I'll follow behind you guys.

So that's what they do, Natasha going straight to the shower when they get inside.

"I'll put your stuff away," Loki says, picking it up. Tony follows after, picking up anything that falls out of the tear.

"So, I was thinking…" Loki says as he begins to put all of the things in the bags away. Tony doesn't know where anything goes, but he does what he can.

"'Bout what?" Tony asks, giving one of Natasha's t-shirts an odd look. It looks more like a Thor sized shirt, with full moons and open-mouthed hippos on it…

"Don't ask about that, it's Thor's," Loki says, taking it and putting it away for him. "And I was thinking about your proposition about taking me to the graves of my parents."

Tony smiles, bundling up some socks. "Thought about that already, did you?"

He nods.

"You want to go see them, then?"

"I want to go see my _mother_, but I want to kick my dad for taking away what could have been."

Tony gives a sad smile. "Hey, on the bright side, you—"

"If you say I met you I'm going to punch you in the face."

There's no malice in it, though, so Tony kisses him guiltily over Natasha's pile of very provocative underwear. "You love me. When do you want to go?"

He shrugs, putting her bras away. "Whenever."

"This weekend whenever?"

"If you're not busy."

"Busy? With you around? Please."

Loki smiles. "You hung out with quite a lot of your friends the last couple of weeks, actually."

"Well I mostly just hung out with Phil the first week because I was avoiding a lot of people, but the week after that was a lot of avoiding you…"

Loki smirks. "Yeah, I figured. Steve talked to me when I went shooting with him, you know."

Tony grimaces. "What about, exactly?"

"Mostly just what he said to you." He laughs. "Lord, when he and Thor saw us holding hands when we went to see Phil in the hospital? Steve wanted to punch you for contradicting yourself—which _would_ hurt now, thanks to his working out so often—and Thor wanted to invite us out to a double date with him and Natasha."

Tony laughs too. "Well, I'm glad he's not the classic 'protective older brother', in any case."

Loki snorts. "Thor is _not_ that brother. Do you remember when Natasha was just reassuring that's not what he's doing? He tried to be, once, but it led to our first physical fight, which led to his being terrified of me when I'm angry."

Tony gives a tiny chuckle. "Which I finally understand, now."

Loki smiles guiltily. "I'm sorry about that. I just…he's horrible! He beat his wife, his daughter, and if he had gotten any closer to you he would have tried to take a swing at you as well. I was not going to allow that to happen!"

"Loki, babe, I'm a sprinter. I would have made it away fine. I'm glad you were concerned, though, because I've been wanting to see you beat somebody up for a long time now."

He laughs, folding up a few pairs of jeans. "Well, you're welcome then."

"What if _I_ got you angry? What would you do to me?"

"If _you_ got me angry?" he asks as they walk into Natasha's room. He taps his chin in thought, letting Tony slip an arm around his waist as he leads him inside. "I don't know, I'd probably just walk away." He stands up, throwing the empty bags over by Natasha's bed. "Come on, I'm hungry."

They walk down the stairs, but the instant that they get to the bottom, there's a new voice:

"Loki?"

Tony and Loki turn to see _both_ of their dads.

"Dad?" Loki asks, incredulous.

"_This_ is your son?" Howard asks.

"_This_ is where you have been saying?" Odin asks.

"What is going _on_?" Tony shouts.

"I didn't think you'd even notice me gone," Loki says darkly.

Odin frowns, his bronze eye patch glinting. "Thor told me that you were staying with your boyfriend weeks ago, but I never imagined it was the _Stark's_ son."

"_Boy_friend?" Howard bellows.

"You know I'm gay?" Loki asks Odin.

"Uh…" Tony says to his own dad. "Surprise?"

"_Gay_?" Howard roars over Odin and Loki. "What about my grandkids?"

Tony wants to laugh that he doesn't actually care about Tony liking boys. He cares about what he's going to _get out of it_. But this is not the time to laugh. "_Grand_kids?" he asks. "You think you deserve _grandkids_? You can't even raise your _own_ kid!"

Howard glares at him. "Maybe if you didn't avoid me so actively I could try a little harder."

"You wouldn't 'try a little harder' for another million dollars."

He rolls his eyes. "I'm sorry, what? A million dollars, you say? Oh, you mean the million dollars I freely spend on you all the time so you can _live here_? _That_ million dollars?"

Tony groans. "Ugh, never mind. We've had this conversation before. You'll get your stinkin' grandkids. Now leave us alone." He spins on his heels and pulls Loki after him, ignoring Howard calling him names as they head back up the stairs.

Loki does have to sigh and stop when Odin calls his name, though.

"I want you home tonight, son," he says, only a little darkly. "In your own bed. Just for the night."

Loki frowns. "Yes, sir."

They turn around to head up to the attic, but Tony hears what Howard says anyway: "See that, Asgard? You've got an upstanding son. Does what he's told. My son, on the other hand, doesn't know the difference between his father and a peasant."

Tony grits his teeth and let's go of Loki so he doesn't crush him on accident.

Loki sighs. "I didn't know that our fathers were friends."

"They're not," Tony says, slamming the door behind him. "They're business partners. He would have been less sarcastic and more of an ass if they were just friends."

"Oh…should we tell your father about mine, then? He's very good at cheating his way through business deals…"

"It's okay, mine's probably better."

Loki grabs the back of Tony's shirt as he stalks around and pulls him into his arms. "Come home with me tonight," he says. "Now that you're friends with Thor, my mother will love you too."

Tony sighs, wrapping his arms around his neck. "I shouldn't."

"Since when has that stopped you?"

Tony is surprised he _can_ smile. "Since never. Will you help me pack?"

"Of course."

As they do, Loki asks a question: "Do you even want kids?" he asks. "After seeing all of the hurt in the families around you?"

"Yes," Tony says without hesitation. "Two of them. What about you? Even you still want them after all of this shit?"

Loki sighs, flopping onto the couch. "Yes. Lots of them, actually. That way they'll always have somebody to play with. With just two they may not like each other, with three there's always the odd one out, and…I don't know. I like kids."

Tony laughs, crawling on top of him and settling in comfortably. "I think I could deal with four… Not anymore, though. I can barely deal with you seven as teenagers, let alone as toddlers."

He starts playing with Tony's hair. "That's okay, four is enough."

Tony purses his lips. "Their grandpa's are going to suck."

Loki laughs. "Yes, but I think their grandmother's will be alright."

"I wouldn't know what it's like. I didn't grow up with any grandparents."

"Me neither," Loki whispers. "Want to know something?"

"Yes."

"Peter doesn't _completely_ hate you anymore."

Tony smiles. "Really? That's great. Being on the bad side of my boyfriend's best friend is not exactly a _good_ thing."

"You sound tired."

"I am tired."

"Go to sleep, then. I'll wake you up when it's time to go."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

Tony is out cold instantly.

* * *

References: _"—HEY! You pushed me off the ledge."  
Loki smirks. "I did."  
"We're playing teams! We're on the SAME team!"  
"So?"  
"There's no 'I' in team, 'Lo."  
"There are two in 'I do what I want'."_

This whole confrontation here is something I stole from a fanart, except its Thor and Loki instead of Tony and Loki in it. Also I changed the words up a little bit to fit the context. Here's the link to it, and if the link doesn't work it's by Tavoriel and called Loki - One-Player Game :)

Ending authors notes: 1. This chapter ended up being a lot longer than all the others simply because I never cut it in half. I used to have all of the other chapters joined together as well to be about 25 pages, so then this one was a little shorter, but now that all the others are split up this is the longest! I was devastated at first but hey since it's the one chapter that has the title of the fic I decided that it's totally fine :) Sides, who doesn't like a longer-than-usual chapter every once in a while?

2. _Also_ Florence and the Machine at one in the morning is a much better idea than Jack's Obsession and "suck my nuts". Yay a clear head!


	10. All Because He's a Genius

**10: All Because He's a Genius**

_October 30  
Tuesday…_

Tony's alarm is DUM-E throwing things at him until he wakes up, which is followed by yelling and grumbling, and finally Jarvis giving a helpful summary of the night before: "Master Loki accidentally fell asleep, sir, so I took to waking him up at around two in the morning so he could get home. We decided to leave you alone, and he will see you today. He also kissed you on the cheek."

So Tony gets ready in a flash, going downstairs to grab some breakfast.

"Morning," Tony says to his mom, Natasha, and Clint.

"Where's Mellow?" Clint asks.

"Went home last night. Odin showed up, of _all_ placed, and now he and my dad know that we're dating and blah yadda blah."

"Ah."

Tony texts him as he eats: **You getting a ride from Thor?**

When he doesn't answer within ten minutes, Tony huffs.

"What?" Natasha asks.

"Loki isn't texting me back."

"He's not answering me either," Clint says. "I texted him before I got down here, so I thought he was upstairs."

"That's odd," Tony's mom says. "Do you think he could have gotten his phone taken away?"

"Maybe," Natasha says. "We'll find out at school. Come on."

She, him, and Clint say goodbye to Tony's mom before heading out to the garage, Tony driving them both in the Escalade. They find Thor, Steve, Bruce, Pepper, and Pepper's this-week-recent boyfriend Happy already in the cafeteria. Clint goes straight to sitting on Bruce's lap, Natasha to Thor's, and Tony sits beside Steve.

"Where's Loki?" Tony asks Thor with a frown.

Thor frowns back. "I thought he was with you."

"No, he went home last night."

"He did? I did not see him…"

"He left my place at about two in the morning."

"I was up until three and it does not take an hour to get back and forth between our homes, and he must walk past my bedroom door to get to his own room. I am positive that he did not come home."

So Tony texts him again: **Hey, where are you?**

And he waits. And waits. And first period is going to start in ten seconds and he's freaking out because Thor even called home and Frigga doesn't know where he is either and he also talked to Peter and Gwen and even _they_ don't know so something is wrong. Something is very wrong. He's about to—

The bell rings, followed by a, "Tony Stark?"

Tony's head snaps up to see Phil in the doorway of his classroom.

"Principle Fury has given me permission to excuse you. Please come with me."

Bruce gives Tony a weird look, but Tony ignores him and everybody else as he literally leaps over his desk and runs to Phil.

"Your things, Mr. Stark," he says. "You won't be coming back today, I'm sure."

Tony groans and runs back to throw his things into his backpack, zipping it halfway and then going back to Phil.

"We just got a call," Phil says, zipping the backpack up all the way as they walk towards the back parking lot. "I'm driving you so you don't crash on the way there."

"Well tell me what _happened_!" Tony yells.

"It's Loki."

"I KNOW ITS LOKI BUT WHAT _HAPPENED_ DAMMIT?!"

Phil sighs and pulls out his keys as they're walking outside. "Jarvis called and told me that he took the Jeep to get home. Later I learned that that Jeep was found, roughly at five AM this morning, in a ditch by the side of the road just over from his own home."

Tony would have tripped if Phil hadn't of grabbed his elbow and righted him.

"Let me finished. He was inside when they found him, but he… It looked like someone purposely _caused_ the crash, and then dealt with him even more after the fact."

Tony grits his teeth. "Drakov."

"Romanov? No, he's not going to get anywhere near Loki ever again, I don't think—don't give me that look; I know everything that Jarvis does." They get into the car, which happens to be the same car as the one in the first Men In Black. Not _the_ MIB car, but a Ford POS nonetheless.

"Right, okay," Tony says, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Tell me about his wounds."

"I wish I could, but that's all the hospital was able to tell me. That's why we're going there now. To see him."

It only takes a few minutes to get to the hospital, all in which Tony is imagining his boyfriend crashing and then being beaten. Possibly pulled out of the Jeep to have it done, or maybe whoever it was figured out how to do him in while he was still sitting in the car. Tony actually gets sick on the way there, Phil thankfully noticing just in time for him to pull over and let loose on the side of the road before quick heading back out again.

Phil actually holds his hand as they walk inside so he doesn't fly off in eighteen different directions, politely telling the lady at the front desk that he called in earlier and they said he could visit. She has them sign in, gives them guest passes, and then they're off. They get lost once, but they finally end up outside of Loki's closed door.

"Ready?" Phil asks.

Tony takes a deep breath. "No." He pushes open the door, keeping his eyes shut tight until the door is shut behind him. "How bad is he?" he whispers.

Phil coughs. "Uh, you might…you might want to keep your eyes closed."

Tony yanks them open and promptly falls backwards, slamming into the door. Phil helps him up and into a chair in the corner of the room, so he's a little ways from the bed, but he stills sees everything with absolute clarity.

Loki is…well, Tony _should_ have kept his eyes closed. He's asleep, lots of needles and things poking into him. His eyes are a dark purple (both of them obviously bruised; he must have gotten _those_ shiners from the beating afterwards), the left side of his mouth is swollen, there's a scuffed looking bruise on his right cheek, his left thigh is wrapped up tight, a small cast around the palm of his left hand, there's a little bandage over his nose, and tiny bandage on the outer edge of his left eye, and…

Tony whimpers. "Can you…can you read me the clipboard?"

Phil nods, getting up from his squatted down position beside Tony to retrieve it. "Umm…" he says, scanning it over. "Broken carpals in his left hand that'll take six to eight weeks to heal, a broken rib on his right side that says seven weeks, two bruises ribs on his left that should heal in about ten days, a bruised nose that'll last about fifteen days, two black eyes that will take about five days because they're not planning on icing it up as often as normal with all of the other wounds, aaand two stab wounds—both relatively close on his left thigh—that will take two to three weeks."

"Shit," Tony breathes, his heart stopping. He can't breathe. He legitimately can't breathe.

Phil notices and grabs the garbage can in the room and places it in front of Tony so fast that Tony doesn't even notice. He's just suddenly hurling again, out in front of him, and oh look there's a trash can there how convenient.

Tony whimpers. "He'll survive, right? I mean, if he left my place at two and wasn't found until five, that means he was just lying there for no more than three hours…that's a lot of blood loss. That's a long time to just be lying there by yourself, bleeding and…and…" He bites his tongue.

_Don't cry_, he thinks. _Don't fucking cry._

Phil sighs, pulls him up, sits down, and then pulls him back down to curl up in his lap. "Just breathe, Tone," he whispers, rubbing lightly at his back.

Tony slams his face into Phil's chest and continues to try desperately not to cry.

That's when he realizes something. "The watch!" he exclaims, sitting up.

Phil cocks an eyebrow. "You gave him one of the recording ones?"

"Yes!" He crawls off of his lap.

"But…that would have been _weeks_ ago. There's no way that they have that much space. It wouldn't have recorded any of that."

"That's what _you_ think," Tony says, scanning the room for a bag with all of Loki's clothes and personal belongings in them, since he's in one of those stupid hospital gowns underneath his blanket. "I have a thing in which, once it's filled up, it gets sent back to my place and piles up. There's a four second delay between them. I never got around to hooking it up to Jarvis; I was going to so, if anything bad happened—like this—he could tell me and I could go and help him." He grits his teeth. "If only I had learned my lesson of putting things off a month ago."

The bag is just sitting on the floor beside the bed, so he quick opens it up and pulls out the watch. "Dear god that I don't think exist," he whispers, "please let it all be on here, and please don't let it have four-second lapsed in the middle of it." He kisses the watch before going back over to Phil. He pushes the garbage can aside and just sits on the floor, resting his forehead against his teacher's knee as the watch begins to whir a bit before it begins.

It starts out in utter silence, so Tony mutters unintelligibly to himself as he pulls out his phone and calls up Jarvis. "No time," he says before Jarvis can say anything. "I need you to send me something from the recorder watch database."

"Of course, sir. From what times?"

"From when you woke Loki up to right now."

"Right away, sir. It should take about five minutes."

"Thanks, Jay." He hangs up and waits those five minutes, rocking himself back and forth the entire time. Phil stares at him with folded hands, looking ready to spring into any action he needs to if the need persists.

Tony's phone buzzes, and he whips it out and instantly saves the recording to his phone before pressing play.

There's some muttering, and then coherently is Loki: _"Huh? Wha—Jarvis? What is it, is something wrong?"_

"_Only possibly, sir. You fell asleep."_

"_Shit."_

Feet hit the floor, and there's a sigh.

"_Should I just leave him here?"_ Loki asks.

"_I would, sir,"_ Jarvis says. _"I will inform him of your leaving when I wake him up for school."_

"_Alright, cool. I'll see you later."_

"_Of course, sir. Drive safely."_

There's a snort, and a muttered, _"Yeah right, I was supposed to be home hours ago."_

There's some shuffling and then quiet clunks of Loki going down the stairs, following by more shuffling…a door opening and closing (the garage one, probably)…the opening and closing of a car door…a car starting.

"_Dad?"_ Loki's voice says. He must have pulled out his phone to call him.

Pause.

"_I'm SO sorry, I fell asleep on his couch and—"_

Pause.

"_Of course it was on accident."_

Pause.

"_YES we were dressed. We flopped down on the couch in his room and he fell asleep. I_ _could tell he needed it so I let—"_

Pause.

"_EXCUSE me?"_

Tiny pause.

"_No, don't you DARE repeat that, I heard you the first time. I don't care IF you don't_ _like his father; Tony and Howard are NOTHING alike. Tony's an ass, but he's MY ass, and if you—"_

Pause.

"_Oh, you WISH."_

Pause.

"_Wait, really?"_ He laughs. _"You want to MEET him in a PROPER manner? Fine. Dinner_ _on Friday night. You game?"_

Pause.

"_Only if—if I WHAT? No WAY. I do what I want, and you are not going to suddenly_ _start dictating that."_

Long pause.

"_You can't do that," he whispers. "You can't just suddenly change the way you parent._ _It doesn't work that way."_

Another long pause.

"_NO. No. I am turning around! How the FUCK could you say—could you ask that? Good lord, you and your fucking eye patch, telling Thor and I that either of us could end up_ _owning the business and then DENYING it? Why don't you just ADMIT that you hate_ _me? I'm not your real son anyway! I—DON'T YOU DARE INTERRUPT ME, YOU_ _BASTARD—I will not stand for your fake-ass PITY. I don't need your love. I don't need_ _ANYBODY'S love! Except…"_ He sighs. _"Tony, of course, but… I want to be Thor's equal, dad._ _Can't you see that? Can't you tell that I want you to love us the same? But you don't, and_ _I'm never going to be that for you. I'm jut your… I don't know. I'm your BUSINESS_ _deal. 'Oh, the mighty Odin Asgard ADOPTED someone, how NOBLE of him, let's_ _donate more money to his business!' You always said it was because Thor wanted me, but he never wanted me. Not until he had me, anyway… He—hello?"_

_Pause._

"_I thought you hung up, sorry. Will you please SAY something?"_

Pause.

"'_Oh'? That's it? And you wonder why I don't sleep at home."_

Pause.

"_No I didn't turn around; I'll be there in—CRAP!"_

Screeching. Lots of it. Bending metal. Airbags deploying. Breaking glass. Thuds. Crunches. More breaking things. And a sudden silence, following by a painful whimper/groan that Tony is going to remember for the rest of his life.

"_Shit,"_ Loki's broken voice whispers. _"If Howard doesn't kill me, he'll kill Tony."_

Tony's heart breaks a little. He'd let Howard kill him over Loki any day of the year.

There's another groan, and this is probably about when Loki is looking around to survey the damage. Tony's thought is confirmed, too, when Loki says: _"Yeesh, even the fuzzy dice didn't make it. Where's my cell phone…?"_

But then there's a wrenching sound, some indecipherable yelling mixed in with Loki's understandable "hey!", "oh thank goodness, could you—wait, no, what the fuck are you doing?", a sound of agony, some guttural moans and groans, incoherent swear words, and a few other things that has Tony bending over the trash can again.

"_This is what you get, you piece of shit,"_ a voice that Tony's never heard before spits. A female voice. _"Your bastard of a FATHER murdered BOTH of our parents."_ Our? _"So, since HE'S already dead, we're gonna fuck YOU up!"_

"_That's right,"_ another voice says (that must be the other one in "our"). It's a man this time. He sounds deep and terrifying. _"He killed your mum, didn't 'e? Shot 'er straight in the chest. Tried finding yuh to kill yuh, too. Betchyuh wish he had now, huh? Bet THIS hurts."_

Loki screams, and both of his abusers laugh.

"_Come on, 'Urge,"_ the woman says. _"We gotta go before anyone comes out on us."_

Whoever this 'Urge guy is (probably a nickname) gives a grunt, probably shoving Loki back into the Jeep. Loki only gives a tiny whimper. He must have passed out from the pain after 'Urge made him scream… Fuck.

Something wrenches again, and then there's simply silence. Tony listens for one more minute before turning it off, setting it lightly on the ground, crawling back into Phil's lap, and promptly bursting into tears. All the days' pain pours out of his eyes and onto Phil's shirt, but he knows Phil doesn't care. They've watched enough movies together.

"You all done?" Phil asks softly at length, wiping the tears from Tony's cheeks.

Tony nods and sniffs in deeply, crawling off of him. "Is there a time that he's supposed to wake up?" he asks Phil, walking over to the bedside. "Like, when the police will come to ask him a few questions or whatever, maybe?"

"Um…" He flips through the clip board. "Not until about noon, and it's only eight-fifty, so you still have over three hours."

Tony sighs. "Could you…go get my stuff, maybe?" He left it in the car.

Phil nods. "Of course." He's back in a bit, setting the backpack underneath the windowsill of the only window. "I gotta go, now. You have an excused for the whole day, but I only have the first period off."

"You'll be late," Tony says from where he's dragged the chair over to sit beside Loki's bed.

"That's okay, they won't listen for the first few minutes anyway. Text me if you need anything, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

Phil's only gone for a few minutes before Tony springs into action, yanking out his phone and calling Jarvis.

"Good morning, sir," he says.

"No time for pleasantries, Jay," Tony says. "Lo's in the hospital and we got some sons of bitches to find. You know the box that my recorder watches send all their information to?"

"Yes."

"How long do you think it will take you to wire yourself into that? I've got some voices I need to find, and a few names."

"It will only take me a few minutes to tap into it, sir, if that is all you need. If you want me to be connected, though, it will not be until the late afternoon."

"Alright, just tap into it for now, then. We'll start the other project some other time."

"Right away, sir. What are the two names you wish for me to search for?"

"They're nicknames, I think. U-R-G-E and A-U-R-A. Maybe O-R-A."

"Beginning search now, sir. I shall text you to call me when it is complete."

"You're amazing, Jay."

"All thanks to you having created me, sir."

"Don't be a suck-up, now."

"Sir, I would never."

Tony chuckles before hanging up, debating for a few seconds before saying, "Fuck it," and snapping a few pictures of his boyfriends body, some full-body ones and others closer up to his face. He'll want to see what he looks like anyway.

He sighs. There's still more than three hours until Loki is scheduled to wake up… Looks like its naptime.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: The title of this is of course referring to Tony, and his being a genius is referring to the fact that he gave Loki a recorder watch (so that he heard Loki's side of the conversation between him and Odin—that will be coming back into play in the next chapter—and also was able to get some information about the two people that beat Loki up so he could have Jarvis find them—so he thinks he's a hero and all that but that will _also_ come into play in the next chapter). So yeah.


	11. In Which Hospitals Are Trending

**11: In Which Hospitals are Trending**

_October 30  
Tuesday…_

Loki was right. Tony _was_ tired, because he's still tired, and the only reason he wakes up (from conking out with his forehead against the bed) is because the nurse scolds him, so then he bundles up on the floor with an extra pillow and some blankets before being woken up _again_ by none other than Tony's two very favorite police officers: Officer Chester Phillips and Timothy Aloysius Cadwallader Dugan (but most people just call him Dum-Dum)

Tony groans. "You're seriously kicking me out? I was _asleep_."

"It's an interrogation, Stark," Officer Chester Phillips says. "Doesn't work that way."

Tony glares up at Phillips as he stretches. They've met multiple times, mostly because Tony was a punk ass middle school kid so he was always brought in. Never stealing things, because why steal when you've got the money for it? No, mostly for vandalism, loitering, selling drugs (for the most part he honestly doesn't even remember how he got those; he just knows that he never took them because he knew what it did to people and he's not stupid), and one time he got arrested for jaywalking. Seriously, who gets arrested for that? They've met on some good grounds, too, though. Steve wants to join the army or at least the local police department, so sometimes he goes in to look at brochures and things to figure out what classes he needs to take and how much he has to weigh and how often he'll be able to be home and all that jazz. There'd be little tests to take, too, and while Steve would take those, Tony and Phillips would glare at each other across the room until they got up and walked over to each other to patronizingly ask how the other was doing. Good times.

Dum-Dum, though, doesn't have the same relationship. They know each other from nods across the room. The only reason Tony loves the guy so much is because he gets along with Steve really well. He's a cocky son of a bitch who is literally not _allowed_ to talk unless he's addressed or needs to. He caught Tony spray painting something once and it was mostly just a "not _again_ Stark no don't try running I'm twice your size and I'll catch you just pick up your shit and get out of here I know bringing you in won't do anything because you'll just do it again and taking the cans would be pointless because you've got the money to go get more yeah yeah I see you trying to hide that smile get out of here". Other than that, though, it's just been nods.

"But I can't go," Tony says to Phillips. "I've got evidence as to what happened. You want evidence, right?"

"You can give it to me after I ask the victim what happened."

"He is not 'the victim', he is my boyfriend, and I will _not_ let him live through that again!"

"All those years you would ask me if I knew any girls for you when you came in after middle school and now you're with a _boy_?" He shakes his head with a chuckle. "Unless _you_ know what happened you nee—"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up, he grew on me. But the thing about my evidence is that it _tells_ me what happened. It's a recording."

Phillips gives Tony a bored sort of _I am way too old for your shit_ look. "Fine. You can stay. But don't make a peep, and show me the damn recording."

Tony smirks. "I can send it to you too, if you want."

"Later. Let's just get this over with before we have to wake up your _boyfriend_."

Tony whips out his phone and scrolls around until he gets to it, fast forwarding until Loki cusses a millisecond before being hit (because he was talking on the phone while driving and that _will_ be used against him). He has to just set it down and drop his head between his knees a little ways into it, ignoring the tiny eyebrow raises that both men give him. Nothing fazes Tony Stark, after all.

When it ends, Tony turns it off and pockets the phone. "I don't know who 'Urge or 'Ora are, but Loki might. He's been out since I've been here."

As if on cue, Loki gives the tiniest of painful moans, and Tony's up and beside him in the blink of an eye. Loki is stretching out slightly, his hand bumping up against his side. Tony's a scientist—a teenage scientist, but still. Because Tony could have graduated from high school at least two years ago if he wanted to, but he decided to stay with his friends instead—and also not really do any of his work because he doesn't feel like it. So, Tony is a scientist. He's good with his hands. Fucking brilliant. Hand jobs and anal stretching and all that jazz. He's steady and he's soft. So, shifting Loki around without hurting him more is an absolute cinch.

His eyes flutter lightly before they open, emerald green shining up with unshed tears. "Anthony?" he whispers.

Tony breathes out happily as he smiles. "Heyuh, Lo'."

He tries to sit up, but Tony pushes him back down by his chest—but it's too late for Loki not to cringe.

"How—how bad am I?" he asks.

Tony grimaces.

"That bad?"

"Uh, yeah… I have picture."

Loki can't even laugh without looking hurt. "You are such an ass."

"But I'm your ass."

He closes his eyes and breathes a sigh. "Have you seen the Jeep yet?"

"No, but I sort of…heard it all."

Loki nods. "The watch."

Tony frowns. "You knew about it?"

"Yeah, for weeks. I found the one of Gwen and I, back before. I can't believe you got Phil in on it. But, I mean, is _that_ why you didn't react at all when I told you I was gay?"

Tony laughs guiltily. "This is what you get for falling for a genius."

Loki smiles. "I know, and I'm glad, because you've got voices now, right?" He turns to Phillips. "Can you find them that way?"

Phillips blinks a bit. "It doesn't work that way, Mr. Asgard. What I need to know, though, is what those two people looked like."

Loki sighs. "They were wearing ski masks, actually. They…the girl had long blonde hair, but that's all I got before she _stabbed_ me. The guy was huge, but I couldn't see his hair. That's…all I know."

Phillips nods somberly as Dum-Dum writes down what Loki is saying at the speed of light. "That's okay, kid. Any information is good information. Stark, I'm going to need you to send that recording to my business email." Dum-Dum hands Phillips a piece of paper, who hands it straight over to Tony.

Tony takes it and scans it just long enough to see that it has an email address written down on it before he pockets it with a nod.

Phillips looks back over at Loki. "Who's your birth father?" he asks quietly.

Loki pales a little. "Laufey Laufeyson."

He gives a very _ah_. "That explains what your attackers meant. What were you doing driving so late?"

"Driving home from Anthony's," he says, nodding towards Tony. "I usually just stay there, but my father requested that I come home last night. Needless to say, I didn't make it."

Tony frowns. "Hey, wait a minute, where's your family? Don't they know you're here?"

He grimaces. "I woke up just long enough to tell them not to call anybody but the school. I…didn't want you to panic, and I didn't want my father to come. He only would have yelled."

"Now, this is your adopted father, correct?" Phillips asks.

Loki gives him a condescending look. "No, the one that's _dead_."

"No need to get smart with me, son. I'm a policeman; it's my job to ask questions. Who all's in your current immediate family?"

"The Asgard's. Odin, Frigga, and Thor is my older brother."

Phillips just _stares_ at Loki for a second before he bursts into laughter. "Ain't you a lucky boy. Why'd your pop want you home last night?"

"I can answer that," Tony says. "My arm was around his waist, and when we walked inside of my place, both our dads happened to be there for some business involvement. Howard flipped about me, and Odin didn't seem to care until he found out that his son was with the son of a business partner. So he told him to come home."

Phillips nods. "Right." He stands. "I think that's all we can do here, then. Stark, send me that recording immediately. Come on, Dum-Dum. We've got some pissed off orphans to find."

And they're off.

Tony looks down at Loki. "So…where's the Jeep? Do you know?"

"Tow truck took it. Seeing that the license plate reads 'Howard4' they'll made sure to fix it up real nice."

Tony nods, a sad little smile on his face. "Should I…maybe call your family now? I mean, not Odin, but you know."

Loki sighs. "Must you?"

"Well, I thought you were with Thor, but he thought you were with me, so he knows about it and is possible freaking out just a bit. Also he called home so Frigga knows that nobody knew where you were either."

He groans. "Alright, _fine_. But I hurt _every_where, so maybe before they get here…?"

"Call in the nurse to sedate you again? Yeah, I can do that."

Loki gives the tiniest of smiles, but the warmth in it is brighter than the sun. "You know I love you, right?"

Tony smiles back, bending down to kiss him softly. "Of course. Sleep well, little lover."

Tony gets a nurse and she happily puts him under again, going off on "how the poor dear must be feeling". As soon as she's gone, Tony sends a text to Phil: **Call me.**

Phil calls him a couple minutes later. "Hey, what's up?"

"I…thought it'd be good to bring in his mom and Thor," Tony says, holding Loki's good hand and rubbing softly at the skin with his thumb."

"Not dad?"

"_Not_ dad."

"Alright, I'll excuse Thor and have him call his mother. Are you going to stay there?"

"Yeah, I'll have Steve grab some stuff for me after school is out. I'll come to school tomorrow."

"Kay. I'll text you when I've excused Thor."

Tony nods even though he can't see him. "Sounds good. Thanks."

"Anything for you, Tone."

Tony hangs up, sighs, and waits.

**XxX**

_October 30  
Tuesday…_

He's almost asleep again when they show up, Thor booming him wide away with an angry, "STARK".

Tony stands straight up and salutes, partly because he's terrified and partly because he's an ass. "Yes, sir!"

"What _happened_?" he growls.

Tony sighs, drooping a little. He pulls the chair out and motions politely to Frigga to sit.

"Mrs. Asgard," he says, "I'm Tony Stark, your son's boyfriend. It's my house he's been staying at lately. I'm…sorry it's under these circumstances that we're meeting."

She nods and pats his hand with a warm—but distraught—smile. "It's a pleasure, Anthony. Please, continue on about my son."

Tony doesn't question how she knows what his full name is, but instead gets on with it. He doesn't mention the recording; he'll show it to Thor later, if/when Loki gives him permission to. He doesn't go into details, but just that he left Tony's late, got ran into, got beat up, and was then taken in. At the descriptions and names of the assaulters, though…

Thor releases the most feral growl that Tony has ever heard in his life before turning to Frigga.

"Could it be?" she asks quietly.

"I am sure of it," Thor replies.

Tony frowns. "What, you know them?"

"Back at Loki's old school," Thor says, turning to him, "there were two students that constantly bullied Loki, threatening him and telling him to finish himself what his true father wanted to do. That's why he left; because they would not leave him alone. The old news article of Loki's father has long been online to read. They are super-seniors this year, by the names of Amora and Skurge. They have stopped by our residence, even, to shout threats and desecrate our property, because Loki's true father long ago killed both of their parents, along with Amora's mothers parents and Skurge's aunt. Loki has the articles of their deaths taped to the wall of his bedroom. I believe that, for some reason, he has figured out a way to blame himself for every murder his true father ever went through with."

Tony's heart breaks a little bit more, and Frigga must notice, because she pats his hand again.

"Loki said that he didn't know who they were, though," he says. "He couldn't have forgotten about them in just the few months away from them. Could he have? He couldn't have…"

Thor shakes his head. "Whatever he said, Tony, was a lie. They are brought up constantly in my home. That is part of the reason that he does not stay in our home as often as he is able. They still come by on occasion."

Tony's frown deepens. "Really? He told me that it was…" He trails off, not sure if he should say out loud that he just happens to hate most of his family members.

"There is no need to take care of what you say, Anthony," Frigga says, taking lightly a hold of Loki's good hand. "We are well aware of what the circumstances he told you are. I am very thankful for you, you know." She turns to smile at him. "Without your hospitality to Natasha, I do not know what would have become of any of us. My son's have told me all about you, including the true story of when Thor was suspended. I am sorry for his actions, as I know he is as well."

Tony blushes a little. "Oh, it's, uh, it's fine. I wouldn't have met Lo' if—er, have met Loki if he hadn't of. He rescued me that day."

Frigga smiles a tad wider. "I have been well informed, yes. Thank you for taking him in."

Tony unsuccessfully covers his snort, because he did _not_ plan on taking Loki in. the guy just short of…shoved himself through the door. "Yeah, uh, welcome." He looks back at Thor. "So, I understand if he lied to _me_ about not knowing who they were, but there were two policemen that were in here a while ago that he was talking to. He was only awake just long enough to talk to them before a nurse put him back under. I can get keeping it a secret from me so I wouldn't ask questions about it or whatever, but lying to the fuzz maybe isn't the best plan of attack. Not that I haven't done that more than my fair share, but you know."

Thor's face hardens a little. "I nearly forgot. When this started one and a half years ago, Loki and I decided with each other that if they came true on their threats, we would tell no one it was them, and that we would find them ourselves and teach them a lesson. I know he can takes care of himself, but the Enchantress and Executioner are not to be trifled with." (Tony mentally rolls his eyes. Did Clint come up with _those_ nicknames, too?). "We take no precautions."

"Oh _Thor_!" Frigga chides. "That's no way to do it! You call the police to come get them while at school to embarrass them!"

Thor gives a sad smile. "Do you really believe that would be enough, mother?"

She gives a warm smile. "Pardon my French, loves, but, darling…" She squeezes her eyes shut tight for just a moment, and when they open, Tony swears he can see the blood of an angered mother pulsing in the whites. "Burn those fuckers _down_."

Thor gives one of those grins he used to give before breaking Tony's nose. "Do you think Baldur will be back in time?"

"Call him and he will make sure of it."

"Baldur?" Tony asks.

Thor frowns. "Loki has not told you?"

"Told me what?"

"About Baldur."

"Who's Baldur?"

"Baldur is our half-brother."

Tony blinks a bit. "You and Loki have a _brother_?"

Thor nods. "He is five years older than I, of Odin's blood and of his first wife's. She was given custody of him after the divorce, and Baldur is therefore in this New York home very little. We did not grow up together aside from smaller holidays and every other Christmas. This year he will not be coming."

"What do you mean by _smaller_ holidays?"

"Halloween, New Year's, Easter, winter and spring breaks. A week or two during the summer. Things as such. He is coming down from college because he has classes off for reasons I do not know."

"I—just—he—how was he never brought up until now?"

He gives Loki a very brotherly look. "Loki and Baldur do not exactly…get along. He is often jealous."

Tony raises an eyebrow. "Jealous? Of what?"

"Looks, grades, and friends. Four-point-oh without trying with a social life and a perfect girlfriend."

Tony frowns. "I thought his grades were perfect."

"He has a three-point-eight. Better than most, but not compared to Baldur."

"Well…a social life? He's got that. Perfect girlfriend, not so much, but you'd think he'd be okay with that considering he doesn't like girls."

"Baldur makes it seem very easy, though," Frigga says. "Things have come naturally to him all his life, and he is very handsome. His friends jokingly call him the God of Light, because he's so cheerful that light seems to shine from him."

"Also he's rather pale," Thor says with a laugh, "with hair as blonde as blonde can be, and eyes the lightest blue you will ever see."

Tony's eyes narrow. "Loki doesn't like his own looks or something? Dude, he is _hot_." Then he realizes that he's talking to his _mom_. "Er, sorry," he says guiltily.

Frigga smiles warmly in acceptance as Thor says, "Baldur is better. He—"

The hospital room door _bursts_ open to reveal none other than Odin, face hard but eye soft and sad. "How is he? How is my son?"

Tony's eyes narrow. Whatever he and Loki were talking about last night, it wasn't going well. But he quick looks happy and polite, because now he has a chance to make an impression with_out_ his father hanging over his shoulder.

"He'll be alright," Frigga says gently. "Many bruises and small breaks, but he will live. Odin, it was…"

Thor growls again. "It was _them_."

The soft look in Odin's eye is gone in a flash of black rage, and he looks over at Thor. "Baldur will be here. He will help."

"Yes, I will call him in moments."

Tony wrinkles his nose up. How important _is_ this guy? Why has Tony never heard of him?! Is Loki really that jealous of him? Tony can help that.

Odin turns from Thor to give Tony a hard look, to which Tony returns before saying, "May I have a word with you, please, sir?" as politely as he can.

The man nods, and he and Tony sweep themselves out of the room.

"You are Tony, correct?" Odin asks once the door is shut.

"Tony Stark," Tony says, shaking his hand. "And I'll know you as 'sir' and 'Mr. Asgard'. I want to apologize for what you saw of me yesterday. My father and I have a long and unhealthy feud of a relationship."

Odin nods. "I understand, and I accept your apology. The fact that you are apologizing at all shows a maturity level I quite approve of. Is that all you have to say?"

"No, I…" He swallows, pulling out his phone and sweeping aside with is thumb the text he has from Jarvis. "I gave your son a watch a few weeks ago that has the ability to record what goes on around it. It was a safety precaution, for things like this, and he knew about it." He pockets the phone. "But I, um, also heard his end of the phone call with you from last night…" He watches Odin's expression turn slightly embarrassed. "I don't know what you said to him, but I heard his _reaction_, so I know how upset it made him. I…" He lets out a steady breath. "He rescued me from being beaten to a pulp by Thor, back when we weren't friends, and then he just sort of kept following me around. I didn't like it at first, because he annoyed me, but…well, he grows on you, and now it hurts when he's _not_ around. I…I can deal with my own hurt, but I don't like it when _he's_ hurt. You're his dad, and most people see that as an excuse to do whatever you want to your kids, but my dad is a prime example of that _not_ being okay.

"I just want to… I don't know, can you try harder? Because I don't want him to turn out like me, sir. He's still so cute and happy, like a child, and I want him to stay that way. Because I'm a total ass, and all my friends—even my best friend—freely admit that. But he plays Mario and imitates the sounds that Kirby makes. And he still says 'boo!' and he makes sound affects when playing with the science experiments I have lying around my room and I used to drink all the time because I had access to alcohol but now I don't! He's made me a better person, at least a little bit, and I don't want anything to change him. Being hurt or neglected or beat up for his biological dad, which he has no control over… That changes a person, and I do my best to protect him, but I wasn't able to last night because I was asleep. I would have driven him home myself, but I couldn't because I wasn't awake to do so.

"So I…" He sighs. "He loves you, you know? He calls you 'dad' even though you're not his real dad, and even though Thor's not his real brother he calls him that and even though Frigga—er, Mrs. Asgard isn't his real mom he still loves her as much as any son would. Even _I_ love my mom! Granted, she's actually the sweetest thing in the world and I have _no_ idea why she married my dad, but still. He wants you guys to love him, and he's got that from Thor and Frigga, but now he just needs it from you. I don't know much about the home life you four have except that you and Frigga don't seem to care about if they come home for the night. Loki's usually on my couch"—lies—"and I'm not really sure where Thor sleeps"—more lies—"but I know that they're safe there—I mean, at my place. We have state-of-the-art everything." He looks down, because sometimes he rambles, and he really doesn't want to do that here. "I guess that's mostly all I have to say. I just don't want to see him hurt, and if that means talking to you like this right now, then…" He shrugs, looking back up. "So be it."

Tony expected a lot of things. Glaring, being told to mind his own business, being told not to talk to Loki again (which he would completely ignore), even a possible smile. But a hug? No. not even a little bit. So when he gets one he sort of just…stands there.

"Uh…" he sputters.

When Odin pulls away he rests both hands on Tony's shoulders. "Loki used to believe that he was cursed. In the orphanage and for a few months after we adopted him. He ran away, but he only made it to the park, in which he decided he was going to rule the whole playground. It worked, actually, until Thor went out and dragged him back." He drops his hands. "When we adopted Loki, Thor was the one who picked him out. The entire orphanage and he picks out the one that does not look a thing like him. Whatever other reasons there were, I do not know, and I probably never will.

"But Loki is right in saying that I only adopted him for the image. At first, I did not want him. But he has grown on me. He was my son, but the last few years I have been truly proud of him. He is not cursed. His _father_ was cursed. He may still believe he is, too be honest, and I regret that I did not help him, because my wife and Thor have never been aware of that particular belief. I would appreciate very much if you could convince him otherwise, actually. But aside from that, that is partly why he was so angry with me. You want me to show him my love for him, but it has been so long that he no longer wants it. He _did_ want it, but now he would rather I just be out of his life. I am afraid, Stark, that I have waited to long to be his father." The look in his eye is sad again, and he averts it for a moment. "I do not know how to fix what I have created."

Tony smiles. "I'll talk to him."

He looks back, eye wide. "You would?"

"Of course I would. I know what it's like growing up hating your father, and I would never want that for anybody else. I'll do whatever I can."

Another smile from Odin leaves Tony grinning back. Two in one lifetime? When you're hot you're hot!

"Anyway," Tony coughs. "I'll let you go back in, yeah? And I'll…sit out here. Give the family some time alone."

The door bursts open to reveal Frigga. "You will do no such thing!" she says sternly, eyes bright.

"Lovey!" Odin says, exasperated. "You cannot just listen through doors like that!"

"Too late!" she says cheerily, flitting her wrist. "Anthony, _darling_." She yanks him forward and envelopes him into a bone crushing hug. "You are the sweetest thing, you know? I don't care if anything ever happens between you and Loki, you are going to be in our family for_ever_."

Tony almost starts crying as he reaches to hold her back. "I, um, uh, thanks."

When she lets go she gives a bright smile before trying to shuffle Tony in, but he protests: "Oh, no, I couldn't. You guys should all…bond and stuff. Besides, I gotta make some calls, and—"

"Say no more," she says, holding a hand up. "We'll leave you to your own. Just knock when you're done!" She grabs Odin's hand, who gives Tony an apologetic smile, and the door swings lightly shut behind them.

Tony gives an exasperated sigh. Right. He poured his heart out in a PG-as-he-can manner in which he got on the good side of his boyfriends father, and then said boyfriends mother listened through the door so he's forever in their family. Is that a good thing? For now, maybe. But if anything _does_ happen between him and Loki… Well, he'll just be optimistic. He's not very good at that, but he can sure try.

* * *

References: 1. _Two in one lifetime? When you're hot you're hot!_

Totally stole this from a Red Dwarf episode whoops

2. Odin calls Frigga "lovey" after she listened to his and Tony's conversation through the door, and I stole that from Gilligan's Island. It's what Thurston would always call Mrs. Howell, and I decided that Odin is a closet-softy because he's cute like that.

End chapter authors notes: I was trying to come up with a better title for this chapter but the fact that I am listening to a version of "A Whole New World" sung by Professor Oak and Jigglypuff is definitely not helping my creative juices flow, mostly because I'm laughing so hard. It's 1:40 in the morning; I really need to go to bed. Either way, I named it this simply because this is like the millionth time there has been a hospital/health clinic/whatever that anybody has been to. Also because a whole bunch of people show up in it just to see Loki, so it's trending because…lot's of people are there? Ugh Florence and the Machine isn't helping either I should really just go to bed.

Anyhoo, tell me what you thought of my twist being Amora and Skurge! I mean there are quite a few twists in here I guess… And they're just going keep coming, so never mind. Good luck surviving this!

Also if you don't like my depiction of Odin…not my problem. I wrote Howard like a dick because he is a dick, but I wrote Odin softer. Speaking from the movie, maybe he did lie to Loki about his being a Frost Giant and telling him that he, too, could rule the kingdom. But honestly, would your ten-your-old self _want_ to hear that you were the monsters under children's beds and always going to be second after your adopted brother for the rest of your life? I don't know about you guys but I think I would have rather it gone the way it did in the movie. Odin didn't laugh at him or anything when he told him, either, he was soft about it. The whole "Am I cursed?" "No" and "You are my son" thing. And then…convenient Odin sleep? I don't know, whatever.


	12. NF?-OF?-SIAAF!

**12: New Friends?—Old Friends?—Shake It All About Friends!**

_October 30  
Tuesday…_

Tony pulls out his phone and checks the one message from Jarvis saying that he's done and he'll begin to sync up because he knows that's the next project, and also one from Steve:

**Bruce says u got pulled out by Coulson?**

Tony doesn't care that he's in school. He calls him. He's just in art class anyway.

"Seriously?" Steve says right when he answers. "I had to literally run out of class with my stuff blabbering something about an emergency and now I'm probably going to have detention or something. You couldn't have texted me?"

"He's in the hospital, Steve," Tony says.

The blonde is momentarily silent. "What? Oh my word, is he okay? What happened?"

"It's…really bad. I don't want to explain it because I'm going to have to again to everybody else. I've got—"

Steve cuts him off with a faded "hey!" before there's a new voice saying his name.

Tony frowns. "Natasha?"

"Yeah, who else could sneak up on Steve and then jump high enough to snatch his phone? Tell me _everything_."

"Like I just told Steve, I only want to explain it again once, so I'll tell you all later." Geez, this is what he gets for having so many friends around. He gets to tell a story eight thousand separate times. "Just know that it's not pretty."

"No, I'm not sitting here that long. I'm coming now."

"Um…his family's with him right now…"

"Dude, they provided Thor and I condoms once. They love me."

"Can't you just wait for everybody else?"

"Wait? Hell no, I'm going to get them too!"

Tony purses his lips. "Here, go talk to Coulson."

"What? Why? How can he help at all?"

"Just trust me. Tell him that Tony's calling in Favor Number Twelve."

"What the fu—"

"No, don't ask questions. I'll explain that later too. After he gives an exasperated sigh, you've got a whole list of names to give him, so write them down."

"I don't need to write things down, dude. Just tell me."

"Alright, alright. You and Steve, Bruce, Pepper, Clint, Gwen, and Peter."

"Only seven names and you wanted me to write them down?" She snorts. "You have no faith, Tone. Should I bring Steve with me to go talk to him?"

"Yeah."

"Got it. I'll…go talk to Coulson."

"Kay, text me when you're all coming."

"Over and out." She hangs up.

Tony blinks at his phone. "Over and out?" he repeats. He shakes his head, pressing speed dial number two to call Jarvis (it would be number one, but his voicemail stole that spot). He also realizes about then that he has no idea where he is because he was walking aimlessly while on the phone. Might as well keep going with that.

"Hello, sir," Jarvis answers. "I am in the middle of syncing myself to the recorder watch databases, since I researched what I could on the two names. Would you like the information now?"

"Holy shit, Jay," Tony says, blinking down at his phone. "What if it wasn't me? Anyone at all could get all my information with a 'hello' like that!"

"I recognized your breathing pattern, sir, and I would have known by the voice you answered with to hear it. And, with all due respect, why would a stranger call _me_ out of _all_ your contacts?"

Tony grins. He could literally name every single one off because there are so little: Loki, Steve, Bruce, Pepper, Natasha, Thor, Clint, Phil, Jarvis, his parents, himself (sometimes he gets bored and edits his own contact or something), his father's direct work number (he doesn't have the hair salon anymore because his mom quit when Natasha and Clint moved in), and he snagged both Gwen's and Peter's from Loki's phone when he wasn't looking for emergency purposes. Literally only fifteen people.

"Smart ass," he says to Jarvis. "Love you. Did you find their locations?"

"Unfortunately I was unable to locate them by their nicknames, but I found an internet blog that they both run, through their real names are not mentioned. The woman, 'Ora, goes by—"

"The Enchantress, yeah, I know. Send 'em a guest message for me, okay?"

"Of course, sir. The message?"

"'You have no idea who you're dealing with.' And I guess that's it. I don't want to give them any warnings that they're fucked."

"You seem to know more about them than you did earlier, sir. I wouldn't mind a filling in."

"Oh, yeah, you don't know yet. We've got their real names because Loki's family knows them. They've been after him for a while, apparently. Finally went through with it. So Thor and Baldur are gonna get them back for it."

"Baldur, sir?"

"Oh wow, you don't know that either! Loki and Thor have a half-brother."

"Oh, Baldur, yes, I know him."

Tony blinks a bit. "You do…?

"Oh yes, Loki calls me often."

"He does? For what?!"

"Just for someone to talk to. Many of your friends do."

"I—what? Really? Who?"

"Mr. Rogers, Miss Potts, Phil"—(Jarvis and Phil have long been on a first name basis)—"Mr. Barton, and your mother."

Tony actually drops his phone, diving down to snatch it up and off the ground and then sitting in a hallway waiting chair so he doesn't fall over. "Clint and my _mother_? I didn't even know she knew about you! What do you guys _talk_ about?"

"That's confidential, sir."

"_Confidential_? I _made_ you! I created you with wires and circuit boards and my own two hands! Don't give me that confidential bullshit!"

"She's your mother, Anthony."

Tony sighs. When Jarvis actually calls him by his full first name, he knows he's lost. "Fine, but _only_ because she's my mother. How did _Clint_ get your number?"

"He got it from Mr. Banner."

"What does _he_ talk about, his porn addiction?"

"That is also confidential."

"_What_? How is _his_ stuff inaccessible? _He's_ not my mother!"

There's a laugh, and Tony snaps his head up to see, in the room across from his chair, a giggling girl. She looks about his age, with his hair and eye color, but her _breast_ size. Good lord. She stops laughing when she sees that Tony is looking at her.

"Hi!" she says, mascara'd eyes wide and red-lipsticked lips smiling bright. "I don't know what you're talking about but it's hilarious."

Tony instantly likes her. "I'll call you back, Jay," he says into the mic before hanging up. "Who are you?" he asks the girl, standing up and leaning against her open doorframe.

"Darcy Lewis," she says, sitting up. She doesn't look too bad. No bandages around her wrists or anything. Just a tiny strip over her nose and her leg being lifted up because it's broken. Okay so maybe it is generally bad, but compared to Loki nothing is bad right now. "Who're you?"

He drops his phone into his pocket. "Tony Stark."

"_Well_, Mr. Stark. I am on pain meds and horny as balls, and you are _hot_. Please tell me you have a cigarette or a bottle of rum, because yo-ho-ho it's a pirate life for me."

Tony's not sure if he should laugh or cringe, so he just smirks and looks down at the ground and then back up at her. "Lots of no's for you right there. I'm not single, I don't smoke, and I stopped drinking."

She shrugs. "Just my luck. Whatchyuh doin' around here for, talkin' 'bout moms?"

"Partner's in the hospital," Tony says, walking into the room to lean against the wall opposite the bed.

"You can just say boyfriend, you know," she says, rolling her eyes. "I'm not going to call security on you or something."

Tony smirks again. "I didn't think you wouldn't, but I didn't want to find out."

She nods. "I know that feeling. Not in the same way, because I'm straight as balls, but you know. What happened to him?"

"Car crash immediately followed by an assault."

"Ouch," she grimaces. "No fun. You like the bad boys, I see."

"Naw, just the ones with bad dads is all. He's sweeter than honey and the nicest thing alive. Take you under his wing in a second. Jumps out from behind bushes and tries to scare you. Taps you on your left shoulder when he's actually on your right. Stuff like that."

She laughs. "Well _I_ say he's a keeper. What're you doin' here if he's wherever he is?"

"Family time."

"Ah. Not my thing. Never really knew my parents."

Tony frowns. "Adopted?"

"Not at first. I was fostered before my single mom died of an overdose, so _then_ they adopted me."

"Funny. I mean, not funny, but my boyfriend's adopted too—except right away. Well…if you can call the age of seven 'right away'."

She chuckles. "Not exactly, but we will anyway. They like you? His parents, I mean."

"Mom loves me, his dad I'm not exactly sure where he stands, I've never met his step-brother, and his brother used to beat me up all the time. That's how we met. Rescued me one day."

She bursts into loud, obnoxious, unhindered laughter. "That is the most adorable thing I have ever heard in my life. I wish I could meet someone like that. Problem is, I'd be the one beating them up. Well…I don't really do hand-to-hand unless I need to. I'd rather taze 'em."

"Oh? You just keep this tazer lying around, do you?"

She grins and points to her backpack beside the bed. "Don't make me show you."

Tony chuckles. "Alright, you're crazy, I get it. What're you in here for?"

She rolls her eyes. "My best friend hit me with her car again."

Tony sputters a bit. "Your _best friend_ hit you with her car _again_?"

She shrugs. "That's what everybody says, but it's cool. Her insurance pays for it, so whatever. They don't like her much, but that's cool too. Jane's good enough at faking sweet that she can get away with it."

Tony frowns. "Jane Foster, by chance?"

Darcy's eyes suddenly get very wide. "You're that _one_ guy."

"If by 'that one guy' you mean the guy that beats her every biannual science fair so that she gets second place, then yes, that is me."

She gives out her obnoxious laugh again. "Wow, I can't wait to tell her, this is hilarious. I mean that you're actually really cool and shit, because she totally hates you."

"And you don't?"

"Just because my friend hates somebody doesn't mean I'm going to too. I'm a bitch, but I know my place. Unless there's an actual reason for me to hate somebody, I don't really give a damn."

Tony smirks. "How long are you gonna be here?"

"I should be headin' out in, like, two days."

"Two days?"

"Yeah, that's what I said."

"Kay, don't let them move you. And if they do, find me."

She cocks an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because I'll have a surprised for you and I don't want you to miss it."

She smiles. Not one of those "you bloody liar" smiles you give a stranger, but a genuine little thing. "A surprise?"

Tony grins. A good old fashioned "I've got something up my sleeve again" one, too. "You'll see. But hey, I gotta go, okay?" He leans away from her wall and goes back to the doorway. "I'll see you again."

"Yeah?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?"

She giggles. The same one she gave when Tony first heard her. "Yeah, alright, I'll see you tomorrow. Tell your boyfriend I said hi. What's his—"

"Loki," Tony says, a warm smile spreading across his face without him trying to. "His name is Loki. Black hair, green eyes, and a lean little thing. Two black eyes and more in a hospital gown; you can't miss him."

She smiles. "If I see him, which I won't, I'll say hi for myself. For now, though…"

"You got it, Darc' ole girl," he says, pointing at her and giving a wink. "Sorry I can't stay, but we've got nine of our other friends comin' to see him and I should be there before they show up."

Her face falls.

Tony frowns. "What is it?"

"Seven?" she whispers. "Plus you and his family?"

"…yes?"

"…oh." She looks down. "Have fun."

Tony instantly walks over to her, dragging the one chair over to sit beside her. "Hey, none of that, what's wrong? What's so bad about seven people?"

She shakes her head. "No, it's not that, I just… It's nothing, it's my own problem. It's alright."

"Yeah? Tell me about it?"

She looks up at him. "I don't have many friends, you know? Actually, I have two. Jane and her adopted father Erik, who I've been living with for the last few months because I'm sort of a bitch and got kicked out by my other family. I turned eighteen and that was that. So I just…it hurts sometimes, to hear about other people having so many people for them. Families and friends and all that. I'm not going to cry over it, but it still makes me a little sad. I've already been here a couple days and you, Jane, and Erik are the only ones that have come. I talk to people in school, but none of them ever ask for my number or tell me that we need to hang out more. I've got a van and job so I could easily meet up with people and go see a movie because I've got the transportation _and_ the money, and everybody knows it because my van's kind of big… They just never ask. I know I'm annoying, but…" She shrugs. "I don't know, I want a bagel."

Tony blinks at her. "They're all idiots. I can get you one."

She smiles. "Really?"

"Yeah, totally. Plus that other surprise."

"That would be awesome. Here, give me your phone and I'll give you my number."

Tony nods and pulls it out, holding it out to—"Oh _my_," he says, looking down at the screen. "Four missed calls from Natasha. Let me fix that, Darc' ole girl." He dials, and the first thing he gets is a loud:

"You _asshole_! Why didn't you answer me? Where _are_ you?"

"Whoa there, chica, calm down. I didn't feel the buzz. I was making a new friend."

Natasha is silent for a moment. "Your boyfriend looks like _this_ and you're _wandering the hospital_?!"

"I was giving him some time with his family! Unlike the rest of us he's at least got a full fake one."

"Yeah, well, his parents are gone and Thor is snoring on the floor, and you need to be here because why the hell is _Coulson_ with us?"

Tony chuckles. "He's still there? It's a long story, I'll be right over."

"Yeah bitch, you better. What's your friend's name, anyway?"

"Darcy Lewis."

"Cool! I'll tell Jarvis you say hi!"

"Wait, Nat, I—"

She hangs up.

He sighs.

Darcy chuckles. "What?"

"A friend of mine is going to research you, so I hope you're okay without secrets."

"Yeah, that's cool."

"Good!" He hands her his phone on the new contact page, standing when she hands it back. He swings over to the door and around the frame. "I'll see you around, Darc' ole girl!"

"Bye!" she calls after him.

Tony skips down the hallways, realizing he's on a completely different floor and not just down the hallway. He takes the stairs nearly three at a time before bursting into Loki's room, yelling out, "The fuuun has arriiiived!"

All of Loki (when he woke up, Tony doesn't know), Steve, Bruce, Pepper, Natasha, Clint, Phil, Gwen, and Peter look over at him (not Thor because he's still asleep), all of them looking completely distressed except for the brief smiles he gets from Steve and Bruce.

But then he realizes where he is, and what happened, and why he had to leave Darcy. Darcy…she was his momentary depression high because she didn't know what all had happened. About…about the thrashings and—

His face falls, and he catches a brief look of panic in the eyes of the three women in the room before he retreats from the room at an impossible speed, slamming the door shut and just…running. Not really to anywhere, but anywhere at all. You'll end up anywhere you want when you don't have anywhere to go.

He ends up outside, up on the roof of the hospital. You'd think it would have been locked, but it looks like luck is on his side for now. He goes to the edge, leaning against it and dragging his hands down his face to keep from crying.

He feels a soft hand on his shoulder, not bothering to turn and see who it is. They'll talk and he'll figure it out anyway.

"Hey," they say softly. Steve. Figures. Best friend and all. Tony's glad for that.

"Hey," Tony says back, his voice cracking even on that one word. "Is Phil okay?"

"…you mean Mr. Coulson?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, he's…he's fine. Tony, what was that all about? Happiness and then…running."

"Did Natasha tell you why I didn't answer her calls?"

"Yeah, some dame distracted you."

"Exactly. She was so…so happy, you know? She didn't know any of our stories or the whole reason why I was even here, and…" He sighs. "I was talking to Jarvis on my cell phone and I said something funny and I happened to be outside of her open door and she laughed at me. She laughed and then we started talking and then I started laughing too and it was perfect for at least a moment. That's what I like about new people. You can just…forget about a few things for a while. You can—"

"Excuse us!"

Tony and Steve each give little yelps as they jump around to see four people. Not employees and not patients. They're just a few years younger looking; no more than fifteen and no less than ten.

The oldest looking is the girl, with…well, two different sides, as it were. She has a least ten different piercings, all on her left side, as well as fake tattoos of her skeleton and eyeliner decorations only on that side as well. She's also got a bit of a Cruella de Ville hairstyle goin' on.

The next oldest is a somewhat scaly looking boy, his eyes wide apart, with pupils more like slits. His nose is flat, with wide nostrils, his teeth are perfect and flat apart from the canines which look sharp enough to pierce a rock, and he's completely hairless apart from eyelashes. He also doesn't seem to be blinking at all, and his ears are tiny.

Next is a boy nearly one-hundred percent opposite compared to the other except for his eyes. A large nose, crooked and jagged teeth, and hair _everywhere_. His nails are long and sharp, and he looks a little…crazed.

And the last and tiniest has skin that seems to be graying, with eyes black as night and _huge_ nostrils. His face is long, with ears that seem to twitch and _huge_ eyelashes. His hair is black, cut into a Mohawk, but shaggy with a sort of tail of it in the back so it drops down a bit past his shoulders. His arms and legs seem too long for him, and he has six fingers on each of his hands.

"Uh…" Tony says.

"Hi?" Steve ventures.

"Hi!" the girl says. "Tony?"

"…yes?" Tony says.

She smiles brightly. "You're Loki's boyfriend."

Tony nods slowly. "And you are…?"

"I'm Hela, but most just call me Hel. These are my brothers. Jörmungandr"—the hairless one—"Fenrir"—the hairy one—"and Sleipnir!"—the one with the Mohawk. "Jör, Fen, and Sly for short. We were in the orphanage with Loki."

Tony's knees give out, but thankfully Steve catches him.

"You're from his orphanage?" Tony asks, using Steve and the roof ledge for support. "How old are you guys?"

"Jör and I are fifteen, Fen is fourteen, and Sly is thirteen."

Tony blinks a little. "And you're all related? How are you and…and Jör the same age?"

"Oh, no, we're not related by blood. We were just adopted together. Our parents died in a plane crash on a trip for their anniversary, and now we've got three parents!" She seems so excited about it, so Tony makes sure not to make a face. He's not one to judge, after all. "Two moms and a dad. Anyway, after our real parents died we were put into the same orphanage as Loki. Sly doesn't remember him except for what he looks like since he was only three, Fen remembers him but not very well since he was four, but Jör and I remember him pretty good even though we were five. We called him daddy because he would tell us stories and help us learn to read and he was the one that gave us our nicknames and…" She smiles brightly. "He helped raise us. After the one-eyed man and his two companies, though, we never heard from him again until we were visiting our sick adopted grandma and heard through the grapevine that the 'son of the long dead Laufeyson Lunatic' was being held here. We want to go see him!"

Tony blinks some more. "And you…are asking me for permission?"

The four of them nod. "We walked passed the room right as you ran out of it," Jör says, his voice low and little bit hissy/breathy. "We saw how many people were in the room and didn't want to intrude."

"How did you know I was his boyfriend, though? And my name?"

"We knew your name because he said it," Fen says, pointing a finger at him, the nail cracked and dirty looking.

"And we knew you were dating him because you ran so fast!" Sly says, holding his hands in front of his face a bit, as if to protect himself. "People only run like that when they're running from someone they love."

"Or if they're being chased by wolves," Fen says, his eyes glinting.

"Shhh," Jör hisses, batting at his shoulder.

"Anyway," Hel says, holding one hand out to Tony and the other out to Steve. "What's say you suck up those unshed tears and we go back in there, yeah?"

Tony grins and takes the hand right away. Steve is a little slower, but he eventually shrugs and takes it as well. Hel leads the way, the other three trailing after her, Tony, and Steve.

Halfway back to the room, Sly tugs quietly on Tony's shirt.

Tony looks down at him with a smile.

"Hi," he says quietly.

"Hi," Tony says back. There's obviously something a little wrong with Sly (and Fen, too…). Nothing _too_ bad; just a social disorder, maybe. Tony understands that. He's shy.

"What's your friend's name?"

"It's Steve. Why don't you go talk to him?"

Sly shakes his head. "I don't like talking to strangers."

"Then why are you talking to me?"

"Because you're daddy's boyfriend. You can't be bad if he likes you enough to call you that."

Tony heard that they call him daddy earlier, but he can't help but ask… "Why do you call him daddy? I mean, if you don't remember him."

"Because Hel and Jör do, so I know he must have been good. We have pictures too, and he looked really nice. He always had dark circles under his eyes…"

"We don't know what those are from, though," Fen says, eyes darting. "Not enough sleep or drugs or from being bullies all the time."

"Loki would never do drugs," Tony reassures them, "and he goes to sleep way too early. Were there lots of bullies there?"

"Not to us younger kids, I don't think. I don't remember much. But Hel and Jör say that there were a couple that used to make fun of Loki for playing with us all the time."

"And he may get plenty of sleep now," Jör pipes in, "but he hardly got any back in the orphanage. None of us did. There were a lot of younger kids that cried a lot, so it was difficult for anybody to."

They come to the door, and Tony holds his hand up for them to wait before taking Steve's hand and dragging him inside. "Is Loki still awa—" he starts, but when he sees that he is, he stops and smiles. "I, uh, have a surprise for you."

Loki tilts his head slightly. "An explanation for sprinting out of the room?"

"Uh, no, that will come later. As will the reason that he"—he points at Phil—"is here."

"Loki already explained it," Gwen says. Then she narrows her eyes slightly, but more in a joking manner. "Also about the watch."

Tony gives a guilty smile, to which Phil returns. "I already got reamed for it," he says. "Not even by her, but Natasha."

Tony winces. "I wish I could make a joke about it not actually being that bad that you were in trouble with me, but anything about Natasha being mad is definitely not okay. Anyway! Loki, there are four people that I want you to meet. I mean, not meet, because you've already met them, but…" He sighs. "Never mind. Come on in, guys."

* * *

End chapter authors notes: this title was…well, thought up at one in the morning too. So. The new friends are Darcy, Hel, Jör, Fen, and Sly, and then the old friends are…well obviously the ones that we've already met. And the "shake it all about friends" was just the one in the morning wearing me down whoops :P


	13. The Avengers Initiative

**13: The Avengers Initiative**

_October 30  
Tuesday…_

Sly comes in first, following by Hel, Jör, and Fen in the back, all of them letting out a happy little, "Daddy!" at the sight of him. Sly's is cute and _sounds_ like a smaller child, Fen's is sort of scratchy and slightly creepy, Hel's is the sort a full grown woman would give her dad for the rest of her life, and Jör's is an attempted and failed sound of maturity when being a male using the word _daddy_ at the age of fifteen.

Loki's jaw drops. "Oh my lord and everything holy," he whispers. "Is that…Hel, Jör…good lord. Is that Fen and Sly? You guys got huge! My word, come here, come here before I hurt myself again!"

They rush over to him, Hel and Sly on one side and Jör and Fen on the other. It doesn't matter what his injuries he's got, Loki manages to wrap both his arms around them, and a few tears escaping from his eyes that are squeezed shut tight.

"I think I'm going to throw up," he says, pulling his arms away from them and wiping his eyes. "I should not be going through this much excitement after being stabbed."

"Who are these ones, exactly?" Bruce asks as politely as he can.

Loki gives him the brightest smile in the world. "These four were in the orphanage with me, when I was seven." He motions to Hel. "This is Hela, who was five the last time I saw her. And Jörmungandr there was five as well. Fenrir and Sleipnir can't possibly remember me, they were only two and one." He lets out a happy sigh. "You've all gotten so _big_!"

"You've grown yourself!" Jör says with a grin. "Few more bruises then I remember, though. What happened?"

"And I heard something about being stabbed?" Hel asks.

Fen takes in a deep breath through his nose. "I think the bandages around your thigh need to be replaced."

Sly leans up and _lightly_ nuzzles his side. "On the bright side, you can be a mummy for Halloween tomorrow."

"Oh!" every single person above the age of sixteen in the room lets out. "Halloween!"

"I guess we won't be going to the party tomorrow," Clint says with a frown.

"Nonsense, you can still go," Loki says. "I'll just make Anthony stay here with me while the rest of you have a party. I can't be the designated driver, though." He grins. "Now, about my predicament." He looks at the four siblings around him. "Once upon time there was—"

"_Loki_!" Hel says, rolling her eyes dramatically. "We're too old for stories now! Tell us like a _normal_ person!"

"But the stories were so much fun!"

"No!"

Tony chuckles as Loki gives up and begins to tell them what happened the "boring way", but he cuts off abruptly when he realizes that he's being pushes out of the room by everyone else but Steve and Thor, because Loki's brother is _still_ asleep), and Phil follows calmly behind.

"Who the fuck invited the freshmen?" Clint asks.

"Yeah, even _I've_ never heard of them," Natasha says.

"The hairless one is freaking me out," Bruce whispers.

"And what's up with the one with _too much_ hair?" Pepper asks.

"Did nobody notice Cruella de Ville goin' all scene back in there?" Peter asks.

"I have never seen someone with such unhealthy looking skin!" Gwen says about Sly. "It looks like he's dying!"

"Whoa, whoa, one at a time," Tony says, holding his hands up. "Here's the story. When I ran out I found myself on the roof, and a while after Steve found me they found _us_. They were just some kids that were in the orphanage with Loki. You know, before Thor and his parents adopted him? Apparently Loki used to read them stories and act all fatherly to them. That's why they called him daddy. He wasn't a father at three years old, don't worry."

Bruce lets out a relieved sigh.

"And he was seven?" Natasha asks.

Tony nods. "Yeah, what's so crazy about that?"

"He's never told me anything that happened at the orphanage," she whispers, stepping back and looking down at the floor as if to ponder life itself.

"…really?"

"I've never heard of them either," Clint says, stepping over and draping an arm around Natasha's shoulders. "They don't even ring a bell."

Tony shrugs. "Well, I can't help that. You can ask him about it when they leave, okay? But not right now."

"Obviously not right _now_," Natasha says, giving him a look that suggests he's an idiot. "Come on, he's just finished." She drags Clint back inside, who snatches Bruce's hand and pulls him along as well, and Bruce grabs Tony's hand, so they're one big line. Well…"big".

"We can't stay much longer," Jör says, pulling out a phone to check the time.

"GOOD LORD!" Loki yells. "Give me all of your numbers _now_."

Tony snorts. One hint of the past and his boyfriend turns into a teenage girl.

Loki gets all four numbers, courtesy of Hel typing all of them in.

"Alright, hugs and you're allowed to leave," Loki says, opening his arms again for another probably at least a little bit painful group hug.

"Thank goodness," Fen says, shoving in for one and then leaping away. "I have to pee like nobody's business!" And he's gone.

Jör sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'll see you around, daddy," he says, walking after him. "Fen's a mess by himself."

"Call me!" Loki yells after him.

Hel giggles. "I'll text you later, okay?" she says, linking her arm with Sly's. "You can read us an actual story."

Loki grins. "I know just the one. Tell your adopted parents hi, from one old orphan to another."

They nod, making their way out. "Bye, daddy," they say. And Sly adds: "I wish I remembered you."

Loki gives a warm smile. "Me too, little dude."

When Hel and Sly are gone, Natasha all but pounces Loki. "You never mentioned them!"

He frowns a little bit. "They never came up."

"I've asked you about the orphanage _tons_ of times and you never give me _anything_."

He averts his eyes. "Maybe those memories are my own thing."

She throws her arms up, shakes her head angrily at him, and stalks darkly out of the room.

"You'd think she owned you," Tony says, frowning after her. "That's my job."

"That's not it," Loki whispers.

Tony gives him one look before announcing to the entire room that it needs to empty.

"No, stay," Loki says. "I can't tell you, Tone. I can't. I promised."

Tony instantly gives up. Even he won't pressure someone to break a promise—especially not one that involves Natasha. She just seems like the type of person that would only make promises for something deeply important. "Oh, okay," he says. "That's okay, then. Are your ribs okay after those hugs?"

Loki winces. "They're alright."

"Do you…want to go back under?"

"No, I wasn't even supposed to last time, but the nurse you got didn't know that. Apparently my injuries aren't 'big enough' to be put under." He rolls his eyes. "They could at least bring me some more chocolate milk. This hospital food is almost as bas as they make cafeteria out to be in movies."

Tony smiles warmly, going over to lean down and press a kiss to his forehead. "How much more would you love me if I went out and got you some _real_ food?"

"Infinitely."

"I shall return as soon as I can, then." He looks around the room. "Does anybody want to come with me?"

"No," Pepper says, standing, "but I need to go anyway." She goes over to Loki and kisses her finger before pressing that finger to his forehead as well. "Get well soon, yeah?" She leaves without Tony.

Tony looks over at Bruce. "Brucey-kins?"

"No," Clint says, wrapping his arms possessively around him.

Bruce rolls his eyes. "Sorry, Tone."

Tony laughs. "That's okay, I wouldn't let Loki leave either." He looks at Phil.

He stands. "I would, but I have homework to grade."

"Why did you come with them, anyway?"

He grins, pointing outside and walking out.

Tony grins after him before turning to Clint. "I'll text you if I run into Natasha."

"No need," he says, holding up his phone. "We're already talking."

"Oh, good then. I'll be back in a jiff!" He runs out after Phil, who's leaning against the wall outside of the door.

"What is it?" Tony asks, closing the door behind him.

"I, uh, would have told you this morning, but under the circumstances I decided that it would be best _not_ to bring it up until later."

"Well tell me, then!"

"I met somebody on Sunday."

Tony's jaw drops. "You got a _girlfriend_?!"

"Well, no, but we made a date of it. I was costume shopping and…well, so was she."

"Tell me _everything_. Wait, no, I have to go. Are you _sure_ you can't come with me?"

Phil sighs. "Alright, alright. But I've got to go as soon as we get back!"

"Yay!" They start walking. "Lay it on me, Phil ole boy."

"She's seven years younger than I am, named Sigyn."

"Good lord, why is everybody I know of Norse descent? They should all join a folk band or something."

Phil just rolls his eyes. "She also likes to wear a ton of pink shades, which I can get used to. She plays a number of instruments, the cello being her favorite, and likes to dance. That's…mostly all I know so far. I'm meeting with her again tomorrow night for Halloween, since she doesn't have any many friends either."

"Many?" Tony says. "Phil, bud, you have _one_."

"Jarvis makes two."

"Then Fury and Hill count too."

"That's four, then."

"Fine! Yeesh, just tell her your favorite student says hi when you see her. Don't, uh, tell her just _how_ favorite I am though."

Phil snorts. "Yeah, that won't come till later."

"What costume did you decide on? And what did she choose?"

He lets out a "good lord it was terrible" sort of _bleh_. "She's going to be Superwoman, and we literally could not find anything that I could be. We scoured the entire store and only came up with something as boring as Men in Black, since I was wearing a suit."

"You know what you should be?"

"What?"

"A tiger."

He snorts. "A tiger?"

"Yeah! You can be Hobbes!"

"But…it's not as fun if I don't have a Calvin!"

"What color is her hair?"

"Blonde."

"Then _she_ can be Calvin! You'd fit in my own tiger costume, and Bruce was just going to spray his hair with yellow stuff since he's…definitely not blonde." He frowns. "Oh. I'm going to help Bruce think of a different costume."

He sighs. "But her Superwoman costume is so perfect!"

"Alright, alright, fine, we'll figure something else out. You could be…Batman? That'd be _easy_ to make! That way, every time she calls you cute or something, you can yell 'NO DIANA, I AM THE NIGHT!' and stomp off."

He chuckles. "That's actually an okay idea. I'll surprise her."

"And send me pictures."

"Of course."

They've just now gotten to the parking lot, so instead of Phil going with him the bid each other farewell and head out. Tony calls Jarvis as he goes to and orders at the nearest pizza place to the hospital, just buying some for everyone (he hopes they like pepperoni; Loki will just pick his off and give them to Tony), grabbing liter bottles of Coke and Pepsi as well.

Tony sighs, deciding that he'll follow in the way of his friends and call Jarvis. "This day has been so weird, Jay

"And why is that, sir?" Jarvis already knows everything, but he also gets when Tony just needs to rant for a while.

"First my boyfriend is in the hospital so I cried and puked, next I had to sit through an interrogation, then I met Loki's mom, talked sternly to his dad, met a female version of me, nearly had a nervous breakdown, met four of Loki's old kids—does that mean I'm a step-dad?—and now all of my friends know that I'm friends with my advanced chemistry teacher! Well…except Thor. I wonder why he's so tired…"

"I haven't the slightest inclination, sir."

Tony frowns as he pays for his pizza and pop. "But…you know everything!" He manages to balance all his stuff while holding his phone between his shoulder and neck _and_ unlock his car without spilling everything.

"I do, but I am not at liberty to say."

"Jarvis, I swear, I'll unplug you."

"You wouldn't last a day without me, sir."

"At least tell me who told you so I can ask them."

"Mr. Asgard himself."

"…Loki?"

"Let me make clear to you my way of thinking, sir. Your boyfriend is called Loki, as you requested long ago. His brother is Mr. Asgard, and their father is Asgard senior."

"Now that's just a lot of work. Why don't you call everybody by their first names?"

"It's not professional."

"…seriously?"

"I can change it if you'd like."

"No, no, that's okay. Just…yeah."

"Splendid, sir. Is there anything else specific you wish to speak about?"

"Am I allowed to sell you off as an over-the-phone counselor to make even more money? Because if so many people talk to you then you have to be good."

"I'm more of a listener, but I am rather good at suggestions as to fixing a problem or getting through something. I am not at all sympathetic, though, so I do not believe that is wise."

Tony sighs as he parks outside of his house and rushes inside. "Well, I can't argue with that. Maybe I'll just have the people I know all get together for a group meeting run by you. Get stuff off our chests and all that."

"Would you like that to be today, sir?"

"Naw, there's no point." He grabs his four ounce bottle of Malibu rum and heads back out. "Darcy better love me after this, because I'm giving her a slice of pizza too."

"I'm sure she will, sir."

"Alright, now you're just using your 'bullshit mode'. I'll talk to you later, kay?"

"So glad you saw through it, sir. I shall see you later as well as talk to you."

Tony hangs up and drives back to the hospital, navigating around nurses with his greasy, bad for you, probably not good for hospital patient food to Darcy's room. He peeks in to see her engrossed with her phone, tongue barely sticking out and eyes darting back and forth across her screen as she plays… He listens for a few more seconds. Yup, she's playing with the Nyan cat.

"Hey you," he whispers.

She yelps, dropping her phone in her lap. "Hey! You brought me pizza!"

"Almost," he says, coming in. "I brought you a _slice_ of pizza. I know it's not a bagel, but they didn't sell them where I was." He sets the slice on her mostly empty tray of hospital food. "But I _also_ brought…" He pulls out the rum. "A pirate's life for you!"

She squeals in delight. "You are the _best_!"

He grins. "I know. Don't let them catch you with it."

She snorts, stuffing it under her blankets. "Don't be silly. Now shoo, give the rest of that pizza away."

He smiles, gathering it all up again. "I haven't texted you for my number yet, but I will, I swear."

"Sure you will."

He does manage it, too: **I hope I interrupt your game so you die.** And all without spilling anything.

When he pushes into Loki's room, Natasha is back and Thor is finally awake.

"Anyone really hate pepperoni?" he asks.

Everybody is up and taking slices instantly, complaining about there being no cups (whoops) but then just shrugging and all drinking from the bottles since nobody cares anymore. Well…Peter and Gwen take a little bit longer, since they do in fact care. Tony makes sure there's enough for Loki, which is just two pieces.

"Miss me?" he asks. He doesn't wait for Loki's reply, though. Just rests his hand on the taller boy's cheek and kisses him deeply.

"Yeah," Loki breathes, reaching up with his good hand to grip onto the front of Tony's t-shirt and pulling him back down.

"When you're well enough," Tony whispers into his ear, "we're spending the weekend anywhere but here, because maybe we have access to whatever we want, but there are always people around to _interrupt_ it."

Loki smirks. "Get me some Pepsi and we'll talk."

Loki feeds Tony his pepperoni pieces, the whole room talking rather cheerfully for the mess of things that went on today. Initial sadness for crashed and beat up Loki, Tony's depression high followed by an almost breakdown, the happiness of Loki's four "kids", and back to sadness when Natasha was hurt for whatever reason and walked out. Were they all sad the whole time Tony was gone? Probably, since Thor woke up and saw them all for the first time. Who knows how that went down.

Right when they're all about done eating, there's a knock on the door, and everybody looks up to see none other than Flash Thompson.

"Um, I'm here to pick up Peter and Gwen?" he asks somewhat awkwardly.

"Oh!" Gwen says, jumping up. "I almost forgot! I tutor him," she says to everyone else.

"Good thing we got a ride here," Peter says, standing, his skateboard under arm. "Flash, did you bring it?"

"Oh, yeah, got it here. It's alphabetized by first name. Jesse is—I mean, my sister is kind of weird, so she typed it up. We're hosting it together." He hands it over to Peter.

"Wait, what is it?" Steve asks. "What'd we miss?"

Peter holds his finger up to wait as he and Gwen scan it, their eyes hard. When done, he says to Gwen: "You or me?"

"Me, I'm softer." She looks everyone eye, stopping on Loki. "They're going to be there tomorrow night."

Everybody knows exactly who she's talking about: Amora and Skurge. Thor is obviously the loudest in his sounds of dislike, but Loki is surprisingly quietest out of them all, only staring Peter dead in the eyes. "You're not serious," he whispers.

Peter nods, holding it up. "Both names are right here, including her sister."

"I can make sure they don't come, whoever they are…" Flash says awkwardly.

"Hell no!" Clint says as Thor cracks his knuckles. "We've gotten take 'em _down_."

Natasha sighs angrily and looks at Flash. "Amora and Skurge. They're the ones that did this to Loki."

Something flashes in…Flash's…eyes (wow, that's almost as bad as a happy Happy). "I'll get the entire party to turn on them. Anybody who hurts Parker's friends is _not_ okay in my book."

"I do not think so," Thor says darkly. "This is a personal matter. If you could just get them to a…secluded outside location, we would be most grateful. There is no need to break up your party so early, for if I see them I will not be able to hold myself back."

"Well I've gotta go to _that_!" Tony says, throwing his arms up. "I can't not be a part of that!"

"Tony, no," Loki says, grabbing his arm.

They share one look before Tony is ordering everybody out again. "Get the details of the fight together or something. Lo' needs to tell me something and you guys can't hear it."

Nobody grumbles, surprisingly, except Peter gives him the tiniest of dark looks. Tony probably deserves it, considering that he stole his best friend. Oh well, he's got Gwen.

As soon as the door is shut, Tony presses his lips to Loki's forehead. "I want to be there for it."

"But I don't want you fighting!"

"If you don't want me to then I won't. I'm only good at boxing anyway, and fighting them would be street stuff. I'll just…watch?"

"You honestly can't just stay here with me?"

"What, you don't trust me?"

Loki gives a good natured eye roll. "No."

Tony gives a good natured groan. "_Fine_, I'll just stay here with you."

He smiles. "Good. You can let everybody back in now."

As everybody is walking back in, they're all talking about who gets Amora and who gets Skurge. After Tony tells them that he'll be taking the pictures, the verdict is that Amora goes to Natasha ("I've been wanting to kick her pussy in for _months_."), Gwen ("Those with no respect for others are not getting one lick of it from me."), Pepper (who's not here but will gladly help even though she's the least attached to Loki in the whole immediate group), and Clint ("I'm gay as fairy rainbows, so it's okay if I hit bitches."). So that's four against one, which is apparently only fair because both Natasha and Clint are apart of it; apparently Amora is…good at fighting.

Skurge goes to Thor (he's just fuming, but that's okay because his reasons are rather obvious), Peter ("All those fights with Flash will really come in handy!"—to which Flash grins guilty. Tony remembers those. They stopped just last year, finally), Steve ("I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from. But the ones from around here that beat up my _best friend's boyfriend_? I don't think so."), and Bruce ("I think I'm going to have an aneurism thinking about this…").

Tony laughs at Bruce's the hardest. "Are you going to lose yourself again?" he asks.

Bruce blushes, crosses his arms, and looks down at the ground, refusing to answer Clint's little whispers to tell him. He eventually caves, of course, giving a tiny description about the time his mom's at-the-time boyfriend had pissed him off.

Clint just giggles and cuddles up to him. "You're my own little hulk of well hidden anger management!"

Natasha cocks an eyebrow. "You mean 'hunk'?"

"Oh, oops, yeah, I…" He trails off, the corners of his mouth slowly pulling into a smile. "Nope. I meant Hulk!" He gives a full blown grin and pushes his fingers through Bruce's hair. "My Hulk!"

Bruce looks up from the ground with a sheepish but adorable smile. "Only if I get to call you Cupid."

Clint smirks. "Deal."

"Right, now that that's all cleared up!" Gwen says, linking her arm with Peter's. "Students don't tutor themselves! I'll see you all tomorrow. Get better, Loki."

"Thanks. Good luck. Bye, Pete. Flash."

"See yuh," Peter and Flash say in unison.

"Anything else there is to discuss?" Natasha asks, stretching out over Thor's lap as he plays little braids into her hair.

"Yes," Bruce says. "We're all going to need to do something about our costumes…"

"What for?" Loki asks.

He shrugs. "Tony and I were going to be Calvin and Hobbes, but with all these new relationships and complications I just thought we should…switch them up a bit. I mean, Tony and I were going to be Calvin and Hobbes, but Tony's only going to be at the party long enough to take pictures, so I'd feel awkward."

"I'll be your Hobbes!" Clint exclaims, draping himself over Bruce's lap. "Too bad he's not a wolf. I'm a much better dog."

"Hey, that's a good idea!" Tony says. "I'll take your Men in Black costume, and that way I'll look more appropriate taking pictures and shit.

"So Bruce will stay Calvin, I'll be Hobbes, and you'll join Natasha in the Men in Black world," Clint says.

"Oh, actually," Natasha says, "I decided to be something else…"

Clint frowns. "And you didn't tell me? Then _I_ would have been the odd one out!"

"No, you can be one by yourself and everybody would still know who you were. Besides, there's probably going to be tons of people dressed up like that. You could have all banded together."

"Oh!" Tony says brightly. "Pepper can set aside her Rosalina costume for next year and wear your Men in Black costume! She can…wait, Nat, what are you going to be now?"

She grins. "Catwoman. I'm staying over at Thor's tomorrow."

The room bursts into the usual "oooh you're gonna get some!" noises, except Thor, who just grins as he leans down to kiss her deeply.

"Is Thor still going to be a flying monkey?" Steve asks.

"Yes," he says, leaning back up. "She was at first looking for a witch costume to be my master, but she could not find the specific one she was looking for. I do not understand it well enough to have helped."

"How have you never seen the Wizard of Oz?" Tony asks. "Everybody's seen that. It was the first movie that Steve ever saw and it's been his favorite since."

Thor shrugs. "I simply have not."

"Gwen's going to use my vampire costume," Loki says, and Tony turns to see him clicking away at a text on his phone with his good hand. "I'll just be a hospital patient. Peter's going to be a red headed mouse spider, and Flash is going to be—"

"Let me guess," Clint says, giving a condescending look. "The Flash."

Loki rolls his eyes. "Correct."

"How original," Bruce mutters, playing with Clint's hair.

"Well, I'm going to keep my costume as well," Steve says, arms crossed somewhat darkly. "And I think that's it for costume talk."

Clint huffs a laugh. "Geez-wiz, Mr. Authority, standin' over there with your blues jeans and red and white striped t-shirt. What are you, Captain America?"

Tony and Bruce burst into simultaneous laughter as Steve blushes and ducks his head.

"Steve's birthday is July fourth," Tony says. "He forbade us from calling him that _years_ ago."

Clint grins. "Well _I'm_ bringing it _back_."

Bruce chuckles. "Poor Steve. Looks like we both get nicknames that are awkwardly fun and degrading at the same time."

Steve manages a smile. "Only if I get to command the assault tomorrow."

"Deal," the room shouts out.

"But shouldn't Thor?" Loki asks, and Tony swears he sees the look of panic in Loki's eyes that he actually said that out loud. They make eye contact, but they also say in silence that they'll talk about it later.

"I do not care who leads," the blonde beast says, "as long as they pay."

"It's settled, then!" Tony says brightly. "From here on out we will be known as the Avengers, and tomorrow night will be known as the Avengers Initiative! And we're made up of the members Captain America, the Thunderer, Black Widow, the Hulk, Hawkeye—also known as Cupid—and…" He trails off. "What was Pepper again?"

"I call her 'Queen' because she'd be the best one ever," Clint supplies. "And Peter is Spiderman because he's like a fucking acrobat on his skateboard, and Gwen is just Gwen because I don't really know anything about her."

"But what about _me_?"

"Ohh…" He purses his lips. "I'll think of something by the end of it. I just…can't think of anything right now."

"But for now," Loki says, "he shall be known as the Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist!"

Everybody turns to give Loki an odd look.

"I get the first two…" Steve says. "But not the third or fourth."

Loki gives the tiniest of smirks. "Playboy because he'd be a natural. Not the kind that gets all the girls, obviously, but he'd be good at hiring them and telling them what to wear and the like."

Natasha gives a sort of "not bad" nod of agreement.

"And philanthropist because Natasha and I _both_ caught him discussing which charity the Stark family will be donating to in the three different places a month that you do. You have a very fond likeness for orphanages lately, you know."

Tony blushes a bit. "What can I say? They've grown on me."

And thus continues the life of the spider, God of Thunder, well-hidden anger management man, Mr. Authority, gay-boy, Mellow, and _Tone_. Yeah, Clint's gonna need to come up with that _real_ soon.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: 1. SEE WHAT I DID WITH THIS CHAPTER AND ITS TITLE? DO YOU SEE IT?! Yes you better see it. Peasants.

2. Also, Peter being a red headed mouse spider? I looked up blue and red spiders, and it's a species of tarantula with a blue-ish body and a red head! So not completely Spiderman, but close enough :P


	14. The God of Light

**14: The God of Light**

_October 31  
Wednesday…_

School the next day is uneventful except for the fact that everybody is dressed up in their Halloween costume, some of them for the party tonight and some not so much. Tony and Thor didn't, though, because they're going to see Loki right after school and don't want to make him sad that he won't be able to dress up or celebrate this year.

Clint is the cutest Hobbes and Bruce pulls off the best Calvin, Natasha is a sexy as fuck Catwoman, Steve looks pristine as ever in his military suit, and Pepper came as Rosalina and _then_ got told about the costume switch (and the other details, all of which she's fine with). Flash is of course a perfect Flash, Peter is a wonderful blue-headed mouse spider (the legs on his sides are even mechanical, so he can lay his stomach onto his skateboard and make it look like he's crawling), and Tony has no idea how or when Gwen got all of Loki's vampire stuff but she pulls that off pretty sexily as well. Phil is actually not Batman when Tony sees him, but the Joker, because apparently Sigyn called him up last night so that they could go back to the store because she wanted to be Harley Quinn.

Fury is the same thing he is every year: a club's bouncer. It's not much, but it's the only day out of the entire year that anybody gets to see him in something other than his all black suit or the trench-coat getup he wears on particularly blustery days. And when Tony sees Miss Hill? Honestly, if he didn't like Loki so much he'd take a picture. It's frowned upon in school, but the vice-principle tends to ignore dress code rules when it comes to costumes. The four years of Tony's high school career she's been Lady Gaga, a "sexy" devil, a "sexy" dark fairy, and this year she's a "sexy" pirate—complete with a necklace that has one of the golden pieces on the end from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

Everybody dresses up for all the other holidays too, just more specific for this one. Halloween is the only one that you can be anything at all. Hill was the sexiest Christmas tree you can imagine last year, a clover on St. Patrick's Day, and a Playboy bunny on Easter. Tony probably blocked every other one from his memory so he didn't think about the sheer attractiveness of a woman he doesn't want—not to mention the fact that he happens to have a boyfriend this present moment. It's just…how can you _not_ look? He's so going to fuck Loki senseless as soon as he's healed enough… Dammit.

Everybody gives a hardy "tell Loki to get well soon" to Tony and Thor at the end of the day, who both do as soon as they make it to the hospital. Nobody else comes because all of them are busy. Pepper is at cake decorating, Steve is working out with Peggy and Bucky, Natasha is going back to the clinic for a bit of a checkup, Clint and Bruce went with her, and Peter and Gwen are not exactly hospital people and said that they'll visit later (Tony's pretty sure it's just so they don't have to be around him or Thor, though, which makes sense considering that Peter doesn't really like Tony and neither of them are huge fans of Thor. Not to mention that he and Thor are both assholes. Why would they want to hang out with two assholes anyway?)

So Tony and Thor went themselves. Baldur is also supposed to come today, which should be good. Tony's excited even though Loki's not.

"Lo'!" Tony exclaims as he bursts into the room, Thor walking in silently. "I brought you something! Also everybody says get well soon and that they're sorry they couldn't come."

Loki smiles warmly. "What is it?"

"Guess!"

"No."

"You are no fun at all," Tony says, rolling his eyes. He pulls one of the three chairs over to the bed and pulls out of his backpack a bag of assorted candy that is probably illegal in size.

Loki looked somewhat sad (for whatever reason, Tony doesn't know), but he squeals here anyway, telling Tony to open it and give him at least six vanilla Tootsie Rolls. Tony's a suck-up, so he gets seven.

"You want anything, point break?" he asks, gabbing out a mini Milky Way for himself.

"I would like a green Laffy Taffy, if that is alright."

"Yeah, bud, have two or three of anything you want." He hands the bag over.

He and Loki have an unofficial staring contest as they chew their first candy (well, Loki's first, but Tony's only), and as soon as Tony swallows he leans down to Loki's ear and whispers so Thor doesn't hear: "What's wrong?"

Loki sighs and replies at a regular volume: "Baldur will be here very soon."

Ah. Tony should have guessed. "He can't be _that_ bad," he says.

"I think he is wonderful," Thor says. "They just do not get along, and it would do you well not to question it."

Loki growls a little. "You're doing it again."

Thor sighs. "It is not my fault. Tony has brought it out."

"No, you just want to seem tough for when Baldur gets here!"

"That is not it at all, Loki. I was the same way when you were with Victor."

"Well _quite it_. I don't need your help taking care of myself."

Thor gives an almost fatherly look that causes Loki's eyes to narrow even further. "It seems to be that you need it quite a lot as of now, brother."

Loki huffs. "Never mind. Do it, but don't make it _obvious_."

"I will do my best."

They eat candy and talk about nothing in particular for about fifteen more minutes before the door bursts open to reveal a man that Tony _instantly_ places as Baldur. Platinum blonde hair, pale skin, and wearing lots of blue's and gold's. And the first brilliant thing that comes from any three of Tony's, Loki's, or Thor's lips should _probably_ have been something brotherly from Thor, but instead it's something absolutely thoughtless from Tony:

"Hot _damn_ you're eyes are blue," he says, and he regrets it instantly. "Almost as blue as Loki's are green!" No, that's not much better… "Um, hi. Baldur?"

He's not really sure what face Loki is giving him, but Thor and Baldur are giving him the sort of look that Tony is always giving Thor when he…talks. And then the tension is instantly expelled when Baldur gives a soft little laugh.

"You must be Anthony!" he says brightly. "I've not hear near enough of you as I would like." He crosses the room to stand on the other side of Loki's bed. "Simply that you saved my little half-brother from suicide!"

All of the oxygen in the air _whooshes_ out about then. Tony snaps his head over to Loki, eyes wide and heart stopped.

Loki is giving Baldur a look of absolute death.

Baldur blushes. "Oh, um, was that not brought up yet?"

Everybody ignores him. "If you tell Peter," Loki whispers to Tony, "I will skin you alive."

"PETER?!" Tony yells. "Who gives a fuck about Peter right now?! Why didn't you tell _me_?"

"You didn't tell me about _yours_…!"

"That's because I don't have any! I'm an asshole—asshole's don't do that! We like ourselves too much!"

"Well I wanted to okay?!" He looks at Thor, then Baldur. "Get _out_ for five minutes, you bastard. You too, Thor."

Baldur puts his hands up in defeat and shuffles out backwards very fast. Thor, though, gives Tony a special sort of look as he walks out that Tony's pretty sure means "be gentle or he'll kick you out too". And he understands that. No more yelling.

He sighs, sits on the edge of the bed, and takes Loki's good hand. "I'm sorry for yelling. I just…I didn't know."

"It's okay," Loki whispers, squeezing Tony's hand a little. "I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything else." He gives Tony a very sad smile. "You did save my life, though.

"_How_? I made it clear that I didn't even want you around!"

Now Loki smiles happily. "That's the thing. You didn't want me there, but you put up with me anyway. You waited for me after school that one day, you actually showed up to Brave, you screamed into your sweatshirt before coming to Red Robin with me, and you didn't drink around me. I know I forced that upon you and threatened to leave if you did, but I wouldn't have actually left. I'm sure you knew that. And look at you now! You've stopped altogether. That's wonderful. I know enough alcoholics in my life. So that's why you saved me. You cared enough to just go with it."

Tony breathes a laugh. "Yeah, I…guess you're right. But why were…I mean, _why_ did you want to? Can I ask that?"

Loki snorts. "You know what my life was like—what it's _still_ like. I'm adopted because my father was a mass murderer, my adopted father didn't love me at the time, my brother's a total ass, my half-brother I never talk about because I'm jealous of him, two people I went to school with threatened me with _this_"—he gestures to himself—"and finally went through with it by running into your dads car with _something_ and somehow being fine themselves, my best friends are a couple and I am therefore the best third wheel to have walked the planet, I—"

"Okay, okay, I get it," Tony says, holding his free hand up. "So your life stinks, I understand. But it's got some pretty great qualities, right? Above average grades, you're hot as fuck, you have super lenient parents even _if_ you haven't always gotten along with them, both ass cheeks that are your brothers would risk their lives for you without question, you've got _me_—I know, I know, but it's true—and I'm rich and we can literally do whatever we want, and—"

"You're naming off little things, love."

"Well they're working, aren't they?"

"But they're still just little things."

"If someone can kill themselves over little things, I think someone can keep themselves alive for little things. Not that your things are little! Because this is…" He looks over Loki's body. "Not exactly little. But other people."

Loki smirks. "Insightful of you, Anthony, but I'm not those other people. Whatever all my reasons are now, though, I no longer feel the urge to do such things."

Tony frowns. "It's a good thing I have no plans of leaving or I would feel like a total douche being the thing that made you okay and then breaking up with you. It's a good thing I love you." He scuffs up Loki's hair with his free hand. "Anything else you want to tell me?"

Loki sighs. "I'm sorry I never brought up Baldur with you. Or Amora and Skurge. Or the fact that I was going to kill myself before you. I'm still used to keeping things bottled up sometimes, you know? I couldn't tell anyone at home, I didn't really have any friends at my old school, and even though I met Peter and Gwen years ago I still haven't told them _every_thing because they're so dramatic. Gwen knows all about Victor, though. You remember him?"

Tony nods. He remembers him being mentioned. "You haven't told your family anything?" he asks, cocking an eyebrow. "They sure seem to know everything anyway…"

Loki lets out a little growl. "Baldur is the biggest blabbermouth you will ever meet, and it's one-hundred percent on accident. He has the ability to notice everything and not notice that everybody else is noticing him. He's the nicest, most oblivious person I know. He's so…so soft! But he's huge and looks like he'd be as loud as Thor, doesn't he? But he's not. He's gentle and sweet and he also has a fear of dirtyness, so I know it's really hard for him to be in the hospital right now. He'll do anything for me, but…" He sighs.

"Is that another reason you don't like him? Tony asks. "Because he notices it all and then just assumes everybody else does too?"

Loki nods. "He blabs things without meaning to because he just assumes that everybody else already knows about it. Secrets don't exist for him. Little things that he only tells his closest friends are not something he practices. That's all fine and dandy for him, but it's when he assumes that everybody else is the same way that makes him a total dick."

Tony gives a warm smirk and kisses his forehead. "Insults do not become you." He pulls away. "While we're in here alone, I…want to talk to you about your dad."

Loki's eyebrows furrow. "Laufey?"

"No, Odin."

"What about him?"

"I…talked to him, when you were still out."

Loki frowns. "What _about_?"

"His attitude in adopting you and curses."

Loki's frown turns to a confused look. "Explain."

"He wants me to let you know that you were never cursed. Your _real_ father was cursed, but not you. Also that yes, when he adopted you, it was only for the image, but now he really does love you and he wants to be a real father now." Tony swallows awkwardly. "That's the, um, quick version."

Loki licks his lips, averting his eyes. "I have long stopped believing I was cursed," he says, "but one thing will not change." He looks back at Tony. "Odin will _never_ be my father. I don't care how hard he tries to make me feel like it could really work, it will not happen. I do not want him. I never will. He wants to try _now_? Now that I'm a senior and will be moving out and have basically already done so? Ugh, he wishes." He looks at the door. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. If you see him again you can tell him to go fuck himself."

Tony sighs. He knew that would be Loki's answer. "Mmkay, I will." He stands. "I'll get your brothers." He goes over to the door, opening it up to see Thor and Baldur sitting in some chairs a little ways down the hall. He nods to them, in which they grin before jumping up and coming over. They push past Tony, their big bodies completely engulfing him before he's suddenly cold when they're gone. They crowd around Loki, Baldur greeting him for the first time since he wasn't able to with bringing up the suicide right away and Thor asking him about Tony's reaction to the whole thing.

"Nosy bastards," Tony mutters, kicking the door shut before going over and attempting to elbow them out of the way to get back to the chair by the bed. Of course no elbowing works, but they notice and step aside nonetheless. Big people are good at that. Getting out of the way, that is. They don't have to because nobody _can_ move them, but they tend to anyway. Tony's not sure why, but he's glad. "Stay out of it," he says, waving his hands at them.

Baldur shrugs, but Thor pouts out his bottom lip. "Why not?"

"It was a discussion between _boyfriends_. Are you getting any dick out of this relationship? I didn't think so."

Thor nods in understanding, but now Baldur is back to being politely nosy, beginning with a quiet laugh. How someone can be so big but so quiet is beyond Tony. He's too used to Thor. "And how far, little brother, have you gone?"

Loki glares at Baldur, then Tony, and then back at Baldur. "That is none of your business, you overgrown light bulb."

Baldur tsks. "Come now, Loki. Not even a hint? Not even whether or not you are the dominant character?"

Loki groans and Tony manages to hold back a snort. "_No_," Loki snaps, pinching the bridge of his nose with his good hand. "My sex life is none of your concern."

"Ah, come on! Thor tells me his!"

"That is because there is actually something in which you have in common there. You are both dating _women_."

"So?" Baldur says, shrugging. "It's the same general concept, really. One is on top and the other below. One is inside and the other needs to make space. It is not that hard to grasp, I don't think."

Loki just glowers some more, but Tony can't help but smile. At least he's not homophobic.

"I will tell you," Loki says, rolling his eyes, "under two conditions."

Thor grins and Baldur's smile lights up the entire room. "Yeah?" they say together.

"One, you go pick up some food from McDonald's, because I am craving McNuggets and fries and I don't _care_ how unhealthy it is. Get the ten-piece so Anthony and I can share, a large fry, a large coke, and two hot fudge sundaes without nuts. And two…" He frowns. "Thor, does Baldur know what happened yet?"

Before Thor can answer, Baldur lets out a tiny little growl that could almost pass as a whimper. "I will strike them into dust, brother," he says to Loki, reaching up to stroke a thumb down his cheek. "This will never again come to pass."

"Good, you know," Loki says. "Then you two better makes sure that Tony gets in plenty of pictures of our two enemies after you finish with them, because _last_ time I had you do something you didn't gather any evidence!"

They give guilty chuckles. "Understood," Thor says with a nod. "We will get you and Tony food as soon as you have told us."

Loki nods. "Good. As expected. Contrary to what I'm _sure_ your belief is"—(sarcasm)—"I do not actually top. That is Anthony's job.

Thor gives an "OHHH I KNEW IIIIIT" and Baldur chuckles as he pats Tony on the back.

"Congratulations, my new friend."

"Uh, thanks," Tony says, giving a somewhat awkward smile. Any other brother would threaten him with the whole "hurt him and I hurt _you_". Then again, Loki doesn't exactly _like_ Baldur. He probably told him he's not _allowed_ to be that type of brother, just like he told Thor. They've just got a different sort of family.

"In any case," Baldur says, giving Loki a warm smile. "I have already been informed as to how it is you have ended up like this." He rests a hand on Loki's arm before quick pulling it away. "Amora and Skuge will _pay_ for what they have done to you."

Loki rolls his eyes before giving the tiniest of smiles. "At least I know that they won't get away with it." He gives Tony a stern look. "I still don't want you to go."

"I won't even be fighting! I'm taking _pictures_!"

"You should let him, Loki," Baldur says. "Thor tells me that he is a scientist. He would pay attention to detail, as well as stand in the correct place for the best image."

Loki glares over at him. "And you wonder why I don't like you."

"And how many people _do_ you like?"

Loki averts his eyes. "I like lots of people."

"And how many is 'a lot'?"

Loki counts off on his fingers. "Eleven," he says a moment later. "Anthony, Peter, Gwen, Natasha, Clint, Steve, Bruce, Pepper, Phil, mom, and Flash is alright too. You've met only half of those people."

Thor looks down at the ground with a very hurt look.

Loki notices and sighs. "Alright, alright, twelve. Thor, you big softie."

Thor raises his head with a soft smile. "You mean it?"

"I have to, don't I? It's impossible for you not to grow on me at least a little bit after all of the stuff we've been through since Natasha's pregnancy."

Tony expected Thor to laugh, but instead it's just one more _whoosh_ of all the breathable air rushing out of the room.

"What?" Baldur asks quietly. "You got Natasha pregnant?"

Tony's gotten plenty of glares from Thor. _Plenty_. But never has he seen one so extensive—so terrifying—on his face as the one directed at Loki.

Loki face-palms. "And now I'm a hypocrite."

"You, me," Baldur says, pointing at himself and Thor. "Outside again."

Thor stomps out, Baldur going lightly behind him.

"Well then," Tony says, popping a lime Tootsie Roll into his mouth. "So much for twelve."

"I'm so _stupid_!" Loki yells, throwing his last (and unopened) vanilla one across the room. "I'm doing exactly what it is I can't stand Baldur for!" He pinches the bridge of his nose.

Tony scrambles for a way to cheer him up. "He would have found out eventually, right? Better now than ruining whatever fun he was having later."

Loki sighs. "I…suppose you're right."

"Exactly. Now, about yesterday…"

Loki frowns. "What do you mean?"

"Do you remember when we were talking about Steve leading the whole initiative and I was like 'shouldn't Thor' and then had a completely panicked look on your face that you silently said you were going to tell me about later? I forgot to ask yesterday."

"Oh…right. It's nothing you don't know about. It just…Thor really has become my twelfth, you know? Almost without me realizing it. I've been trying to deny it even to myself, but it's not working. Thor and I hate each other—honestly, we're brothers, what do you expect? Not to mention the fact that he's a total ass—but we also love each other. It's the curse that comes with having siblings. You've never had them; you don't know what it's like. In fact, the only ones in our little group that _has_ siblings is Gwen—and Gwen's not even completely considered a part of our group of eight so far. It's…just how it is. I don't want anybody to know that we get along because, before all of this stuff with Natasha happened, we _didn't_ get along. It's what I'm used to."

Tony smiles, going over to pick up his Tootsie Roll. "There's nothing wrong with change, Lo'. Just go with it." He unwraps it and pops it into his mouth. "Do I get to go to the 'party' or not?"

His boyfriend sighs. "Yes, you can go."

Tony kisses him hard in thanks, pulling out another vanilla one and unwrapping it to give to Loki. "You like vanilla."

Loki smiles not very unlike a child. "It's my favorite."

"I did good with those candles then."

Loki laughs. "Yes. Yes you did. It took _forever_ for you to finally get those roses cleaned up."

"No, it took DUM-E forever to clean it up. He's my first robot, after all. He's old."

The big brothers walk back in before Loki can reply.

"It is alright," Thor says. "A simple misunderstanding."

"I thought he meant she was _still_ pregnant," Baldur says. "I know he is not ready for a child and I was afraid for them."

Loki smiles brightly. "So I'm not in trouble?"

"No," Thor says a little darkly. "But I highly suggest you rethink your hated for our brother after being such a…" He licks his lips. "Blabbermouth."

Loki winces. "Understood."

Tony is about to say something, but Baldur catches his eye and motions for him to go out. Tony nods and winks at Loki as he does, going down to the chairs that Baldur and Thor were in before.

"Tony Stark," Tony says, holding his hand out to him.

"Baldur Asgard," the pale man replies, shaking Tony's hand. "My mother did remarry, but I kept this name, for I am proud of it. Is it alright if I ask you a few questions?"

Tony frowns slightly. "What do you mean?"

"I am interrogating you. Loki has always told Thor and I that we are not allowed to protect him, but that was before he was assaulted and when he was still a…virgin."

Tony gives a very bad poker face. "Oh, uh, yeah, sure, go ahead."

Baldur nods. "What sort of things do you like to do the most?"

Tony barely resists the urge to ask if Loki can be considered a "thing". "Other than any science related work, I don't really have a specific thing that I like to do. Clint's boyfriend, Bruce, was my friend first"—(Tony's just assuming that the half of Loki's people he doesn't hate list is Clint, Natasha, Peter, Gwen, and Frigga)—"and we've done all sorts of things in my room, including rebuilding our very own C3P-O. I also play video games with Natasha and Loki, go shooting with Clint and my best friend Steve, sometimes stay after school to decorate cakes with my surrogate mom Pepper, and…I play chess. I am really good at that. Loki is literally the only person who's ever beaten me, and it was only once because I wasn't really paying attention. Also I used to watch a lot of movies with a teacher of mine, but ever since Natasha and Clint moved in with me I haven't had much time with him."

"Yes, I heard about that," Baldur says, his smile lighting up the entire hallway. Geez, no wonder they call him the God of Light. "Also that you paid for Natasha's abortion. That is very kind of you, and my respect for you is at the highest it can be. I trust that you will not lower it."

Tony barely catches the threat in it. "Yeah, I'll…do my best. Anything else you want to know?"

"What are your grades like?"

Tony grimaces. "Right, so, my dad owns Stark Industries, and he's friends with nearly every college you can imagine and they all know that I'm a lot smarter than is should be. The only reason I'm still in high school is because I want to be. I could have gone to college when I was fifteen. But I've got friends, so I'm trekkin' through my classes like a good high schooler. But I…don't really try very hard with grades and the like because I don't have to. No matter what I get I'll get into whatever college I want to, so it's not really a priority to me to have a four-point-oh, you know? I'm lazy and I've always got so many people around that it's nearly impossible. Not to mention when they need help with their _own_ homework. I'm always helping Thor with math, Natasha with chemistry, Steve with his required computer class because he is _not_ really into the whole technology thing, and every once in a while Pepper has an obscure question for something."

Baldur nods. "I understand this and approve. The only reason I tried in high school was because I wanted to get into a good college. What classes do you have?"

"Um…there are seven periods. Or hours, I guess, but most of us just call them periods. First period I have calculus with Bruce, second is advanced art with Steve, third is advanced chemistry taught by the one teacher I like, fourth is my PE class with Thor and Natasha, fifth is French with Pepper and Clint, sixth I have literature through film with nobody you've heard of, and seventh is my AP government class that I have with Peter and Gwen."

"Good classes, then. Two advancements and one AP. That's rather good for someone who doesn't try."

Tony shrugs. "I don't do any of my homework, but I've never gotten anything below an A on tests, so it's not like that can't accept me."

He nods. "When do you turn eighteen?"

"Not until March. Loki is older than me."

"And how are you in the independence factor? For after graduating, I mean."

"Totally fine. Even without my dad supporting me I've got my own bank account that I have all sorts of amounts in. Not to mention I'll get to take over the company as soon as he retires. I'm set for life."

Baldur continues to ask questions both important to Tony's life and absolute random. Things like where he sees himself in ten years, but also things like what his favorite color is and if he wants any pets. And in the very end he gives another of his blinding smiles and says:

"You are perfect for him."

Tony gives an awkward grin. "Thanks?"

"You have some rough edges, but I have never come across someone who fits in with him better. I never liked Victor, but you are good for him. Thank you."

Tony gives a real grin. "Cool!"

He stands, giving a toothless but warm smile. "Come, I am finished. We may return to the hospital room. Do you know when it is that Loki is to be released?"

"Uh, tomorrow sometime," Tony says, getting up and going after him.

"Excellent."

"Hey, wait." He swings in front of Baldur and blocks the closed door. "Can I ask you a question too?"

"You may."

"Did something specific happen for Loki not to like you? Because…I don't know, I feel like there's something none of you are telling me about it. You don't hate somebody just because you're a bit jealous of them, do you? Some people do, but Loki's not like that. I was just…wondering."

Baldur gives a sad, sad little smile. "When Loki and I first met, I did not like him, for I was under the impression that he carried with him the same insanities as his father did. I was afraid of him, and therefore I did not treat him as I should have. He does not like me because I did not like him, and it is very hard for him to forgive me. It has been years since I turned from my ways because I got to know him and realized that it was impossible for someone such as him to do such things. He hates his biological father so much that I am unaware as to how I thought he would become like him in the first place. But Loki holds grudges, Tony, and it would serve you well to know that."

Tony nods. "I understand." He opens the door, motioning for Baldur to lead the way. "Hey, what's your costume going to be, by the way?"

"I am to be Jörgen von Strangle, though my hair is too long."

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "You mean from the Fairly Oddparents?"

"That is correct."

Loki giggles. "It was my idea."

Tony's not sure if he should laugh or kiss him, so he just does both.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: we meet Baldur here, woo. He'll show up a few more times for smaller holidays throughout the year, but he's really not that big of a character. Just right now because we're first meeting him and all that. And probably also for when he helps beat up Amora and Skurge.


	15. I Don't See How That's a Party

**15: I Don't See How that's a Party**

_October 31  
Wednesday…_

The party starts at five and goes till ten because it's a school night. Most kids like Flash wouldn't care, and he probably doesn't, so Tony's pinning the timeframe on whoever his parents are. Baldur goes home with Thor and Tony goes to his own place at about four-fifteen to find Natasha and Clint getting ready as well. Tony's mom comes in a few seconds after he does, holding a plate of the most amazing looking Halloween cookies that Tony has ever seen.

"Happy Halloween!" she says with a warm smile, setting the plate on the perfectly made bed. Natasha is actually one of the tidiest people that Tony knows, and he's known a lot lately.

"Thanks, Mrs. Stark!" Clint says as he's zipping up his suit. "Wanna help me do my make-up and then put these fake claws on?"

"I'd _love_ to," she says, following him into the adjoining bathroom.

Tony is sure that his mom likes Clint the best because…well, not because he's gay, but because he's a _classic_ gay. Maybe not how he talks, and not completely how he looks, but just his personality. He's just so…feminine. He helps you pick out clothes with his fashion sense, loves shopping, and his favorite movie is Mean Girls. He's the type of gay that should be wearing sweater vests and pressed slacks, but instead he went the opposite direction and just wears a lot of leather. Sometimes, when he's not sleeping during any extra time he has (since he's got to put up with school, working nightshift, and all his friends), he gossips with Tony's mom (who everybody just calls by her first name) about all sorts of stuff while doing the dishes, helping her cook dinner, or even one time when they went and got their nails done. Even Loki gave him some shit for getting purple coating with black sparkles.

Clint's the only one she _can_ do those things with, really. Thor's so straight he can't even turn down the hallways right, Steve could cook dinner and do the dishes with her but he certainly couldn't talk about the most recent celebrity pregnancy, Bruce is just _not_ that type of person even if he was gayer, Pepper's too like her to actually get along with her very well (also she doesn't _care_ about celebrities; she'd much rather discuss politics. Sometimes she scares Tony because he can tell that she and Howard would get along really well if he'd give her a shot), and Tony's her son and therefore doesn't count. Plus he's decided he's bisexual and definitely more towards the straight side—he just happens to be dating a guy as of now (Bucky and Peggy called him "heteroflexible" when they first met). And Natasha? It doesn't _matter_ that she's a girl, she will _not_ discuss with anybody anything about the latest Vogue fashion statement, the "in" color for shoes, or the trendiest hairstyle. She will sooner join the wrestling team or predict the weather than give a shit about the stereotypical girl stuff. She just likes her leather, Snuggles, blanky, and stiletto heels.

"You know," Tony says to Natasha, helping her zip her back up (you know something is too tight when flexible-as-fuck Natasha can't even pull it up on her own), "in the real world, if you got pregnant and dressed like this, you'd be considered a _slut_."

Natasha smirks at him. It's funny, really. The two girls that Tony regularly hangs out with (being Natasha and Pepper; he's not counting Gwen quite yet) put up with him completely differently, yet they really don't care what he says to them. Pepper just shakes her head and ignores him, and Natasha tends to play along. "And somehow I'm not?"

"No, because you're with Thor."

"And if I wasn't? If it was some random guy?"

"Honestly, I still don't think I'd call you one. You don't have the right personality for it. I would totally recruit you as my first Bunny though."

She smirks again, patting him on the cheek. "I might actually be up for that in a few years."

Tony breathes a laugh. "And the best part is that I don't like you anymore! I mean, you're hot, yeah, but since Loki you've become my little sister."

"Good, because I've been telling anybody who asks that you're my step-brother."

He chuckles. "Brilliant. Come upstairs and keep me company while _I_ get dressed now, yeah? You can do you make-up in front of my full-length mirror."

"Yeah, alright."

Everybody is there at Tony's and ready to go at four-fifty. They take two cars, Tony and Pepper in his Audi and Steve driving everyone else in the Escalade. They would usually be able to all fit, but since Peter and Gwen came along there's not enough seats for all ten of them.

"Are you going to stay for the whole party?" Tony asks Pepper.

"No, Happy wasn't invited, so we're going to go do our own thing," she says. "Maybe watch Frankenweenie or go to his place to watch 1408."

"I totally called the ending to that."

"Yes, I know, you mention it every time the movie is brought up. What about you? You gonna stay?"

"No, I'm going straight to Loki afterwards. He's not supposed to go to the bathroom without somebody to take him and the nurse's don't come around often enough."

"Why _do_ you like him, Tone? He really doesn't seem your type, but you work so well."

Tony sighs. "I think it's because he forced himself upon me. That sounds terrible, but it's true. Nobody's ever been able to squeeze themselves between me and my crush on Natasha, you know? But he managed it and I didn't even know it until the day of Natasha's abortion—and even then I didn't really admit it to myself. You've never heard the full story yet, have you? About our first kiss?"

"You told all of us at the cafeteria table, actually."

"Yeah, well, not the details. I followed him to the front door because he had to leave and…something really weird came over me, and I thanked him. You now I only thank you no matter _what_, too. The thanks meant a lot of things, really… I'm not even fully sure. But it was just enough that Loki dropped his things and threw his arms around me. And that was it. Then he had to leave before he came back and _boom_. Sex and male/male virginity loss."

She laughs. "You _would_ get to sex before blowjobs."

"C'mon, you loved my dick."

She purses her lips.

"Just admit it, Pep. I'm beautiful."

"Alright, alright, so you are. Not the point."

"Knew it. How far have you and Happy gone, by the way?"

"We're actually taking our relationship pretty slow. We've never gotten undressed passed our underwear, nor have we reached inside of said undergarments."

"Ooh, ooh, what did he say about the crescent moon shaped mole by your left nipple?"

She groans. "He named it Montgomery."

Tony bursts into laughter. "I should hang out with this guy some time."

Tony didn't know where Flash's place was until he looked it up. He was afraid about finding a place to park and ending up three blocks down from the actual house or something, but he actually owns a pretty big chunk of land. The house is generally small, but the party is going to be in this _huge_ shed instead. Tony would call it a barn but it's not shaped right. Not classic looking enough. So there are tons of cars parking all over the place around the yard, and Tony recognizes most of them as vehicles he's seen in the school parking lot.

Upon getting out, though, the first thing that Tony sees is a line of fifteen to twenty people across the way…and standing a ways across from them is all of Tony's friends from the Escalade, who must have gotten there first. Tony locks the car and he and Pepper run over there, Tony squeezing in beside Natasha.

"What the fuck is going on?" he whispers.

He doesn't get an answer, though. Someone across from him speaks first: "Ah, there's some more. Is that really all you can do, Asgard?"

Tony recognizes her voice instantly, and it's all Natasha and Clint can do to hold him back from springing at the woman that is Amora.

She laughs. "And _you_ must be the boyfriend. Tony Stark, right?"

"Amora," he spits in greeting.

She cracks her knuckles. "Well, if this is all that's coming…"

"It's not," Natasha says, arms crossed tightly. "Backup's already on its way."

"Oh, these two weren't them? Thank goodness, I was afraid this wouldn't be a fair fight!"

"They were ready for us," Clint whispers to Tony. "They brought others. Now they have seventeen of them, and there are only ten of us. Peter ran inside just before you got here to get Flash, and Natasha and Pepper had a backup group ready that consists of seven. So it will be an even if you don't join us, but we could really use you. We know you promise Loki, but…."

Tony purses his lips. "I'll do it. Loki'll be okay with it. They're not just going to ignore me while I take pictures anyway. Someone's bound to get me. I'll tag-team with someone."

At that precise moment, a little hotrod car zooms in, parking beside all of the other cars. Out comes Bucky (dressed in the classic black and white striped jailbird outfit), Peggy (in a hot little red number and red heels that she is somehow walking perfectly across the grass in), and some other girl that Tony doesn't recognize (she looks almost identical to Peggy, even the blonde hair, except that she's dressed as a "sexy" American flag).

"Ooh, three more," Amora says, tilting her head slightly. "Can we start now?"

"Just a few more," Pepper says, looking at her nails. Pepper doesn't take nobody's shit.

A few minutes of intense glaring and whispering on both sides later and Peter coming back with Flash, the biggest truck Tony has ever seen comes in, nearly plowing over cars as it gets a parking spot. Honestly it could probably park _over_ the other cars. And out comes five people (four guys and a girl), one of them being Baldur and the other three being familiar but not enough so to remember names. He does know their costumes, though: Robin Hood, Little John, Jackie Chan, and Xena.

"_Now_ we're ready," Steve says, cracking his neck.

"Thank goodness; we've been wanting to choose our fights all night. Mind if my side does the picking? What have we to fear, anyway?"

"By all means," Baldur says as sarcastically polite as he can. "But don't think we won't change them up for something fair."

"You have an extra though," she says with a bit of a pout.

"It's not our fault you don't have as many friends," Bruce says darkly. Yeah, he's definitely going to lose it tonight.

Amora is a total bitch. Tony can't deny it. Nobody can.

In the end of the choosing "who fights who", everybody's switched around as to how they're standing so they'll be across from their opponent and Tony's actually learned everybody's name. He has honestly never been to a more organized fight in his entire life. Granted, he hasn't been to many aside from the old ones with Thor, Clint, and Natasha, but that's not the point.

The male on male groups are Tony and Peter versus the smallest enemy (named Saint-John or something, but he seems to be carrying a blowtorch, which is partly why Tony's helping Peter with him—but also because he and Peter are the smallest so they automatically get to help each other. It'll be some good bonding time, at the least), Thor and Skurge, (who is just as huge and scary looking as his voice made him sound, not to mention the fake ax he's got with his lumberjack outfit), Baldur and a guy even bigger than Skurge named Enrakt, Bruce and a guy between their sizes named Magnir, Bucky and a guy about the same size as Skurge named Brona, Flash with a guy just _barely_ smaller named Forsung, Volstagg (Tony remembers him and his 3 friends, now; the girl was Pepper's mutual bisexual experiment) with another large fellow (probably about the same size as Magnir) named Thanos (who honestly looks like a mixture between an ape and one giant bruise; his skin's got a purple/brown tinge to it that Tony honestly cannot understand), Fandral against a smaller fellow named Narvi, and Steve with some _weird_ and pretty creepy looking guy named Chitauri (who keeps giving the Thanos fellow sideways glances).

The female on female groups are Pepper against Lorelei (Amora's younger sister, apparently, and dressed up in a similar witch costume except that the color scheme is blue instead of green), Natasha against Raven (she's dressed up as Raven from Teen Titans, but even aside from that she looks pretty dark and terrifying all in herself—also really flexible looking, which is good considering that Natasha could out-flex anybody), Gwen versus Wanda (who the fuck names their kid that? She's got red hair like Natasha's and is wearing nothing but pink; Tony honestly can't tell what it's supposed to be a costume of and he's not going to ask), Peggy versus Amora (Tony's surprised that Clint didn't want her since he's closer to Loki, but he didn't question the choices; Peggy _is_ one badass fighter, and he's just assuming Amora's pretty bitchin' too. Amora is dressed up as a witch, appropriately), Sif gets Glut (she is one _large_ woman with a very ugly name, and Tony definitely did not refrain from snorting when she was introduced), and Sharon (Tony's sure it's not the one he used to always talk over the phone with, but he's not _sure_ because she hasn't actually spoken yet—now all he _knows_ is that he really wants some pizza) versus some chick dressed up as embers named Eisa.

Then there are the two gender mix-up groups, which consist of Clint and another uglier chick named Angrboda, and also Hogun versus Einmyria (who is _obviously_ Eisa's sister, and not just because her costume is ashes).

And then they just sort of…stand there…waiting for one side to throw the first punch. Tony actually starts to get a little bored (because _he's_ certainly not going to start it), but finally Peggy throws her arms up and groans:

"This is _stupid_! Somebody fucking _hit_ me!"

And that's pretty much how that goes. The John character _is_ carrying a blow torch, so Tony and Peter have a _difficult_ time with that one. How the fuck did he get one of those? Even Tony doesn't know where to get one of those! When they finally get him down they blast his ass with the torch before punching him out and then putting the fire out. They're here to beat people up, not kill anyone. Peter destroys the blowtorch as Tony looks around to see who need's the most help.

As far as he can tell from here, most everyone on his side is doing pretty good. Bruce is doing _great_, Mystique really is as flexible as she looks but Natasha is matching her perfectly, Peggy is beating the _shit_ out of Amora even though she's in that red dress (who knows where her heels went, but Tony will have to ask her precisely what she is when this is all over), Sharon is covered in glowing orange paint splatters from whatever Eisa is covered in, Clint is the gayest fighter in the world and pulls it off great, Hogun is matched well with Einmyria (and not because he fights like a girl, but because that girl is totally fighting like a guy), etcetera. To be honest it just looks like Steve needs a little help from the Chitauri guy. Wait…is that a bite mark on Steve's neck? Good lord, yeah, he'll help Steve.

He gets about halfway to the blonde before he's run over by two people at once, earning a punch in the shoulder and a kick in the stomach. He's not even sure if it's from his side or not since it all happened so fast, there were four different guys around, and because they're not really paying attention to him.

He coughs a bit, the wind knocked out of him slightly, and misses the fact that somebody is behind him until he gets thrown forward and then sat on top of.

"And what if I slit your pretty little throat?" an ugly Australian accent says.

"You're seriously already up again?" Tony asks as he gets his face to turn sideways, looking up as much as he can at Saint-John. "Fuckin' pyromaniac."

"And _you_ ruined my weapon."

"Actually, that was the other fellow fighting against you."

Before he can answer, Tony uses the only fighting skills he has to flip him over and pull his arm back just enough that he screams.

"You messed with the _wrong_ group of friends, motherfucker," he growls. And then he pulls back just enough until he hears a _crack_, his face like stone as he breaks an arm like its nothing.

Steve is doing fine by then, but it looks like the tables have turned against Peggy and Amora, so he rushes over there with_out_ getting run over by anybody on the way. It doesn't _matter_ that Amora is a girl, he ducks down and swings his leg up, smashing the bottom of his shoes right into the middle of her face.

"What have you to _fear_?" Tony spits in her face, repeating her earlier question. "Eighteen motherfuckers to fight against you and your side and you ask _that_? His two brothers, best friends, boyfriend, _shooting range_ buddies, and nine other people I don't have titles for and you ask what have you to _fear_? Bitch, every last one of us has a connection to Loki, as small is it may be. You think we're just going to let you take us down?"

Amora gives a crooked smile around her broken nose. "That was the plan," she croaks.

"Not a great plan. There's no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe you got Loki earlier and _maybe_ you get some of us now, but it's all on you. Because if we couldn't protect him before, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge him."

A hand rests on his shoulder and he nearly uses another of his boxing moves, but Peggy blocks him just in time. "I'll take it from here," she says with a grin. "You get those pictures taken. I heard you promised Loki you wouldn't fight. We're winning; we'll be fine."

Tony gives her a tired smile before nodding and running away from the fight so he's not close enough that he'll be able to be leapt upon. He pulls his digital camera out of his pocket and takes what shots that he can. Not very good ones, of course, since it's all just a huddle of bodies and blood and mud.

And right about then it all goes to hell. Not that it wasn't already, but now it's just worse. Tony has never seen so many police cars, and he lives in _New fucking York_. They're there and completely surrounding the huddle in less than a second, Tony the only one not in it because he ran so far back. He debates running, but he'd rather be in the thick of it than being arrested later. He's not a coward.

The cops are out with their guns and yelling for everybody to stand down, and then out comes Officer Phillips and Dum-Dum, Phillips with a megaphone in hand.

"Everybody _stand down_. Not my men; you stupid kids! Stand up straight—if you can—and put your hands above your head where we can see them."

The fight stops relatively slowly for all having guns trained on them, but everybody eventually has their hands up and those who can stand without hurting themselves are.

"Now, I want five of you to come forward and stand in front of my car here—not you, asshole. Five _specific_ people. Amora en Tress, Skurge ex Cution, the two Asgard brothers, and Tony Stark."

Those four come up, but Tony doesn't move.

"Don't make this hard on yourself, Stark."

Tony forces himself to move, ignoring the two men who train their guns on him. "Back here," he says, locking and pocketing his phone. "I'm back here."

"Well get in here before you get shot."

Tony squeezes between two cop cars (they got _close_ to each other; he's not sure how they're going to get out, now, but they've probably got it down to an art form) and stands between Thor and Baldur, with Skurge beside Thor and Amora beside him. Even compared to the woman, Tony feels very small indeed).

Phillips lowers the megaphone and leans against the door of his car.

"How'd you know about this?" Tony asks.

"Flash Thompson's parents called," he says. "Nobody else knows about it happening, though, since there are no windows. It's damn loud in there. They happened to walk out from it to get something from the house and here we are. So tell me, Stark, what the hell is _this_?" He gestures to what sits inside of the car circle, guns still trained and arms still up, though they've dropped to more resting on the tops of their heads.

"It's a fight," Tony says simply.

"What sort of a fight?"

"An organized fight."

"Stark, I swear on the grave of your ancestors."

Tony sighs. "So, after I gave you the recording, I found out that Loki actually lied to you about knowing who the voices where. They belonged to Amora and Skurge. And, um, they've been threatening Loki that they were going to attack him for forever now, so Thor and Loki have had this thing organized for a while that if they ever do it—which they did—they would find them and beat them up and not tell anybody about it. We told people, though, so we could have a nine-on-two fight here at the party because they happened to be invited, but apparently Amora and Skurge knew that we would be coming, so they got a whole bunch of backup so then _we_ called in some backup so it would be an eighteen-on-seventeen fight instead. I broke this guys arm after Peter Parker and I destroyed the blow torch he had—"

"Someone had a _blow torch_?" Phillips asks.

Dum-Dum is writing things down at the speed of light again.

"Yeah, I don't know where it's from."

"Do you know his name?"

"Uh…Saint-John something."

Phillips holds his megaphone up again. "Saint-John with the broken arm and broken blow torch, get your ass up here."

There's a painful moan as he makes his way up to them.

"How old are you, son?"

He gives everybody around him a shifty glance. "Sixteen."

Phillips looks over at the nearest cop. He's got dark skin and even darker eyes, eyes trained on the bigger group and hands steady.

"Rhodey," Phillips calls.

Rhodey looks over at him without moving his gun. "Sir?"

"Put this one in your car and taze him if he tries to do anything."

"Of course, sir," Rhodey says, swinging over the hood of the cars he's at and opening the back door. He starts saying the whole "you have the right to remain silent" speech as he puts Saint-John carefully in the car, for some reason trying not to jostle his arm. Most cops Tony knows don't care about hurting someone, usually because they're an asshole.

Phillips turns back to Stark. "And after Parker destroyed the blowtorch?"

"I went to go help Steve with the guy he was with, but I got ran over instead, so by that time I went to help Peggy Carter with Amora. I kicked her in the face and then told her that she fucked with the wrong group of friends."

"He broke my nose," Amora grounds out.

"Good," Phillips says without looking at her. "What were you doing out of the circle?" he asks Tony again.

"I ran out to take pictures. Loki wanted them so he could see them suffer just like he had to."

"He deserved it," Skurge says darkly.

"If either of you speak one more time I will taze you," Phillips says, giving them both dark looks. "Get the fuck in my car." He steps forward and opens his door, and Tony is surprised that they get calmly in. Phillips gives individual looks to Baldur, Thor, and then back to Tony. "We don't have enough cars to fit all of you. Can I trust you?"

"You can trust our entire side, sir," Tony says.

"If you are asking if we will drive ourselves to the police station," Baldur says, "then yes, you can trust us all. We are not stupid."

"You're also all getting police escorts and tailers," Phillips says, giving the taller man a look. "Let me lay it down to everybody." He lifts up the megaphone. "Attention all of you. My name is Chester Phillips and I will be taking none of your shit today. To me you are nothing but kids that ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time." He winks at Tony. "Those of you who can, I would like to split up the sides that you are on. Those of you fighting on Stark's side move to _my_ right, and anybody else to my left. If you can't move then don't. I don't want any unnecessary trips to the hospital."

Everybody moves over but for two people from Amora's team, and Bruce and Natasha are helping move a limping Clint.

"Now, I want my men to get everybody on my left into the backs of their cars so that they can take them down to the station. Those of you on my right, there isn't enough room for you. _No_ that does not mean you get to go home. That means you get to drive your own cars with some of these cars in front of you and some of them behind you to chase you if you decide to try and get away. Everybody get that?"

Nobody says anything.

"It's dark, assholes. I can't see if you're nodding or not. Say yes or I'll blow my teenager whistle through the megaphone."

A very loud "yes" echoes around.

"Much better. Right side, same for you, you have five minutes to have your cars over here and _off_ so you can't drive off before we've got ours _on_. Don't do it; I'll be able to squeeze every last one of your names out of at least one of you before you get to the border."

As Team Amora is shoved into police cars, Team Loki all makes it dejectedly back to their cars. Tony and Pepper in the Audi, Steve in the Escalade with Natasha, Thor, Bruce, Clint, Peter, and Gwen; Bucky, Peggy, and Sharon into the little hotrod; Baldur, Fandral, Volstagg, Fandral, and Sif into the giant truck that could probably withstand any gunshot ever and crush all of the cop cars at once.

They all get driving again pretty soon, half the cars ahead and half behind them. None on the side, but one could easily branch off and follow them. Besides, none of them are going to. Team Loki's pretty smart, as far as Tony knows. Stupid for getting caught, but smart.

At the station, Tony knows that they'd usually be separated by gender. Phillips isn't stupid, though, so he just separates them by the teams. Nobody's going to fuck anyone anyway. Not in public, because _privacy_ issues, and not in here, because how unsanitary would that be? The point is they're all going to be in there overnight.

"You're all going to be in here for twenty-four hours. You'll each get your one phone call, but I'm letting the other guys do it first. They'll be in here for at least forty-eight hours, except our pyromaniac and the two who started this whole thing in the first place. Any questions?"

Bucky raises his hand.

"Barnes?"

"I have to pee."

"There's a toilet behind you."

Bucky gives it a disgusted look. "Honestly?"

"You're the one dressed like a jailbird; you might as well act like one."

Bucky rolls his eyes before turning towards it, everybody clearing out a good sized space around him and the toilet.

"Don't get too down," he says, looking at Steve directly before turning back to Tony. "You're the good guys. You're just in here 'cause you got caught. It's not that bad. Could be fun, actually. If I get some board games in here you could even make a party out of it."

Natasha is leaning darkly against Thor, arms crossed and lips cut and bruised. "I don't see how that's a party."

**XxX**

_October 31  
Wednesday…_

The fight got broken up at only five-thirty. They weren't even at it for an hour. Twenty-one people get to call before him, though, and they must take forever, because it's not until eight-forty-five that he gets to make his _own_ call. The seventeen from the other team, Steve called his mom, Peter called his aunt, Clint called Tony's mom, Baldur called Frigga and Odin (probably), and then Tony at number twenty-two of thirty-five.

"Tony, lord, what is taking you so long?" Loki asks as soon as he picks up his cell phone. "You said you were going to come back as soon as the fight was over! It could not have possible taken you three hours and forty-five minutes to finish them off..."

Tony lets out a sigh.

"Tone? Anthony, what's wrong? What happened? Who's hurt?"

He breathes a laugh. "Uh, a lot of us. They brought backup, Lo'. They were ready for us."

Loki is silent before breathing a very un-Loki like, "_Shit_. They didn't. How many?"

"Uh, their whole side had seventeen."

"Dammit. Just the nine and your pictures?"

Tony winces. "No, uh, we called in backup too. It was a very organized fight."

"Oh, right, I forgot that Amora is diagnosed with psychotic OCD. Everything about her is organized and thoughtful. That's how she was able to crash into me and not get her or Skurge hurt in the process. How many did our side have?"

"We got, uh, nine more."

"Oh, good, more than them, then. Who was called in?"

"Bucky, Peggy, someone named Sharon, Volstagg, Fandral, Hogun, Sif, Flash, and…and me."

Loki is silent for a little too long. "You joined them?" he asks at length.

"I know I promised, but I had to, Lo'! I couldn't just stand there with the fight that bad! Peter needed by help with some pyromaniac anyway. This guy brought a fuckin' _blowtorch_, alright? And I kicked Amora in the face for you! I'm completely fine except that my shirt and pants are kinda burnt and I got the wind knocked out of me once because I stepped in the wrong direction. Right after I kicked Amora I ran out to the sidelines and took pictures. I would have sent them to you but they took everything out of our pockets and I couldn't. I will later, alright? But you have to understand, Loki, they needed me, and I couldn't just…just leave them there. I'm fine, I swear."

Loki takes a deep breath. "I understand," he whispers.

"Loki, please."

"No, Anthony, I do. I just…I'm thinking too hard. What if you _were_ hurt?"

"I wasn't, though. I broke the pyro's arm and Amora's nose. All in all in did pretty good, okay? I'm fine. I don't even have a bruise on my shoulder where I got punched."

"You didn't mention that second ago!"

"I forgot about it until just now!"

Phillips taps the wall beside him. "Time's up, Stark," he says.

He gives him a pleading look, to which Phillips sighs and nods before walking off again.

Loki sighs. "Right. You're okay. So…wait, who's they? Who took all your things?"

"Oh, uh…" He sighs. "Flash's parents called the cops on us, so we're sort of all in jail for the next twenty-four hours…"

Loki groans. "And you used your one phone call on _me_ instead of your mother? Anthony, _honestly_."

"I had to tell you, Lo', you know that. 'Sides, Clint already called and Natasha will be later, so there's no need for me to. And…I'm sorry, you know. For breaking my promise. Also for taking really shitty pictures."

"I don't care about the pictures, love. I'll be fine without good pictures. That you got them at all is a feat in itself."

"Yeah, after yelling at Amora a bit I ran out of the main fighting circle and shot some. That's when the cops showed up and circled them within _seconds_. I was far enough out that they missed me, but I told them everything. Uh, Phillips told me that he wasn't going to come talk to you about it at all, by the way, since he knows you lied to him about knowing who the voices were…"

Tony can almost hear Loki's frown. "You told him?"

"I know him pretty well. I told him everything."

Loki sighs. "Well, as long as he's not coming to talk to me. I just…I need to sleep. I was waiting up for you."

"I knew you would be," he says quietly. "If it makes you feel any better, we were totally winning. The only one who got a serious injury was Clint's sprained ankle that's all patched up now."

"Aw, poor little bird. Bruce must be having a heart attack."

Tony laughs. "Yeah, he refused to leave his side so they took him into the nurse's office too."

Phillips walks by again and catches his eye, Tony nodding this time.

"That's cute. I wish I could be there for you, Tone. If I wasn't here until tomorrow I would come."

"I wish too, Lo', but its fine. It's pretty boring here, anyway. Kinda cold, too. Phillips brought in some board games, but most of us are sleeping and those of us who _are_ awake don't want to play chess with me."

Loki chuckles. "I don't blame them."

"You can't see it right now, but I'm giving you a really warm smile. But, hey, I…gotta go now, okay? There are still thirteen more people who need to make their calls home."

"Lord, seventeen versus eighteen means there are thirty five of you… You're the twenty-second person to go?"

"We got separated into sides instead of gender and they let Amora's team go first. I was fifth on our side."

"Alright, well…call me as soon as you can. And then come see me, alright? Wait, no, go see your mother first, she'll probably have a heart attack if she doesn't get to give you, Natasha, and Clint a hug."

Tony smiles. Wait. "I'm smiling again. I love you, alright? I'm really sorry."

"It's alright, Tone. You did what you had to do and I'm proud of you for that. I love you too."

Tony hangs up and follows the cop in front of him back to his cell.

"Hey, you're that Rhodey guy," Tony says, realizing who it is.

He glances back. "Yes, and you're that Stark kid."

"Don't call me kid, you look the same age as me."

"I'm twenty-four."

"Eh, seven years ain't that much of a different. I'm Tony Stark, by the way."

"James Rhodes," he says, shaking Tony's hand as he opens the cell door for Tony to go in.

"Nice to meet you, Rhodey."

"Likewise. Who's next?" he calls.

Natasha switches from leaning on Thor to Bruce as the blonde leaps up and exits the cell, waiting for Rhodey to lock it back up before following him a ways down to the phone. Nobody stands there and _waits_ for you, they're just very strategic about when they check up on you and bring you back.

"You all doin' alright?" Tony asks, going to Bruce's other side to lean against him as well. Clint is between his legs and fast asleep since he already called in. Some people must not care about calling and are asleep as well. They're all rather quiet for an almost victory, but Tony understands why. For most of them it's their first night in jail. Tony used to be in this place all the time, so he's used to it. He wasn't old enough, but after a while Phillips started putting him in anyway so he'd figure out how terrible it is if he kept doing it by the time he was an adult.

"Yeah, good enough," Natasha says, turning her head slightly to see him better. "Tired and sore, but good."

"You were pretty evenly matched with that Raven chick," Steve says from where he's got his head in Peggy's lap. Sharon is asleep with her head in Bucky's lap, who's asleep and leaning against a wall, Gwen is sleeping against an awake Peter, Pepper is using Baldur's lap as a platonic pillow, Flash is awake next to him, Sif and Hogun are asleep with their backs resting against each other, and Fandral is leaning against the cell doors with Volstagg perpendicular to him against the wall there. The thing about this cell is that it's _designed_ for short term. There are no beds and no chairs. Just a toilet.

"She kept saying things like 'Mystique uses whatever' any time she hit me right, like she was having a Pokémon duel or something. It fueled me to hit her harder because it was pissing me off."

"And what the fuck was up with that Chitauri guy?" Flash asks with a grin. "He looked crazed or something."

"He reminded me of the one crazy grasshopper from Bugs Life," Peter says around a yawn.

Steve laughs. "Yeah, he…uh, he bit me. On my neck." He rubs where the mark is. "Three times."

"You know what I think is funny?" Fandral asks.

"No, what?" Volstagg asks, obviously just humoring him.

"That we're all still in our costumes."

Everybody looks around the room silently, giggles a little bit, and then bursts into loud, unhindered, obnoxious, tired laughter.

"At least Bucky looks like he belongs here," Steve says, grinning over at his sleeping friend.

"Hey, speaking of which, what's Peggy supposed to be?" Tony asks.

"She's the Woman in Red. From the Matrix movie, you know?"

Everybody gives sounds of understanding.

"What happened to her heels?" Pepper asks.

"No idea," Steve says. "She kicked them off to kick butt and then couldn't find them in the dark."

"Too bad," Bruce says, stroking his fingers through Clint's hair (who, even in sleep, cuddles up to him more). "They were nice."

"I still haven't heard Sharon talk yet," Tony says.

"It's nothing like Peggy's voice," Steve says. "They are cousins, though. Don't ask me how they look so alike. She and Bucky have been dating for a while."

"Cute," Fandral says around a yawn. "Scoot over, 'Stagg."

Volstagg doesn't move, but that's okay, because Fandral crawls over him before flopping against his side and falling asleep as well.

"Well…at least nobody snores," Peter says with a tired laugh.

"Just wait until Thor gets back," Natasha says, rubbing at her eyes. "He'll shake the cell."

"As will I," Baldur says, stretching his arms out.

"You guys get to fall asleep last, then."

When Thor gets back, Flash goes so he can apologize to his parents and the like. Tony is drifting, but he doesn't want to fall asleep sitting up, so he slides down so that his face is pretty much buried against the side of Bruce's leg.

"It's a good thing you're so cuddly, Brucey-kins," Tony says, smiling up at him.

Bruce gives him a warm smile and pats his head. "Go to bed, Tone."

* * *

End chapter authors notes: wow okay I have a lot to discuss in these notes sooo bare with me here!

Onto the characters of the fight…wow I suck at fight scenes anyway yeah right would it seriously be that organized (but I've decided that Amora is actually very crafty and she was able to dictate it enough that it totally was) and good lord I know absolutely _zero_ fight moves and the internet is useless. Also all of the people on her side are Marvel characters, yes.

Brona, Enrakt, Forsung, and Magnir are all of the Enchanters Three (I didn't research enough to figure out why there are 4 of them instead of 3). Angrboda and Glut are actually each supposed to be wives of the Norse mythology-verse Loki, and Einmyria (meaning ashes), Eisa (meaning embers), and Narvi are supposed to be his kids. Lorelei is in fact Amora's little sister, any of you who waited for the very end of the Avengers credits knows who Thanos is, Mystique/Raven is from the X-Men, Wanda is known as the Scarlet Witch and is apparently Magneto's daughter or something in the right comic line, Saint-John is known as Pyro and I know _nothing_ about him, and I totally made up Chitauri because obviously that's an entire race and not just the name of an individual person. And yeah there are those characters. And yes I said that Peggy and Sharon have blonde hair. They do in the comics and I wanted Peggy to have a better Woman in Red look, so there.

Also the speech/conversation/whatever between Tony and Amora? Definitely a rewrite of the one that Tony had with Loki in the Avengers movie. Hoo-rah being able to use lines from the movie! Actually somebody told me I have a problem with that, as in I use too many of them—but I don't care whoops.


	16. All These Years

**16: All These Years**

_November 1  
Thursday…_

Jail is…very boring. It also sucks ass because Tony won't be there for when Loki is released from the hospital. He hopes he comes to visit, but he's not really sure. Phillips woke everybody up bright and early (also known as eight AM) for some individual questioning to get the story from multiple perspectives.

Now it's about noon (only forty-five more minutes until lunch!) and everybody is done being questioned, and the twenty-four hours will _not_ be extended for anybody on Team Loki. They're to be let out at six PM that night, six hours and thirty minutes _after_ Loki is let out. All Tony knows is that Loki was let out at about eleven-thirty today; he's not sure if that was on schedule or not.

Tony's mom showed up at about nine this morning and had a talk with Tony, Natasha, and Clint, just getting more details about the whole thing, Tony doing most of the talking since he heard the actual recording. He mentioned that Loki was in the hospital only once and it was only in passing so she wasn't able to talk about it, but _now_ she can get all the details she wants. Also they'll be grounded until next Monday, which is acceptable. Tony's never been grounded before. There were reasons to ground him, it just never happened because it was known he wouldn't obey it. Now that he's got friends, though…well, he's gotten a lot closer to his mom during all of this.

Other parents came, too. Odin and Frigga came by to see Thor and Baldur, and then also gave a hearty hello to those still in their costumes and therefore known as Robin Hood, Little John, Jackie Chan, and Xena. Flash's parents came to reprimand him a bit, telling him that next time he and his friends just need to come straight to the police, and that this day spent in jail will consist of his grounding. Peter's Aunt May is as sweet as honey but stern as any mom, and Gwen's dad George has been in and out since they got in last night since he's a policeman too, just down on the other end of town.

Everybody's gotten so bored that Tony's played and a won a game of chess against each person, Bucky's lost twice at Monopoly, and Thor's accidentally cheated three times in Candy Land.

Sharon didn't wake up until about fifteen minutes ago (okay, so Tony hasn't played chess against _her_ yet), and her questioning was really short. Tony crawls over to her and Bucky, who are having who knows what sort of conversation, and smiles.

"Hey," Bucky says with a grin. "What's up?"

Tony looks at Sharon. "It's been forever since I've ordered a pizza, don't you think?" Please be the right girl please be the right girl or this is going to be really embarrassing…

Sharon's eyes light up. "Tony Stark," she says.

This is the first time that Tony has ever heard her voice and he knows it _instantly_. He's spent years listening to this voice. And here she is. Here she happens to be the girlfriend of Steve's second best friend and cousin of his girlfriend.

"Sharon Carter," he says, shaking her hand. "Small world."

Natasha and Baldur just barely stop Thor from singing by yelling at him not to, and Peggy slams her hand over Steve's mouth before he can either.

"Hey, Tone, I thought of a nickname for you," Clint says as he studies the chess board. He was the last to play and lose against Tony, so he's playing again.

Tony's face lights up, as does Steve's, Bruce's, Pepper's, Natasha's, and Thor's. "What is it?" he asks.

Clint grins at him. "Iron Man."

Tony smiles fades just a bit. "Uh…why?"

He swings around from the chess board and sits right in front of Tony. "What would you do if I told you I fucked your boyfriend?"

"I wouldn't believe you, that's what."

"But let's say I _did_, okay. Let's say Loki cheats on you with me. It didn't happen and it's not going to, but bare with me here. What do you do?"

Tony blinks at him, face emotionless. "It…depends on the exact situation, but I'd probably just blink at you a lot before punching you in the face and kicking you both out of my house."

Clint grins over at the side of the cell that holds Steve, Peggy, Bruce, Clint, Pepper, Baldur, Natasha, and Thor. "See what I mean?"

"Shit, you're right," Natasha says, crawling over to sit in Clint's lap so she can look straight at Tony as well. "I have never seen a better poker face in my entire life."

"Poker face?" Tony asks, cocking an eyebrow. "Shouldn't my nickname be Lady Gaga, then?"

"No," Clint says, pushing Natasha off, "because it's only when you're _mad_ that it's perfect. You can't be Lady Gaga when it's only every once in a while. When you were beating people up last night I caught a glimpse of your face on a few occasions, and it was the most inactive thing I have ever seen in my entire life for such an occasion. I've noticed it before, I just…I never thought of it as a nickname until now! You're like iron when you're angry, dude. Even when you were screaming at Amora you had zero emotion on your face. I'm not even sure how that works."

"Wouldn't it be stone, then?"

Clint gives him a _look_. "Look, are _you_ giving out the nicknames? I don't think so. If you want to be Stone Man that's fine with me, but Iron Man actually sounds _cool_, okay? So fuck you."

Tony chuckles. "Alright, alright, I'll be Iron Man. I would prefer titanium-alloy, though."

Bruce is the only one that laughs.

And Tony's sure that Steve would have made a joke about it, but there isn't any time, because Tony happens to glance through the cell bars just enough to see his favorite person in the entire world walking towards them down the hallway.

"Loki!" Tony yells, leaping up and running over to the bars.

Loki reaches through with his good hand and hugs him hard, though Tony doesn't hug back quite as hard so he doesn't hurt his ribs.

"Are you doin' alright?" Tony asks. I mean, out of the hospital and whatnot? Because you look alright. Your black eyes are nearly gone. How's your hand? Is that a cast? Okay, I won't jostle it too much. Too bad your ribs can't have casts. Are you sure you're alright?"

Loki laughs. "Anthony, honestly, let me speak before I hit you."

"You'd never hit me."

"You're right, come here."

What with having mostly immature people in the cell with them, they get far too man ooh's and ahh's at their kiss. It doesn't matter, though, until Phillips comes past and breaks it up.

"Come on, I'll get you guys a private cell for a bit."

Loki frowns. "You're allowed to do that?"

"I'm a Stark," Tony says, walking out before Phillips locks it behind him. "I'm allowed to do anything."

"Almost," Phillips says, leading them to the nearest empty one-man cell. "No sex or I'll put you back."

Tony just rolls his eyes at him, giving him a sort of "yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it, now go away" motions with his hand.

The door is locked behind them and Loki sits on the one bed in the room. Tony, though, goes straight to the toilet.

"I have been holding this in since I've had my damn costume on," he says, unzipping his pants. He took the main jacket part off, but everything else he kept on. Pepper did the same, plus her heels. "I refuse to pee in front of anybody in there."

"At least you were able to go on your own if you _wanted_ to," Loki says.

"Well, you _could_ have gone. They probably wouldn't have even noticed." He zips up his fly and washes his hands (damn single cell being nicer than his seventeen other people filled one) before flopping down beside Loki and kissing him softly on the cheek. "I'm sorry, Lo'. But I'm fine, okay? You were way worse off than me and you weren't even there."

Loki sighs, giving him a faded smile. "Tone, it's fine, honestly. They needed you and you did what you felt was right. We thought it was going to be an _easy_ fight, with nine-on-two, but that changed, and if protecting our friends means breaking a promise then that's okay. As long as you don't have anything as bad as I do then it's okay." He strokes the fingers of his good hand down Tony's cheek. "Now tell me, who has the worst injury?"

"Clint has a sprained ankle that he gets ice on every day. The other team has a broken arm."

Loki smiles warmly. "Courtesy of my own light fighter, even."

Tony grins. "That's me! How did you get over here, by the way?"

"Mother got me, but she didn't come in because she's on the phone with father about getting back home in an hour."

Tony nods. "I just realized something. I've never been inside of your house before."

Loki blinks. "Oh, you're right. Wow. That will have to be fixed as soon as possible."

Tony grins and leans in so that his lips are just below Loki's ear. "Know what else needs to be fixed?" he whispers, darting his tongue out.

Loki giggles, pushing him away. "What if there are cameras?"

"Then so what? A good old fashioned kiss never hurt anybody."

Loki gives a good natured eye roll. "Oh, alright." He leans forward, kissing Tony languidly. Tony warps his arms lightly around his waist as not to hurt him, perfectly content with slow kisses. If Loki is uncomfortable making out under possible camera, that's okay. Tony knows everybody here a lot better than him anyway.

And it's a good thing they didn't get too heated, too, because about then is when there's a knock on the bars.

"Heyuh, Dum-Dum!" Tony says brightly to the ginger. "What brings you here?"

"Sorry, Tone," he says, opening the doors. "Phillips says you gotta go back in now."

"Aw, really?" He and Loki stand, hands held tight. "Do we have to?"

Dum-Dum shrugs. "I'd suggest it."

Once Tony is locked back up, Loki clears his throat to get everybody's attention. "I'd like to thank all of you for getting thrown in jail for me. It was very nice of you."

The cell laughs.

"I'm sorry about your ankle, Clint."

"That's okay," Clint says with a shrug. "It should be fine by next week if I keep it iced. It's not that bad. Besides, it was totally worth it to have kicked the asses that I did."

Tony frowns. "I just realized, how did _you_ get a sprained ankle? You're mister male ninja and shit."

"Not when you're pushed and tripped at the same time."

"Oh."

"Anyway!" Loki says. "I'm really excited to see the pictures that Tony got of you all. The thirty-five of you must have looked insane fighting in all those costumes."

"It _is_ pretty great," Bucky says. "I fit in perfectly!"

"I lost one of my heels," Sharon says.

"My parents will have found them by now," Flash reassures her.

Tony suddenly realizes how bare Loki's wrist is. "Hey," he says quietly, reaching out and dragging his fingers down the skin there. "Where'd the watch go?"

Loki winces a bit. "I, uh, got rid of it."

Tony frowns. "You could have at least given it back to me."

"It wasn't on purpose… It was on the floor and a nurse stepped on it."

Tony nods. "That's alright, then. No more recording your life, I guess."

Loki grins. "It's an invasion of my privacy anyway."

"Privacy? Around me? You wish."

Frigga comes in a moment later, and then she and Loki end up staying for about an hour, which is longer than they should have if Odin wanted them _home_ in an hour, not _leaving_ by that time. Rhodey had brought them both a chair and informed them that Phillips said they're allowed to stay and visit for as long as they like, and during that hour is when Frigga is given the complete explanation as to why the fight happened (though she mostly knew anyway, she just didn't expect so many) and how it went down.

"Wait, Lo'!" Tony calls as they're walking away.

Loki walks his few feet back and leans in towards Tony between the bars, kissing him softly.

"Okay," Tony says with a grin. "_Now_ you can go."

Loki rolls his eyes and kisses Tony's forehead. "I'll see you tonight."

As soon as Loki and Frigga are out of sight, Peggy pipes up: "You two are so cute."

Tony blushes, going over to sit in front of the chess board. "Thanks. Sharon, you're the only one who hasn't played me yet… Wanna go?"

Her reply is a snort.

Tony sighs, flopping onto his back. "I'll take that as a no."

**XxX**

_November 1  
Thursday…_

Getting out of jail is not nearly as stressful as Tony was ready for. Phillips takes their fingerprints and has them sign something, and then they're allowed to leave, no more questions asked. Every member of their party just goes straight home with their cars, since they were allowed to drive themselves to the station. Steve drops everybody off before Tony says he can just take the Escalade home instead of having to come back, and Natasha and Clint go straight to their rooms to sleep when they get there. Tony, on the other hand, instantly pulls out his phone to call Loki.

"Hey," Loki says right away, "Thor just got back too and mom said we could come over. I don't care if you warn Nat because she's probably already asleep. Baldur's asleep on the couch."

Tony nods and then realizes he can't see it. It's amazing how many years he's had phones around and he still does stuff like that. "Yeah, okay, I'll wait up for you."

"Good. I'll see you soon."

"Really soon. Bye."

As soon as Loki shows up, Tony kisses him as hard as he possibly can without hurting him.

"I love you," Loki whispers, giving him a warm smile and pushing his fingers through Tony's hair. Tony leans into the touch, suddenly understanding Clint on a whole new level. He's always loved the action, but never before has he loved it _this_ much. Something about spending a night in jail must have done it to him. It doesn't matter.

"I love you too," he says, leaning up and kissing his chin.

"Oh, Anthony," Loki sighs, wrapping his arms lightly around Tony's neck. "You need a shower."

Tony breathes a laugh, resting his forehead against Loki's shoulder. "Can I sleep first?"

"Of course."

"Actually, I should go talk to my mom…"

Loki shakes his head, letting go of his neck. "I'll do it. You go to sleep. I'll get things out for your shower as well."

"Are you sure you want to be moving around that much? You should sleep too…"

Loki rolls his eyes. "I have a very high pain tolerance. I'm fine."

Tony rolls his eyes back and goes over to his bed, already having changed out of his suit and into sweats and a t-shirt. "Tell me what she says when I wake up, yeah?"

Loki nods, helping tuck him in with his one good hand. "Sleep tight," he whispers, pressing a kiss to Tony's temple. "Don't let the bedbugs bite."

"Did you know," Tony says, "that the female bedbug doesn't have a sexual opening, so the male actually has to _drill_ his penis into her?"

Loki blinks a bit before turning around to walk away while muttering, "And thus continues the life of the least likely couple in the world."

Tony just grins and goes to sleep.

**XxX**

_November 2  
Friday…_

Upon waking, Loki is nowhere in the room, but there are things lying out that he no doubt picked out for Tony's shower. Tony grabs everything and treks downstairs to the nearest bathroom, showering away the smell of jail. He'll have to wash his sheets now, but that's fine. Once he's dressed he goes back to his room, in which Loki is still not there, so he grabs his phone out and calls him.

"I'm in the laundry room," he says right away.

Tony frowns. "Where the hell is the laundry room?"

"Second floor up, the first door at the top. You can't miss it. It says 'LAUNDRY' across the door."

"Alright, alright, I'm coming."

His phone reads one in the morning, which means that, if everyone was let out of jail at six, Tony slept for about six hours, because it took about forty-five minutes to shower and the like. Usually it's far less than that, but he stood under the spray doing nothing for a while. He usually doesn't do that, but there's a first for everything.

Tony's never been in the laundry room before, in all his seventeen years. He doesn't do his own and therefore never had a need. Maybe that's why Tony never found Steve whenever they played hide 'n seek…

Tony knocks once before pushing it open, and there sits Loki on the floor on the other side, completely surrounded by pictures of all shapes and sizes and colors.

"I was exploring," Loki says without looking up, "and I found your old family photographs."

Tony's eyes widen. "We _have_ some of those?"

Loki nods. "You're not more than three in any of these. Dates are written on the back."

Tony makes his way carefully across the room and sits behind Loki, scooting forward until he's straddling him from behind. Loki holds a couple up to him.

"Look, this one you're asleep on an airplane, and this one you're in a tiny little suit at a nice dinner."

Tony frowns and looks around at some of the other photos lying around on the floor. "We _only_ have 'nice' dinners."

"I think you're cute."

"I don't even remember any of this. Three must have been the age I ceased being tolerable so my dad stopped taking me around."

Loki shrugs and sets them down. "At least you know he was alright with the idea of you for a few years, anyway."

Tony levels the back of his head with a bit of a glare. "Yes, very reassuring."

"Don't look at my like that," he says without turning around. "I think it's a fact worth knowing."

Tony sighs, not questioning how Loki knew about his face.

"If we ever adopt kids together," Loki continues, "we're taking _lots_ of pictures."

"We'll have to get two different age groups," Tony says. "One young enough that they won't remember a life before, and one as old as you were."

Loki nods. "Yes, I like that idea."

Tony suddenly gets an idea of his own. "Hey!" He leans around to look at Loki better. "I know what we should do on Saturday."

Loki cocks an eyebrow. "What?"

"Visit your orphanage."

Loki blinks at him before looking away. "I'm…not sure if I want to."

Tony nods. "I won't push you, then. Not for this."

Loki sighs. "Oh, to hell with it. Let's do it. I'll probably know at least a few of them."

Tony laughs, wrapping his arms loosely around his stomach. "It'll be fun. Now let's put these away, yeah? It's _your_ turn to sleep."

Once everything is away and they're back in Tony's room, Tony tucks Loki in before deciding he hasn't played his DS in a while.

_Hmm_, he thinks, going silently through his chips as Loki falls asleep. _Brain Age or Spyro…_

He ends up playing both of them for about an hour each before turning on the cable TV (the volume so low he might as well not even have it on) and slowly falling asleep to the tiny buzz.

**XxX**

_November 2  
Friday…_

Loki wakes him up for school the next morning, his body wanting to refuse but knowing it shouldn't. Loki missed all week and Tony missed Thursday, so they should at least go Friday to get whatever homework they need. Clint and Natasha are already eating breakfast with Maria, and that's when Tony realizes that Loki never told him what she said.

"Mom?" he ventures.

She turns to him with a warm smile. "Morning, Tony. Sleep well?"

He smiles back at her. "Good enough."

"Good. Now eat your pancakes; you missed school yesterday."

Tony and Loki sit down, Tony instantly leaning over to Loki, who knows right away what he means and whispers into his ear, "I glossed it over some more after you, Natasha, and Clint were visited by her this morning."

"Brilliant."

"Indeed. Eat your pancakes."

Tony rolls his eyes. Sometimes he's not sure if he's got a boyfriend or a wife.

When the four of them get to school, everybody and then some is already at the cafeteria (why are they _always_ last?). Apparently the entire story got out to the whole school yesterday, so now everyone is sitting around and begging to "tell us again" and giving them stupid titles like "hero" and "soldier". Tony is the only one generally unhappy about it.

"It's great, sure,' he mutters to Phil when he stops in during his free period while Tony is supposedly going to the bathroom. "It's just that, if it gets back to my dad, then he's going to do _something_ to me for hurting his image, and I'm not really looking forward to it."

Somehow, after that, it all seemed to die down a bit. Tony's not sure what he did or even if it was him at all, but he was thrilled.

"I hate homework," Loki mutters as Tony comes up to him at his locked.

"Did you not get any lenience for being injured?" Gwen asks, her and Peter already with him.

"Not in the slightest."

"I'll help you with it," Tony says, mussing up his hair.

Peter and Gwen have to go straight home after that, due to the fact that they're both grounded, but all of Steve, Bruce, Pepper, and Thor are fine. They're allowed over even _if_ Tony, Natasha, and Clint are grounded. Steve's mom didn't discipline him because she's too sick, Bruce's mom didn't because she thought it was hilarious, Pepper's grandparents didn't because it's the first bad thing she's done _ever_ (at least as far as they _know_), and Frigga already knew it would be happening and fully supported it anyway.

They all bunker down in Tony's room to do their homework, the playlist of music they _all_ like (it's very small) playing quietly in the background. Tony's mom gave Clint one of Howard's old pipes and he's currently smoking something that smells like cinnamon, Natasha and Thor are sharing a grape flavored cigar, and Bruce and Tony are drinking vodka disguised in a can of Sprite. The pop is gone, they're just the only ones that know that. When everyone is done they scoot around to help Loki with all of his, not taking a single break until they're _done_.

"I have never understood math more than this moment," Clint says, done for the day with his pipe.

Bruce smiles at him and kisses his temple. "I would suggest we help Loki with it more often, then, but you'd probably hit me."

"Yeah, I would."

Tony is about to say something, but there's a knock on the door instead. He turns the music off and calls out, "Come in!"

The door opens to Tony's mother, a grave look on her face.

Tony shoves his Sprite can into Clint's hands and mumbles "expect the unexpected" before getting up and going over to her. The only time she ever gives him that look is when Howard is involved.

"Did he find out about it?" Tony asks her quietly.

She nods. "He'd like to speak to you. _All_ of you."

Tony cringes. "Alright, I'll tell them. What room is he in?"

"His office, presently, but he would like for all of you to make your way to the bottom floor sitting room."

Tony nods again. "Well be right there."

Once she closes the door, Tony turns slowly around to his friends. Loki and Pepper are in front of him right away, Thor asking what it is that is so troubling from his spot still on the floor.

"My dad," Tony says, leaning against the door. "He, uh, heard about the fight and jail and wants to talk to us."

"Us?" Clint asks.

Tony nods. "_All_ of us. You can run now, but he _will_ learn your name, so don't expect to ever be able to come back."

"I'll stay" echoes firmly through the room.

Tony nods. "Good. It shouldn't be that bad, just…not very good. Nat and Thor, ditch the cigar, and Bruce and Clint, either down those _really_ fast or you can put them into my mini fridge for later."

Bruce right away gets up to do so, but Clint shakes the can up by his ear before tossing his head back and downing it all.

They make their way silently to the first floor sitting room, Tony telling each of them where to sit. He's pretty sure he knows how this is going to work, so to where Howard will be sitting, Tony will be on his far left, followed across the room by Loki, Thor, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Steve, and Pepper on his far right.

"Nobody say a _word_ unless you're spoken to," Tony says, adjusting pillows and stoking up the fire a bit. "Don't look away from him unless it's to look at me for a signal of any sort—you know what it is when you see it. This is technically all your first impressions even though he came up and told us not to be so loud that one time, so…" He turns specifically to Clint and Natasha. "_Don't blow it_. If he doesn't like you he _will_ find a way to make sure you never come back, and then I can't help you with a place to live."

"Clint can stay with me if he really needs to," Bruce says. "But only if he _needs_ to. My mom likes him enough if the need persists."

"And my household could take Natasha," Thor says with a nod.

Tony nods too and quick goes back over to his own seat, _just_ in time for his parents to walk in. Howard sits where Tony knew he would, and Maria just sits in the closest chair to him. Tony didn't know she'd come in as well, but thankfully it doesn't change up the seating arrangement at all.

Nobody says a word for a few seconds, until Howard finally breaks it:

"How are you, Tony?"

Tony blinks at him. "Excuse me?" he asks after a moment.

"Feelings," Howard says, hands folded in his lap. "You have them, I know it. How are they?"

Tony swallows. "Anxious, sir."

He nods. "Expected. Let's get down to business, then? I would like to be introduced properly to _all_ of you. So, starting with my son's…boyfriend…I would like you all to tell me your names and what you would like your future profession to be. Work is very important at your age, for you must start in your youth if you wish to be at the top in a later time. Oh, and tell me _why_."

All of them swallow, including Tony. His dad didn't say "boyfriend" with any _particular_ malice, he was just _careful_ around the word. Tony knows he doesn't really care about Tony's sexual orientation, he just wants a grandson with Stark blood to carry on the name and business. Tony's glad he knows so, if asked, any of them can freely give out their orientations as well.

"Please begin," Howard says to Loki.

Loki licks his lips. "My name is Loki Asgard, and I am not _positive_, but as long as it's involved around children then I'll be happy. I want this because I was adopted very young, but old enough to remember a life before, and I want to make sure that children all over the world can feel wanted their _whole_ lives instead of just occasionally."

Tony's not sure if he should smile or just elbow the guy. It was a good answer, it was just obviously insinuating of Howard's _poor_ childcare—though he masked it enough that Howard will probably ignore it.

Howard nods. "What age were you adopted at?"

"Seven."

"Yes, by Odin. Business partner of mine, as you know." He looks over at Thor.

The blonde sits up straighter and plasters on a polite smile. "I am Thor Asgard, the blood son of Odin and adopted brother of Loki. I wish to become an architect. Not particularly in which I myself get to design what I build, but as long as I get to build it I will be happy. I like such things. Tis a simple reason, but the truth."

Howard gives a little eyebrow raise at "tis", but other than that he seems fine. "I believe we have met before, when you were very young, before any of this adoption matter. It's good to see you've grown into a…fine young man." He turns to Natasha.

She gives a dainty clear of her throat before giving one of the faker smiles Tony's ever seen her wear. "My name is Natasha Romanov, and I want to be a lawyer. Preferably a prosecutor, but I could settle for defense if the need persisted. I want this because I'm good at compiling personal details that could be evidence and because I like throwing people into the fire." Her smile is more genuine now, but not by a lot.

"Never settle, Miss Romanov," Howard says sternly. "Settling with your second choice is _never_ an option. Why? Because you'll always be second best. Doing what you want is what makes you do your best, and if you don't do your best then you shouldn't be doing it at all."

Natasha actually looks generally thankful for the short, stern speech as she thanks him, and Howard gives a simple nod before looking over at Clint.

Tony resists the urge to scream at it all. This is so _weird_. He and his father hate each other, and here they all are giving and getting business advice. What's next, an early declaration of Howard being home for Thanksgiving so they can "be together"? Yeah right. And speaking of yeah right, Natasha wants to be a lawyer? When was that decided? Tony always pictured her wanting to join the secret service or something.

Clint, being Clint, doesn't clear his throat or straight up or _anything_. He just plasters on a "so I don't actually like you very much" sort of grin and has at it: "Clint Barton, at your service. I want to do anything that has some _action_ to it. A club bouncer, a bodyguard, a government assassin… It's all great to me. Currently I work the nightshift at the store that sells everything, and it can get pretty fun that late, but not quite enough. Anything in which I'm in constant danger is the life for me."

Tony notices a slight bout of panic in Maria's eyes, but Howard actually _laughs_. It's not that he's usually stone cold normally, he just is when he's around Tony. "I like you, kid. You've got the spunk I've been after for a while now. Eighteen yet?"

Clint cocks an eyebrow. "For a few months. What're you thinkin' about?"

"You like weapons?"

"Favorite thing. I'm more of an archery guy than any real firepower, though."

"Well, I'm in the weapons department for the big boys. They don't have much use for _archery_, but I need weapons testers. None of this 'take-home' test kind, but the 'ship you over seas to a range' kind. After your graduate, of course."

The room is silent. So silent that Tony's pretty sure they've all died. A room is _never_ quiet like this, especially not with Clint in a room.

Clint licks his lips, giving the first sign of general uneasiness that Tony has seen _ever_. "Mind if I get back to you on that?"

"Of course!" Howard says, flitting a wrist. "No need to make a decision now. I'll be happy to give you the necessary items and locations to research such a job." He looks over at Bruce. "Bruce Banner. You've come around here enough times that I at least know your name. What would _you_ like to be?"

Tony can tell that Bruce barely resists the urge not to just shrug. "A scientist of sorts, I suppose. You know that Tony and I love tinkering around on things and experimenting with them. Radiation fascinates me, so I'd love to be with anything that involves…that. Danger and the like. Not immediate danger, but the kind you won't notice right away. The fun kind."

Howard smirks. "I could have guessed that. You and Tony come in first for every biannual science fair, don't you?"

Bruce nods. "Every time."

He nods, turning to Steve. "Very good. Steve Rogers, I _know_ what you want to be. Military, of course. Any branch as long as you're in on the action. Who was it because of again? Your father?"

Steve shakes his head. "My grandfather. I like the thought of peace even if it's through destruction. As long as we reach the goal."

Howard nods. "Precisely a reason I'm in my particular business." He turns to Pepper. "Virginia Potts. Still set on a high paying job where you hardly do a thing?"

Pepper gives a tiny smile. "Why not? Government officials do it every day."

That gets Howard laughing.

"I'll have to work more than others if I do what I want, though," she continues.

He gives a subtle eye roll. "Yes, I'm well aware. Does he know about this such goal yet?"

"Not a clue."

Howard simply nods before looking over at Tony.

Tony blinks a _lot_. Secrets? Pepper has a _secret_ with his _dad_? This is not going at all how Tony wanted it to. His friends are closer to his dad than he is. Is there any specific reason? Is Tony really _that_ different from him? Maybe it's because they're the same blood, or because… Tony's not even sure. Howard's always been so _cold_ to him, so calculating. He's _never_ heard "I love you", and not "how are you" until today. What's happening? This…isn't right. It's not right. He can't do this. He doesn't want to.

Apparently everyone has been saying his name this whole time, but he doesn't answer them. He stands up and walks calmly out of the room and to the stairs before he starts to run, going to the very last place in the world that anybody would think he'd go: the closet of the second guest bedroom on the second floor. It's the most random place he can think of.

He doesn't know how long he's there, but it's not long enough before the door is being opened by none other than his father. He looks over Tony's position on the ground, knees pulled up to his chest and chin against his knees.

"Get up, Tony," he says, holding the door open further.

"No," Tony says, looking away."

"I expected your friends to embarrass _you_, not the other way around. Get up and come back like a civilized human being."

"I'll be civilized once _you_ are."

"And how am I not doing so?"

"Because you're being so _cold_ about it. I'm your _son_, for fucks sake. Dad's are supposed to give their kids hugs when they hide themselves in closets, not tell them to stop moping."

"Do you _want_ a hug?"

"No."

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem is that you wouldn't give me one even if I _did_ want it."

Howard lets out an aggravated sigh. "At least stand when you're trying to make a point. You just look like a whining three year old down there."

Tony looks up at him with a sad glare. "We have family photos, you know. Not very many of them. Some dates are written on the back and three is the oldest I am in any of them." He stands, coming out of his closet (he'd laugh if not for a few things, one being he's already out and two that this is _not_ the time). "Why is that, _dad_? Is that when you started to get tired of me? When I got too big to handle so I was never anywhere but home _to_ get a picture taken?"

Howard hardly looks at all fazed. "That's when you told me you hated me," he says simply.

Tony frowns. "I said that when I was _three_?" Before Howard can say it, though, he continues: "Oh, who cares _how_ old I was? I didn't just say it because I _could_. There was obviously a reason. Do you by chance _know_ the reason?"

Howard nods.

"Well _tell_ me."

Howard looks down, takes a few steps back, and looks back up. "Maria was using the restroom and I was 'flirting' with another woman. When she walked away you asked if I still loved your mother. I said I never did."

Tony almost hits him. "And there's the reason," he whispers.

"You don't get it, Tony. She never loved me either."

Tony frowns. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Our marriage was arranged."

Tony blinks a lot some more. "_Arrangement_? In _these_ last fifty years?"

"It's a long story that even I don't remember. The point is, we _tried_ to love each other, but we don't belong together. When I told you that I didn't love her, you didn't understood what I meant, but I knew you wouldn't have been able to understand the concept of an arranged marriage, so I just let it happen. It hurt, you know, to hear that you hated me. I did love you at first, but after that we…drifted. You didn't like speaking to me. Eventually you forgot about the reason, but the hatred was still there."

Tony pinches the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut. "Are you telling me that I didn't have a father all my life because of my _own_ doing?"

"Yes."

He drops his hand. "And now it's been too long to fix it."

Howard gives a solemn nod.

Tony looks down. "Apologizing would probably just be stupid."

"It would."

He looks up at him. "What did I miss downstairs?"

"Some silence before your mother told me to go find you. I want you to know that this is only the third place I want."

Tony wrinkles his nose up and walks towards the door. "I don't want to know why this was your choice, so lets just…go back downstairs."

"No need," Howard says, following him out. "I dismissed them. I learned what I needed to."

Tony frowns. "That's all you wanted to know?"

"Names and if they're worthy enough to come into my house. Anyone who 'doesn't know what they want to be' or wants to work someplace mediocre isn't worth anyone's time."

Tony frowns. "You…don't want to talk about the fight?"

Howard frowns back. "Why would I want to talk about that? You've been in jail plenty of times. This time is no different. It's not like you killed anybody. I learned what I needed to know from you all."

Tony looks down with narrowed eyes. "Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas."

Howard scoffs. "As if I need any of _your_ ideas."

Tony gives a sort of "you've got a point" nod. "Right, so…does this…change anything between us, or are we going to keep ignoring each other?"

Howard purses his lips. "Ignoring each other would be for the best."

Tony nods, making his way towards the stairs. "I agree."

Not another word is said between each other as they go opposite directions on the stairs, Howard to do who knows what and Tony to meet his doom. He opens his bedroom door silently, but everyone is already in there and staring at him.

"What happened?" at least four of them ask at once.

"Nothing," Tony says quietly, not moving from the doorway.

"Leave the lying to Loki, Tone," Pepper says.

"I said _nothing_," he growls.

Loki and Steve both stand at once, look at each other for a couple of seconds, nod, and then Steve sits back down while Loki continues to stand.

Tony runs out before he can get all the way across the room from where Tony's bed is, going straight back to his new favorite closet. He knows Loki doesn't run because of his injuries, but there's a quiet little knock on the door in a few seconds anyway, and Tony is starting to believe that he's leaving glowing footprints or something.

"Anthony," he says quietly from the other side of the closet door. "Will you let me in?"

* * *

End chapter authors notes: 1. this chapter title is just supposed to mean just that after "all these years" it's been Tony's fault all along and yeah

2. _"__Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas."_ Totally a quote I stole whoops. It's said by Paula Poundstone, though where and when I don't know.


	17. Your Bucket List Can Suck It

**17: Your Bucket List Can Suck It**

_November 2  
Friday…_

Tony frowns at the handle (or where he thinks it is, anyway; he can't see a thing). There's no lock, he can just get in if he turns it. "No," he says, hoping he won't notice.

"I'm coming in anyway. I just wanted to ask first."

Tony sighs. "Okay," he whispers.

The door opens, flooding it with light. It's not a _small_ closet, but it ain't your regular walk-in size either. Probably big enough for four Tony-sized people to fit inside. The shelves are also up higher since there's a hanger bar, so enough room for Tony-sized people to stand as well.

"Are there any lights in here?" Loki asks, stepping inside.

"I don't know," Tony mutters.

He barely catches a smile on the green-eyed boys' as he closes the door behind him. "Good. Take off your clothes."

Tony frowns even though Loki probably can't see him. "What?"

"We're deprived and horny. _Take off your clothes_."

Tony doesn't need to be told twice. He stands and strips completely, tossing his clothes around haphazardly. His eyes have _somewhat_ adjusted, but he's never really been one for seeing things in the dark. Loki must be fine at it, though, because the next thing Tony knows is that Loki is pressing him up against one of the walls and is kissing him hard.

"I don't want to hurt you," Tony says, hands sliding down Loki's back before splaying over his naked ass.

"I know," Loki says, sucking a spot on his neck. "I'll tell you when you do and we can correct it. Simple."

"But I don't want to _get_ to that point."

Loki licks up to his earlobe and nibbles. "Anthony," he whispers, arms slipping slowly down his chest, fingers splayed out and nails scraping lightly. "Do you want to have sex with me or not?"

Tony suppresses a growl as he bits down on Loki's shoulder. He starts to pull him closer, but instead he lets out a guttural gasp at the sudden hand gripping around his cock.

Loki laughs, pulling away and pushing on Tony's shoulder with his good hand so that Tony slides down the wall and sits.

"Lick your fingers and then hold the hand up," he commands.

Tony does, and it's right away taken by Loki's own hand, maneuvered until the fingers are pressed lightly against his entrance, the boy standing and probably bracing himself up who knows how. It's far too dark in here. There's no light coming under the door because it's dark out there as well.

"Stretch me," Loki says.

He moans as Tony does, rocking into the touch, before eventually pushing Tony away and declaring himself ready.

Tony hears him bend down, and he kisses Tony hard before slowly trailing kisses lower and lower until his lips are at Tony's cockhead, licking all over to coat it (obviously for lack of having any lube). A moment later he's pulling away, and Tony's not sure how _Loki_ can see so well, but he's very glad, because if he can't see then it's a good thing his lover at least has perfect self-positioning skills.

Loki sinks down about an inch onto Tony before pulling back up, going down two inches and going back up, and bouncing up and down until Tony is buried to the hilt, both of them moaning and kissing in a frenzy. That's when Tony realizes the exact position they're in.

"Lo-Loki," he says, pulling away and kissing down the side of his neck. "You shouldn't be on me l-like this." He can't help but move at least a bit, pushing up just a little deeper as Loki pushes back against him. "It's more w-work for you and you'll be h-hurt."

"I'll be fine," Loki breathes out, lifting up and pushing back down.

Tony grits his teeth so he doesn't let out too much of a moan. He knows Loki's just going to keep arguing with him, so instead of trying to convince him, Tony simply wraps his arms gently around his lover and carefully leans forward so that Loki ends up on his back. He ignores Loki's protests and gets up on his knees, smoothing a hand up Loki's chest (since he can't see) until he can place a finger against his mouth.

"I don't _care_ if I'm the one who needs this," he whispers, pulling the hand away and moving back down to hold onto Loki's hip, his other hand on the other side. "It doesn't mean I don't care if you get hurt."

Loki is silent for a moment before saying, "Okay, fine, just _move_."

Tony grins, at first rocking back and forth slowly, loving the sound of their combined whimpers of pleasure and Loki begging him to move faster. Tony knows when he's found Loki's sweet spot when the boy goes dead silent before moaning far too loudly, and Tony can only hope his parents have enough common sense to _stay away_.

Loki breathes out an "oh", nails of his good hand scraping down Tony's back. His bad hand has been lying limp on the ground except for the occasional reach up before it's set back down, as if Loki's train of thought was "dammit you are hot let me hold onto you with—oh wait yeah never mind better just leave that out of this".

Tony reaches up one of his hands and trails it over Loki's stomach until he finds his cock, gripping and pumping. Loki comes soon, coating Tony's stomach and his own. The feel of the pulse beneath Tony's hand and the liquidy substance on his skin has Tony coming soon after, mashing his face into the crook of Loki's neck to dull his moans at least as much as he can.

"Sex in a closet," Tony breathes out, pulling out of Loki with a soft pop and lying beside him (not on him or he'll hurt him), "check."

Loki's hands continue to run mindlessly up and down Tony's chest and side and hip and as far down his thigh as he can reach.

After a few minutes to revive, Loki pulls his hands away and Tony rolls on his back. There's not quite enough room to stretch out all the way, but nearly.

"Any you only had to correct yourself once," Loki says with a quiet laugh.

Tony reaches over and feels up Loki's chest until he can caress his cheek, the hand closest to Loki twining with his fingers since that's the good hand. "You're alright, then? Want any painkillers?"

"Yes, but no, I don't need any. I'm fine, love. Let's just clean ourselves up and get out of here. It is _hot_."

They end up using Tony's t-shirt to clean up their stomachs, deciding it'd be better if Tony was walking around shirtless than Loki. There's no need, though, because they don't run into anyone on their way back to Tony's room.

"W-o-w," Natasha says as they walk back inside. "_You_ two certainly looked well and thoroughly _fucked_."

Loki gives a guilty grin while Tony just grins unabashedly as he tosses his shirt into the dirty clothes hamper. "If any of your guys' bucket lists had 'have sex in a closet' then you can _suck it_."

"So, Mellow," Clint says form where he's cuddled up with Bruce. "What'd he tell you happened?"

Loki purses his lips as Tony takes his hand and pulls him over to the couch, tossing his t-shirt into the laundry basket on the way. "We didn't actually talk about that at all."

"Which is fine," Tony says before anybody can complain, "Because I'm alright with telling you guys now." So he does, explaining about only having pictures up until he was three, the arranged marriage, and the distance technically being his own fault.

Clint snorts. "Who the fuck has _arranged marriages_ still?"

Natasha and Bruce both smack the back of his head at the same time, giving an awkward sort of backwards high five in the process. "There's a time and a place, Clint," Natasha hisses into his ear, "and now is _not that time_."

Tony shrugs. "Its fine, I expected it from him. I thought the same thing, in any case. He said he doesn't really remember how it happened. Either way, for years I've been pushing him away because I thought that _he_ was pushing _me_ away, but he just wasn't fighting it. That's a problem in of itself, but not as bad as my own."

"What happens now, then?" Steve asks. "If you found out that you're so far apart simply because you were too young to understand it, are you going to try to become more…father-son like?"

Tony shakes his head. "I asked and he said it would be better if we continued to ignore each other. I agree with him. It would be awkward, odd, and difficult. I just…we couldn't. We'd have to start completely over. Do you know what it's like to have to get to know somebody that you hate because of your own mistake?"

"Oh, you don't hate him," Pepper says. "And he never hated you, either. It's simply the distance."

"I don't hate him _now_, but I definitely did because I thought _he_ hated _me_. I'm such an idiot."

"At least you're pretty," Loki says, leaning over and kissing his cheek.

Tony rolls his eyes. "At least _somebody_ thinks so."

"_I_ want to have sex," Thor whines, flopping forward and into Natasha's lap.

The room laughs.

"Then go have it!" Tony says.

They're up and out of there in a flash, no doubt down to Natasha's room. Clint wiggles his eyebrows at Bruce, and Tony's science buddy rolls his eyes before they go as well, off to Clint's room. Steve and Pepper blink a few times before looking over at each other and, without looking away, pull out their cell phones.

"Happy?" Pepper says into hers at the same time Steve says, "Peg?"

Tony laughs as Pepper gathers up her things and heads towards the door to leave, but he cuts it off when he hears Steve say, "Want to go to the gym?"

"Steeeve!" he whines. "That is _not_ what we're all doing right now!"

Steve frowns. "What? You know we're not ready—"

Tony is over and snatching his phone away before he can stop him. "Peggy, hi, it's Tony."

"Hey," she says. "What's that you're whining about?"

He grins. "Steve is really self-conscious which is why he didn't want a blow job but he really fucking likes you and totally wants to have sex—"

"TONY!"

"—but he's too much of a pussy to tell you himself so I'm telling you for him. What do you say?"

She's silent for a moment. "Let me talk to him."

Tony grins and hands the phone over to Steve, who shoots daggers at him with his eyes. "Peg, I am so sorry, Tony—" He cuts off and just listens, and suddenly he's growing very, _very_ red on every inch of visible skin. "I'll be right over." He pockets his phone, punches Tony _hard_ on the shoulder, gathers all his stuff, and walks out without a word.

Tony sighs and clasps his hands together. "All in a days work." He goes back over to the couch and plops down lightly beside Loki as not to jostle him, turning on the TV to play some Kirby. It's been far too long and they still have some more fabric patterns to get.

**XxX**

_November 3  
Saturday…_

Tony and Loki are completely ready by two in the afternoon the next day, both showered, dressed, and prepared to go to a place that will mean completely different things to each of them. To Loki it was his home for six years…where he grew up. For Tony it's simply the place that Loki did such a thing, but there's no strongly personal value to it for him.

The drive there is short and parking is easy, which right away sets Loki in a droopy sort of mood.

"Ready for this?" Tony asks. He'd take his hand, but he can't reach the good one.

Loki nods. "Did you know that November is National Adoption Awareness Month?"

Tony nods back. "You've only told me twelve times today, including that it's National Model Railroad Month, National Novel Writing Month, the first week of November is Chemistry Week, and the first Saturday of every month is Book Lovers Day. Are we getting out?"

Loki sighs through his nose and swings out, Tony following after.

"Don't hold my hand," Loki says. "There will only be a couple of children in the front room, but it makes them think we're a couple, which we are, but not the married type that adopts. Don't smile or make any eye contact with anyone shorter than you. I don't want them to think we're looking to bring one of them home."

Tony nods and shoves his hands into his pockets against the mild November air, following Loki inside. He expected a run down little thing, but the building is actually one of the nicer "public" ones he's ever been inside of around here. Loki elbows for him to follow him over to the front desk, where sits a girl no older than Tony and Loki. Actually, she looks so much like Loki that it's rather uncanny.

Loki gives her a hard look, to which she returns, until they seem to shake their heads. "You don't look like you're here to adopt," she says, giving both of them a once over. "Or that you're old enough even if you were."

"We're, ah, visiting," Loki says quietly.

She cocks an eyebrow. "We usually don't allow it. It gets the kids' hopes too high."

"I understand that," Loki says with a sad laugh. "I just…I grew up here. I wanted to see it again."

Her eyes widen. "Loki?" she asks.

Loki's knees give out and he would have dropped if Tony hadn't caught him. "Leah!" he says, using Tony to stand back up. "You're here!" He reaches across the counter and hugs her with one arm.

"I never left!" she says brightly.

Loki pulls away. "What?"

She shrugs, sitting back down. "Nobody ever adopted me."

Loki looks like he's about to break apart, so Tony pushes him a bit to go back behind the desk and hug her again. He does before leaning against the desk.

"I'd adopt you," he whispers, taking her hand with his good one.

She looks up at him with a sad sort of look and seems like she's about to say something equally sad, but instead she really _looks_ at Loki. His hands and face, since she can't see through his t-shirt. "Is that a broken hand? Are you alright? What happened?"

Tony, who can't see Loki's face, can still tell he's rolling his eyes. "Broken carpals," he mutters. "It's nothing, just a car accident."

She nods, standing up. "Yes, well, my nothing is the same, so I'm still here."

"Are you eighteen?"

"Yes, but I'm finishing high school. I've been working here for a few years now, including occasional nightshift when I don't need the sleep, since I've had my own room here since I was fourteen. I'm saving up for college. A four-point-oh, a real job, and the fact that I've done all of it without a real family is stuff they look for, you know, so I can get scholarships and the like. It's fine, using my pain to my advantage. Maybe even a little bit fun."

Loki tilts his head to the right, and Tony knows he's got that stupid, adorable, warm little smile on that he always gives. "I know you won't have any time off," he says, "so I won't invite you out, but…is there anything you need help with here that I'm able to help you with?"

She gives him a look and then leans over to look at Tony. "Who's your hot friend?" She grins at Loki. "Not as hot as you, of course."

Loki flits his wrist at her. "In which neither you can have. That's Anthony, my boyfriend."

She chuckles. "Should have guessed. You never did like me back."

"I was _six_! Guys don't like _any_one at _six_!"

She shrugs. "Either way, no, there really isn't. You can…sit on the floor if you want."

Loki laughs, standing up straight. "No, I can make Tony file papers, but I can't make him sit."

Tony reaches forward and tugs on Loki's t-shirt, and when he turns around he says, "You can stay if you want to. I can find something to do—I mean, we're in the middle of town, it's not that hard."

Loki smiles. "Really? All alone?"

Tony shrugs. "Yeah, I'll get gas and some cereal and milk and camp out on a bench by the water."

Leah laughs. "I like him," she says to Loki, kicking lightly at his shin.

Loki ignores her with a good natured eye roll as he leans over the counter and kisses Tony on the cheek. "Don't forget a spoon."

Tony smirks, wishing he could give him a real kiss back but not wanting to make any of the few kids in the room uncomfortable. So he just musses up Loki's hair before saying, "Text me when you're done," and walking out.

**XxX**

_November 3  
Saturday…_

Tony ends up foregoing gas and food and just goes up and down random sidewalks, saying hi to random people and helping random old ladies feed the pigeons (he didn't know they still did that, but now that he sees how fun it is he's glad they do). He also does a bit of shopping, in which he buys a game for his DS called Super Princess Peach (he's already played and beaten the whole thing, but he lost the chip years ago and knows Loki will love it), a sexy but still (nearly) school appropriate leather (pleather?) dress for Natasha, a box of condoms for Steve (he hasn't heard back yet for how _any_ of that went, but he's planning on calling him at about six tonight to see), and also an entire new bedspread for himself.

Well…also for Loki, considering. Tony's sheets and blanket are old and rather gross, to be honest, so when he thought of the idea he just couldn't pass it up. The last one was mostly black with some blue slashed in, but this one is red and gold. Loki looks better in green, though, so Tony got green pillowcases. He doesn't care how awkwardly Christmas it is, he just wants a happy boyfriend. He'll put it all on the next time that he somehow makes it into his bedroom with Loki somewhere else.

That's as much as he gets done before Loki texts him a couple and a half hours later, and as soon as he gets into the car and Tony asks him how it went he _won't stop talking_. Not that that's bad. Tony loves it. One of his favorite things is watching somebody talk about something they had fun doing. Their eyes get wide, their smiles stretch off their faces, and they talk faster than they can think so they stumble over their words a lot. When Loki does it he's adorable.

It's about six when they get back to Tony's because they stopped by Loki's so he could stock up on more clothes, so when they get back to Tony's place they're surprised to see Phil and an unknown woman standing at the bottom of the stairs and talking to Tony's mother.

"Phil?" Tony says, setting his bags down (he left the bed set in the trunk so Loki wouldn't see). "You couldn't even text me first?"

Phil turns around to him with a grin. "Tony! Sorry, this was a last minute decision." He nods to Maria before turning to the woman next to him. "_This_ is Tony, the one I've told you about. And that's Loki, his boyfriend."

The woman nods and Tony and Loki give a polite nod back.

"Tony…" Phil says with a grin. "This is Sigyn."

Tony's face bursts into a smile. "Oh _her_! I can't believe I didn't guess that!" He goes over and shakes her hand. "It's great to meet you, I heard quite a bit about you. How were the Joker and Harley Quinn costumes?"

She gives a laugh that's somehow dainty and firm at the same time. "Wonderful, thank you. How was jail?"

He shrugs. "Boring, but I've known that for years."

She laughs again, and then Phil speaks: "Well, we really didn't have much time. We were going to leave, but then you walked in! I'll see you at school on Monday, yeah?"

Tony nods. "And we really need another movie night!"

"Double date?"

"You know what I mean."

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, text me."

Tony does as soon as they're gone: **How much does she know about us?**

**Enough, but not all of it**, Phil replies a moment later. **I'll fill you in at school.**

**Kk.**

_That's_ when Tony decides it's time to call Steve…

"Hello?" he answers.

"I bought you condoms!" Tony yells into it from the confines of his room as Loki plays his new Super Princess Peach game. He'll give the dress to Natasha tomorrow.

Steve sighs. "Uh, thanks."

Tony frowns. "Uh-oh, that didn't sound good. What happened?"

"Nothing bad."

"…then why did you sigh?"

"Because we're in the hospital right now so she can meet my mom. You called just after I finished washing my hands in the bathroom."

Tony chuckles. "Well, at least you're done. How was it?"

Steve is silent for a moment before letting out an almost strangled breath. A breath that Tony knows _all_ too well. The sort of breath you let out when you're reliving a certain moment. "Pretty great," he chokes out.

"You bloody virgin, _tell me_."

Steve lets out a brilliant sigh that Tony is also familiar with. "It was _perfect_, okay? It wasn't awkward and she made sure I knew what I was doing and—"

"Hang on," Tony says, cutting him off. "_She_ made sure _you_ knew what you were doing?"

Steve groans. "It's not as bad as it sounds, okay? I was a virgin and she wasn't. She honestly didn't seem to care and… My word, Tony, the way she _looked_ at me! It was like she didn't care what I looked like, just that I was _me_!"

Tony grins. "Well, yeah, you _are_ gettin' pretty filled out now that you're working out more. That happens sometimes. I knew she'd be perfect for you. How hot was it?"

"…hot as in warm or attractive?"

"Both."

"Both were about the same. I think I was suffering from heat stroke."

Tony laughs. "So what do you say for stealing your phone?"

Steve sighs. "Thank you, Tony," he mutters.

"That's the spirit! Now get back out there and tell them both hi for me."

"Will do. And I do mean it, Tony. Thank you. Not just for getting me laid, but…I don't know, for some other things, too."

Tony grins. "Hey, anything for my best friend. I'll talk to you later, yeah?"

"Mmhmm, bye."

Tony tosses his phone onto the bed and goes over to Loki on the couch, turning on the X-Box to play Assassins Creed. "All in all," he says, "it's been a pretty damn productive day."

"I concur," Loki says without looking up. "I love kids and I love Mario aaand…" He pauses his game and leans over to kiss Tony's cheek. "I love _you_."

Tony kisses him back. "Lemme know how that works out for you."

Loki rolls his eyes and goes back to Tony's game on Tony's DS. "You are appalling."

Tony smirks, un-pausing his game as well. "I love you, too, Lo'."

"That's more like it."

* * *

End chapter authors notes: just so you know, there are actually no existing orphanages in New York, I found, but…well, I put one there anyway.


	18. Holidays & Hospitals

**18: Holidays and Hospitals**

_3 Weeks and 2 Days Later  
November 26  
Monday…_

Tony expected the rest of the month to be rather boring until Thanksgiving, but he's _very_ far off. Loki informs Tony that he was bored and researched a whole bunch of random Holidays later the night they got back from his orphanage, all throughout the month, so they decided that they would do one of the days for the rest of the month as soon as the school day is over.

Also, it being just shy a day of four weeks, a lot of Loki's injuries have gone away! Both black eyes, the bruised nose, and both bruised ribs are long gone, considering that they were to be gone within five, ten, and fifteen days. The stab wounds are also gone, as they should be, since the board said about two to three weeks. All that's left is the broken rib on his right side that has about three more weeks and the broken carpals that have two to four weeks left. The month is also riddled with trips to the hospital to get casts switched off, stitches taken out, and even a few bandages taken off for good. The doctor says that Loki's broken carpals and ribs should be completely healed up just in time for Christmas.

Tony learned about the group that they had fought against on Halloween as well: everyone was let go except for Amora and Skurge (since they started the whole thing with the Jeep crash—which is completely fixed up now), the pyro guy (something about the blowtorch), and whoever the Raven girl was (apparently she's been in and out the slammer her entire life and this was in violation of her parole or something).

They had missed the first three days, but the fourth of November was King Tut day, so Loki dragged Tony around the nearest museum with an Egyptian mummy display. The fifth is Gunpowder Day, in which Tony, Loki, Clint, Steve, Peggy, and Sharon all go out to the shooting range and pretty much dominate what space they've got there. Tony starts calling Clint "Legolas" and earns a punch on the shoulder, and then he earns another punch on the opposite shoulder (and a lot harder, too) from Peggy when he asks her who her favorite nosy best friend of her boyfriend is.

The sixth is Marooned with a Compass Day, so Tony turns off Jarvis and DUM-E as soon as he wakes up. Needless to say he's late for school, late for three of his classes even _with_ the bells, and he doesn't end up going to bed till two in the morning because Jarvis always tells him when it's midnight. The seventh is Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day, in which Tony and Loki ignore because they don't like nuts. The eighth is Cook Something Bold Day, so Tony cooks random foods together in the fridge to come up with a leftover sirloin steak, cheddar cheese, tomatoes, peppers, and cream cheese to hold it all together. Needless to say, Tony completely forgot that Loki was a vegetarian, so they just ate what Loki made instead: a vegan dish called Chana Masala, which is apparently an Indian staple dish with chickpea curry, garbanzo beans, and a few other things that Tony doesn't want to name, with brown rice on the side. He would have rather had his own dish, but he just sighs and gives it to Clint and Natasha.

The ninth is Chaos Never Dies Day, in which you're supposed to recognize the chaos of school and work in your life, but instead Tony, Loki, Clint, and Natasha all have a day in which they clean up their chaos (being to clean and organize their bedrooms and bathrooms) sort of day before they bunker down with Thor and Bruce over to watch apocalyptic movies and play some zombie games. The tenth is Forget-Me-Not Day, to remember family, friends, and loved ones, in which Loki de`cides he's _not_ ready to go visit the graves of his parents yet and Natasha goes to her father and confirms to herself that they're better off without each other.

The eleventh is Veteran's Day, and since Steve is the only one with anyone he knows who actually _was_ a Veteran, the day is left up to Tony and Steve to do whatever it is they do. They visit the grave of Steve's grandfather first (definitely not the only ones at the cemetery) before Tony treats him to a nice restaurant. The twelve is Chicken Soup for the Soul Day, and according to the book creators it's "... a celebration of who you are, where you've been, where you're going, and who you will be thankful to when you get there!" So Tony gets a really big cake that has "TO THE FUTURE, FROM THE PAST" written across it before they all bunker down and have a Back to the Future marathon

The thirteenth is World Kindness Day, so Tony sits at home playing more zombie games while Loki and Steve go around random nursing homes to give out flowers. The fourteenth is Operating Room Nurse Day, so Steve gets flowers and a card for his mothers main nurse, and he also gets a Sulcorebutia Mentosa (a mini cactus that buds a massive amount of blossoms) to his mothers main doctor, Abraham Erskine. Most people wouldn't want a cactus, but Tony and Steve know the doctor well enough (Steve even more so) and they know that he has a large fondness for cacti, so the gift is perfect.

The fifteenth is Clean Your Fridge Day, so Tony gets together with Loki, Natasha, Clint, and his mom to send the nurse's away so that they can clean it out themselves. Howard comes in a few times, never helping, but just watching from the doorway awkwardly or stealing glances at them laughing their asses off as he gets himself a glass of coffee. Tony can't tell if he wants to help or not, but probably not. He's too dignified for that. The sixteenth is Button Day, so Tony, Loki, Bruce, and Pepper all start a contest to see who can collect the most buttons in one hour with_out_ buying any, in which they just grab them off floors and things around stores. Pepper wins, with twenty-three of them.

The seventeenth is World Peace Day, which is meant to force you to be kind to others and teach younger kids about peace. Naturally they all turn it into a contest: whoever can be the nicest all day wins, and anyone who gives even the tiniest of slipups loses. Needless to say, all of Tony, Natasha, Thor, and Clint lose almost right away. Bruce and Pepper come in soon after them, and Steve and Loki are at it _all day_ until Steve finally slips up when Tony and Clint are purposefully being assholes to both of them to see who cracks first. Tony knew Loki would win anyway, but he had to admit he doubted him for a few minutes around three in the afternoon. As soon as Loki knew he won, though, he punched Clint in the shoulder and let a string of curse words at Thor. Tony knew he loved him for a reason.

The eighteenth is Occult Day, which basically just means to do something mysterious and supernatural. They split themselves up into two groups in which Loki, Natasha, Thor, and Clint all go get their palms read and probably play with some random Ouija board, and Tony, Steve, Bruce, and Pepper all go get their star signs read. The nineteenth is Have A Bad Day Day, which Tony thought meant "make yourself miserable" and wanted to skip that one too, but it actually just means that you're supposed to wish everyone to "have a bad day" instead of "have a good day". It's boring, but it's easy, and some of the odd looks they get are well worth it. The twentieth is Beautiful Day, so they all split themselves up again so that Tony, Steve, Bruce, and Thor all go shopping for something to give to Loki, Peggy, Clint, and Natasha to make them feel beautiful. Loki, Natasha, Pepper, and Clint do the same, but for Tony, Thor, Happy (Thor and Pepper switched so Natasha and Thor wouldn't be together). Thor and Happy's are to make them feel handsome instead of beautiful, though (Tony laughs in the face of straight people).

The twenty-first is False Confession Day, in which everyone confesses to both realistic and absurd things, so basically none of them believe a word anyone else is saying about "hey I did this once" for the entire day. The twenty-second is, of course, Thanksgiving. Usually Tony would ditch his parents (Howard is always away on business this holiday anyway) to go hang out with Steve and his mom, but this year they have it at Tony's place with him, Natasha, Clint, Steve, Maria, and Sarah. Loki goes home to his own family for it, though he's not as happy about is as he could be It's also Bruce and Natasha's birthdays! So, before Thanksgiving dinner, all of Tony, Loki, Steve, Pepper, Clint, Thor, Maria, and Bruce's mother Rebecca show up at Tony's place to throw them a party. There's one really big cake decorated awkwardly in half, Natasha's side red and black with spider decorations and Bruce's side green (grass) and purple (flowers), to which Clint keeps saying Barney and Thor announces it as the Joker. Tony had chuckled and whispered into Steve's ear, "There are two types of people…"

Tony ended up keeping Natasha's dress until now thanks to Clint seeing it first and telling him to do so, so he and Bruce got together to buy her some matching heels and a pair of sexy red fishnet tights (she already has plenty of black ones), and Thor was already going to get her some earrings with a matching necklace, but now he's able to match it to the dress as well. All in all, Tony's pretty glad he bought the thing (his bedspread, on the other hand, is miraculously still in the back of his trunk…). The dress is mostly just black, but it's also got some red splashed in. It's far too short for Tony's taste, but not for Natasha's, and it has no sleeves and instead one of those pieces in which it goes vertically up until wrapping around your neck, and Tony bought a black widow pendant to attach to the neckline. Steve also managed to find some great perfume (no doubt with help from Pepper) and Loki threw together some nail polish and some red and dark silver running spikes for when the track season starts. Tony forgot all about sports.

Tony ordered Bruce a limited addition chemistry set "for the advanced fellow" from Russia, Clint just whispered something into his ear that was no doubt about birthday sex, Thor and Natasha got some crystal growing set probably from the kids section (but Bruce still loved it, not because he already knows how to grow crystals from scratch but because it reminded him of his childhood), more gift cards to anywhere from Pepper, a bunch of money from his mom, and Loki and Steve got together to get him two front row tickets to the nearest showing of the Cirque du Soleil (two so he could bring someone, most likely Clint). Contrary to any belief, Bruce is actually a killer for acrobatics (no wonder he finds Clint hot, right? Natasha'd probably be on his list, too, if she was any more his type).

The next day, Black Friday, is also known as National Adoption Day, in which Loki manages to contact Principle Fury over the break to ask if he can have a carwash to raise money to give to his adoption center, and once Fury says yes he gets _all_ his friends and their own friends to come help him.

"It's going to be brilliant!" Loki had said as Steve drove all of him, Tony, Bruce, Pepper, Natasha, Clint, and Thor to the school. Peggy, Bucky, Sharon, Peter, and Gwen are going to be meeting them there (Happy would come, but he's shopping with his parents). That was to be enough to hold up the signs they made and clean all the cars. "And if we need anybody else we can call up Sif and her Warriors Three! It's Black Friday, after all, there will be cars _everywhere_, and the school is right in the middle of town!"

Loki was right about one thing: _lots of cars_. He thought they'd have enough people at first, but he was sorely mistaken. Everyone was all about spending money and giving to charity, especially, so Thor and Loki both ended up calling over Sif, Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun to help them, who they knew didn't like Black Friday shopping because of how crowded it was. Sharon and Bucky probably usually did, but not this year. About an hour later they were just _barely_ short, so Peter called up Flash, and Tony shrugged and called up Darcy.

"Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?" she had answered.

"Darc' ole girl, it's Tony!"

"Tony, hi! Whatchyuh callin' for?"

"Where are you _right now_?"

"Uh…home, actually. I usually Black Friday shop, but I'm still in a cast and don't really feel like walking around on crutches. Jane stayed behind with me while Erik is out and about. Why?"

"Listen, today is National Adoption Day, and you're adopted and so is Loki so right now he's got this carwash going at our school and we need more people. If you're totally bored you should come over here and we can give you a chair to hold up a sign so one of the sign holders can help us wash stuff. And you can bring Jane if she won't hit me!"

Darcy was silent for a moment before she laughed. "That sounds like fun! How many of there are you right now?"

"Twenty if you and Jane come."

"Wow-wee, you guys are trekkin'! We'll be right over! Wait, where's your school?"

Tony had laughed back before giving her the address and then hanging up and going back to giving his sign holding his full attention. Loki wasn't healed quite enough to washing cars either, so they held different signs together, along with Fandral, Pepper, Gwen, and Sif. Those washing are Bruce, Clint, Bucky, Sharon, Flash, Peter, Hogun, Volstagg, Natasha, Thor, Peggy, and Steve.

When Darcy and Jane showed up, Gwen and Sif went to washing and they took up the holding. The holders were strategically placed in twos, so when Gwen left Pepper's side it was taken by Jane, and when Sif left Fandral's it was taken by Darcy. By the end of the day (or by the time it was far too cold to keep standing outside), Fandral had asked Darcy out on some posh date. Quite the flirt, that man is. Tony's just glad he was able to be an accidental matchmaker for the day. He was the one who told her to go stand with him, after all.

Meeting Jane for real wasn't too terrible, either, considering all their years of science rivalry. After the carwash is all put away and they're warming themselves up in the school, Tony tells the story of why they hated each other, and then a few people asked what some of Jane's entries where, and most of them had to do with storms and supernatural phenomenon's, earning her the nickname "Hurricane" from Clint, shortly followed by "Daredevil" for Darcy (or "Devil" for short) after she got into explaining the insane storms Jane has made her drive into "in the name of science".

The twenty-fourth is blank as far as they can tell, so Tony and Loki just end up having a sort of Calvin and Hobbes day. They sit outside in freezing whether reading comics and drinking hot chocolate, and when they get too cold because they drank everything they run inside to warm up, and then they do it all over again. With a combination of Tony and Loki's comic "collection" they had _plenty_ of Calvin and Hobbes, Garfield, Peanuts, Family Circus, and a number of others to keep them occupied for many hours. The twenty-fifth is National Parfait Day, so Tony and Loki invite over Pepper and Happy to have a sort of double date in which they make homemade ones before watching romantic movies.

The next day is meant to be Shopping Reminder Day, but Tony and Loki don't feel like it, so after school they just sort of…sit around instead.

"This is stupid," Tony mutters, standing up.

Loki frowns up at him. "What is?"

"I've been trying to surprise you with this one thing all month but you're always around and when you're not I'm doing something else so I can't do it!"

Loki laughs. "Well, what is it?"

"How about you go take a shower and you'll see when you get out!"

Loki laughs again and does, so Tony goes down to his car, gets his damn bedspread and the green pillow covers, and then strips his bed before putting all of those onto his bed. He shoves what he can of his old spread into the hamper and takes it and the rest of it to the laundry shoot a floor down, shoving everything in and then going back to his room.

When Loki walks in he just sort of…looks around…not noticing anything for about thirty seconds.

"Oh!" he says, skipping over to the bed. "You got a new comforter set!"

"Yup!" Tony says brightly, getting off of the computer chair and twirling over to sit beside him. "Waaay back on the third, when you were hanging out with Leah—" Loki's phone starts to ring, cutting him off, but he keeps going: "—in the orphanage. Needless to say, we are around each other _far_ too often."

Loki snorts, reaching over to grab his ringing phone. "Even if we _are_ I'm not going to let it change just because…" He trails off, just _staring_ at the number.

"Lo'?" Tony says, waving his hands in front of his eyes. "What's wrong, who is it?"

Loki doesn't answer him. Instead he answers his phone faster than Tony has ever seen anybody answer a phone _ever_: "Loki Asgard speaking," he says politely. His voice is shaking.

Tony scoots closer to him so that he can hear whoever's on the other line. Loki either lets him or doesn't notice.

"Loki?" a small, desperate sounding voice whispers. "Is that really you?"

Loki's entire body seems to collapse in on itself. "It's me, Viki, I swear."

Tony frowns. Isn't that Loki's nickname for Victor?

"Where did you get your shoelaces?" Victor asks

"I got them from the President," Loki says.

Wha—Loki's not even wearing any shoes…

"Oh, Lollipop, it _is_ you! You have to help me, Lolli."

"Help you with what, Viki?"

"Help me get out of here! I just need a ride, Lolli, and I've got it from there. Please, I can't take this anymore. I'm okay now, I know it. People like me know when they're—hey, HEY!" The line goes dead.

Loki keeps holding his phone to his ear for another few seconds before yanking it away and staring at Tony. "He's never run away before," he says in a frantic whisper. "I don't even know why he called me. He's got other friends that still visit him, and…" He sighs, pressing the number nine key on his phone and then calling it.

"You have his friends on _speed dial_?" Tony asks, cocking an eyebrow. What else is he supposed to say? His boyfriend just got a call from his ex-boyfriend that, as far as Tony knows, he never truly got over.

"Heeello?" number nine answers.

"Jus', its Loki."

"Oh. Loki. Damn. What happened?"

"He called from the nearest gas station, but he… I don't know, he was yelling, so I think they got him back already."

Tony blinks at him. He has the number memorized of the nearest gas station, even…?

"Damn. I'll call Van, okay? We'll go check it out and I'll…actually, he called _you_, so you should probably come."

Loki grinds his teeth together. "I'll be there."

"See you soon."

"Bye."

Loki leaps up, shrugging on his sweatshirt. "I gotta go."

"Well, I'm driving you," Tony says, jumping up after him.

"No, Anthony, you don't—"

"Don't tell me I don't get it, Lo'," he says, zipping up his sweatshirt. "It won't matter."

"But you _don't_."

He gives Loki a hard look. "Then you better explain it _thoroughly_."

Loki sighs, nods, grabs Tony's hand, and pulls him quickly after him. As they're driving, the mental hospital address in Tony's GPS, Loki talks:

"Victor was my first love, okay? Those stupid junior year ones where you think you're old enough to really love somebody but you're not. So when he was taken away I nearly died. Nobody knew what to do with me. And then…then he told me to let him go, you know? That's when my suicidal tendencies started. That wasn't the first and only reason, obviously, but it was the trigger. Then…" He smiles, mostly to himself. "Then you came along. By the time I met you, I had just recently gotten over my love for him. So I don't love him. Any feelings are _old_ feelings. It's the thought that we _used_ to be in love and all the things we did together. I still care about him, but not in the same way. There's no romance left. Just the memories."

Tony nods, pulling onto the last road before the hospital. "I don't have any competition, then?" he jokes.

Loki breathes a laugh. "No, you don't. If I had still loved him I wouldn't have gone for you. Natasha thought I was just trying to get over him by going for you, but honestly…" He shakes his head. "I don't _use_ people, and if I did I wouldn't have chosen to put up with _your_ bullshit."

Tony laughs, parking his car. "Good to hear."

"Yes, well, a warning before you meet Jus' and Van… Aside from the call today, none of us have spoken since the day Victor told me to let him go. We all agreed that we would never acknowledge each other again unless it involved Victor because it hurt too much. Even Clint got down in the dumps for a little while. So it may be awkward at first—but knowing Jus', probably not. Speaking of Jus', he's probably going to piss you off at first, but he's really an okay guy. Van, though…" He shakes his head. "He's unique. He's Russian and he'll kick your _ass_ if you make fun of his bird. It's named Bird."

Tony snorts. "Uh, okay, sounds fun."

They walk to the front of the building, wherein Loki's name is instantly called by a voice Tony recognizes as "Jus'" from the phone. He looks like Ben Stein did in the movie Expelled: a nice suit and skater shoes. Plus he's got glasses, an expensive looking watch, and he's closing up the door to a shiny white convertible. Van, who's getting out of the other door, looks pretty much the opposite: a white wife-beater tank top, paint/oil/dirt covered work pants, tattoos everywhere that don't even seem to make any sense, a toothpick sticking out of his mouth, and a white and yellow bird on his shoulder.

"Well, who's _this_?" Jus' says, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet for a moment.

"Tony Stark," Tony says, shaking his hand loosely.

"Son of Stark Industries boss?" Van asks.

"Yeah, Howard Stark," Tony says, taking in the rather thick Russian accent.

Van snorts, saying something in Russian to Jus'.

"Van-Van, baby," Jus' says, patting him on the cheek, "you know I can't understand you when you talk like that."

Van rolls his eyes and starts paying attention to his bird instead.

"I'm Justin Hammer," Jus' says, giving Tony an odd sort of smile. He can't tell if it's nice looking or he's _too_ loose. "This is Ivan Vanko."

"Loki, did you hear of Elaire?" Van asks.

"I…don't even know who that is," Loki says, taking Tony's hand and pulling him towards the doors of the hospital.

"Come on, you gotta remember Scorpia!" Justin says, flabbergasted. "You would always call her Kitten and she would try to gut you."

Loki blushes. "Oh, _that_ Elaire."

They stop talking about it when they get to the front counter, but before Tony can listen in on whatever Loki and Justin are saying to the receptionist, Ivan grabs the back of his shirt and twists him around to glare down at him. "You dating Loki, now?" he asks darkly.

Tony swallows. "Uh, yeah."

"Loki is good boy. Sweet, very caring. You hurt him, you die. I am the only big brudder he let himself have."

Tony frowns. "Wait, you're his brother?"

"It's a figure of speech, pal," Justin says to him, patting him on the back. "He doesn't mean any harm." He grins, leaning in to his ear. "Not unless you earn it."

Tony pushes both of them off of him. "Okay, okay, geez, leave me alone. If anything I've _saved_ him; I'm not suddenly going to turn that around."

They level Tony with dark stares, though Justin's is more of a glittering, "I'm wearing sexy glasses" sort of dark stare, which isn't as effective as he wants it to be.

"You better not," he says.

Loki shows up beside them all then, handing visitors pins to Justin and Ivan before turning to pin one onto Tony. "His visitor minutes have been reduced again," he says quietly, mostly to Justin and Ivan. "Only fifteen minutes."

"We can do this in five," Justin says, pushing his hands into his pockets and starting off. Ivan follows closely behind, and Loki takes Tony's hand again and goes swiftly after them.

They twist through the place like they've been here a hundred times, nodding to the nurse's like they know them and confirming Tony's thoughts when they're acknowledged by some of the better looking patients and nobody gets mad at Ivan for having a bird on his shoulder. Not Loki, though. He gets question looks that as if they know him but don't recognize him, and he just pulls Tony closer and squeezes his hand tighter in hopes that none of them come to a conclusion. Tony matches his pace and wraps an arm safely around Loki's waist, glad that Ivan turns around and sees the act of affection so he doesn't get beat up later.

"Here we are," Justin says. His earlier chipper behavior has all but melted away, and Ivan pats him softly on the back.

"I will go first," he says, knocking on the door.

It's opened within a second by a short man that instantly reminds Tony of a Munchkin. "May I help you?" he asks.

All four of them point to their visitor pins.

"Ah yes, you're the boys. Mr. von Doom is on his way back presently. You're welcome to wait inside if you like. Visitor time is fifteen minutes from the moment you're all in the same room."

The Munchkin closes the door behind them, and Tony finds himself trapped in a padded white room with lots of stuffed animals, blankets, soft blocks, and other padded toys. What sort of insanity does this guy have, anyway? To be in a room like this, with objects like this, and brief bouts of sanity? Tony has no idea what that is.

"He should be right in with Doctor Shmidt," the Munchkin says. "I am his personal assistant, Nurse Zola. If you have any questions, I'll be standing right outside." He exits the room.

Nobody says anything. They just look around a bit.

"I got him that last month," Justin says quietly, pointing to one of the stuffed animals.

Tony leans closer to Loki's ear. "Why is he in here, exactly?" he asks quietly.

"Psychotic depression," Loki whispers back. First it was just depression, and then it began to get gradually worse. The depression almost went away because the psychotic part of it took over."

Justin glares at him. "Is that really the only way you could have explained it?"

"Well it worked, didn't it?"

Tony nods that it did, but they don't care.

"Listen here, _you_," Justin grinds out at Loki. "Just because he _told_ you to move on doesn't mean you _should_ have."

Tony is ready for one of Loki's award winning biting replies to people who are giving him shit, but instead he literally bursts into tears right here. He simply dissolves into a puddle in less than a second.

Tony softly ushers him into his arms right away, glaring intently at Justin. "Nice going," he growls, holding Loki tightly as he wets his shirt with his tears.

Justin glares back. "I don't like you."

"Yeah, well, you're not my favorite person either, so suck it up."

"He is good," Ivan says, resting a hand on Tony's shoulder that he's impressed he doesn't shudder at. The guy has big, dark, rather dirty hands. "Good for Loki."

"No, _Victor_ was good for Loki," Justin growls at him.

Ivan steps up to him to tower slightly over him. "Victor is gone. All we have left is von Doom, and von Doom is almost gone as well. Loki did well in moving on. What wood be true if he had not? Endless hours spent with a man he could never be with. They would both be miserable."

About then is when Loki starts wiping his tears off of his face, so Tony ignores whatever conversation the maybe-maybe not couple are having to take care of his own boyfriend.

"You're okay, yeah?" he whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind Loki's ear. "All better?"

Loki nods. "I'm sorry, Tone, honest. It's been…a long time since I've been here. I've spent far too long in this very room and I… It hurts. It looks almost the exact same as it always did. I'm fine, and I'm sorry."

"Lo'. It's fine. It hurt right at first today, when I didn't understand, but I get it now. I believe you and all that, okay? It's fine. Honestly, I'd do the same thing if I were you. It's alright, okay?"

Loki lets out a shuddering breath. "Yeah, okay, it's fine, okay…" He looks over at Justin and Ivan, who are still having a heated discussion, and then back at Tony. "Want to know a secret?" he whispers.

Tony nods.

Loki leans down to his ear and says, "I love you."

Tony doesn't care where they are or that Justin doesn't like him. Ivan's likes him and he's bigger and that's good enough. He throws his arms around Loki's waist and kisses him hard, ignoring the groan that Justin gives.

"Alright, alright, before we get taken in too," Loki says, pulling away with a warm smile. He turns to the other two. "Are you done acting like a married couple or should we kick you out before he gets here?"

"We are done," Ivan says, patting Justin on the top of the head.

Tony still can't tell if they're dating or not. It would make sense. One big happy gay family and all that.

They stand around for a few more minutes, awkwardly looking around and glaring at each other, before the door his opened to reveal three men: the Munchkin, a man with red skin (not _red_ red, but just…"not quite as normal as a white person would be" red), and the third is who Tony instantly places as Victor von Doom, Loki and Clint's ex-boyfriend. He's _tall_, with brown eyes and short brown hair, with the eyes that only gypsies have (Tony has no idea how he knows that, but he can just tell). He's in all white, of course, with his arms folded together in front of him.

He doesn't see the four of them at first, just giving the red man (Doctor Shmidt, was it? Now that's a German name if Tony ever knew one) a dark glare as he says a few words to him. Then he gives Tony and the other three a nod before he and Nurse Zola walk out.

"Victor?" Ivan says quietly.

Victor whirls around, smiling so brightly that it rivals Baldur. "Loki!" he says, leaping forward and hugging him tightly.

Loki gives Tony an apologetic smile as he hugs him back. "Hey, Viki," he says, patting his back. He pulls away, taking a step towards Tony. "Do you remember calling me?"

Victor snorts, glaring over at the door before looking back. "Of course I remember. You didn't come."

"I couldn't because they took you back."

"Did you even try?"

"I'm here now, aren't I?"

Victor's glare softens. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

"You shouldn't have done that, Viki," Justin says, wagging a finger at him. "They'll just keep you in here longer."

He snorts again. "They'll keep me in here anyway. It doesn't matter what I do."

Justin sighs and looks at Ivan. "Your turn."

Ivan starts to rattle off in Russian, and Victor groans before replying in…not Russian.

"Um…" Tony whispers to Loki.

"It's Latvian," Loki says to him. "He was born and raised in Latvia."

"Wow. Ivan and Natasha are Russian, Victor's Latvian, and half of the people that were in the cell with me were of Norse descent. You've got some pretty diverse friends, Lo'."

Victor snaps his head over from the heated discussion with Ivan to stare at Tony. "Who are you?"

Loki elbows him and Justin both to not talk. "This is Tony Stark," he says. "We go to school together."

Victor gives a terse smile. "I told you I'm better, Lolli. I'm not stupid. Thank you for moving on like I told you too."

Loki blushes a bit. "You're…you're glad?"

"I was normal when I told you to, wasn't I? I remember that, you know. I really don't think I should be in a place like this. A recuperation hospital, maybe, but this?" He looks around, glaring down at his soft toys and the padded walls and his clothes. "This is too much."

Loki nods. "I know it is. But the only way you're going to get out of it is if you _act_ like you're better. You're six month release evaluation isn't for another two more months, so you have to make it that far or you'll _never_ get out of here."

He sighs. "I know, I know, I just… I want to get out of here _now_."

"Are you allowed to request an early evaluation yet?"

"After the stunt I just pulled?" He snorts. "Yeah right."

Loki gives a sad smile. "Of course. How was the three month physical checkup?"

Victor shudders. "In complete disregard of my privacy and personal space, as usual."

Loki pinches the bridge of his nose. "I swear to everything holy, if they ignore my letter of complaint again..."

Victor shrugs. "It's alright, I'll get over it."

The next few short minutes are not as bad/awkward as Tony thought they would be, but they do seem _far_ too short. As they're saying their goodbyes and walking out, Tony going out last, a hand rests on his shoulder.

"You're lucky," Victor says quietly to him. "I hope you know that."

Tony blinks at him a moment before giving a smile. "I know he meant a lot to you."

He gives a sad smile. "He meant everything to me. Still does. So treat him right."

Tony suddenly has an idea both terrible and brilliant. "I can get you out of here," he says, almost without thinking.

Victor frowns. "What do you mean?"

"My father owns Stark Industries. We're rich. I can get you out of here, or at the very least bump up your evaluation."

Victor stares at him. It looks like he's trying to say something, but he doesn't get to, because Tony is pulled out by the Munchkin. The door closes tightly before Victor can even nod, and the Munchkin gives him a dark look.

"Only fifteen minutes is allowed, Mr. Stark," he says, motioning for him to go. "Off you go."

Tony runs ahead towards Loki, Justin, and Ivan, taking Loki's hand. As soon as they've given their pins back and they're outside, Tony speaks:

"I can get him out, if you want."

Justin and Ivan just _stare_ at him, but Loki winces. "Not yet," he says. "Wait a few more weeks."

Justin frowns. "Why not?"

"What if it's just a long bout of sanity, Jus'?" he says. "What if he hasn't changed at all? If we visit him periodically and it sticks, then he's fine again. But if he's not, then…we can't bring him back into the world. We can't."

"You said yourself this place was too harsh on him," Tony says. "Why don't I just get him out and then we bring him to a place not so bad?"

Loki tries to hide his grimace but fails miserably. "_No_," he growls, accepting that everybody saw his look of pain. "Leave him in there until he's _for sure_ better."

Justin frowns. "Loki, what is _wrong_ with you? He's our friend, we should be helping him!"

Loki shakes his head frantically and turns around, walking off to Tony's car without a word.

Justin groans angrily before turning to Tony. "_You're_ his new boyfriend, _you_ go talk to him."

Tony shakes his head. "I'll talk to him, but I'm not going to push it. If Loki doesn't want him out there's got to be a reason. He's not the type of person that just forces somebody to stay in a place they hate. You guys come back and visit him periodically, like he said, and _then_ we'll talk."

Justin starts to snap at him, but Ivan puts a hand over his mouth. "Understood," he says. "Go to Loki, now."

Tony nods, turning around and going towards his car. "It was nice meeting you guys, I guess. See you around."

Loki is standing against the locked car with his arms tightly crossed, and instead of unlocking it right away Tony goes around to the other side and levels Loki with a star.

"What?" Loki snaps.

Tony just tilts his head slightly.

Loki sighs, dropping his arms. "Unlock the car and I'll tell you."

As soon as they're on their way, Loki lets out a shuddering sigh. "Remember when I told you that I wasn't there when Victor really lost it?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah," Tony says. "Vaguely, but enough."

"I lied."

Tony is silent for a moment. "Go on," he says eventually.

"I was the _only_ on there. I'm the one that called the hospital in the first place. He doesn't remember it. I called Justin and Ivan shortly after, tears spilling down my face in the waiting room for the hospital, and they came right away. They believed everything, mostly because Victor had never been fully there in the first place, what with his depression and all that."

"Do you know when and why his depression started?" Tony asks quietly.

"He was eight. His parents were Latvian gypsies, and he ran away because nobody wanted him. He's brilliant. Supported himself since he was eight, and even before that he was mostly on his own. That's when it started, and then it…progressed. Not for any specific reason, really. It just got worse. Depression can do that to you. Make you hate yourself in ways nothing else can…" He sighs. "You can't get him out of there, Tony. Not yet. Not until I _know_ he's okay."

"I understand, Lo'. I told Justin and Ivan to check on him every once in a while. We'll know when he's alright."

"I can't tell you what happened. Not yet."

"That's alright. Take your time." He reaches over and takes Loki's hand. "Just breathe."

Loki's eyes suddenly light up and he snaps his head over to Tony. "I know what I want to do today," he says.

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "What?"

"The graves. We can go see their graves."

Tony smiles. "You're sure you want to drive four hours to Clinton on a school night?"

"Let's not go to school tomorrow," Loki says with a bright smile, leaning over until he's just an inch or so from Tony's face even though Tony can't look at him because he's driving. "Just us for a couple days. We'll go down tonight, stay up all night doing whatever it is we do, finally go to sleep at six in the morning for however long we feel like, visit them, and then come home."

Tony laughs warmly, pushing him back down in his seat. "Do you wanna wing it or go pack?"

"Just wing it," Loki says, nearly bouncing out of his seat. "Let's run away for the night and not tell a soul. We'll leave our phones on silent in the trunk."

Tony grins. "Deal. I always keep a thousand dollars in emergency money somewhere in my car, plus the two hundred I've got in my wallet and my credit card. We'll be set _easy_ for just one night."

Loki gives the most beautiful smile that Tony has ever seen in his life. "And we'll stop at rest stops on the way like they do in road trips? And we can sleep in a shitty motel where the 'No Vacancy' sign is always flickering on and off?"

Tony smiles and nods.

Loki kisses him full on the lips. "Pull over."

He does, and Loki snatches both their phones, turns them off, and gets out to put them in the trunk.

And thus continues the adventure of Mellow and Iron Man.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: 1. this chapter title is one) all of the holidays that they went through and two) the mental hospital that Victor is a patient at. His Doctor, Johann Shmidt, and the doctors little nurse dude, Arnim Zola, are actually the two main villains in Captain America, I just didn't want to have a "Doctor Hydra" to make it obvious or whatever.

2. Also, here's the link to all of the websites that I stole holidays from:.

3. And Victor being from Latvia? He's actually from Latveria, which is a fictional place that Marvel thought up. I just wanted it to be real so he could speak a different language or whatever. Haha.

4. Okay so Bruce and Natasha's birthdays are not _really_ in November, but Mark Ruffalo and Scarlett Johansson's are! So I just used their birthdays since I couldn't find what there's were anywhere. Haha.

5. NO MORE HOSPITALS OF ANY SORT I SWEAR.


	19. Together Let (dotdotdot)

**19: Together Let's…**

_November 26  
Monday…_

Tony's never driven for two hours straight before, but he manages. The only reason he stops is because Loki eventually has to go to the bathroom, and he might as well go too, so they pull off at the next rest stop. He filled up on gas about twenty minutes ago.

"Can I buy a coffee?" Loki asks, pointing over to the little window of a building between all the restrooms. You don't actually have to pay for it, they just take donations, but it's pretty rude to just grab some cookies and go.

Tony looks at his watch to see that it's about seven-fifteen, four hours after school got out. "How about we get off at the next real exit to stop for dinner instead?" he asks, looking up and instantly letting his eyes draw over to a dad rolling around on the wet grass with four children. Another man is sitting in a wheelchair by a picnic table and is simply watching. Tony can't tell if they're a gay couple or if they're just two friends hanging out with their kids, their wives off doing whatever else.

"Even better," Loki says absentmindedly, watching them as well.

The next thing Tony knows is that he's standing by himself, and Loki is sitting down at the picnic table beside the man in the wheelchair.

"Hi," he hears him say to him. "I'm Loki. Cold?"

The man, bald, gives a chattering smile. "Who wouldn't be in this weather? November should _not_ be this cold yet. I'm Charles."

Loki smiles and points over at Tony. "I'm Loki, and that's my boyfriend, Anthony. Are all these kids yours?"

Charles gives Loki a bright smile before waving over at Tony, who takes that as his cue to go over, so he does his shuffling and sits down beside Loki, cuddling up beside him. He doesn't care _if_ the two men are just friends, he's cold.

"Yes, they're all adopted between me and my husband Erik," Charles says.

"Hi!" the other man calls as he rolls passed them. "Nice to meet you!"

"HIIII!" the three oldest looking children echo, and the smallest one gives an embarrassed look before yelling it as well.

Charles and Loki laugh while Tony just wraps his arms around Loki's waist and buries his face down against his side. He practically _hears_ Loki roll his eyes as he puts an arm around him. Tony giggles, peeking out just enough to see Erik and the kids.

"What are their names?" Loki asks.

"Scott is the oldest boy at nine, Jean is our oldest girl at seven, Ororo loves this sort of weather and is five, and Logan is two and in dire need of a fingernail trim."

"Oh, Charles, he's _fine_," Erik says as he rolls passed them again.

"HE'S FINE, DADDY!" the three oldest echo. Logan launches at Erik through the air, yelling his agreement.

Tony yawns as Loki and Charles laugh, eyelids drooping. He really shouldn't drive for so long. It's not even that late, but…after today? Well, there were some tough things that happened today. Maybe he'll…nah.

The next thing Tony knows is that his cheek is being patted by Loki, and he frowns up at him. "Where am I?"

"You fell asleep on me and then fell off the bench," Loki says, pushing his fingers through Tony's hair. "I think _I'll_ be driving for the next few hours."

Tony laughs. "Just two."

Then he notices the _other_ six people staring down at him.

"Oh," he says, shrinking towards Loki a little bit. "Hello."

"HELLO!" the oldest three yell, Logan coming in strong about a second too late. How old is he? Two? He's adorable.

Loki helps Tony back onto the bench, attempting to dry his clothes from the grass.

"Where are you two headed?" Erik asks, standing beside Charles in his wheelchair, a hand absentmindedly rubbing at his back.

"Clinton," Tony says around a yawn.

"On a week day?" Erik asks, tilting his head a little. "How old are you both?"

"Seventeen," he and Loki say at once.

Erik laughs, bending down to kiss the top of Charles' head. "I remember when _we_ used to skip school together.

Charles sighs. "Not in front of the children, love. They'll get ideas."

"Oh, they'll be _fine_. How long have you been driving?" he asks.

"About two hours," Loki says. "We still have two more to go after we stop for food."

"What're you going all the way out there for?"

Tony opens his mouth to speak, but he shuts it before he does, looking over at Loki.

Loki sighs. "We're going to meet my parents," he says.

Charles smiles sadly at him, like he somehow knows they'll be meeting them at a cemetery, but Erik is oblivious and says brightly, "I'm sure they'll be thrilled to see you after driving four hours!"

Charles motions for him to be quiet. "If you ever need to talk," he says, pulling a card out of his pocket, "don't hesitate to call."

Tony and Erik shares confused looks before smirking at each other just for the fact that they both made eye contact while making the same face.

Loki takes it with a smile. "Thank you, Mr.…" He looks down at the card. "Lehnsherr. Erik and Charles Lehnsherr. Lovely." He takes Tony's hand and stands. "Come along, Anthony."

Tony frowns, letting himself be pulled along. "But I was going to—"

"Some other time, yeah?"

Tony sighs, walking a little faster to link their arms together. "Yeah, alright."

He barely hears the Lehnsherr's behind them, and he's sure Loki does, too: "Reminds me of a few years back," Erik says as one of the children squeal some sort of excitement.

Charles laughs. "A _few_?"

**XxX**

_November 26  
Monday…_

Tony almost falls asleep on the way to dinner, and the fact that Lana Del Ray is playing on CD and Loki reached over to rub at his leg did nothing to help. After dinner, though, when they're on their way again, Tony really does fall asleep, and the only reason Loki wakes him up is because he just pulled off the first Clinton exit.

"Wake up, hun," Loki says. "I have no idea where I'm going."

"I dunno either," Tony says, rubbing at his eyes. "Go to the first shitty looking hotel you see and then we'll find a map in the morning. What time is it?"

"Eleven-thirty-four."

Tony is finally fully awake when Loki parks, looking around and noticing with a laugh that the hotel sign is indeed how Loki wanted it. The "O" in "NO" is out and the only part of "VACANCY" is "ANCY".

"It's perfect," he says, smiling over at Loki.

Loki smiles back. "I know. There's one in every town."

It takes about fifteen minutes to get a room on the bottom floor, Tony's car right outside of their door. It reminds him a lot of the movie "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles", except that his car is completely intact and it's not cold enough to snow quite yet.

Tony flops onto the bed while Loki spins around the room and says, "Only one bed, a tiny little bathroom, a shitty chair with an even shittier desk, and no windows! Oh, Anthony, it's _wonderful_." He flops over on top of Tony, cuddling down on top of him.

Tony breathes a laugh, turning his head so it's sideways instead of smashed into the pillow. "I'm sorry I left you alone," he says.

"You mean when you were sleeping?"

"Yeah."

"You've had a long day, babe. School, my old life, my sort of…breakdown." He sighs. "I'm sorry that I'm so broken."

"No, no, no, get up," Tony says, trying to roll over.

Loki gets off just long enough for Tony to roll over before lying back on top of him.

"You're _not_ broken, remember?" Tony says, wrapping one arm around Loki's back and placing the hand of the other arm against his cheek. "You said you're not suicidal anymore, you've got a stable home with me and even some _other_ of your favorite people, and like…three-thousand other things. You just said it was your _old_ life, right? You had your sort of breakdown because of your _old_ life. You're not broken, Loki. You _were_ broken."

Loki opens his mouth to talk, but Tony continues before he can:

"No, no, shh, I'm not done. No matter what's happened today, where are you now? You're here, with me, on a rickety hotel bed, four hours away from where we should be, at eleven-forty-whatever in the evening, with our phones turned off in the trunk of a car. I want you to forget about where you were four hours ago and spend tonight with me, alright? Forget about living with Natasha and Clint, about their boyfriends, about our best friends, and about anybody else we left behind there. We don't have any homework—we don't even go to school. We're _here_, and I love you, alright? Let's keep it that way. We don't know anybody here and they don't know us. The only thing we're going to do that will show the world who we are is when we visit your parents' graves. Do you understand me, Lo'? _We're starting over_. We have money and practically no plan of action. It's going to be perfect."

Loki blinks at him for a moment before licking his lips and then blinking some more. Tony just keeps smiling at him, happy to let him take his time.

"Anthony?" he whispers at length, pupils nearly shaking.

"Yeah?" Tony replies back quietly.

He opens his mouth to speak before closing it, biting his bottom lip, and eventually just kissing Tony softly. Softly and slowly, with his hands wrapped around his neck and Tony's hand still on his cheek and his arm wrapped tightly around his back.

Tony's never made love before. He's had sex before, and he's been in love with the person he's having sex with before, and they've always been intimate…but this time? This time is something else. Tony's never wanted somebody so much but still wanted to go slow so bad. He wants perfection, and that's what this is. Making love is when you know you can't go back from what you've been through.

Tony never wants to. He wants Loki's nails on his back and his ass against his hips and he wants his hands against every inch of Loki's skin and he never ever wants to let him go. It's not that he wants _this_ moment to last forever, he just wants Loki to last forever. Making love wouldn't be as beautiful if it lasted forever, and who doesn't want some rough sex or a quick fuck every now and again?

Right now, though, everything is perfect.

**XxX**

_November 27  
Tuesday…_

Loki falls asleep afterwards, cuddle up against Tony's side—who _doesn't_ sleep since he already took a nap in the car. He doesn't know how long he's lying there, but Loki's moved around enough that he's no longer touching Tony at all.

Tony always thought that watching somebody sleep would be _boring_, but the past whatever amount of time that Loki's been asleep has been mesmerizing. The way Loki's eyelids flutter as he dreams, or the way his lips part when he's pulling in a deeper breath, and the way his hair falls differently around his neck if he turns his head. To be honest, he probably needs a haircut, but that's okay because Tony probably needs one too. Maybe they'll be able to get one while they're down here.

Tony sighs, resisting the urge to kiss Loki's forehead in fear of waking him up. He sure wishes he had a camera right now… He could—wait! He _does_ have one! The one he used to get evidence for the big fight on Halloween is still in the car glove compartment so that Phillips wouldn't take it, and he never got around to going through them at all.

Tony gets out of the bed as slowly as he can, throws on his underwear and jeans, and then exits the room as quietly as possible. It's _freezing_ out, so he grabs the camera out of the glove box as fast as he can, going back into the room and locking it behind him.

Loki's still fast asleep, and maybe the lighting sucks, but Tony's camera has a flash and the picture can still be…well, what? Still be used as his computer screensaver? Still be used as useless blackmail? Still be used to put into a scrapbook?

Tony smiles, clicking through the photos he's already got, sitting down on the cheap chair in front of the even cheaper desk. He's got all sorts of stuff in here. Drunk Bruce, high Clint, Natasha trying to block the lens of herself wrapped in a towel after getting out of the shower, Clint dressed up all posh with his pipe in his mouth, one Phil must of somehow taken of Tony and Loki playing Kirby, with Tony in Loki's shirt and Loki upside down in Tony's.

He smiles again. That was the first time. Hell, it seems like _years_ ago…

That's it. He'll make a scrapbook. How lame is that? What is he, some middle-aged woman who's trying to create a fun way to remember her children? Well…they could be Tony's children. More appropriately, though, he's _their_ child. Pepper's, specifically, which means Happy is his dad and he should probably get to know him a little better. So…Steve, Bruce, and Thor are his uncles, Clint is his big brother, Natasha is his little sister, Maria and Howard are his grandparents, and Loki is…

He looks up from the camera and over to his boyfriend asleep on the bed. He could be a lot of things if he's helping to take care of him…but boyfriend works, to be honest. Boyfriends take care of each other. That's why Tony fluffed the blanket out over him all the way after he took his couple pictures, and why he didn't kiss him so he wouldn't wake him up after driving two hours that was instantly followed by amazing sex. That's why they're here in the first place. Tony is protecting his boyfriend.

Because Tony's in love.

Grinning, Tony grabs the little notepad and pen that all hotel rooms come with and proceeds to make a list:

_Together Let's…  
__1. Have sex in a closet  
2. Kiss in the rain  
3. Create a scrapbook  
4. Drive somewhere unknown and spend the entire day being somebody we're not  
5. Slow dance  
6. Attend some classy ass ball  
7. Graffiti something somewhere everybody will see it (but don't get caught!)  
8. Finger-paint a masterpiece…on each other…with chocolate syrup and whip cream  
9. Skinny dip  
10. Take a bubble bath  
11. Carve our names into a tree  
12. Get matching sweaters or stupid "I'm not gay but my boyfriend is" t-shirts  
13. Try shawarma. What the fuck is shawarma? I read it somewhere back home.  
14. Have a huge ass sleepover, complete with nail painting and pillow fights_

Then he crosses off the first one, because lists are so much easier if you've already started them.

He smiles down at it, leaving it there as he strips off his jeans and boxers before crawling back into bed. As he earlier feared, Loki stirs.

"Mmm, baby?" he mumbles, rolling over. "What is it?"

"Nothing, Lo'," Tony whispers, taking him into his arms. "Go back to bed."

He's asleep again instantly, and Tony just can't help it. He kisses Loki's forehead before slipping off as well.

**XxX**

_November 27  
Tuesday…_

Tony wakes up the next morning to Loki nuzzling against his neck and his fingers dancing across his chest, a low hum coming from his throat. Tony instantly rolls over and pulls him straight into a kiss, pulling him hard against him.

Loki giggles, batting him away, and sits up beside him. "Good morning," he says, leaning down to kiss him softly. He swings a leg up and straddles Tony's waist, smiling brightly down at him.

Tony laughs, rubbing his hands down Loki's legs. "Morning yourself. I take it you slept well?"

Loki nods as he stretches, arms up in the air and chest puffed out.

And Tony just can't help it.

He snaps up and tickles at his armpits, earning a scream to rival them all. Hopefully it's not too early (there's no clock in here) so that everybody in the rooms around them is asleep and wakes up…

"Oh, you _bastard_!" Loki yells when he can breathe—from the floor, where he kicked himself off so he could escape. "I am never waking up with you _again_!"

Tony laughs at him, rolling over to the edge of the bed. "Will you call it even if I let you blow on my stomach?"

Loki blinks up at him for about six seconds. "Promise?" he whispers.

Tony whimpers a little bit and pulls away. "Maybe not…"

Loki smirks. "Too late. On your back."

Tony groans, but does so, keeping his eyes on Loki as he crawls back onto the bed.

"Shut 'em," he says, pushing the blankets completely off of Tony.

Tony sighs, but does, balling his hands into fists at his sides. "Don't hurt me," he says.

"Mmm, okay…" Loki says absentmindedly.

Tony waits for a few seconds for the tickling sensation on his stomach, but instead he's sitting up faster than he ever has in his entire life. "Oh, wow," he says in a sort of breathy moan, looking down at the way Loki's tongue traces across the vein of his cock. "You can_not_ do that, Lo', good lord."

Loki just hums a laugh as he takes him down to the root, and hell, this is what Tony means when he doesn't want making love to last forever. He just wants _Loki_.

"That was totally amazing," Tony says after Loki crawls up him and kisses him hard, having cleaned up Tony with a simple perfect swallow. "But I am absolutely terrified as to when you are _actually_ going to get me back."

Loki giggles, sitting back on top of him like he was in the first place. "What are we going to do today?" he asks innocently.

Tony grins at him. "I _happen_ to have made a list, actually…"

Loki snorts. "When?"

"Last night, after you fell asleep. I couldn't sleep right away so I got my camera out of the car and took some pictures of you for the scrapbook I've decided to make. There's also a plethora of other things to do on the desk." He points, to which Loki turns around to see the pad with Tony's terrible handwriting scribbled across it. The camera is sitting beside it.

Loki clambers off of him and grabs the camera before coming back and flopping down beside him. "A _scrapbook_?" he asks with a condescending look. "What are you, some old housewife?"

Tony smiles and rubs their noses against each other. "Exactly what I asked myself."

The instant Tony pulls back there's a large flash.

"Oh _wow_," he says, squeezing his eyes shut. "I was _not_ ready for that."

"Ouch, me neither," Loki mutters. Then he bursts into laughter, and Tony quick opens his eyes to laugh with him at the ridiculousness of their faces at the bright light. "That better go into it," Loki says, continuing to click through the other photos.

"It definitely will. I'll make sections of the whole thing. One part that our friends can be in, one with whatever hot poses I can think up to put you in—"

"I've always wanted to be a model," Loki replies absentmindedly, going along with Tony's section ideas.

"—and another of our adventures here!" He frowns. "What should we _label_ it? I mean, the first can be 'Friends' and the other 'Sexy', but this? 'Running Away'? 'The Adventures of Mellow and Iron Man'?"

"That can be the title of the entire thing," Loki says still going through photos. Tony honestly didn't know he had that many on there. He only got a little ways through them last night. "Let's call this… 'Starting Over'," he says quietly.

Tony kisses him lightly on the cheek. "Anything you say, love. Shower?"

"As soon as I'm done going through all of thes—good lord, is that Pepper?"

Tony quick looks at the camera. "Oh. Um. Yes. I didn't know that was still there. I thought I deleted it last year. I only started using this thing a lot after meeting all of you new friends…"

Loki looks over at him with his nose wrinkled up. "You took a picture of her giving you a blow job?"

"Well,, we never had actual sex that I could take a picture of. I had to have _something_ to jack off to." He rolls away and sits up over the edge of the bed, stretching his arms up. "You can delete it now. I haven't even thought about it since she and I broke up."

Loki is silent.

Tony turns around to ask him if he's honestly offended, but he's instead yanked back onto the bed into an overpowering kiss that has him gaping for more.

"I want our _own_," he says into Tony's ear, rubbing a hand slowly down Tony's back. "I want the entire 'Sexy' section _full_ of your mouth around my cock and you buried inside of me." He nips at his earlobe. "After a shower, of course."

Tony lets out an almost feral growl, pushing Loki down onto his back. "I don't _think_ so," he says, pinning him. "I won't be able to wait that long."

Loki grins. "Then by all means," he says, giving a cocky half-grin. "_Ravish me_."

Another reason Tony doesn't want making love to last forever. Rough sex. Enough said.

They don't have any lube, but that's okay, because they have plenty of saliva. They almost forget to actually take any pictures some of the time, but Loki did manage to turn the flash down while Tony was stretching him. Tony doesn't let Loki come in his mouth, but he does make sure Loki gets a few good pictures, Tony winking and even holding up a peace sign in one of them. By the time they get to the actual sex, though, they're far too distracted to take regular timed pictures, so Tony just quick takes one of the first few moments of the link before shoving the camera onto the nightstand. He really wants to be able to capture the way Loki's cock bobs between their stomachs or the way he's panting beneath him, but he'll just have to memorize them instead.

"Okay," Loki pants as Tony lies on top of him, rubbing absentmindedly at his back with his hands. "_Now_ we shower."

"Yeah," Tony pants back, fingers tracing down one of his arms. "Good idea."

They end up lying there for a few more minutes before they force themselves to get up and get clean, too recently well-sated to do anything sexual under the water. They simply help soap each other down and Tony almost falls asleep when Loki shampoos his hair.

"I haven't look at the list yet," Loki says as they exit the bathroom, Tony using his towel to rub at his hair while Loki has just wrapped his up over his head. His hair's long enough for it to be effective, after all.

"Go right ahead, then," Tony says, patting his ass as he goes by.

Loki smirks at him. "We'll have to do another shoot later," he says, picking up the pad. "Ones that we're not actually touching each other. I want to see _you_ on your hands and knees for once."

Tony gives a smirk back. "Good luck getting' me down there."

Loki just rolls his eyes, looking down at the paper. "You honestly put down 'kiss in the rain'?" he asks instantly.

Tony shrugs, tossing the towel aside and going around collecting his clothes. He doesn't really care about wearing the same things, but they'll probably end up going shopping for some things anyway. More proof they've been here and all that.

"How _isn't_ that the first thing that comes to your head?"

"I don't like rain."

"Well, if we get caught in it then we'll do it, but we're not going to get up from inside if it suddenly starts."

"Ugh, wet." He goes back to reading. "We're sort of already doing number five, aren't we?"

"Which one is that again?"

"Go somewhere unknown and pretend we're somebody else."

"Yeah, kind of."

"So if anybody asks, we're not who we say we are. Can I be Sid?"

Tony realizes something. "What's your middle name?"

Loki laughs. "Don't make fun of it, okay? It's Gudrun, which is Norse for 'god's secret lore'. Obviously my real mother chose it, since she knew I was a secret."

Tony nods. "Alright. Sid." He frowns. "_Sid_?"

"Okay, okay, _you_ can be Sid and _I'll_ be Andy."

Tony blinks at him. "Are you naming us after Toy Story characters?"

Loki giggles a little. "Please?"

Tony laughs, pulling him in for a kiss. "Alright, yeah. You be Andy. I'd be a better Sid anyway, since I do the experimenting."

Loki nods, going back to the list. "Mmm, whip cream sounds awesome right now…but I don't think we should _graffiti_ anything." He grabs a pen and scribbles it out. "It's too cold to swim…" He scribbles skinny dipping out too. "We could definitely take a bubble bath, though. Not here. It's too small."

"Alright, alright, I get it," Tony says, snatching up the list. "My ideas stink, thanks."

Loki rolls his eyes, snatching it back. "Shut up and let me finish reading this." He scans it. "I think we should get matching sweaters _and_ the t-shirts. Also shawarma is disgusting and I refuse." He scribbles it out. He smiles. "Alright, all set."

Tony laughs, tearing off the paper and folding it up to tuck it into his pocket. "What's say we have ice cream for breakfast and then go shopping? I feel like different clothes."

Loki laughs, hugging Tony around his neck. "Sounds perfect."

* * *

End chapter authors notes: yes, Sid and Andy. I'm having Toy Story withdrawals XD I've actually got a Sid/Andy fic on my computer… It jumps around a lot and Andy's really depressed because both of his parents die and Sid's totally awesome now but he's obsessed with Monsters Inc. aaand I don't know I must have been on drugs when I wrote it whatever.

Also, Charles and Erik aren't as young as they were in First Class, but not as old as they were in the original. Picture them, just…I don't know, in their early forties or something.


	20. We'll Never Come Back

**20: We'll Never Come Back**

_November 27  
Tuesday…_

Tony and Loki get a map from the front desk before setting off, bundling up in what little clothes they have.

"I have no idea where I'm going," Tony mutters as Loki uses his camera to snap a picture of him scowling at the windshield. "Hey, excuse you." He doesn't give Loki enough time to not apologize. "I can't believe I don't have Jarvis integrated into my car yet. I can't even use the GPS on my phone because it's in the trunk."

Loki points ahead of them. "Park. We're tourists, remember? We ask around."

Tony quick parallel parks and feeds the meter, then takes Loki's hand in one of his and holds the camera in the other. "You don't think they're going to call the police on us, do you? Everyone at home, I mean, about us 'missing'."

Loki shakes his head. "Natasha, Clint, Thor, and I have had a plan for years if one of us disappears. They'll call Justin or Ivan by lunch, and as soon as they say I saw them yesterday they'll know we're not in any trouble. Not to mention that I've got you now, so it's twice as likely that I would have ditched. As soon as they talk to Justin or Ivan they'll tell Steve and the others not to worry, too."

Tony nods, locking the car.

They ask the first person they see where the nearest ice cream is, and they point them to a place right across the street.

"Bonomo's?" Tony asks as soon as the woman is gone, him and Loki quick jaywalking. "That cannot be English." He snaps a picture of the sign above them.

Loki just shrugs as they go inside. They get a banana split to share (which Tony also takes a picture of; he's glad he never got into Instragram), because how many people have _actually_ had one before? Well, now Sid and Andy have, so there.

They end up getting an employee to help them after that, getting them to circle a whole bunch of places on the map for them. The cemetery, a nice diner, a grocery store, a McDonald's (every town's got one)…even a florist and a pottery place, among other random things Tony and Loki will maybe or maybe not do. Maybe they won't get to go ice-skating or play old video games at an arcade or even make a Build-A-Bear while they're here, but they'll be able to get flowers, paint a ceramic dish, buy random jewelry, get professional photos taken, and get their hair cut.

"Should we…make a list of what we want to do?" Tony asks.

"There is no possible way that we actually have time to do all of this," Loki says. "We have to make sure to set aside at _least_ four hours so we can get back home with enough time to sleep for school tomorrow."

Tony suddenly gets a terrible idea. "Let's not go back, Andy."

Loki snorts. "Sid, we have to go _back_."

"Not today we don't."

Loki blinks steadily at him. "How long are you thinking about?"

"As long as it takes us to do all of this shit."

Loki nods in thought. "Alright," he says at length. "Sounds like a plan. Or, sort of a plan…"

Tony shrugs. "Any plan is a plan." He folds up the map. "I know what we're doing _first_, though."

Loki tilts his head. "And what's that, Sid?"

Tony grins and snaps a picture of the cute look on his face. "You and I, my dear Andy, are going to pay a visit to the College Barber Shop."

Loki smiles. "Now _that's_ a plan. Can we get the professional pictures done after?"

"No, no, I have a better idea. It'll be perfect. Don't move, I'll write it down."

Loki gives a good natured eye roll and snaps a few pictures of Tony as he writes. "Take your time."

Tony pulls out the slip of hotel paper he wrote the other list on and flips it over, grabbing the pen the waiter left behind so Tony could sign the recipe he got after using his credit card to pay.

"Here," he says when finished, pushing it over to Loki. "We can take as long as we want with each thing since we have all the time in the world. One through five has to be today and in order, but all the rest we can mix up however."

Loki nods, reading over the list. Tony's been really into lists this trip…

"_Together Let's…" Part II  
__1. Have ice cream for breakfast  
__2. College Barber Shop  
3. Clinton Jewelers  
4. Norma's Best Blooms  
5. Haile Fine Photography  
6. Clinton Pottery  
7. College Street Café and Art Studio  
8. Nice 'N Easy Grocery  
9. Time Again Antiques  
10. CVS Pharmacy  
11. The Village Crossing  
12. McDonald's  
13. Nola's and/or Charlie's Place  
14. Wellin Museum of Art  
15. Sunset Hill Cemetery_

Loki laughs. "What, you want us holding a bouquet during this?"

Tony laughs too. "No, just something behind an ear. Like…I don't know, a rose or a daisy or something stupid."

Loki smiles, looking down at his fingernails. "I'll wear a rose if you buy me a bottle of black fingernail polish. Mine is almost completely chipped and I didn't bring any with me."

Tony grins. "Deal."

"Why would we need to go to the pharmacy?" he asks a moment later.

Tony shrugs. "Advil. Your polish. I don't know, maybe we'll need something by then."

Loki nods. "Do we really have to go to McDonald's? I know we're in an obscure town, but it's not as impressive as you want it to be."

Tony lolls his tongue out. "Anything else, your highness?"

Loki looks up with a smirk. "I want to pitch tonight."

Tony blinks at him. "What?"

"Topping. Dominating. Fucking you into the mattress."

Tony sits up way too fast. "_What_? _You_ want to pitch?"

Loki shrugs, looking back at the list. "I've never done it before. I want to try."

Tony is silent for a moment, thinking. Loki always seems to love it, so it can't be _that_ bad. Just because he's always topped doesn't mean he can't switch it up a few times. If he doesn't like it, hopefully Loki won't either and they can go back to how it's usually done.

"Alright," he says at length. "Let's try it."

"Good." He pushes the list back over to Tony. "But I hate museums."

"But you dragged me around the mummy exhibit back at the beginning of the month!"

"So? It was King Tut Day! I had to!"

Tony rolls his eyes and scribbles out twelve and fourteen. "Whatever. One down, twelve to go."

"And the other list?"

Tony flips it over. "Two down and nine to go."

Loki snorts. "We better get going, then." He smiles. "I've never gotten my hair cut at a place that actually has 'barber' in the name before."

Tony grins. "Then let's hurry."

**XxX**

_November 27  
Tuesday…_

They just get a trim on their hair, and Tony's a hell of a lot less than that. His just doesn't grow as fast, it seems. Afterwards they went to the jewelers, wherein Loki took for_ever_ to pick anything because he felt so bad about Tony spending all the money on him. So Tony finally just picked something out for him: a thin silver bracelet and a single pendant to attach to it, being a silver infinity love knot. Tony had smirked and held it up to him without saying a word, and it's been clipped to Loki's wrist ever since.

The florist gave an odd look when Tony and Loki asked if they could trim the single rose to fit behind his ear, but they were out of there fast enough that it didn't matter. The photo shoot was great except for the fact that Tony couldn't stop laughing the entire time, so Loki finally hit him over the head. Tony had turned to stare at him with an incredulous look, but Loki was smiling brightly at the camera, and the flash had already gone off before Tony realized it was just to get the photo over with. They had paid in advance, so Loki just apologized before quick yanking Tony out of there. They're supposed to go back and get the framed photo tomorrow.

After that they ended up in the one antique store, wherein they shrugged and bought some ancient looking paper folded into origami birds. After that Tony talked Loki into finding a place that sold a book that would teach you how to make them yourself, plus a bunch of construction paper to actually get the job going. They got five different colors: a patterned piece of dark blue with white stars, metallic gold, metallic silver, a deep and shimmering purple, and a shimmering light blue. Tony's not really sure why he was into making origami birds the color of space, but it doesn't matter. He also got all his scrapbook material, pleased with himself that he's managed to carry his camera around all day.

After that they were completely exhausted, so they made their way back to the hotel room to crash. Loki went straight to the room, but Tony went to the front desk and paid for two more nights. If they're not done by then, he'll come back down again, but he's hoping they'll be done by at least Friday. He probably couldn't take being here for more than a week, to be honest, and Loki seems the same way. They haven't even mentioned his parents yet…

Tony is lounging across the bed now, a bottle of Bud Light in his hands that he found in the trunk. He wasn't getting his phone, he just couldn't find his other sweatshirt he always keeps in there for emergencies or whatever. He found a pack of cigarettes, too, but he honestly has no idea where those are from and doesn't really want any. Loki wouldn't have let him have any anyway, mentioning something about how he and Victor used to have a few every once in a while and now he can't stand them. He wouldn't really give Tony a straight answer as to why he quite cold, but Tony could think of plenty ideas. The pack is with the guy behind the front desk, now.

Loki is standing across the room in front of a foggy, scratched mirror on the wall, playing with his hair. It's not like its much shorter after his and Tony's cut since that they just got a trim, but he's playing with it anyway, trying any different style he can with the length to his shoulders. A few different ponytail types, a few braids, a messy bun, a tight bun, etcetera-etcetera-etcetera. He's still got the rose, too, attempting to weave it in as best he can.

Tony's snapped a lot of pictures of him over there, Loki smiling back at him in the mirror for a few of them.

"This is stupid," the taller boy suddenly says, dropping his hands from his hair with his elastic band still halfway in, leaving it in one of the most awkward ponytails that Tony has ever seen.

"What's stupid?" Tony asks, using his free hand to take a picture before setting both the camera and beer bottle on the nightstand.

"_This_ is stupid," he says, motioning around the room.

"We can go if you want," Tony says, sitting up.

Loki gives him a light smile. "That's just the beer talking. I can't believe I actually let you have that."

"It is not! I'm not even halfway through! But I can't either, especially because the first time you came over you flipped shit about it."

He nods, bending down to pick up the rose. "Victor drank sometimes," he says quietly.

Tony suppresses a sigh. "Hey," he says.

When Loki looks up at him, Tony holds out his arms.

"Come 'ere," he says.

Loki nods, setting the rose beside Tony's beer and crawling into his arms. Tony's still in the same jeans and t-shirt he came in, but Loki's just in his black briefs and unzipped in the red sweatshirt that Tony finally found in his trunk.

"It's okay if you still love him," Tony says, wrapping his arms around him. "You can love two people."

"No you can't," Loki says. "I've tried. And I don't love him, I've told you that."

"Why can't you?"

"Love two people? Loving someone means complete devotion. How can you give complete devotion to two people? It's either one or the other."

"Like that Johnny Depp quote?"

"Which one?"

"'If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.'"

Loki nods. "That works fine. It's just you, Anth—Sid." He breathes a laugh. "Sid. What a stupid name. No wonder he blew up his toys."

Tony smiles. "Well, Andy is a nub name anyway."

"It is a pretty nub name…" He grabs Tony's beer. "Is this actually any good?"

Tony purses his lips. He thinks its fine, but Loki won't. "No."

Loki takes a swig and grimaces. "You're right." He sets it back down.

Tony lets out a deep breath. Not a sigh, just a breath. "How 'bout you tell me all about Victor."

Loki gives an actual sigh and tries to get up, but Tony holds firm.

"I think I have a right to know, Lo'," he says quietly. "I know I said to forget all about that while we're here, but… I want to know."

Loki stops struggling and collapses back into his arms. "Yeah," he says. "You do deserve that, at the very least. What do you want to know?"

"Why'd you fall in love with him?"

"Oh boy. Big questions first, I see."

"Alright, fine. What's his favorite color?"

"He had three. Silver, white, and green."

"White?"

"The combination was pretty."

"I supposed that's true… Favorite animal?"

"A musk deer."

"…you mean those deer with fangs?"

Loki nods. "Pudu's were a close second."

"I have no idea what that is."

"It's a miniature deer. They only get to be, like…a foot and a half tall."

"That sounds adorable. I want one."

Loki breathes a laugh. "Alright. Anything else?"

"Favorite food?"

"Garlic steak and any sort of vegetable soup, though he's got a weakness for kiwi's too."

"Favorite Holiday?"

"Halloween, so he could wear his mask without looking like a dork."

"What music did he listen to?"

"Instrumental stuff, or Gregorian chant things. A true gypsy."

"Does he read?"

"Mostly just non-fiction. Biographies, autobiographies, how things work…" He snorts. "He's got a large, expensive collection about robots and other technology that he used to read all the time. _Pneumatic Control for Industrial Automation_, _Design Theory for Fluidic Components_, and the only one he ever made me read: _123 Robotics Experiments for the Evil Genius_. I was bored to death, but you and Bruce would have a heyday with it. All of his stuff is in storage right now, but I could get it out for you, if you wanted."

Tony laughs. "We'd definitely love it, I just don't know if we'd ever get around to using it. We already have so many projects of our own. If those are his favorite books, what movies does he like?"

Loki shrugs. "Documentaries and true stories. He watched Animal Planet and the National Geographic channel a lot."

"Think he's seen 'After Porn Ends'?"

Loki looks up at him with his nose wrinkled up. "What's that?"

"A documentary about porn stars getting out of porn starring and adjusting into normal life."

Loki laughs, settling back down so Tony can't see his face again. "Probably."

Tony opens his mouth to speak, but Loki continues:

"I know all this stuff about you too, you know."

Tony frowns. "You mean favorites and the like?"

He nods. "I don't just know everything about Victor. It's you, too."

"Yeah?"

"Your favorite colors are red and gold, you don't have a favorite animal but you really hate hamsters, your favorite food is the cinnamon French toast cereal, your favorite holidays are the ones we get out of school for, you read a lot of random articles about rockets or World War II calculators or anything else nobody would _ever_ read, and your favorite movie is The Deep Blue Sea."

Tony smiles. "Your favorite color is green, your love black panthers and fruit salad because you're vegetarian, your favorite holiday is April Fools Day, I have honestly never seen you read anything unless it's for school since I've known you, your favorite movie is SALT, your favorite band is Florence and the Machine, and the only woman you'd go straight for is their lead singer."

Loki looks up at him with a warm smile. "What else do you want to know about Victor?"

"Pick something."

"He was in a cult when he was fourteen."

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "A cult?"

Loki nods. "They called themselves the Cabal. I don't remember any of the members, but Viki told me all about it and told me I would have had a blast."

"Why'd he get out of it if he stilled liked it?"

"He had to leave everyone so he could survive. They don't live around here."

Tony nods. "What else?"

Loki lets out a breath. Not a sigh, just a breath. "His gypsy parents were named Werner and Cynthia, and he was always talking about how his mom had these weird gypsy powers or something. Nobody wanted him, though, which is why he ran away when he was eight years old. I already told you about how Clint and I met him, and you know what he's like now… There's really not much else to tell you."

"Tell me how his breakdown went."

Loki gives an actual sigh. "It was just a breakdown, Tony. His depression escalated into something feral and he snapped. There are literally no important details to it."

"Promise?"

"Yes, Anthony, I promise."

"Alright. Tell me what he liked to do with his time."

"He worked at the same place that Ivan does, and those two and Justin became friends because they were the only three members of some robotics design club at their school. He also entered a few art contests and won every won of them. Maybe Phil can play the piano like a god, but I have never met a better artist in my entire life. He painted a replica of the Mona Lisa once, and he got in trouble with the school because they honestly thought it was the real deal. Stupid, but funny."

Loki sighs. "He had started drinking and smoking before I knew him. They weren't too often, but I didn't deny it when he offered. He knew I didn't like the drinks, though, so he only offered when he had something new for me to try. The smoking got pretty bad for a couple of weeks, but I managed to quit before it became a full-blown addiction. If I'm going to die, it's not going to be cancer."

Tony nods. "I've smoked a couple of times, but it didn't take. I'd rather chew on a piece of gum or something." He shrugs. "I seem like the type of guy who'd like 'em, too."

Loki laughs. "Yeah. You do."

Tony nods. "So…you and Victor never had sex? I mean, I don't care if you did, I just remember you telling me that you were a virgin when I met you and I'm curious if you were just saying it to forget."

Loki sighs. "No, I really was. We got really close one time, but Justin walked in and ruined the whole moment. He and I didn't have the same kind or amount of privacy as you and I have. He shared an apartment with two other guys, so we never had any peace there, and if we were alone in my room my parents were downstairs or Thor was just over in his room. Ivan only lived with his dad, so he was always offering to let us use his place, but his house is…well, not a house. He lives in a motor home, so having sex means the entire thing shakes. He was sketchy about the whole thing, anyway."

Tony frowns. "Sketchy? About sex? He's a guy."

Loki laughs. "Not all guys are as comfortable with it as you are, Anthony. They get nervous."

"Were you nervous?"

"Remember our first time, when I had to hang out with Peter before?"

"Of course."

"I was nervous the entire night and Peter kept glaring at me about it, but by the time I got to your arms I didn't have _time_ to be nervous."

Tony laughs. "Well, we did go straight into it."

"I'm glad we did. Those butterflies were killing me."

"Remember how there were candles and roses and stuff?"

"Yeah?"

"I left to the store without shoes."

Loki laughs, looking up at him. "That's not at all surprising."

Tony nods. "So when was the point you realized you fell in love with him? 'Cause I know for me with you it was our first time, but we had the right past for it to work out that way. You and Victor had a completely different one."

Loki gives a warm smile, looking away from Tony again. "Yeah, we did. It was when I was over at his apartment, about a month after we started dating. I was just a junior; we fall in love fast. Anyway, I was staying over at his place for a big sleepover with him and his two roommates, Parker Robbins and his cousin, John King. It was after dinner and we were bored, so Victor and I decided we were going to make cookies from scratch. It was a very messy event, flour everywhere and vanilla extract all but staining the sink and half of the brown sugar we were going to use somewhere in our stomachs before it had even gotten to the bowl." He laughs, looking back up at him. "They were the most disgusting cookies I have ever eaten."

Tony smiles down at him. "That sounds fun."

He shrugs. "It was at the time, but we wouldn't be able to do it again. We'd remember what had happened last time—"

"The mess or…?"

"Blowjobs on the kitchen floor. John walked in and laughed before walking back out, but Parker was high in the living room and didn't give a damn about a thing."

Tony laughs. "I understand why you wouldn't be able to do it again, then."

Loki nods. "Even if we didn't give each other blowjobs we would remember everything else that was going on at the time, and Victor would be sad that I had moved on even though he told me to and I'd feel bad and…" He sighs. "I'd just never put myself in that situation. I could hang out with him, just never alone. He'd start talking to me about what we used to be and I wouldn't know what to tell him."

Tony nods as well, reaching over to his beer to take a swig. "Don't move," he says, picking up the camera afterwards. He holds it out in front of them and bends his head down to rest against the top of Loki's before snapping the picture.

"Is there anything else?" Loki asks.

"Nope," Tony says, setting the camera aside. "Ready to forget about the past again?"

"No more Victor?"

"No more anyone."

Loki nods.

So Tony bends down and kisses him, tilting his chin up and bending down.

They end up with Loki beneath him, both of them breathing heavily as he pushes Tony's shirt above his head.

"I changed my mind," Loki whispers, pulling him back down to lie against him. "I'll top _tomorrow_ night."

Tony breathes a laugh, kissing the corner of his eye. "Whatever you say, Lo'."

Loki frowns at him.

Tony rolls his eyes. "Sorry, _Andy_."

He smiles. "Kiss me, stupid."

**XxX**

_Three Days Later  
November 30  
Friday…_

When Tony and Loki wake up on Wednesday, everything is perfect. And the rest of their days stay that way. Neither of them even mentions their phones in the trunk, they get far too many pictures (it's a good thing Tony has multiple memory chips for his camera, or they'd be fucked), and they sample everything they can about the town—except of course McDonald's and the museum.

Wednesday is when they go back to get the picture they had done, Loki looking pristine and Tony with a half confused look on his face that looks so out of place in the nice frame it's ridiculous. They actually end up going to the pharmacy, and Tony gets Loki a bottle of black polish and also some neon green crackle because hey, why not mix it up a bit? They also end up at the grocery store for lunch, grabbing a few things for snacks, like a box of Pop Tarts and a few granola bars—Tony also gets an entire mix box of donuts. They also get whipped cream and chocolate syrup, planning on saving those kinks for after they got back to the hotel, but they just couldn't help but go back _instantly_.

On the way back from the grocery store, though (everything is close enough that they just walk; they don't care how cold it is), Tony couldn't believe his luck:

"Hey! It's starting to rain!"

Loki groaned. "No, it can't be!"

"Come on, I'll race you home!"

They moved things around in their bags so they had two instead of three before taking off, the rain coming down harder and harder. By the time they got back to the hotel it was absolutely pouring, and Tony grabbed Loki's hand so he wouldn't get inside.

"Tony!" he had yelled. "Let go, I'm getting wet!"

"You're already wet," he said, pulling him closer.

Loki groaned. "This is that stupid kiss in the rain thing, isn't it?"

Tony nodded.

So Loki sucked it up and let Tony kiss him, both of them wrapping their arms around each other and letting the rain pour down. Tony wished he could have gotten a picture of that, but he didn't even think about it until later, and he wouldn't have wanted the camera getting that wet anyway.

They went to a place called Nola's for dinner, but before all that they ended up at a place called Clinton Pottery (though quite a few people also referred to it as "Woodward's Pottery", but Tony never figured out why). It was just a white barn on the outside, and Tony was able to get the employees there to let them paint their own choice of ceramic and then hang around until it had been glazed with a batch of the others they were doing.

For himself Tony painted a drinking mug in a color they had labeled as "bud" (a green color, like the buds of flowers), because if Tony's going to be painting pottery he's going to make it as gay as he can. He also painted a purple pitcher for Maria since she's going to slit his throat when he comes home.

Loki painted a mug for himself as well, choosing the color "sky" since their "dark green" is more of a turquoise or sea green. He also painted a sort of dish in their "gun metal", and when Tony asked what it was for…well:

Tony cocked an eyebrow. "What's that?"

"A dish," Loki replied, continuing to paint.

"A dish?"

"Yeah, for food or water."

Tony's nose wrinkled. "You mean for a pet?"

Loki nodded.

"Why, do you want one? Does Peter or Gwen have one?"

Loki looked up at him with a confused look. "No, it's for Mjölnir."

"Who the fuck is that?"

Loki looked at him like he was an idiot. "Thor's dog?"

Tony's jaw dropped. "Thor has a dog?! Why didn't I know that?"

"Why _didn't_ you know that?" Loki asked, shaking his head and going back to painting. It's not very difficult; they just paint the entire outside of the ceramic.

"What kind of dog is he?"

"A fawn bridle Presa Canario."

"A _what_?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "You'll meet him later."

"How long have you guys had it?"

"_Thor_ has had _him_ for three years now, since he was a puppy."

"How does Thor even have _time_ for it?"

"You'd be surprised. We used to have a black Great Dane named Heimdall, but he died about five years ago. Thor wasn't himself for the couple years without a dog running around."

Tony had just shrugged after that, and they carried on with their day.

After dinner they went back to the hotel, wherein they watched a hell of a lot of TV before Loki did indeed go through with pitching. It was…pretty good. Tony still technically dominated since he eased Loki into the whole thing, plus Loki ending up on his back with Tony on top most of the time. They both liked it, but it's probably not going to be an often occurring switch.

Thursday was a lot more hectic, mostly because Tony was having a hell of a time trying to find a place to _change his fucking t-shirt_. He ended up just giving up and yanking it off so he could just wear a sweatshirt like Loki had been doing, but at least they found some more underwear. The jeans didn't matter enough.

They also ended up at a store for women called the Village Crossing, but Loki got a scarf anyway, and Tony couldn't help but buy Natasha a pair of shiny red stiletto's (he knows she only has black ones because she complains about it every once in a while) and Pepper a beautiful white and light blue sundress. It's nowhere near summer, and her birthday isn't even summer, but her _half_ birthday is in March and therefore Tony is going to give it to her then. Except that she's going to kill him when he gets back, so he'll probably just give it to her as a peace offering… He'll keep Natasha's shoes until the heat's off so she doesn't stab him.

They also ended up at the College Street Café and Art Studio, but they only stayed long enough to get a drink before they went back outside. It wasn't raining that day, to Loki's delight.

Because they honestly had nothing better to do, they ended up at the college and met with a tour of the entire place. It's definitely not the college that Tony will end up at, but it's still nice. Afterwards Tony dragged Loki to the museum, who sucked it up and had as good a time as he could.

And now? Well, now it's Friday, and there's just one more thing on Part II of their list…

"We need to go back today," Tony says quietly.

Loki sighs from where he's flopped across the bed. "Yeah," he says. "We do."

"We haven't talked about your parents at all."

"I know. We'll go today."

"You ready for this?"

"We've been here for three entire days before this, Anthony. I'm ready."

Tony nods and they crawl out of bed, showering before getting dressed. They pack all of their things up, a silent agreement that they won't be coming back after this. It's about nine in the morning since they went to bed so early last night; even Tony was completely rested when he woke up about fifteen minutes ago.

They sign out at the desk, and on the way Tony stops at the flower shop so he and Loki can go inside and get an actual bouquet for his mother. They drive the rest of the way in silence, the flowers shaking slightly in Loki's hand. They park on the edge and get out, just standing there for a moment.

"Ready?" Tony asks, squeezing Loki's good hand. He almost forgot that Loki even injured it since they haven't been holding hands much here; they're either holding something else or having sex. His ribs should heal completely at about the same time that his hand does, exactly one week before Christmas. He's okay enough now that it only hurts if he really bangs them against something.

Loki takes a deep breath, looking up at the gate. "Yeah," he says, a warm smile on his face. The flowers have stopped shaking in his hands.

Loki takes a confident step forward, putting him into the graveyard. So Tony goes with him, winding their way through chill November air without a clue where to begin. Even as they go, Loki laughs at intricate names and marvels at the older dates. And then, somewhere in the middle, they find them. Two graves with the same date and the same last name.

Laufey and Farbauti Laufeyson, nearly eighteen years ago.

"Wow," Loki says, standing in front of his father's. "What a dick."

Tony can't help but snort. "Do you want me to…leave you alone with them?"

Loki grabs the camera from Tony's hand and snaps a picture of his mother's grave before handing it back to him. "Yes," he says, squatting down in front of it. "Thank you."

Tony pats him on the head before walking away, making his way over to one of the larger graves so that he can sit down. Maybe it's disrespectful, but to be honest…does it matter? They're dead.

He resists the urge to take a picture of Loki from here. This is a private time between him and his parents.

"Hi!"

Tony yelps, leaping up from his spot to see a grown man with glasses and not very much hair.

The man laughs, gloves on and a potted plant in his hands. "No, no, sit down, it's alright. He's dead, he won't mind."

Tony does, staring up. "Hi," he says. "Who are you?"

"The grave keeper! You can call be Yinsen. You waitin' for your friend?"

Tony smiles, looking over at Loki. "Yeah. His parents."

Yinsen nods, sitting down beside him. "So sad. We get a lot of those around here."

Tony nods and holds his hand out. "Sid."

Yinsen smiles and shakes it. "Pleased to meet you, Sid. I'd go pot my plant now, but your friend happens to be right next to where I'm going and I don't want to interrupt him."

Tony laughs. "Yeah, that's why I'm way over here."

Yinsen nods. "I hate to ask, but…are you aware that he's—"

"Yes," Tony says, cutting him off.

"I mean no disrespect. I've worked here since I was seventeen. I know the graves and those who visit them like the back of my hand. I've been waiting for this moment my whole life."

Tony blinks at him. "Are you…you mean…you want to meet him?"

Yinsen nods.

"I—yeah, okay, he'd be okay with that I think. Just, I mean, wait until he's done…"

"Oh, of course."

Loki spends about ten more minutes by himself, a time in which Tony tells Yinsen a few things about himself but mostly things about Loki. How old they are, how they got together, what Tony _knows_ he'll be doing when he's older, what Loki _wants_ to do when he's older, and a few things about all the friends they have.

Loki walking slowly over to them, though, makes them stop. His hands are in his pockets and the green scarf he just bought recently is blowing around his face.

"Hey," Tony says warmly, standing up to tuck it in right before kissing him on the cheek. "I found somebody who wants to meet you."

Loki smiles at Yinsen. "Hello. I'm Andy."

"Yinsen," he says, shaking a potting-gloved hand with a fancy-gloved hand. "It's an honor to meet you."

Loki gives a confused smile, but goes with it. "You…too…"

Tony laughs and explains the situation.

Loki blushes a little. "Oh. Um, thank you, I think." He looks at Tony. "Should we, um…"

Tony nods.

"My name's Loki," Loki says, giving him a smile. "We're not from around here, so we were…" He shrugs. "Pretending to be somebody else. This is my boyfriend, Anthony."

Yinsen smiles. "Still charmed."

On the way back out, Tony grabs Loki's hand and stops him. "Lo', I just thought of the best idea!"

Loki frowns. "What idea?"

"Remember on Part I of the list? Carving our names into a tree?"

Loki nods.

Tony grins and pulls a pocket knife out of his jeans. "Ta-duh!"

Loki kisses him hard. "I love you."

Tony grins. "I love you too. Now move and let me do this so Yinsen won't see."

When it's done he steps back and snaps a picture of it, hoping that Yinsen himself won't get in trouble if a supervisor of some sort sees it.

_Anthony Stark &  
Loki Laufeyson  
11/30/12_

Loki smiles, reaching up to trace his fingers over his last name. "It's beautiful."

Tony grabs the ends of his scarf and pulls him in for another kiss. "I do love you," he says, refusing to let him go.

Loki wraps his arms around Tony's neck and holds tight. "Thank you," he whispers.

"You're welcome, Loki."

"Can we go home now?"

"Yeah, let's get out of here."

"And never come back?"

Tony leans away and nods. "We'll never come back."

* * *

End chapter notes: kay, so…I've never been to Clinton before, so everything I've got in here is from the internet ha

Also, I checked the previous weather there, and it really _did_ rain on that Wednesday of November! So it's not totally made up, I'm just lucky XD


	21. We Shouldn't Have Come Back

**21: We Shouldn't Have Come Back**

_November 30  
Friday…_

Tony takes a deep breath as they pass their school about fifteen minutes before it gets out. Loki drove for the first two hours before they stopped at the same rest stop and switched to Tony driving. "Hey, uh, wanna go to the nearest park and go through all our texts and voicemails and stuff? I mean, so we're at least a little bit prepared…"

Loki sighs. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

Tony parks across the street before they get out and grab their phones from the trunk, neither of them turning the devices on right away as they sit down on a bench. It's freezing cold, but Tony can hardly feel it. Nobody else is around, so they huddle up against each other, Tony's arm around Loki's shoulders and Loki's legs pulled up to drape over Tony's.

"Ready?" Loki asks.

Tony sighs. "Ready-set-go."

They both turn their phones on and _wait_. It literally takes at least five entire minutes for both of their phones to stop buzzing, letting them know that all their texts and voicemails have come in.

Tony whistles. "Wow. I have six texts from Bruce, seventeen from Natasha, eight from Pepper, two from Phil, twenty-nine from Steve, four from Thor, and one from each Clint, Gwen, and Peter. Plus the six unidentified voicemails…" He frowns. "Only two from Phil and nothing from Jarvis? That's odd."

"Phil probably knew it was just you being a retard and Jarvis probably heard you and I decide to turn our phones off," Loki says. "Do you think he told the others?"

"Jarvis? I have no idea. I thought I knew my own creation pretty well, but apparently he has these psychiatry sessions with Clint and Phil or whatever."

Loki nods. "Well, I have four from Bruce and Steve, twenty-six from Clint, fourteen from Gwen, thirty-four from Natasha, one from Pepper, eleven from Peter, and three from Thor. Plus my twelve unidentified voicemails."

Tony's eyes widen. "Wow. That's…sixty-nine texts for me and ninety-seven for you."

Loki nods. "One-hundred and sixty-six altogether, and eighteen voicemails."

They sit in silence for a moment.

"Want to go back to Clinton?" Tony asks at length.

Loki nods vigorously. "Yeah."

Tony sighs. "Let's get the texts over with first."

Loki sighs too. "Yeah."

They don't read out loud, so Tony's not exactly sure what anyone is saying to Loki, but for Tony it's all mostly the same. Asking where he is, who took him, if he's dead, why he's not answering, if he's coming back, if he's with Loki, if they're just in a hotel room for a peaceful fuck… All that good stuff. One of Pepper's is telling him how irresponsible the whole thing is, one of Steve's is telling him how much trouble Maria is planning to get him into, Clint's only one is telling him how much _Loki's_ parents are going to get him into, there are multiple from Thor telling him that he'll break every bone in Tony's body if anything happens to his brother, and a _lot_ from Natasha just swearing at him and a few that are mentioning Victor and also asking him if he'll bring her back a souvenir from wherever the hell they went off to (he smiles at that, since he totally did without even knowing she wanted one). Phil's, though, aren't even truly concerned. His first one is asking him if he feels alright or if he's just ditching, and the second one isn't until two days later:

"**Your friends are even texting me now. You should really let them know where you are. Stay safe and tell your boyfriend I say hi."**

"Which one of them is maddest at you?" Loki eventually asks.

"Uh…our parents, I think, but they didn't actually text me."

"Who of the ones that texted you?"

"I can't tell if it's Thor, Steve, or Natasha. Thor's threatening to kill me if you're hurt, Steve is frantic as all hell, and Natasha's calling me a lot of names—except she asks for a souvenir, too, so it's probably not her. What about you?"

Loki licks his lips. "Uh, Natasha or Steve."

Tony nods. "Funny how they're both the ones…" He trails off. "Steve? At you? In the four texts he sent you?"

"Just because he can only send one-hundred and sixty characters at once doesn't mean he can't say all the right things to get his point across."

"Good point. What did he say?"

Loki hands him his phone. "Read the last two. He had to send both to get _that_ point across."

Tony presses his lips into a tight line and reads all four of them instead. The first is simply Steve asking if Loki knows where Tony is, and the second is Steve _telling_ Loki he knows where Tony is and to "make him call me". The last two…aren't as pretty.

**I don't know enough of what's happened between you two, but it can't be GOOD. He's DIFFERENT than he was before and it's all your fault. I swear if you don't give him back I'll TAKE him from you.**

"Oh," Tony says quietly, handing the phone back to Loki.

"Might want to listen to your voicemails," Loki says. "There's probably one form him in there about the same thing."

Tony nods, dialing the number. The first is Bruce asking him if he and Loki are skipping and if he wants Bruce to bring the homework for him, the second is Natasha cussing at him a few times to answer his fucking phone, and the third is from Tony's mom:

"_Anthony Edward Stark, I swear if you do not call me or any of your friends this very instant you will be grounded until next year, do you understand me? This is unacceptable! I don't care how in love you are or how distant you're growing from anyone or WHAT, you need to let somebody know where you are at all times. Your phone only rang once so I know it's off, but I also know that you're not in any danger or Edwin—I mean, Jarvis would have called every last one of us. This is not the time for games, Tony._" She sighs. "_Please call one of us. Any of us. Even if you call Ed—dammit, if you call Jarvis I'll be alright. I just need to KNOW WHERE YOU ARE and IF YOU'RE SAFE._"

Tony is half glad and half disappointed that his phone has an unlimited voicemail length for people who leave one. Glad because he doesn't get a whole bunch from the same person continuing their speech, disappointed because he has to listen to the entire speeches in the first place.

The fourth is from Jarvis:

"_Good morning, sir. I would like you to know that I have had multiple calls wondering about your whereabouts, and I have been telling all of them that I am unaware as to what those whereabouts are. If I were human it would be painful to say, but I truly do not, sir, and I dislike it. You and Mr. Loki have talked multiple times about going to visit the graves of his parents, but I have been unable to access my database in the last few days so I am unable to find exactly where it is that they are. It would do my circuits good if you would be so kind as to text or call me, sir, so that I may at least know where you are and tell your friends and the families of you and Mr. Loki that you are safe. The police scanners of the state are still accessible, so I have not heard any reports of the bodies of two teenage boys being found. Nonetheless, though, I would like a confirmation. Wherever you are, I do hope that you're safe. Tell Mr. Loki I said hello if you do get this but refuse to answer me, if you would be so kind. Goodbye, sir."_

Tony pulls the phone away from his ear and stares down at it. "Holy shit," he says.

"One from Steve?" Loki asks.

"No, one from _Jarvis_. He's never been so polite to me since the day I created him, Lo'. He's really fucking scared. I didn't even know he was _able_ to get scared!"

Loki shrugs. "Whatever it is, you're fifth message is playing without you."

Tony presses the back button so the fifth will restart, but it's just himself reminding him to get the t-shirt, so he quick gets out of his messages and sends a text to himself so that he can lock it and look at it later. Then he goes back into his voicemail for his last message, and just like he and Loki suspected, it is indeed from Steve:

"_Hey Tone, it's…uh, it's Steve._"

Tony rolls his eyes.

"_Your phone went straight to voicemail so it's either off, dead, or broken, so… I don't know if you're actually ever going to hear this if and when you get back before I get to you and tell you all of it myself. If it's off then you will, but if it's dead I'll probably see you before you get to a charger, and if it's broken then it's lost forever. I don't have much to say, I just…_" He sighs. "_Okay, it is a lot. I'm just going to come right out with even though I'm usually pretty bad at that stuff… I mean, I think you know that, I—sorry, I'm rambling. Uh…here goes, I guess._" He takes a deep breath. "_I think you and Loki should break up._" He's silent for a moment. "_Hope I gave enough time for that to sink in._

"_I just…I don't think he's good for you anymore. I did right at first, because he was really starting to grow on me. All of those times he went shooting with Bucky and I, even the first couple of times when you weren't around? Those were great because you weren't there with him, but when you two are around each other you're…well, both of you are different. You always go on about how innocent acting he is, but I don't think he is anymore. Maybe he was at the beginning, but when I see him he's…very dark. I know a lot of things have happened to him over the years, but didn't you fall in love with his innocent stage? So now he's…not like that anymore. So are you still in love with him? I know people change, but I don't think this is the type of change that you'd stay with._

"_You don't have to act right away, I just… I want you to think about it. Do you REALLY love him? Really, truly love him? Did you ever, and if you did…do you still? It's barely been two full months since you even met him, right? Let alone realized you actually liked him back in the first place… I've known Peg a lot longer than that and I don't think I'm in love with HER yet—and she knows that, by the way; she agrees with me. But I mean, I know people are different and they fall in love at different times, but still, two months is pretty short…_

"_Okay, I guess that's all I really need to say in a voice message. You and I can talk about it more later—and we WILL talk about it. If you love him I want you to prove it to me, and maybe when we're talking you won't be able to and that will be enough for you to see it too. I'm not saying you guys have to break up, I just…you should take it slower. Hang out with each other a little less. Your friends miss you, Tone, and I'm sure his miss him too. I know Natasha and Clint are always over at your place anyway, but what about Peter and Gwen? They've got to miss him a ton, but they can't hang out with him as often because he's got YOU. I know you two try hard to hang out with all of us, but it shows through that you'd rather just be with each other. Maybe you are in love and that's what happens…then again, Peg and I aren't in love but we always want to be together, too. We know when to hang out without each other, though. He lives with you now, so you have no choice in the matter!_

"_Dang, I'm still talking, aren't I? I really hope your phone isn't dead or broken, because I really don't want to have to say any of this again. I just…we miss you, Tone. We missed you even before all of this—I mean, you guys disappearing—happened. Even Bruce missed you, and he had Clint to keep him preoccupied. Please, Tone. Please come back to us."_

The message ends in a beep and the woman telling him he has no more messages, and Tony drops the phone from his hands, pressing the number that will erase all of the messages without looking.

"Uh," he says quietly, shoving the phone into his pocket. "Who are _your_ voicemails from?"

Loki gives him a sad look. "Three from Clint, two from Gwen, four from Natasha, one from Pepper, and two from Thor. What did Steve say?"

"What did Pepper say?" Tony asks in counter.

"She told me that we're both irresponsible so we're perfect for each other and if we're coming back to be ready for some serious whoopage and a painfully large load of homework. What did Steve say, Anthony?"

Tony shrugs. "The same thing he said to you. That you're not good for me and he wants me back to how I used to be."

"So he wants us to break up?"

"Yeah."

Loki sighs, looking away. "I figured."

"Hey." Tony takes a hold of his chin and turns him back to face him. "I'm not going to break up with you, okay? I don't care what Steve says, you _are_ perfect for me. Just because we disappear for just under a week doesn't mean it's your fault."

Loki pushes Tony's hand away. "It was my idea."

"But it was my idea to stay longer than one night."

Loki shakes his head. "It doesn't matter whose idea it was. Steve still hates me."

"Which is not our problem, okay?" He wraps both of his arms around him. "_I love you_."

Loki drops his head onto Tony's shoulder. "It hasn't even been two full months since we met, Anthony."

Tony narrows his eyes, remembering Steve's words. "So?"

"People aren't supposed to fall in love that fast."

"Well, what's so bad about being abnormal?"

Loki starts laughing. He laughs and he laughs, throwing his head back and laughing some more.

"Breathe, babe," Tony says after a while.

Loki chokes a little, but not enough to worry about. "Wanna get married?" he asks, looking at Tony with a bright smile in this freezing afternoon weather.

Tony chuckles. "No," he says. "I promised myself years ago that I wouldn't get married until after I was out of college."

"Wanna have a fake one, then?"

Tony smiles warmly at him. "Think Steve would kill us for asking him to do it for us?"

Loki laughs again. "Yes. Yes I do. We could ask your dad and stand a better chance."

"I can have Jarvis do it," Tony says. "Phil can be our witness!"

Loki nods. "A brilliant idea. Can I pick out my ring?"

Tony shrugs. "Sure."

Loki reaches down to the bottom of Tony's jeans and yanks on them, ripping off a very long frayed end. "Here," he says. "Tie it to my finger."

Tony blinks at him. "You've seen the Count of Monte Cristo?"

Loki grins. "It's one of my favorite movies."

Tony laughs. "I definitely was not one of mine."

Loki rolls his eyes. "I should have guessed. Tie the fucking string."

Tony does so, tying it to Loki's ring finger, smiling the entire time. "Do I get one?" he asks when the task is done.

Loki leans down to his own jeans and does the same to one of his frays, leaning back up and tying it to the same finger on Tony's hand. "All set. Now we can take on anyone. Do you think everyone is going to your place?"

Tony shrugs. "I have no idea. I'll have Jarvis call everyone to come here, though, how about?"

"I don't know, it's kind of cold…"

"We'd all just end out in my front yard anyway."

Loki nods. "Good point. Call him up."

Tony dials Jarvis's number.

"You truly had us worried, sir," he says in greeting. "I believe they are all planning to kill you and Loki both."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, okay?" Tony mutters back. "I promise that I'll tell you where I'm going if I ever do it again."

"I would greatly appreciate that. Is there anything else you would like to do other than inform me you are alive?"

"Uh, yeah. A meet up at the park closest to the school."

"Who all shall I send text messages to, sir?"

"Oh boy, a lot of them. Steve, Bruce, Pepper, Natasha, Clint, Thor, Gwen, Peter, and I'll get Phil myself. But wait five minutes since they're out of school now, because I won't have time to actually talk to Phil if you text them all right away."

"Of course, sir. Five minutes will begin once we have hung up."

"Thanks, Jay. I sure missed you."

"As did I, sir."

"I'll talk to you later."

"Goodbye, sir."

Tony hangs up and turns to Loki. "You have five minutes to…" He trails off. He was going to suggest that Loki quick listen to his voicemails, but he's already in the middle of it. So he calls Phil.

"Hey," the man answers calmly. "You missed one of my tests."

"I'll take it as soon as I can. How many times has Natasha cussed at you?"

"More times than I can count. What happened, Tony?"

"Loki's ex-boyfriend came haunting along, so we went down to Clinton to find the graves of his parents. We were only gonna stay for one night, but…well, we were having fun."

"So you ran away for four nights without telling anybody and then proceeded to ignore everybody's calls and texts?"

Tony sighs. "Uh, yeah. It was only going to be for one night, but…well, we got caught up in our moments. We left our phones off and in the trunk… I'm sorry, man."

Phil is silent for a moment. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. Jarvis shut down for an entire twenty-four hours without you, Tony. Pepper didn't go to her cake decorating, and I know she has never once missed one of those classes. Steve got sent out of four of his classes in _one day_ for not paying attention because he was worrying about _you_. Peter and Gwen wanted to put up missing persons posters, but I stopped them in time. The others were about the same, but I don't even want to _know_ how Thor reacted. He didn't come to school Wednesday, Thursday, _or_ today."

Tony groans. "Shit, he's going to _kill_ me. Did, um…did Steve ever for some reason talk to you about his view on how he thinks the relationship between Loki and I should go?"

"About what? No, he just sat in my office in silence after he got kicked out. What's he saying?"

Tony is about to tell him, but suddenly a very familiar black Escalade pulls up, and that's Tony's cue. "Uh, I gotta go. Our friends are here. I'll call you—oh _shit_." Tony hangs up and shoves his phone into his pocket, because all three of Pepper, Natasha, and Gwen are leaping out of the car with _metal baseball bats_.

He and Loki jump up at the same time, taking each other's hands and making a run for it.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU BASTARDS!" Natasha screams.

"Think we can make it to the men's restroom?" Tony calls.

"They'd come in after us!" Loki yells back.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!" Natasha screams again.

"FOUR DAYS AND NOW YOU'RE _RUNNING_?" Gwen adds.

Tony and Loki both halt at the same time.

"At least I'll die engaged," Loki says.

Tony only has time to smile at them before the girls get to them. They don't beat them, they just simply jab them a few times.

"Get going," Pepper growls, pushing at Tony's back.

"I thought you were going to beat us up," Tony says, Loki's hand still firmly in his as they walk back towards the playground.

"Oh, we will," Gwen says, giving him an odd sort of sneer. "We just want to hear the whole story first so we can decide how many bones to break."

When they get back to the bench they were at, Pepper shoves Tony down and Gwen shoves Loki down beside him, followed by Natasha sitting on the outside of Loki and Thor on Tony's outside. Pepper and Gwen position themselves behind them, and Steve, Bruce, Clint, and Peter stand in front of them in that order from Tony's side. Tony makes sure not to make any sort of eye contact with Steve.

Thor speaks first: "Baldur has returned home, so he is not here." His words are instantly followed by him grabbing Tony by the front of his shirt. "If you ever take him away from me again I will—"

Suddenly a fist whizzes past Tony's face, smashing into Thor's cheek. The blonde doesn't move anywhere, he just snaps his head back from the blow before giving a feral growl at whose hand it was.

Loki just growls right back, leaning over Tony so that he's right up in his brother's face. They just stay like that for a few seconds, and Tony suddenly gets it.

"Please tell me you're not holding your breath like you did that one time," Tony groans.

"Shh!" Natasha and Clint hiss.

Tony swears an entire hour goes by, but it's probably not even two minutes. Thor backs down first, leaning slightly away. Loki snaps his teeth at him before leaning back, pushing his fingers through his hair.

"I told you you're not allowed to do that," he says darkly.

"I don't care what I'm not allowed to do," Thor says back. "We had no idea where you were for _four days_."

Loki rolls his eyes. "That doesn't mean—"

"He took you, Loki!"

"IT WAS MY IDEA!" Loki screams, staring to lean over Tony again to throw another punch. Natasha pulls him back, though, and Tony grabs his thigh to let him to know that he doesn't need defending.

Loki growls at Natasha and knocks her hands off. "Don't touch me," he says, scooting closer to Tony. He lets out a deep breath. "I was my idea, okay?" He drops his head into his hands. "Victor got out and called me," he whispers.

"We know," Clint says, squatting down in front of him. "We called Justin."

"So you knew that we weren't dead?" Loki asks him, peeking through his fingers.

He nods. "We weren't able to explain anything, but everybody at least knew you were going to contact us eventually."

Loki nods. "We can't let him out, Clint," he says quietly. "He's not…he thinks he's better, but he's _not_. Justin and Ivan think he's gotten better, but they _can't let him out_. Not until we know for sure."

"I know, Lo'," Clint says, rubbing a hand on his knee. "They called us and told us to tell you that they were checking up on him every day since they couldn't get a hold of you."

Loki nods. "We didn't check our missed calls. Just texts and voicemails."

Clint nods, standing back up again.

"That's why you went, then?" Natasha asks. "Because you saw Victor and it send you off?"

Loki nods.

"Who's Victor?" Pepper asks behind them.

"My and Loki's ex," Clint says.

"Not at the same time, though," Peter adds

Bruce frowns anyway. "You guys dated the same person?"

"Forget about it," Gwen says.

Tony makes the mistake of looking up at Steve about then, who clearly asks with his eyes if they can have a quick chat.

"Fuck you," Tony growls instead.

Steve rolls his eyes. "I'll be in the car," he says to Bruce and Pepper.

"Should have stayed in there in the first place, you—"

Loki elbows him. "Leave him alone, Si—Anthony."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Sorry, _Andy_."

A few of their friends seem like they're about to ask about the names, but Bruce talks before they can: "You got the message, then?" he asks quietly.

Tony turns his glare at him. "You know about that, too?"

He nods. "Pepper and I were in the room when he did it. He made us promise not to interfere before we knew what it was even about."

Tony looks away from him. "Whatever."

Suddenly someone is yanking at his hair, and Tony bats them away.

"Pepper, ow! What are you doing, what do you want?"

She gives him an evil eye. "To go talk to your _best friend_."

"Best friend my ass!" Tony says, standing up to turn and glare at her too. "Friends are supposed to support you no matter how much they fucking dislike it, aren't they?"

"Even if he's wrong—and Bruce and I both think he is, I'll have you know—he's just trying to watch out for you."

"I don't want him watching out for me! Would he listen to me if I told _him_ that he and Peggy should break up? No, he'd—"

"Yes he would," Bruce says.

"Okay, okay," Gwen says, hands raised. "I call a split-up for a while here, because _I_ want to hear from Loki, and obviously you two want to hear from him. So go over there instead." She points to a bench across the playground.

Tony gives an aggressive eye roll and stomps off in that direction, Bruce and Pepper following after.

"He would listen, Tony," Pepper says right away. "He'd hear you out."

"I did hear him out! The entire fucking speech he left on my voicemail!"

"CALM DOWN!" Bruce yells.

Tony does. If Bruce is the one telling somebody to calm down, they better listen, because he knows from experience.

"Sorry," Tony says quietly, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Oh, Tony," Pepper says, wrapping her arms around him as well. "He's just afraid for you, is all. You've been all ours for so long now, and suddenly you were whisked away by the very people that plagued us for so many years. He wasn't ready to say goodbye to you."

Tony sighs, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Remember that picture I took of you giving me a blowjob?"

Bruce blushes, but Pepper just laughs. "What about it?"

"It was still on my camera. I totally forgot it was even there."

Her jaw drops. "Boo!" she says darkly. "Did Loki find it?"

Tony nods. "He knew it was old and believed me when I told him I forgot about it, at least."

"Can we please go back to the topic at hand?" Bruce asks.

"More like topic at _mouth_!" Tony says, turning a wide-mouthed smile to Pepper.

She blinks at him.

"Get it?" he asks with the same face. "Because blowjobs are—"

"That wouldn't have even been funny if this _weren't_ a serious moment."

Tony instantly sobers. "Sorry. Do I _really_ have to talk to him?"

She and Bruce both nod. "_Now_," they say together.

Tony groans. "_Fine_." He stomps off towards the Escalade, wishing he could see through the tinted windows. But he can't, so he goes straight to the passenger door instead, since he knows Steve is always the one that drives. Sure enough, the blonde is sitting in the drivers spot, the seat leaned back as far as it can go and his blue eyes closed.

Tony sighs, locking the doors. "Sit up, Steve," he says quietly.

Steve opens his eyes and sighs as well before doing what he's told, the whirring painfully loud in the silence and the slowness of the raise practically unbearable.

"Come to swear at me as much as Natasha has for the last five days?" he asks.

Tony resists the urge to roll his eyes. "Don't give me th—"

"FIVE DAYS!" the blonde repeats louder. "You don't go home for the night and therefore set your mother in a panic, you ignore _every_body's texts and calls, and then you just _show up_?" He looks at him with an exasperated look. "What am I _supposed_ to give you, a hug?"

Tony sighs, because he knows he deserves it. He just wants to yell back or break a nose or something, but he doesn't, because he knows he deserves it. Not the shit about him and Loki, but definitely about running off without a trace.

He gives a sullen nod. "Anything else you want to lecture me for?" he asks quietly.

Steve sighs. "No."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, because it's obvious that what I _do_ want to talk about is not open for discussion. I'm not going to waste my breath."

Tony narrows his eyes. "What, you think I got _in_ here for a hug? Let's talk, Steve." He folds his hands and turns himself towards Steve as much as he can. "I want to talk."

Steve glares a bit as well. "Fine," he snaps. "We will."

They sit in an angry silence for a few more seconds before the blonde continues: "What was the trigger that made you both leave?"

"Loki's ex called."

"That Victor guy?"

Tony nods.

"What do you know about him?"

Tony's not about to tell Steve everything that Loki told him. "He's in a mental hospital and Loki is scared to death that he'll get out before he's one hundred percent better."

Steve blinks a few times. "Oh," he says at length. "That is…unfortunate."

Tony shrugs. "I suppose. Do you have any other reasons that you want Loki and me to break up besides the ones in the message?"

Steve gives a sad smile. "You never were into small talk when you were angry."

"Nice of you to notice."

He gives a small sigh. "No, there's really nothing. Did you…actually think about it?"

"I haven't had time to. I listened to it less than half an hour ago."

He nods. "Are you _going_ to think about it?"

"What if I don't?"

"Then we are not going to get along very well in the next few weeks. I'd be fine if you thought about it and decided that yes, you really do, but if you're just going to ignore it and be angry at me then I don't want to deal with it."

Tony sighs. He's completely in the right in saying that. "I can think about it," he says. "I can't tell you exactly how much or when, but I will."

"You can't put it off too much, Tone… This isn't something you can wait for. You can't keep saying 'I love you' when you don't."

Tony bites the inside of his cheek. "I know."

"But will that make you think any faster?"

"Probably not."

The blonde sighs. "Well, one step at a time, I guess."

Tony swallows. "Are we going to pretend this all never happened until I come up with an answer?" he asks.

"I…don't think I can do that."

"Then what, we don't talk?"

"No, no, that's too extreme for this. Let's just…treat it how it is. You're thinking about it and I'll bite my tongue like I did when Natasha got her abortion."

Tony nods. "I guess that's the best way to handle it…"

Steve is silent for a moment. "We're just going to mostly ignore each other, aren't we?"

Tony breathes a laugh. "Yeah, probably."

"You're still my best friend, Tone."

"You too, Steve. You got Bucky, right?"

He nods. "Bucky, Peggy, and Sharon. If this all goes to hell then I'll have them and you'll have Loki, Natasha, and…whoever else takes your side."

"I know Clint and Thor will, but I'm not sure what Bruce is Pepper will be able to do… I was talking to them before I came over here and they both disagree with you about the whole thing, but unless they somehow get insulted in the fight as well then they're just going to be stuck between us."

Steve suddenly smiles. "Think we can make a pact _not_ to mess everything up?"

Tony wants to smile back and say yes, but… "I really don't know, Steve. Romantic relationships really fuck everything up, you know? I can make one to do everything I can to _try_ and not mess it up, but not a straightforward _no mess ups_. Is that okay enough?"

Steve smiles shrinks. Not in meaning, but simply in size. It's sill just as genuine, but without teeth. Warmer. "I can live with that," he says, holding his hand out.

Tony stares down at it for a second before letting out a deep breath. "Here goes nothing…" He takes his hand, shakes it, and prepares himself for his walk into hell.

**XxX**

_November 30  
Friday…_

When everything was finished with all of their friends and neither Tony or Loki had any bruises from baseball bats, Steve dropped Loki and Thor off at their own place. Tony asked about Thor's dog, too, and the blonde confirmed everything Loki had said. Honestly, how had he missed that? That's on the same lines as not knowing about Baldur.

Tony has no idea what's happened at Loki's place, but when Tony got home? Damn. Steve dropped everyone else off before going to his place, wherein Tony drove himself, Natasha, and Clint back to their place after he got out. Clint called Tony's mom and told her they were coming, so it was expected that Maria would be waiting at the door, but _Howard_? Tony didn't even think he'd notice. Sure, it's been Tony's fault all these years that they're distant, but they had said it wouldn't change, right? So why was he there?

It ended up just being that he was pissed off about Tony skipping four whole days of school straight in a row and then something about college and basically Tony's grades are now going to be checked every few weeks and if he doesn't have all A's or a damn good reason why they're below then he's in trouble. After that lecture he left, and Natasha and Clint had already ditched, so Tony was left with his mom.

She was very quiet through the whole thing, asking if he had gotten her message and then asking why he didn't call back, and he told her it was because his phone was off and in the trunk because he was making sure his boyfriend didn't relapse into suicidal tendencies. It was a little dramatized, but she just gave a simple nod before telling him that he was going to be grounded for at least a week for not telling anybody he left and also leaving in the first place. She would have been perfectly alright with him skipping a day of school to take Loki to the cemetery (Tony didn't ask how she knew those details yet; Clint probably called her when Tony was talking to Steve), but disappearing for four days was _not_ okay.

He gets to keep his phone for the weekend so he can keep in contact with Loki until he can see him in person (obviously Maria disagrees with Steve as well), so right now Tony is lying on this couch with his phone on his chest, waiting for Loki to call him. He texted to do so as soon as he could.

When he does, Tony almost drops his phone, ignoring Jarvis's snicker. He of all people ("people") should know this is not the time. "Hello? Lo'?"

"Tony Stark?" is the reply.

Tony instantly sobers as best he can. "Mr. Asgard. Hi."

"Are you wondering where Loki is?"

He grimaces. "I'm sure I could guess, sir."

"Would you like to talk to him?"

"Just for a moment, sir. I wanted to make sure he was okay."

"If I let you speak to him may I listen in?"

"Of course, sir. I have nothing to hide."

"Here is Loki, then…"

"Tony?" Loki's voice says.

Tony lets out a happy breath. "Lo', geez, that scared me. Are you okay? I mean…how'd it go?"

Loki sniffs in, and not the every day kind of way.

"Lo', are you crying? Oh hell, how bad was it?"

"Not too bad," he sniffs. "I just… We shouldn't have come back."

Tony sighs. "You know we wouldn't have been able to stay down there. We're not the kind to drop out."

"Actually, we are. We're just not stupid."

"That's true. You won't even be eighteen for another month, and I won't be for another three. It wasn't even legal for us to leave in the first place."

"I know, I know, but I hate this place. I never stayed here for a reason! The last time I tried coming back I ended up in the hospital for injuries I still have!"

"They'll go away, babe… You'll be okay. Did you get your punishment?"

"No, not yet. They said I was going to, but they're having me talk to you first, which means my phone's going to be taken, so I can't talk to you until Monday."

Tony nods even though he can't see him. "That's okay, I'm grounded too. My mom's just letting me keep my phone so I could keep in contact with you. I guess she realizes how close we are, too…"

"Steve's literally the only one who wants us to break up, then?"

Tony gives a sad laugh. "I don't know. Peter's probably second guessing too, now."

Loki snorts. "I'm not sure. I haven't talked to him enough. I won't see him until Monday either."

Tony sighs. He feels like he should tell Loki about promising Steve that he'd actually think about the whole thing, but he's got enough to deal with right now if he's in tears. So Tony will just…think about it this weekend and tell him and Steve what he comes up with on Monday."

"I love you, Lo'," he says quietly.

Suddenly Loki is yelling in the background, the phone far away from his mouth: "Hey! My own boyfriend is allowed to say that to me, you bastard!"

"Do not use such language in my house, Loki!" Odin yells. "I am not taking it for whatever he said; I did not even hear him! Your time is up!"

"Look, just because I told Tony _no_ to you trying to be a _real_ father doesn't mean you get to take it out on me like this! It's been an entire fucking mon—"

"DO NOT USE SUCH LANGUAGE IN MY HOUSE!"

"I WILL USE WHATEVER WORDS I FUCKING WANT TO!"

Suddenly there's a new voice, this one _not_ in the background: "Hello? Anthony?"

Tony smiles, but then grimaces. The yelling is still going on behind Frigga, but it's fading, so she must be walking away from it. "Hello, Mrs. Asgard."

"It's Frigga, dear. And I'm sorry you had to hear all that. My husband forgot to end the call when he set down Loki's cell phone."

"That's alright, ma'am."

"I'm sure for you it is. Loki had just finished telling us all about your trip, about the fun and talking about Mr. von Doom and also the very purpose you went down to Clinton in the first place. Though Loki will still be grounded for leaving without telling us and continuing to ignore those trying to get a hold of him—even _if_ that was the point—I would like you to know that I am very thankful for you, Anthony.

"Loki has always had a rough time here, as I am sure you know, but since meeting you he has opened up to Thor so much more. He and I could always hold each other, but even then we did not talk much except for the problem at hand. He tells me things now, when I see him, and it is…very nice. I know you talked to him about Odin all but a month ago as well, and though that did not work I am still very thankful for you trying.

"I just want you to know that, no matter what my husband says, you will still be a part of this family after all of this blows over. You have been the best thing for my son in years. Victor was never my favorite, but you truly care for him, and I am so very, very thankful for you. Is that clear, Anthony?"

Tony is stunned to silence, but he manages to choke out a yes.

She breathes a laugh. "I can tell you are stifled, so that is all the answer I expect. I would also like you to know that Loki quite literally told us _everything_ about the trip, so…no secrets."

Tony frowns, forcing words out of his mouth: "Everything, ma'am?"

"Let's just say that, after learning a few new bedroom vocabulary words from my son, I will never again be able to watch a baseball game with a straight face."

Tony snorts. "I, uh, he told you those too? I am so sorry, it, uh, I—"

She laughs. "You are both seventeen, Anthony. You truly thought that my husband and I would believe he's staying on the couch of his own boyfriend's house? I am just glad that it is not possible for a pregnancy and that it is you and not Victor—and yes, Loki also told us about the drinking and smoking and the _almost_ loss of his virginity. He came completely clean with us. It was…a lot to take in, but we will manage. Or I will, at any rate. He and Odin are still arguing in the living room."

Tony sighs. "I'm sorry, ma'am. If you ever want to get away, I'm sure my mother would love to meet you."

"That sounds lovely, but in times like these I must stick around to make sure that nobody ends up dead. Thank you for the invitation, though."

"You're welcome."

"It was lovely speaking to you, Anthony. I do hope that everything can go back to normal after this."

Tony smiles. "So do I."

"Now, Loki's phone will be turned off for as long as he's grounded, which we have yet to decide a length for. Probably just a week unless Odin wins against me. Goodbye, Anthony."

"Goodbye, Frigga."

Tony hangs up and sets his phone down on the floor. "Shit," he breathes.

"It didn't seem that bad, sir," Jarvis says.

Tony glares up at his censors. "Loki was crying and yelling at Odin and you say 'it didn't seem that bad'? Shut up, you piece of _junk_!"

"I'm sorry, sir."

"Whatever. Where are Natasha and Clint?"

The bedroom door pushes open. "Hi," Clint says, coming in by himself with Howard's pipe in his mouth, a tub of ice cream, two spoons, a box of tissues, and three movies Tony can't see from here.

"Where's Nat?" Tony asks.

"Sleeping. She's had a rough week."

"_She's_ had a rough week?"

"Yeah, she has. You and Loki have had a rough _day_ but the _rest_ of us had the entire week to worry about you." He sits down beside Tony. "I brought stuff that we can cry together with."

Tony frowns. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Girls do it when they're sad, and we're gay—"

"I'm bi."

Clint rolls his eyes. "And we're gay and a half, so I decided we should try it together. I've done it a couple of times, so I know it works." He sets the chocolate-vanilla swirl ice cream on Tony's lap and hands him a spoon, sets the tissues between them, puts his pipe out on the ash tray beside the TV, and holds up the movie case. "We don't have school tomorrow, so we can watch them all."

Tony frowns, looking it over. He's heard of the Notebook, he has no idea what Lost in Translation is, and…

He points to the third one. "That one."

"The Deep Blue Sea?" Clint asks. "Have you seen it?"

"A thousand times."

He sets it on the ground. "We have to watch it last, then."

Tony groans. "Fine. What are these two about?"

"Uh, the Notebook is about some poor dude who falls in love with a rich chick and they end up separated in the end, and Lost in Translation is about a washed up movie star meeting a neglected wife in Tokyo and it's pretty much just about the week that they hang out. They don't get together either, in the end or anywhere else. They get close, but not like that."

Tony sighs. "You choose."

Clint smiles, setting down the second one. "The Notebook it is, then."

**XxX**

_November 30  
Friday…_

Five hours, twenty-two minutes, three bathroom breaks, and three-hundred-thousand tissues later, Tony has never cried more in his entire life. He's also never finished an entire tub of ice cream on his own (Clint went and got his own before pressing play on the second movie because Tony refused to share with him), but that's not as big of a deal.

All Tony knows at the end is, if anything really does happen between him and Loki, he'll still have his movies. Maybe Clint won't be there to watch them with him from six at night all the way till midnight, but he's got DUM-E and Jarvis for that—and Phil, if he has nothing better to do.

But Phil has Sigyn, now, so they can't hang out as much. Not that they did a while before, since Tony got Loki… They're drifting from everybody. Maybe they've got each other, but because of that, nobody else has _them_. They're drifting because they don't "need" anybody else but each other. Sure, them getting together brought the others together, but now that's all they've got.

Hell is just getting all the more closer.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: alriiight, November is finally over! Geez, that took forever. Also, yes, Lost in Translation has Scarlett Johansson in it, but shh!

PS my description of the Notebook is from the internet because I've never actually seen it whoops


	22. To Last A Lifetime

**22: To Last A Lifetime**

_December 3  
Monday…_

Tony thought about it. Tony really, truly thought about it. And in the end, what did he decide? That Steve is an idiot and deserves a smack upside the head. Also that he's definitely in love with Loki, no matter how short he's known him. People fall in love all the time, and if they've gotten through all of the shit they've been through together, then they'll be _fine_. Steve just had a second guess because they ditched for a few days, which makes sense. It's stupid, but it makes sense.

It's weird driving to school in the Jeep without Loki, but Natasha and Clint make up for that with all of their talking about the homework he and Loki are going to have to make up. Thankfully Bruce got a hold of him on Sunday (Tony gave his phone to his mom after he found out that Loki wasn't going to have his anyway) and told him how he forgot to mention earlier that he's been collecting all of Tony's homework from his classes since Tuesday and then kept all of his own after he got them back from the teachers, so Tony doesn't have to get any of it by himself. He just has to copy off of Bruce and then actually start busting his butt to actually do all of his homework and go to all of his classes so his dad doesn't kill him.

As usual, Tony, Natasha, and Clint were all the last ones to the lunch table, and while Clint could go straight to Bruce and Natasha straight to Thor, Loki wasn't there.

"Loki's working on the homework he missed with Gwen and Peter," Pepper had said as Happy played absentmindedly with her hair. "You won't see him until later."

Now its lunch, though, and Tony hasn't even seen Loki in the hallway. He was tardy twice while waiting for him at his locker, too, but he didn't show either time.

"I'd text him, but neither of us have our phones!" Tony whines, leaning against Thor. He's the closest to him, because he's not about to lean against Steve. The blonde doesn't know he's made his decision yet. Tony's saving it until the end of school.

"He's still with Gwen and Peter," Pepper says.

"How do _you_ know that?" Clint asks.

"Gwen texted me."

"You guys text?" Steve asks.

"Just small talk, when we don't have anything better to do—also to keep Tony from searching the entire school."

Tony smiles. "Where is he?"

"I got the impression I'm not supposed to tell you, but I am anyway: they're in the literature through film room."

Tony jumps up. "I will see _you_ chumps another time!" It takes a while to get to the room, but he manages. Tony peeks in the window on the door before swinging it open, smiling brightly.

Until Loki looks up, showing off the tears on his cheeks.

"Loki…" Tony begins, but he changes right away: "I'm interrupting something," he says quietly.

"Not really," Peter says just as quiet.

Loki is up and walking passed Tony in less than a second, pushing out of the door with Gwen right behind him.

"Did I do something?" Tony asks Peter.

But Peter just looks down, not saying a word.

Tony can't remember the last time he ran so fast, swinging around in front of Loki and Gwen.

"Loki," he says, taking both of his hands. "Please."

Loki bites his bottom lip to keep from crying harder, throwing his arms around Tony's neck.

Gwen gives nasty looks to anyone watching them, but Tony does his best to ignore everybody else as he wraps his arms around Loki's waist to hold him back. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I am," Loki whispers. "I can't do this, Anthony."

Tony frowns. "Can't do what?"

"Us. Not during this."

Tony freezes before managing to pull away just enough to see Loki's face. "You mean…?"

Loki nods, dropping his arms from Tony's neck. "Let me explain."

Tony bites his tongue, keeping his arms around Loki's waist, and nods.

Loki swallows once. "I was thinking about what Steve told me, and I decided that, at least while we're grounded, we should…" He averts his eyes. "Stay away from each other."

Tony sputters a little. "But, but, you, I…" He stops. "I thought about it too, Lo', and I…I didn't come to that conclusion at all. I love you, Loki, I…" He let's go of Loki's waist and holds up his left hand. "We're getting married!" He knows they're not _really_ at this point, but still…

Loki looks at the string there before looking down at his own. Tony took a shower this morning, and he can tell that Loki did too by his hair; both of the strings are dry now.

"I'll keep it on," he says, pushing Tony's hand down. "But for as long as I'm grounded…" He takes a step back. "We're on a break."

Tony bites his tongue for a few seconds to keep from crying. "Okay," he says, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I should see you in a week, then."

Loki nods. "At the minimum."

Tony nods back, looking down at the colorful tile beneath his feet. It's almost impossible to ignore the stares around them, now, even _with_ Gwen helping them out.

"Hey."

Tony looks up.

Loki holds up his own hand. "You'll never see it off."

Tony forces a smile, but Loki's words don't help. "Mine either."

Loki takes Gwen's hand as they walk away, back to the classroom that Peter is in.

Tony stands there, kicking at the tile, until the bell rings, upon which he walks straight to the doors to get out of this place.

He dials Steve's number.

"Tony, hey, what's up?"

"You got half your wish, Steve," Tony says, swinging into the driver seat of the Jeep.

"I—what? What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Loki's and my relationship."

Steve is silent for a moment. "Where are you?"

"Leaving."

Just as he hangs up, the passenger door of the Jeep opens to reveal Happy, of all people. He gives Tony a warm smile, leaning against the seat.

"Hi?" Tony says.

"Hi!" Happy says back. "I saw you and Loki talking. It didn't look pretty, so when you left I decided to make sure you didn't drive angry."

"I'm not angry, I'm—"

"Yes you are."

Tony sighs. "Maybe a little bit, but I'm more…sad, to put it simply.

Steve suddenly shows up, breathing heavily. "Happy, bless your quiet soul!"

Happy stands, smiling. "Steve, hi! Guess coming out here was a good idea. He's all yours, blondie." He gives Steve's shoulder a friendly punch as he walks off to go back inside the building.

"Yeah, yeah, thanks," Steve says absentmindedly, swinging into the passenger seat. "Okay, what's this about my wish? Something about you and Loki?"

Tony bites his tongue again. "For as long as Loki is grounded, we're on a _break_."

"What? What for?"

"Because of _you_! he thought about your fucking text message and decided it'd be best if we _stayed away from each other_!"

Steve bites the inside of his cheek. "Yeah, uh… I guess that is my fault. But I mean…just a week, right? You can take that time to think about it yourself and—"

"I _did_ think about it, Steve! I decided just yesterday!"

Steve blinks at him. "You're sure?" he asks. He knows the answer without even asking.

"I love him," Tony says quietly, pushing his fingers through his hair. "I don't fucking care if it's been two months, we've been through enough to last a lifetime. Being rescued from Thor, Natasha, and Clint back at the very beginning, when he found out about Phil and just laughed instead of thought about how weird it was that I was so close to a teacher, when he forced me to go to the movies with him and Gwen because he knew I didn't get out enough, when he came to my first chess tournament and saved us from Thor…" He trails off. "I haven't been to anything at the school that's chess involved in _far_ too long. Wow. Maybe I'll do that Saturday."

Steve smiles. "That's a good idea. Go on, I liked hearing about your timeline. Proves a few things for my own thoughts."

Tony rolls his eyes. "When he accidentally fell asleep on my couch and I blew you guys off for our own movie, when…damn. That's the day that Natasha came over for the first time. Was that really only a week into meeting Loki?" He laughs. "Wow. And then the next day Clint moved in, too, and we all became friends and…" He laughs again. "This is why it doesn't feel like two months, Steve."

Steve nods. "Yeah, I guess you're right. What came next?"

Tony shrugs. "It got kind of boring for a while after that, just settling in and whatnot, but I do remember Natasha's abortion on the thirteenth of October and your pissy attitude, then the big costume shopping party that got all of our spirits lifted, and then the way you and Thor glared at Loki and I when we were holding hands…" He sighs. "We hadn't even addressed anything then; I was just taking him with me to go see Phil in the hospital after his car accident and grabbed his hand to pull him after me."

"Really? That was it?"

Tony nods. "We didn't address our feelings until the same day that we had sex for the first time."

Steve rolls his eyes. "I suppose you did have the right background to do that on the first day of getting together."

"Hey, at least we're still together and it wasn't just pent up sexually longing that evolved into friends with benefits because Loki was still in love with Victor or whatever."

"That's true. What happened next?"

"Oh wow, a lot of stuff. Before we got together, I mean. I went shooting with you a lot, hung out with Phil a _ton_, went to cake decorating with Pepper… A whole bunch of crap. Then on the twenty-seventh—I've been keeping track, thanks—Natasha and I got Bruce and Clint together, and later that day Loki beat me at chess for the first time. That's why we got together. I told him thank you."

Steve purses his lips. "You only thank Pepper. You told us about that in the cafeteria."

Tony nods. "I know. That's probably why he kissed me. He started it, but we both damn well ended it. He would have stayed, but he was doing something with Peter, so he didn't get back till later. The next day Phil walked in on us playing video games, and that's when I found where the graves of Loki's parents were. We didn't go until last week, obviously."

"Wow, that long ago and you didn't go until now?"

Tony nods. "It just didn't fit. Anyway, we were invited to Flash's party about then, and I think that was also the day we went on a jog and ran into Loki and Natasha at Natasha's place. Remember when Loki beat up Drakov, Natasha's dad?"

Steve laughs. "Yeah, wow! That little guy sure can pack a punch."

Tony smiles. "I know. I box, he street fights. How fun. That's also when Howard and Odin found out about us, though…" He presses his lips into a tight line. "Odin wanted Loki to go home that night, and I was going to go with him, but… We fell asleep on my couch, so he left without me. That was the night that he got beat up by Amora and Skurge."

Steve sighs. "Yeah, I remember that… He's almost all better now, isn't he?"

Tony nods. "He should be completely healed within this month."

Steve nods back. "What happened, anyway? I mean, what did you do? All I remember is that you called me during class."

Tony laughs. "Phil pulled me out of class and drove me there so I wouldn't crash on the way. I'm pretty sure I threw up twice that day." He breathes a laugh. "Anyway, Phillips and Dum-Dum went over to talk to him to see if they could find out who had done it, but Loki told them he had no idea even though he knew _exactly_ who they were. Apparently Amora and Skurge had been threatening him with doing that for _years_ and they finally carried on with it." He sighs. "That's also the day I met Loki's adopted mom and made a _way_ better impression on his dad, when I ran into Darcy, and that time that we were found by those four kids. I don't remember all there names."

"Hel, Jör, Fen, and Sly," Steve says.

Tony grins. "I mean their _full_ names, but that's good enough. Natasha got pretty pissy after that, actually, because she was annoyed Loki had never told her anything. They were all a _lot_ closer than I thought they were back at the beginning. It was just him and Thor that had their problems. Anyway, what also happened in that day was us finding out about how Amora and Skurge were going to be at Flash's party. Remember the whole Avenger's Initiative?"

Steve laughs. "Wow, I totally forgot about that. We sure had a ton of fun with _that_ one."

Tony smiles. "Yeah, we did. I met Baldur the next day, and…" He trails off. That's also when Tony heard about Loki's suicidal tendencies, but he's not _about_ to say that out loud. "That was the big fight."

"The one you _weren't_ supposed to fight in, you mean?" Steve asks.

"I had to! You guys needed me!"

Steve laughs. "It's okay, Tony. It was just Loki who didn't want you to. Do you still have those pictures?"

Tony smiles. "Yeah, they're still on one of my camera's memory chips. I'll have to print those out and put them in my scrapbook."

Steve blinks at him. "You have a scrapbook?"

Tony rolls his eyes. "It's not important. Just don't go through it when it's done unless you want to see Loki's cock."

Steve wrinkles his nose up. "Understood. What happened after you got let out of the slam?"

Tony shrugs. "Went home. Actually, later that night I found Loki going through the small amount of family photos we've got, and… Wow. Wasn't the next day when Howard had that talk with all of us and I ran out of the room?"

Steve purses his lips. "Yeah, that was, wasn't it? Didn't you and Loki have sex in a closet?"

Tony smirks. "Didn't I totally get you laid?"

Steve rolls his eyes. "You also found out that you're distant from your dad because of yourself as a child, so let' just skip the rest of that day."

Tony frowns. "Buzz kill," he mutters. "Loki and I went to his old orphanage the next day, and it was sort of awkward with him hanging out with a few old friends, so I went shopping before we got back to my place and met Phil's girlfriend. After that was…" He laughs. "The month we started doing the holiday thing. Going to the museum even though Loki hates them, shooting, turning off Jarvis, remembering Loki's a vegetarian, Natasha visiting her dad to make sure being apart is what's best for them, when you and I just hung out on Veteran's Day, our Back to the Future marathon, when you and Loki went to the nursing homes, when you and I gave the cactus to Erskine, and…" He laughs. "You weren't there for that, but we cleaned out the fridge at my place, and Howard just stood in the doorway a few times and watched us with confusion. After that was some sort of button collecting thing, Loki winning World Kindness Day because Natasha and I were assholes to you, playing with the Ouija board and getting our palms read, and then Bruce and Natasha's birthdays on Thanksgiving!"

Steve laughs. "There are two types of people!"

Tony laughs too, remembering how Clint said Bruce's side was Barney and Thor said it was DC's Joker. "And a few days later was when Victor called…"

"The day that you guys left to Clinton."

Tony nods. "And…here we are now. Grounded, on a break, and completely miserable."

Steve gives him a sad smile and pats Tony on the back. "You're going to go home now, I take it?"

Tony sighs. "No, I can't miss anymore school. My dad will kill me. I'm already grounded, I don't need to be dead."

"If we hurry we can make it before they'll be absences instead of tardies."

Tony nods, locking the Jeep and hurrying into the school, his backpack bouncing against his back, Steve off to welding and Tony to his French class with Pepper and Clint. Happy's no doubt already texted Pepper about how Tony was going to ditch, and then she probably told Clint. They've got a weird relationship; even though they hardly ever even talk, Clint does absolutely anything she says, not to mention calling her "Queen" since she'd be "the best one ever". Tony will probably never understand it.

**XxX**

_December 4  
Tuesday…_

Tony didn't sleep a wink last night. He spent the entire time drinking a beer and doing homework, and he found Darcy's number and texted her until she fell asleep around two in the morning.

When third period rolls along, Tony is literally dead on his feet as he goes into Phil's classroom.

"Stark," Phil says to him.

Tony looks up to see Phil motioning to go into the office in his classroom, so Tony trudges inside and Phil closes the door behind him.

"Alright," he says, sitting Tony down in his chair before leaning against his desk. "I know you told me all about it yesterday, but I'm definitely missing something. You actually seemed generally happy Monday, but today you're the walking dead."

Tony sighs, slumping down in the chair. "I didn't get any sleep last night."

"How much is that?"

"Literally none."

"What were you doing?"

"Homework."

"How much alcohol?"

"Just two beers. Loki doesn't like it when I drink."

"This is about Loki, then?"

Tony's too tired to give a shit anymore, so he just cries. He didn't cry last night, but everything had to crash down sometime, didn't it? So it might as well be when he's at his weakest.

Phil squats down in front of him, resting a hand on his knee. "What happened, Tone?"

"Loki and I are on a break!" he sobs. "A fucking _break_! What the hell does that even mean? _'I love you I swear I just don't want to talk to you right now.'_ What the fuck is that?!"

Phil purses his lips. "Did he give you a timeframe?"

Tony nods, wiping at his eyes to try and calm himself down. Dammit, he's tired. "Just for as long as he's grounded."

Phil stands up, grabbing a piece of paper and scribbling onto it. "I'm getting you out of my class and your gym class so you can sleep."

Tony frowns. "What? Phil, I can't miss anymore classes or—"

"I'll give you a copy of all the homework and make sure Banner helps you with it tonight for my class, but do you _seriously_ want to get yelled at for passing out in the middle of running around the gym?"

Tony shakes his head no.

"Then bunker down like a good boy and sleep." He goes to a cabinet and pulls out a blanket and a pillow, setting them up on the floor. "I'll let you sleep through lunch if you're still out, but I'll make sure you're up in time for French."

Tony nods, getting off of the chair and crawling under the blanket. "Thanks, Phil."

Phil gives a good natured eye roll. "Sleep well, Tone."

Tony is out before the door clicks shut behind him.

**XxX**

_December 5  
Wednesday…_

After doing his homework almost all night again, Tony is completely caught up. Four days worth of calculus that he could just copy from the back of the book, nothing in advanced art since he has Steve to help him catch up during class with the project they're doing, assignments in advanced chemistry that he could copy from Bruce or get the answers from Phil, nothing in PE (actually, he should probably make up two or three of the days by going for freezing ass cold jogs with Steve and having his mom sign a form so he can get a grade for that day), two packets in French that he had Clint help him with early enough in the night that he wasn't asleep yet, literature through film that involved getting a movie summary from the internet, and three AP Government assignments that he managed to do all on his own from the book. Needless to say, all of his teachers were very impressed that he had already done them and completely understood why he was so tired—not that they gave him any lenience for it.

Tony looked down at the ground all day to make _sure_ he didn't see Loki, not that he would have seen him anyway since his vision was blurry all day. Now school's out, though, and Tony is sitting in his Jeep. He's waiting for Natasha and Clint so he can—

"Dammit," he breathes, remembering that he's not bringing them home today. Natasha is going home with Thor and Clint is hanging out at Bruce's place. Just as he starts up his car, Phil walks passed.

"Hey, Tony," he says, smiling up at him. "Doing anything tonight?"

"I'm grounded, remember?"

"Good! Do you think Maria would be alright with it if I came home with you?"

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "You're not doing anything with Sigyn?"

He shakes his head. "She's busy tonight with some other friends of hers."

Tony smiles. "No, she wouldn't care. You haven't been over in a long, _long_ time."

"I know. That's why I'm asking. We've both been pretty busy with our relationships, huh?"

Tony gives a choked laugh. "Yeah, pretty much. I'll see you there, yeah?"

He nods, continuing off to his own car in the staff parking lot.

Tony parks in the garage and Phil on the curb outside, getting to the door right as Tony opens it for him.

"Mooooom!" Tony yells. "I'm hoooooome!"

Maria comes out of the kitchen. "Phil, hi!" She gives him a warm hug. "It's been so long! I'm glad you could make it out here. Tony's been so lonely."

Phil smiles. "I'd be lonely too in this big house!"

She laughs. "Do you two want anything to eat or drink? I've got some cheese and crackers out for snacking while I was doing the bills, and I could get someone to whip up some tea or coffee."

"I'm good," Tony says.

"Me too, thanks," Phil adds.

Maria nods. "Have fun, then!"

Tony and Phil go up the stairs to Tony's room as Maria goes back to the kitchen, Jarvis giving Phil a happy greeting and asking him how he and Sigyn are doing.

"Do you guys still talk on the phone?" Tony asks.

"Me and Jay?"

"Yeah, you and Jay."

"Not as often or I would have known that you stayed up all night. He called when you disappeared, though."

Tony rolls his eyes. "How about we just forget about that, yeah?"

Phil nods. "So, what do you want to do?"

Tony smiles. "You can help me with something if you promise not to laugh."

Phil cocks an eyebrow. "Go on."

"I'm making a scrapbook."

Phil blinks at him. "I'm sorry?"

Tony sighs. "Well, you didn't laugh, in any case." He goes and picks up his camera. "I have three memory chips full of pictures from when Loki and ditched and also a lot before, and I'm going to take some of them and make a scrapbook. You know, like housewives do when they have too much time on their hands?"

Phil wrinkles his nose up, and Tony is able to snap a perfect picture of it. "Really?" he asks. "A _scrapbook_?"

"Yup! I'll make sure I don't blind you with pictures of Loki in bed if you help."

Phil sighs before shrugging. "Alright, why not?"

Tony smiles, going over to his computer to start the printing process of the photos that will look good in the book. He loads the printer with the right photo paper, making it so that there will be three pictures on each printed page before cutting them out. Tony makes sure to shield Phil from the "inappropriate" pictures of Loki or of him _and_ Loki, pushing those under his pillow so he can do that part by himself later. Tony makes sure to give equal pages of the book to the four sections: Friends, the Unbeknownst, "Starting Over", and Sexy. Sexy is going to be filled with a lot of Loki, including everything from Clinton, so that way when anybody wants to check out their trip they don't go blind. Staring Over is anything not "inappropriate", the Unbeknownst is any of someone doing something without them knowing that the picture was taken, and Friends is anything outside of the other three.

"This is going to take forever," Phil mutters as he cuts out the Unbeknownst pile. "Is there even enough room for all of these in the book?"

"Yup," Tony says as he's decorating the cover in red, green, gold, and silver. He doesn't care if it's Christmacy, they're his and Loki's favorite colors, so there. "I printed out the exact amount. Just be glad I'm not making you go through the ones of Loki's dick."

"You're really going to put those in here?"

"I set aside three pages at the beginning of where each section will be so I can write the section title and, in Sexy's case, the warnings."

"Your mother is going to have a heyday if she finds this."

"She won't have as bad a one as Steve will."

"Rogers will just faint. Your mother, on the other hand, will have a stroke."

Tony smiles. "I missed you, Phil."

"I missed you too, Tone."

"Look, we're not gonna finish all this today unless you want to stay up all night again with me, so—"

"If you stay up all night again I'm not getting you out of gym."

Tony gives a good natured eye roll. "I was kidding. What I'm saying is, you should bring Sigyn over tomorrow."

Phil cocks an eyebrow. "You're sure?"

"Yeah, man! Gotta get to know her, you know? I mean, I _did_ have you first."

Phil shakes his head with a laugh. "Yeah, alright. I'll call her later and see what she's doing."

Tony smiles as he puts a red heart sticker over part of the gold on the cover. "Awesome."

* * *

End chapter authors notes: I…honestly have nothing to say for this chapter. It's barely ten at night but ugh idk my period started and I'm tired and I just don't feel like it. Review or don't, whatever you want. Love you guys, no matter the blood!


	23. You Know How It Feels

**23: You Know How It Feels**

_Nine Days Later  
December 14  
Friday…_

The rest of the week was…well, a lot of things, but the three biggest things are that it's tiresome, a little boring, and depressing. Nothing really happened, and while Loki's goal was probably to get Tony to hang out with his other friends more…it was sort of pointless.

Tony felt the tiniest bit of anger towards Steve, and the blonde knew it, so he gave Tony his space and they didn't go out of their way to see or even speak to each other. Then Pepper had Happy and Bruce had Clint now, and Natasha and Thor had always had each other. Clint did watch a few more movies with him (that man will enjoy _anything_ he watches), and Natasha got him to do some yoga to force him to breathe a little, _and_ Tony managed to force himself and Bruce to go to chess club…but for the most part Tony either hung out by himself or with Phil and Sigyn.

Okay, so maybe Loki's idea of his hanging out with friends did work out _enough_, but the idea still hurts.

Basically, being grounded in Tony's house means that, if you're anywhere besides school or home, you're in trouble. He _was_ at school for chess and he _was_ at home when he had friends over, which his mother was perfectly alright with. She knows he would have just locked himself in his room with loud music and a lot of bottles if he's alone anyway, just like he used to do. Just like his dad does…

Tony got his phone back on Saturday, but Loki's phone went straight to voicemail, so Tony figured he was still grounded. On Monday, though, after Thor had texted Tony to tell him that Loki was _un_grounded, Tony was excited for school for the first time since _last_ Monday.

Except that Loki wasn't at the table.

"Thor," Tony had said to him. "Do you…know anything?"

The blonde gave a somber nod. "I only learned just moments ago that Loki has been grounded for longer because our father does not yet want him to leave to your house. He is to be grounded until the end of school on Friday so that he may spend his weekends in freedom."

Tony was hoping the anticipation for the two week Christmas break (staring on the seventeenth) would leave a good impact, but not so much. He had trekked through four more days, going to cake decorating with Pepper on Wednesday, going to chess with Bruce on Thursday, giving a long overdue invite to Happy to come over (the man is actually a great boxer; Tony loves him all the more) _after_ decorating with Pepper, hanging out once more with Phil and Sigyn on Monday, and even forcing himself to go shooting with Steve, Peggy, Bucky, and Sharon on Tuesday.

Sigyn is very nice, and Phil wasn't joking about her love for pink. Tony's never seen her without at least a little bit of it on her clothes, which is fine, because Phil is always in one of his suits. Tony only catches him in jeans and a t-shirt on weekends. Sigyn is very proper, with impeccable manners that on occasion drive Tony up the wall. Phil is always trying to impress her with his own, which he typically has, but when he's with Tony they're usually forgotten. Now, with her around, Tony can't cuss, drink, or anything else "inappropriate" because she's a _lady_ and should be treated as such. It makes Tony all the more glad he's dating a guy. Maybe Loki's not _as_ immature as him, but at least it's a default if his "proper setting" goes out of whack.

When Friday finally rolls along, though, the first time Tony runs into Loki is during lunch in a random hallway. Tony _was_ making his way to the literature through film room (that's where he, Gwen, and Peter have all been the last two weeks) to figured out what's going on, but it looks like Loki was just making his way _from_ it.

After staring at each other for a few seconds, Tony licks his lips. "I missed you," he says, looking down at the tile. "I… You're not grounded anymore. Does this mean we're back together? Because I—"

A hand tilts his chin up, and suddenly Loki is kissing him, soft and sweet.

Tony smiles when he pulls away. "You could have just said yes."

"No, I had to," Loki says, pointing above them. "Mistletoe!"

Tony looks up to see that the plant is indeed hanging above them, and upon further inspection he finds that they're hung all _over_ the place. In fact, there are lots of Christmas decorations up. Has he seriously missed all of those? He was really out of it…

Now, though, he notices all of the décor, and he _also_ notices the "SUPPLY CLOSET" written on the door beside them, and it doesn't even take a second for him to get it open and shove Loki inside.

Loki instantly pins him up against the wall to kiss him fiercely, knocking over a broom in the process. That makes Loki pause, looking down at it.

He licks his lips. "We can't do this in here."

"We won't," Tony says, shaking his head. "We won't, just kiss me."

Loki does, weaving his fingers into one of Tony's hands and lifting it above their heads. Tony uses his free arm to wrap around Loki and splay his hand over his ass, pulling him as close as possible so they can—

The closet door opens, then, and Tony and Loki look over with wide eyes to see none other than vice principle Hill.

They smile awkwardly. "Hi, Miss Hill!" Tony says brightly. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"

She taps her foot twice, arms crossed. "If you get out of here right now and never come back I won't give you an excessive PDA handout," she says darkly.

Tony and Loki both burst into a fit of giggles before running out past her, the small sound growing into full blown laughter by the time they get to the corner of the hallway. They swing around it and slide down the wall, attempting to catch their breath. Tony looks down at where they're holding hands and smiles, stroking one of his fingers over the string there.

"I was afraid you were going to extend the break," he says quietly.

Loki gives him a sad smile. "You think I _liked_ being away from you? I love you, Anthony. The only reason I did it is because I knew we wouldn't have been able to do anything together anyway, and I needed to hang out with my other friends just as much as you needed to. I can't even tell you the amount of times I've cried in the last two weeks." He leans forward and kisses the tip of Tony's nose. "I could hear the entire message that Steve left you when you were listening to it, and he's wrong. You didn't fall in love with my innocent stage, you _hated_ it. You fell in love with everything about me, because you get to know somebody who lives with you better than you know yourself. You didn't fall in love with me because I jump out of bushes and scare your sunglasses off; you did because I _didn't leave you_. I know you fell in love with me when I beat you at chess and you thanked me, but do you know when I fell in love with you?"

Tony smiles. "When did you fall in love with me?"

Loki smiles. "Don't laugh, but it was the day after I rescued you from Thor, when I saw you in the sunglasses and the bandage across your nose."

Tony blinks at him. "You fell in love with a face you could hardly even see?"

Loki sighs. "Well, you didn't laugh, in any case. Yes, I did. I fell in love with your defiance and idiocy."

Tony snorts, looking up at the ceiling. "You'll be in love with me forever, then."

"I know."

Tony looks back down at him. "Yeah?"

Loki gives a warm smile that makes Tony want to melt. "Yeah."

Tony starts to lean in to kiss him, but suddenly one of his teachers walks passed and says, "Don't even think about it, boys."

They laugh and Tony kisses Loki's cheek instead. "What are you doing tonight?" he asks.

Loki smiles seductively. "Nothing. Why?"

Tony smirks. "Because it's been two weeks since we had sex and I'm going to explode if I can't fuck you into the new comforter set at _least_ once."

Loki breathes a laugh. "Well, I'm a guy too, and I think that that's a _brilliant_ idea."

Tony nods. "Great. Should we go tell everyone else?"

Loki frowns. "That we're going to have sex when we get home?"

"No, no, about being back together!"

Loki laughs. "I never know with you, Anthony. Yes, let's go tell them that we're back together."

Tony smiles, and he doesn't care who's around them, he leans forward and kisses Loki softly on the mouth. "I love you," he says.

Loki smiles, leaning back over to give him a hug around the waist. "And _I_ love _you_."

Tony smiles, pushing his fingers through Loki's hair. "Let's not tell them until the _end_ of the day," he says. "I don't want you to move."

Loki sighs happily. "I was thinking the very same thing."

**XxX**

_December 14  
Friday…_

Tony gives a happy sigh as he and Loki lie under the covers of _their_ bed, their breathing just slowed after their little "rough and tumble" under the sheets.

"Are you a cat or a dog person?" Loki suddenly asks.

Tony frowns. "I… I've never really thought about it before."

"Think now."

"Well, what are you?"

"Cats, though I've put up with Thor being a dog person rather nicely."

Tony laughs. "I really don't know. I like kittens more than puppies, but I like grown dogs more than grown cats."

"Except you'd never take the time to take care of a pet, so you're probably a cat person."

Tony grins. "Yeah, you're right. Why do you ask?"

Loki shrugs before changing the subject: "Know what we should do?"

"Mmm?" Tony replies.

"That bubble bath of ours."

Tony grins. "That is a _brilliant_ idea."

They each shrug on a pair of sweats before making their way down to the bathroom, setting out towels by the Jacuzzi sized tub. Tony digs around in a cupboard until he finds his completely full bottle of bubbles while Loki heats up the water.

"You should come over to my house tomorrow," Loki says as the water starts to rise.

Tony looks up at him with a skeptical frown. "Are you sure? Odin doesn't seem too thrilled about me."

"It's not you, it's that he poured his heart out to you back in October and it didn't work. Mother will be thrilled to see you, though. She told me about the talk she had with you on the phone while father and I were yelling at each other."

Tony nods, pouring the bubbles into the water. "I suppose I could come over, then. I can meet Mjölnir. Did he like his bowl?"

Loki laughs. "He already broke it, but I have been using my mug rather often."

Tony smiles and points over to the counter, where sits his from his shower last night after bringing in his glass of orange juice. "So have I."

"Did your mother like the pitcher?"

"I haven't given it to her yet. I was going to as a sort of peace offering, but it didn't get bad enough for one. I'm going to give it to her for Christmas."

"We need to do that, too. Christmas shopping."

Tony smiles. "Well, we each already got something for Natasha at the Village Crossing place, and you got something for Gwen and I got something for Pepper. We just need to go around and find something for our male friends."

Loki nods. "I already know what I'm getting you."

Tony laughs. "Good, because I know what I'm getting you too."

He pouts out his bottom lip. "You can't get me anything."

Tony frowns. "Why not?"

"Because you just spent a whole bunch on me this weekend and I'll feel really bad."

Tony sighs. "Alright, alright. I won't get you anything."

"You haven't gotten anything yet, then?"

Tony shakes his head no.

"Thank goodness."

Tony's lying, of course, and he's honestly a little surprised that Loki didn't catch it. He knows his boyfriend would have been bothered if Tony got him something big and expensive, so his Christmas gift was just going to be those matching "I'm not gay but my boyfriend is" t-shirts.

They both push down their sweats and Tony sinks into the water to sit against the rim, near enough to the faucet that he can turn it off once the water is the absolute highest it can go. Loki is in the process of putting his hair up in a sort of messy bun with a hair tie so he can keep it completely dry.

"After this we'll only have three and a half more things are our list left to do," Tony says.

"Three and a _half_?" Loki says, getting in and going straight over to Tony to lean against his side, tracing a finger over his chest.

"Yeah, because one of them was to get matching sweaters and those boyfriend t-shirts, but we've only gotten the sweaters."

Loki nods. "Oh yes. I bet we could finish the other three by the end of the month."

Tony smirks. "I bet we could finish the other three by the end of the year."

Loki snorts. "Smartass."

That's when Tony gets an idea.

"Loki! That's it!"

Loki could have easily made a joke about "it" being that Tony's a smartass, but instead he simply asks, "What is?"

"I'll throw a party, see? A Christmas dance, but we'll call it a _ball_. That gets classy ass ball and slow dancing off the list, right? And then the night before we'll all—I mean, you know, a lot of us—will have a huge ass sleepover with nail painting and pillow fights, and that will get huge ass sleepover off of it! Then we'll only have half of one left, which we can do as soon as Christmas is over."

Tony's setting a date _after_ Christmas because he doesn't want Loki to go out and get them beforehand, because then they'd have two t-shirts each.

"Then," Tony continues, "We'll all spend the day watching Christmas movies before having the couples dress separately. And I'll even get someone to announce couples as they walk into the ballroom! I mean, we've got a ballroom, but we've only used it a couple of times, so we might as well."

"You have a ballroom?" Loki asks.

"Yeah, it's sort of like the Sound of Music, you know? Except more blue and silver."

"I don't understand how I missed that."

"Yeah, well, now you know how I felt learning about Baldur and Mjölnir."

Loki laughs. "That's true. Are you planning this party to be on Christmas Eve and following into Christmas Day?"

"Well, it wasn't my _initial_ plan, since most families like to spend it with their _families_…"

"I remember it being mentioned that you, Maria, Bruce, and his own mother always have it at Steve's with him and _his_ mother, correct? Three mothers and their three sons. Well, I know my mother would love to have it with you all, and now that Natasha and Clint are with us it's going to be more than family anyway. So, if you're mother is alright with it, we could just have the ball on Christmas, and that way we'll be able to have all of our families together. Bruce, Steve, and their mothers come over here instead of going to Steve's, Natasha and Clint already being here, and Thor and I coming over with our parents. I have no idea if Howard attends these things, but I'm just assuming he doesn't, so if Odin is here then maybe he'll force himself to come along as well.

"The maids are doing all of the decorating, right? So just have them do up the ballroom as well. We'll have the sleepover on Christmas Eve, with the eight of us and then whoever else we want to invite, doing whatever it is we feel like doing. When the next morning rolls along we'll send all of us, not including in our initial eight and possibly a select other few, back home to spend the holidays with their own families, and _then_ we can have our ball. We'll make sure to invite Happy and his family for Pepper, and then Peggy for Steve since she's in college.

"For the gifts we'll have one of those exchanges, where everyone brings something and writes their own name on it instead. Then we'll bring around a bowl with the names of everyone there, and whoever's name you draw is whose gift you get! It will still get all of our things off the list, too."

Tony smiles brightly, swinging an arm over Loki's shoulder. "My mom would _love_ that. She never has parties anymore. We'll have to run it by her as soon as we get out of here, because I want to make really fancy invites and everything!"

Loki laughs. "You mean with your scrapbook materials?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you about finishing that!"

"Really? Without me?"

"Yeah, I… I invited Phil and his girlfriend over a lot. To pass the time."

Loki gives a drawn out "oh" and a nod. "I understand, then. You'll have to show me that after we talk to Maria."

Tony kisses the top of his head. "I'll be sure to."

Loki ends up falling asleep against his side, so Tony holds him until the water gets cold before waking him up. The bubbles are mostly gone by then, so there's no need to rinse them off. Tony dries himself off before helping Loki out and drying him off as well so he can focus on standing upright.

"Rough day?" he asks with a chuckle.

Loki breathes a laugh. "Rough two weeks, more like it. I didn't sleep much."

"Yeah, me neither, and I barely got enough _before_hand."

Loki sighs. "Let's never, _ever_ do this again. If we want the other to quit rejecting their friends for a few days we'll just _say_ so."

"That sounds like a _great_ idea. Now, let's go talk to my mom."

"Should we get Natasha and Clint, too? They can tell us if the idea sucks or not."

"Yeah, I'll text them to come to the kitchen."

By the time they get down with their shirts and boxers back on, Natasha and Maria are there, and Clint is in the middle of doing the dishes. He'll be off to his nightshift in a few hours. Tony and Loki are complaining about being tired when Clint only gets a few hours of sleep? Damn, Tony should just buy him off. It's not like Natasha's got a job.

"So, what's this about?" Natasha asks. "I was in the middle of working out in the basement gym."

Loki frowns. "You have a gym?"

Tony laughs. "Yeah, but nobody uses it very often. Steve and I box sometimes, but he's not very good at it, and Steve doesn't use it by himself because he works out with Peggy and Bucky now."

Loki groans. "I _do_ know how you felt! Why don't you just invite the three of them to use your place?"

"I know we're rich, but it's really old so all of the equipment is pretty out of date. Besides, I think Peggy's parents own the place they go to, so they already get a discount. I don't want to buy new equipment, so I'll let them stay as happy as they are with what they've got."

"_Anyway_," Clint says as he dries the few dishes there are from breakfast and whatever Maria ate for lunch. She doesn't go in to work at the salon at all anymore. "Are you going to tell us why you wanted us all down here or not?"

Tony nods. "Clint, do you _like_ working the nightshift?"

Clint shrugs. "It's not so bad. I'm the youngest there, so I just get sent home if they don't need me. I found an apartment a few months ago, but Maria said not to bother."

"I figured," Tony says, smirking at his mom.

She shrugs, holding Clint's pipe over to him so he can take a drag without getting it wet. Tony is almost even more in love with their platonic relationship than he is with his and Phil's.

"Is that all?" Natasha asks. "I still don't know why I'm here."

"No!" Tony says excitedly. "That wasn't even it; it just popped into my head. The _real_ thing is about Christmas."

Clint gives a cocky ass grin. "Yeah? Get me somethin'?"

Loki rolls his eyes. "We want to throw a party."

"A _ball_," Tony adds.

Maria's eyes light up like the sun. "A _ball_? You mean with dancing?"

Tony smiles. "Dancing, beautiful dresses, food, and multiple Christmas trees."

Natasha grins, but Clint and Maria actually squeal.

"I GET TO DO YOUR MAKE-UP!" he yells at Maria as he throws down the drying towel. He's done, anyway.

"I GET TO MAKE THE INVITATIONS!" Maria yells, the pipe flying across the kitchen and clunking against the floor, wherein the small amount of contents left bounces out. She gives a tiny giggle. "Pardon me," she whispers before going over to get it.

Before she gets there, though, Howard pops his head in. "What's that I hear?" he asks gruffly. "Invitations? To what?"

Maria stops in front of him, where the device lies at his feet. "Tony and Loki have an idea for a party," she says as he bends to pick it up for her, handing it to her before walking away without so much of a glance. "For Christmas."

"Ah," he says, going passed Tony and Loki to the fridge. He doesn't get anything out of it, he just sort of…looks. "Not going to Sarah's, then?"

Tony frowns. "Since when do you call Steve's mom by her first name?"

"Since I paid her last three hospital bills," he says offhandedly, eventually pulling out one of Tony's beers. He generally doesn't drink beer; where's his usual whiskey or scotch?

His drinking a cooler isn't the reason Tony sputters, though.

"Stop spitting, Tony," he says, twisting off the metal lid with his sleeve. "It's far too undignified for a teenager of your supposed stature. Are you going to finish telling us all about your plan for the holiday's, or is the view of my shoulders at your height really that inspiring?"

Tony's surprised look turns to a glare. "I don't see why I should tell you. You're just going to be in Hawaii for some stupid business trip so a bunch of cheats and liars can see how well you're doing with your stupid weapons testing facility."

"They're not holding one this year," he says, taking a swig from his bottle. "Besides, it's going to be held in the house that I pay for, correct?" He gives Tony a sort of _take that, bitch_ look that Tony's never seen on him before, walking back over to the door of the kitchen before leaning against the frame. "So, carry on. I have work to do."

Tony rolls his eyes and looks back at his _real_ family, carrying on as if Howard isn't even there: "Instead of going over to Sarah's this year, Loki and I were thinking they she, Steve, Bruce, and Rebecca could come here. Not just them, though. We can invite Pepper's family, Loki's family, and...well, basically a lot of people. Clint and Natasha will be here anyway, since they don't really have family right now, so it's already going to be more than usual, and it's no secret that our house is bigger than Steve's.

"When Loki and I ditched off to Clinton we made a sort of…bucket list type thing, and two of the things on the list were to attend a classy ass ball and slow dance. That's where we thought of having a Christmas ball this year. The maid's can keep decorating, like they do every year, but we can also have them do up the ballroom that we _never_ use, where we'll have the dance. We can make the color scheme blue and silver, since that's mostly the colors of the room. Green and red is…" He moves his hands around a bit, trying to think of an explanation.

Clint cocks his hip out and says in his best gay voice (not his regular voice; for someone so gay his voice is mostly like any other straight male voice), "_So_ last year."

"Precisely," Tony says, sticking his tongue out at him. "So, with the whole gift thing, since there will be more people than usual, we can do one of those dumb exchange things instead. You write your own name on the one package that you've wrapped, and then we'll walk around with a bowl full of all the names attending for everyone to pull out a single slip. Whoever's name you pull is whose present you get! Afterwards we can switch them around, maybe, if I get diamond earrings or something, but you know what I mean."

Maria claps happily, having moved back over to stand between Clint and Natasha. "Oh, that's a _wonderful_ idea!" She stops and sighs. "If only we had a way of getting everyone at the top of the stairs so we could announce their arrival like they do in the movies…"

Tony breathes a laugh. "I thought about that, too, but we're just going to have to do it at the door."

"Cinderella?" Natasha asks, looking up from her shoes. "Who gets to be Prince Charming?"

Tony grins brightly, but Loki throws his hands up. "If you think I'm going to wear a sparkling white—blue—_whatever_ color it is dress, you've got a thing or two coming."

Tony rolls his eyes. "I was thinking of Pepper, actually. The way Happy looks at her is almost humiliating, and if we can invite his family then I want to catch it on tape."

Loki smirks. "Is that another scrapbook I smell coming on?"

"Scrapbook?" Howard asks.

Tony blushes, but Maria comes to his rescue: "Yes, I made one this last week for Tony and Loki's Christmas present. It's not a surprise because they gave me all of the pictures I could choose from."

He nods.

Tony and Loki both give her thankful smiles, to which she returns with a warm nod.

"Does this mean you're not getting me anything?" Clint asks Tony with a fake pout.

Loki speaks before Tony can stick his tongue out at him: "We also have something about Christmas Eve…"

"There's _more_?" Howard asks, incredulous. "A ball isn't enough?"

Tony, Loki, Maria, Natasha, and Clint simply look over at him for a few seconds before turning back within themselves.

"For any of our friends that can come," Loki continues, "we were thinking about throwing a bit of a sleepover. We know its Christmas Eve and a lot of families are already doing something, so we don't expect everyone to be able to make it to that part. It's just an idea."

Maria smiles. "Another wonderful one. Who all do you want to invite?"

"Well," Tony says, "we were just going to invite our usual eight—sometimes ten—but that was with a different plan about the ball, so we'd probably just invite everyone who did the carwash with us back during November. We'd just have a few pillow fights and paint each other's nails…watch some movies…be all around rowdy teenagers and plus. Nothing illegal."

"How many was that, again?"

"Um…" Tony counts off in his head. "Including the four of us, twenty, if they can all come."

She nods. "Sounds like a good Christmas Eve, if I do say so myself. Do you want invitations for that, too?"

"No, no, I'll just send out a mass text for that."

She smiles. "So that means I need how many invitations for the ball?"

"Oi… You don't need them for any of us, so that knocks off a good chunk of people. We need one for Bruce and Rebecca, and—"

"Oh boy," Maria says, waving a hand to shut him up. "Let me get a pen." She bustles out of the room before returning with a pad and pencil, scribbling Bruce and Rebecca down as one invitation. "Okay, carry on."

Tony shakes his head. "No, no, just give it to me. I'll make sure to group everyone by family so you don't send more than one invitation on accident."

She nods, handing it over.

Tony has to ask everyone around him for a few names and the like, but eventually he gets the invitation list out for his mom:

_1. Steve (be sure to have him invite Peggy as well; she's living by herself, so there won't be any parents who come along) and Sarah Rogers  
2. Bruce and Rebecca Banner (make sure she knows she can bring her current boyfriend)  
3. Pepper and her grandparents, Henry and Janet Potts  
4. Thor, Odin, and Frigga Asgard  
5. Phil Coulson (make sure he knows he can bring Sigyn)  
6. Gwen, George, and Helen Stacy  
7. Peter and his grandparents, Benjamin and May Parker  
8. Happy Hogan  
9. Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster, and Erik Selvig_

According to Loki, who heard from Gwen, who heard from Pepper, Happy doesn't actually live with anyone. He's eighteen and moved out a couple of months ago. He doesn't know the details to it.

"You can put my name on the invitation for my family to make it more formal, if you like," Loki says to Maria, who smiles and nods.

He had to text Darcy about Erik's last name, which confused her, but he said she'd learn in due time before not answering anymore of her texts.

"Are those three related?" Maria asks, pointing to her, Jane, and Erik.

"No," Tony says, shaking his head. "Erik adopted Jane, and Darcy is just along for the ride. I also, uh, had a question about inviting two other families we know… Not small ones, either."

Maria tilts her head. "Anyone you like, I'm sure."

Tony nods, looking over at Loki. "I'm just assuming you know who I'm talking about."

Loki gives the biggest smile in the entire world. "Both of them?"

Tony grins back. "Yeah, both of them."

He nods fervently. "Hel and the others never have anything planned, she told me, and I can't imagine that Charles and his others will want to drive two hours to get here, but I have his number in my phone, so I can call him again to ask if it's a possibility."

Tony tilts his head a bit. "Again? You've already called him before?"

Loki blushes the tiniest bit. "We talked a couple of times during our break."

"Ah…" Tony says, looking down at the tile of the kitchen.

"Enough of that, then," Natasha says. "Hurry up and tell us who you're talking about."

Tony nods, turning to his mom to explain the families so she doesn't have absolute strangers in her house: "So, back when we ran away, there was this family that we met about halfway down…"

"Really nice," Loki reassures.

"In every sense of the word," Tony adds.

"Businessmen?" Howard asks from the door.

Tony turns to glare at him. "This is going to be a Christmas party, _dad_. I swear I will kick you out of your own ballroom if you try to make a deal with anyone."

He cocks an eyebrow. "I'd like to see you try."

"I'll help," Maria says darkly.

At that he walks out of the room, muttering something about "that's the last time I pick anything up for _her_".

"And who's this family that you met, may I ask?" Maria says to them.

"It was at one of the highway gas stations, actually. Erik and Charles Lehnsherr. They've got four kids named…uh…"

Loki takes over: "Scott, Jean, Ororo, and Logan."

Tony nods. "Adopted, of course. Also, Charles is in a wheelchair. They're very respectable people."

"I have his number in my phone, if you want," Loki adds.

She smiles. "No, I trust you both. I'll leave their invitation to you, Loki. I'll make sure to get a card and envelope for it, though. There were two families, though, you said?"

Tony looks over at Loki right away since he doesn't know a thing about them, who takes over right away: "There were four kids that I sort of…adopted within the orphanage, back when I was in there as well. Hela and Jörmungandr are fifteen, Fenrir is fourteen, and Sleipnir is thirteen. None of them are related by blood, but they were adopted by three people by the names of Laura, Katherine, and Kurt Wagner. They're a little—ah—strange, but nothing that's going to make them awkward or unwelcome."

Maria smiles. "Anyone involved in your orphanage is perfectly welcome here, Loki. Go ahead and write all…" She counts off. "Four children each, my word. Those poor parents. Go ahead and write all thirteen names down for me."

Tony quick adds them:

_10. Erik, Charles, Scott, Jean, Ororo, and Logan Lehnsherr  
11. Laura, Katherine, Kurt, Hela, Jörmungandr, Fenrir, and Sleipnir Wagner_

Maria takes the list when Tony hands it two her, scanning it over. "Now, that's eleven invitations and… Forty-two people! A real party, how _wonder_ful. Forty-three if Howard decides to come." She starts to leave, but Natasha pipes up before she can:

"Oh, oh _wait_!" she says, practically bouncing up and down. It's probably one of the girliest things that Tony has ever seen her do.

"Dude, calm down," Clint says. "What?"

"A theme! Oh, a dance has to have a _theme_, right?"

Tony frowns. "I was just thinking…blue and silver?"

She rolls her eyes. "That's the color scheme, idiot."

"Yeah," Clint says cockily. "You gotta replace the 'S' and 'C' with a 'T'."

"Shut up, Clint," Loki says.

"Sorry."

Natasha rolls her eyes again. "Does anyone have any ideas?"

"Oh, wow, I have one," Tony says, raising his hand a little. "How about…" He shrugs. "Christmas?"

Loki smacks the back of his head. "Go to your room and think about what you just did."

"Alright, alright," Tony mutters, rubbing the place that Loki hit. "I still pitch that idea, though."

"I vote the old Victorian era," Clint says with a shrug.

Loki smiles. "I like that one."

"Where is anyone going to get an old Victorian era dress, though?" Tony asks.

Clint purses his lips. "Damn."

"Shame," Maria says with a sigh. "It would be fun."

"I know!" Natasha says. "Disney princesses!"

The room falls silent.

"What?" Tony says.

"Not, like, literally. We don't all have to dress up as a princess. None of the guys, anyway. I mean, they can if they want to, but I…" She sighs. "The girls dress up as close to a princess or villain as they can or feel like, and whoever their date is just wears a suit with a tie the same color as whatever dress they're wearing. We already wanted Pepper to be Cinderella, right?"

"What about the gay ones?" Clint asks. "The three of us and Bruce won't get a princess themes."

She gives him a look. "I'm sorry, did you _want_ to dress up like Sleeping Beauty?"

"She'd certainly fit me best."

She punches his shoulder. "Never _mind_. Anyone without a date who's going to be a princess can just wear whatever color of tie that they want."

"Won't that make it _extra_ high school dance-ish?" Tony asks. "A _Disney princess_ theme?"

She shrugs. "Probably. Is my idea stupid or not? We won't have any paper plates with Snow White on them or clear plastic glasses to make it look like Ariel is _really_ swimming, but I just mean the _clothes_. You don't even have to make the invitations Disney themed, you just have to put in the number they'll call to give who they want to be themed as."

Tony rolls his eyes. _Themes_. Schemes were just find, thanks.

"Whose number would that be?" Loki asks.

She smiles. "Mine!" She frowns. "Actually, no, let's make it Pepper's. That way she can keep a list and nobody will come as the same character."

The room stays silent for a moment before Tony speaks: "You know what?" he says, uncrossing his arms and throwing one over Clint's shoulder. "Why the hell not?"

Loki smiles. "Yes, you're right. Why can't we?" He turns to Natasha. "Who do you want to be?"

She smirks. "Jessica Rabbit."

"Wow," Clint says. "I never would have guessed _that_ one."

She hits him again.

"Alright, alright, enough of that," Maria says, patting Natasha's hand lightly. "I think it's a splendid idea. What's Pepper's number now, Tony?"

As soon as she's written it down she bustles out of the kitchen, humming the Golden Afternoon song from Alice in Wonderland under her breath.

Tony smiles after her before turning to his other three friends. "I'll call Pepper. Do we have everybody's numbers for the sleepover if we combine our contacts?"

"Probably," Natasha says.

"Let's get to work, then. We have a long mass text ahead of us."

**XxX**

_Nine Days Later_

_December 23  
Sunday…_

Two days after Tony and Loki pitched their Christmas and Eve ideas, Maria has gotten all eleven invitations sent out, and Tony, Loki, Natasha, and Clint have gotten replies back from who they texted about the sleepover, all with if they're already busy or not. The list of attendees now consists of everyone who was at the carwash except for Sif, Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg, and Flash, who all already had plans in advance. Darcy is devastated that Fandral can't make it (they're not dating, but they're getting there), Jane is sketchy about coming but is going to because Darcy is making her, and he invites Happy as well.

Then, about a week later, when all the post has arrive to the houses (even the Lehnsherr's), Maria finds that _all_ of the eleven invitations sent out have responded with "yes". Loki called Charles right away to confirm it, and Pepper (who was at Tony's at the time of the news) got a call from Gwen a couple hours later to tell her all about how she had to beg to get her parents to go. Her dad can get pretty uptight about things (especially when these things are the people you spend the night in jail with), but he eventually caved. Pepper also got calls in about whom everyone wanted to be, but Tony isn't dressing up like a princess so he doesn't really care.

Bruce and Steve's families would have been able to anyway, but now their hope is that Sarah can stay away from the hospital for the rest of the Christmas season. Rebecca's current boyfriend can indeed come, and Bruce reassured them all that he actually _likes_ this guy. His name is Remy LeBeau, from Louisiana, and he can speak perfect French and is an amazing card player. So far he sounds like Tony's favorite, too.

Loki said that Charles said that the other four members of his family are _thrilled_ to come to their party, seeing that they don't have much of an extended family but for a few old friends that happen to live in New York anyway. They'll be coming up a few days early so they can see them before coming over to Tony's for the party. Tony made sure that Loki told him they were _welcome_ to use any of the millions of guest bedrooms for their stay, to which he replied with a need for one _after_ the party so they don't have to drive back home at whatever ungodly hour the party ended (they didn't have a set time, yet; just a starting time).

Darcy, Jane, and their Erik (hopefully having two won't get too confusing) can come because their holidays are always so small since they don't _have_ any family anywhere else, and Peter and his grandparents usually celebrate alone as well, so their two families were excited to share the holiday with a few (a lot of) extra people this year as well.

And then it's…well, it's the eve of Christmas Eve, and Tony, Bruce, and Pepper have just gotten back from Tony's favorite store/where Clint works. Steve would have come, since he and Tony are back on good terms (even the blonde took back everything he said and is glad Tony and Loki are together again; Tony thought only girls had mood swings like that), but Tony's pretty sure he's actually doing the dirty deed at Peggy's place. Sarah is out of the hospital still, so they can't do it there. She's one of the only parents in their group that actually cares about her kid having sex. Gwen's parents and Peter's grandparents probably care too, and Rebecca at least _used_ to care… But other than that, Frigga and Odin know about Loki with Tony and Thor with Natasha, and Maria and Howard definitely know about Tony with Loki. Clint's parents/aunt and uncle don't count, Natasha's dad doesn't count, and Tony has no idea about Pepper's own grandparents.

Tony, Bruce, and Pepper just got back from shopping for food, and Bruce talked Tony into getting a Candy Land board game.

"Why did you want this again?" Tony asks, pushing it aside as they're putting all the food away so Howard doesn't eat it. Not that he would anyway, to be honest. Tony sees him eat only once a week of just random snacks, because usually he just eats whatever he's got stocked up in the lab underneath the separate garage. Tony doesn't go in there very often.

"Because nobody will want to play chess with you at the sleepover," Bruce says.

Tony frowns. "Loki will play with me."

"Possibly," a new voice says, and Tony, Bruce, and Pepper turn to see Loki, Steve, Clint, and Happy walking in, all four drenched in sweat.

"Damn," Tony says, holding his hand out so they don't come any closer. "I thought _I_ got sweaty during _sex_. What were _you_ guys doing?"

"Orgies, Roman style," Clint says, going straight to the sink to dunk his head under the faucet and drink at the same time.

Steve rolls his eyes. "We were utilizing the boxing ring you've got," he says. "Happy was showing us a few moves."

Tony smiles. "Yeah, he _is_ really good at that."

Loki nods as he shoves Clint aside to get his own drink from the faucet.

"What about you guys?" Clint asks as Happy blows Pepper a kiss, who catches it and puts it into her pocket. "Just finished shopping."

"Yup," Bruce says. "You off for a nap?"

He nods. "Wanna come?"

Bruce cocks an eyebrow.

Clint rolls his eyes. "To sleep _next_ to me."

Bruce smiles and looks at Pepper and Tony. "Naptime!" And he and Clint shuffle off.

Loki, Steve, and Happy follow after to shower and change back into their non-workout clothes, and by the time they're all back from whatever three showers they used, Tony and Pepper are keeping Maria company as she cooks dinner for their "party" of eight (leftover's for Clint to take to work, for Bruce to eat when Clint leaves, and none for Natasha when she gets back because she'll be eating at Thor's). They really haven't been using the maids all too much lately, seeing that Maria is having fun doing it by herself. They did do all the decorating, though, and they'll also be doing a lot of things for tomorrow and Christmas Day.

The week that they were waiting for everyone to RSVP they also did some clothes shopping, since this _is_ going to be a ball, and most of them don't have Disney princess themed dresses just hanging around in their closets. They also all decided to mention in the invitations not to bring any gifts, because there are far too many of them, and so little knowledge about the other, that a gift exchange would not go near as well as they all want it to. Tony will just get something for Loki, like he has planned. The only outfits Tony knows about are Natasha's, Clint's, Steve's, his, and Loki's. The four men are just all in suits, but they all have different colored ties: Tony's is gold, Loki's is silver (that was their brilliant coordination plan), Steve's is white, and Clint's is a deep and shimmering purple. Bruce's tie will probably be green, and Thor will be red because that's the color of Natasha's dress. She doesn't feel like buying anything new, so she's just wearing a red Salsa dress for her Jessica Rabbit. Tony's not sure if Howard's coming yet, but if he is his tie will just be black.

Tony also _finally_ went over to Loki's place, and it's a lot different on the inside than he expect. Mjölnir also started to attack him, but Thor stopped him in time and got into the animals head that Tony was a friend, so instead Tony got knocked over and slobbered to death. Oh, and Loki's finally completely healed up! Just in time for Christmas, like the doctor said.

Tony didn't go to this year's Homecoming, and he's not going to Tolo next month, so technically this is going to be the all-winter dance of his senior year.

Hopefully Howard doesn't ruin the whole thing.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: Still haven't made up any names, but I definitely made up some more family backgrounds. The most significant, though, are the families for Pepper and Hela and the other three. Because obviously Pepper's grandparents are never listed anywhere. So, Henry and Janet? Well, Henry (usually called Hank) is actually Antman, and Janet is the Wasp. And then of course the three parents of Hela and the other three: have absolutely nothing in common/no relations whatsoever. Katherine Pride is Shadowcat/Kitty and the middle dominant of the three-way, Laura Kinney is X-23 and the dominant because she's totally badass and sexy, and Kurt Wagner is Nightcrawler and I made him the most subordinate just because he's super cute and stuff. But in the fic they all have Wagner as their last name, as is Henry and Janet having Potts. Yeah!


	24. Huge Ass Sleepover, Check

**24: Huge Ass Sleepover, Check**

_December 24  
Monday…_

"Is everything ready?" Maria asks, running around the kitchen. "Oh dear, oh dear, I forgot to make the—oh, no, here it is. But what about the—oh, yes, it's already on the ballroom table, I forgot."

Tony sighs and rolls his eyes toward the ceiling with a smile. "Mom, seriously, calm down. Everything's already perfect. You went through it an hour ago."

"And an hour before that," Loki says.

"And then three hours before that," Clint says, giving her a smile. He's got the entire Christmas week off since he just works nights. "It's fine, Maria, honestly." He puts a hand on her shoulder. "You have done absolutely above and beyond and it's going to kill us if you get to infinity."

She gives an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, it's just…it's been so long since there's been a proper party around here. I'm so sick of Howard's constant business throws. If I have to wear one more black dress I'll go insane."

Natasha smiles. "It's a good thing you're Mulan, then."

She sighs, reaching up to lightly touch the way she's curled her hair. "If only I were Chinese."

Tony snorts. "Mom, honestly, you just have to wear a dress that makes people think of her, not change your race."

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry." She sighs, crossing her arms. "What time is it?"

"Just a few more minutes until five," Clint says, and instantly afterwards he puts his hand as close to her mouth as he can without actually touching her so she won't freak about her lipstick being messed up. "Yes, Maria, the pizza is here and on the table in the ballroom. Everything is _fine_."

She gives a happy sigh and hugs him. "I don't know what I would do without you, you stupid boy." She pulls away. "You'll help me do my hair again for tomorrow, won't you?"

He grins. "Remember how I told you to keep your entire schedule open for tomorrow?" he asks.

She gives of quizzical look. "Of course."

He bends down and pulls a large envelope out from inside of one of the cupboards and hands it to her. She takes it and rips it open as cleanly as she can, pulling out a card with so many different colors on it it's scary.

"Read it out loud!" Loki says with a smile. "Clint loves you to death, so it has to be good."

She gives Loki a pointed look. "I don't eve want to _know_ what Tony got for you."

Loki smirks. "He didn't get me anything. I told him not to."

Natasha snorts. "Like he's actually going to go through with that."

"Alright, alright, shut up," Clint says. "You're ruining the awesome gift I got mom."

The room of Tony, Loki, Maria, Clint, and Natasha (everybody else was instructed to show up at five; since the party is an all-nighter they decided not to start it at noon and make themselves so tired that they'd end up going to bed before ten) falls silent as Maria reads everything about the card:

"'To my wonderful mother'." She gives Clint a cute smile before opening the card, in which a slip of paper falls out and Clint catches it, holding it away to indicate that she has to read the card before she gets to know what the paper is. "The card itself says, 'I don't know how you take care of everyone around you and still have love leftover for the little extras that make life special. But, somehow, no matter how busy you are, you always stay in touch with what's truly important… That's why you deserve everything wonderful in this world—because you are so wonderful yourself. Merry Christmas With Love'. Aw, you even signed your name with a heart over the I!" She throws her arms out and hugs him again. "Thank you, Clint."

Even though Clint is totally stealing his mom, Tony is glad. Never as a child did he "have time" for her, and even as a teenager he isn't around her as much as he should be because he's always with Loki or anybody else that wants to hang out. Never once did Tony ever think to invite his own mom to make the scrapbook with him. She would have loved that! So Tony is glad that Clint came along to fill at least some of the void that Tony left. Whatever Clint gets her can't be as good as the pitcher he painted for her, anyway. Nobody ever knows what to get somebody who's rich enough to have anything they wanted, so he knows the best thing to get her is simply something homemade. Maybe the pitcher itself wasn't crafted under Tony's hands, but at least he painted it. You can tell because there are some places darker than others, and not in any strategic pattern. Tony's good at building robots and taking apart guns, not painting. He doesn't paint, he dyes metals. It's different.

Maria pulls away from her hug with Clint. "Now, tell me what the paper is before I kick you out."

Clint smiles and holds it up before unfolding it. It didn't look that thick, but it extends all the way out rather large. Maria scans it, her eyes getting wider and wider.

"Oh _Clint_!' she says brightly, throwing her arms around him again. "I can't believe you would _pay_ for all of this!"

Tony frowns. "What? What did he get you?"

"Just a few things we've already done before," she says. "It means so much, though."

"And these things you've done before _are_…?"

"Manicure, pedicure, and a hairstyle set up tomorrow for each of us," Clint says with a shrug. "I knew she'd enjoy it and I didn't know of anything to get her that she didn't already have."

"I know exactly what you mean," Loki says, rolling his eyes. "It's impossible to shop for somebody with so much money."

"Hey now, you guys have a lot of money," Tony says. "Your dad just uses it differently than mine."

"Precisely, which means I don't get as much of it as I want."

Natasha looks up from where she's staring at the tile and over to Clint. "You paid to get your own hair done? It's not even long enough to straighten."

"Oh, yeah, I didn't get that part for me. Just the nails. I can do my hair on my own. Just gel it in a few places and it's a masterpiece."

"You should do that with mine," Tony says.

He grins. "Yeah, alright."

Natasha opens her mouth to say something else, but the doorbell sounds throughout the house before she can.

"Oh boy!" Loki says, flitting off before anybody else can barely blink.

Tony and the other three go after him, smiling when they see the seven people shuffling into the door that Loki is holding open: Steve and Peggy, Bruce, Pepper and Happy, and Bucky and Sharon.

"Heyuh, Tony!" Sharon says brightly. "I trust the pizza got here alright?"

Tony grins. "All set up and everything."

"Awesome, I'm starving," Bucky says, bumping his fist with Tony's. "Long time no see, man."

"Yeah, we'll have to go shooting again sooner or later," Peggy says. "Other than the constant sound of bullets and the like it gets pretty quiet without you around to make your crude jokes."

"Bucky does his best to fill your place, though," Steve says.

Bucky grins. "What can I say? I admire you."

Tony laughs. "Good to know. Just go ahead and head off into the ballroom. Pepper can lead you, she knows where it is. All of our sleeping stuff is already set up, so go ahead and pick a spot near it all."

"Ballroom?" Peggy asks, following after Pepper. "Damn, I wish I was rich."

Clint follows after Bruce and Loki goes back to the kitchen with Maria so she can grab the thing that she was freaking out about earlier, and Tony and Natasha wait at the door for the others that will be showing up.

"They're so cute," Natasha says.

"There are actually six different couples you could be talking about," Tony says, "and I have no idea which one you are."

She frowns. "Six? I've only got four."

Tony nods. "Bruce and Clint, Pepper and Happy, Steve and Peggy, Bucky and Sharon, Clint and Maria, or Loki and Maria just walking away."

She rolls her eyes. "I'm talking about Steve and Peggy."

Tony grins. "Yeah, there are pretty great, aren't they? I can't believe it took Steve so long to finally ask her out."

"How long?"

"Oh, yeah, you weren't friends with us then. She started working at Baskin Robbins about three years ago in July, so we've known her for…two and a half years. It was love at first sight for Steve, but at first we were just more costumers in Peggy's eyes. Of course, we go in all the time, always have, so she actually started to get to know us. I'm not sure exactly when she started falling for him back, but it was…" He sighs happily. "It was so real, you know? You remember what Steve looked like. No offence, but he was one scrawny motherfucker. Still is, but at least it's getting better. So she had to fall for his personality, which I'd never catch myself falling for either. Anyway, it got really obvious to everyone _but_ Steve that she liked him too, and he didn't finally ask her out until you guys _did_ become friends with us. He's shy, you know?"

She nods. "Yeah, I know. I understand why, too. He's filling out really nicely, though. Did he always used to work out this hard?"

"No, not even. It wasn't until he met Bucky at the shooting range. Something about the guy must have sparked something in Steve to really do something, and here he is now." He grins, staring after where Steve disappeared into the ballroom. Music is blaring out from the open double doors. "My baby, growing up so fast."

Natasha snorts. "You sentimental bastard."

"Hey," he says, pointing a finger at her. "Sentiment is for losers."

"Which is why you're in love, I take it?"

"Don't give me that, you've been in love way longer than me."

She laughs. "True, but I find sentiment rather refreshing."

Before Tony can insult her back the doorbell rings three times at the same time that there are loud knocks.

"I'll bet you twenty bucks that that's Darcy," Tony says.

Natasha shakes her head. "No way, I want to keep my money."

Tony pulls open the door to not Darcy, but Thor, Gwen, and Peter.

He frowns. "Shame," he says to Natasha. "You would have made twenty bucks."

"Sorry," Gwen says. "I knew your mom was cool and your dad wouldn't like us anyway." They come inside with bright smiles. "Where are we off to with all of our sleeping crap?"

"Follow me," Natasha says, taking Thor's hand. "I can show you. We're just waiting for two more."

Loki and Maria come over to him then, Maria kissing his forehead and telling him to have a good time before heading up the stairs to where her bedroom is. Loki, on the other hand, stays with him.

"How good at dancing are you?" he asks.

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "What kind of dancing?"

"What dancing are you thinking about?"

"Clubbing stuff."

"Grinding and the like?"

He nods.

"Well, I was talking about Waltzes and the like, but I supposed I can know that too."

Tony grins. "I'm pretty great at clubbing, but the only truly formal dance I know is the Waltz. I slow dance all, but anybody can do that."

Loki steps up to him, licking his lips. "You'll have to show me those clubbing moves or yours later."

Tony grins and wraps his arms around Loki's waist. "I can show you them now, if you like."

The doorbell rings.

They laugh, stepping away from each other so Tony can open the door.

"Hiii!" Darcy says, lifting him up in a hug.

"Hey, it's Daredevil Darcy!" Clint voice says, appearing to join in on the hug. "And look, she brought Hurricane Jane." He pulls her over and pats her shoulder. "I know you don't like me, so I won't give you a hug."

She gives a good natured eye roll. "I like you plenty, I just don't like being touched by people I've only met once."

"Whatever, you hate me."

She puts her thumb and index finger close together and closes one of her eyes. "Maybe a little."

He laughs, taking Darcy's hand. "Come on, come on, we're setting up a Karaoke platform!"

"Karaoke?" Tony asks, taking Loki's hand and going after them. "I like singing!"

"Come along, Jane," Loki says politely.

"I'll also have you know," Clint says, "that out of the fourteen people here, you two are the only single ones, so whenever we start dancing, everyone will probably mix it up for a bit of fun."

"I call Loki," Darcy says.

Loki laughs. "If you can catch me you can have me."

"Oh, ew, running. Never min—ooh, pizza!" She runs across the floor, causing the four with her to laugh.

"What a girl," Tony says as Jane goes after her and Clint goes off to the platform that Natasha and Sharon are making with a huge trunk of sorts. Where they got it, Tony has no ideas. He's never seen it before.

"Pepper brought it," Loki says, seemingly reading his mind. "She stopped by a bunch of houses and got a lot of things that the girls coming to the ball will be changing into. Make-up, dresses, shoes, and the like."

"And there's only one?" Tony asks.

At that precise moment, Steve, Bruce, Thor, and Bucky come over with two others and drop them down.

"Ah," Tony says. "Much better."

"You don't happen to have a microphone around, do you?" Peggy asks.

"Actually, we do," he says. "Speakers, too. We're rich, remember?"

She smirks. "Brilliant. Set it up, yeah?"

He nods.

Tony holds his wrist up to his mouth so he can ask Jarvis if everything is already set up, who goes through the houses wiring system and tells him that yes, it is. Tony also set up a whole bunch of little cameras and the like so Jarvis could take pictures of this night and tomorrow. He'll probably end up making another scrapbook. Loki's already seen the one now, closing his eyes at any of just him.

Tony opens up a panel in the wall and pulls out two classic microphones and also a couple of headsets, setting them down on the three gigantic trunks. Where did Pepper even get these? Tony's never seen them so big before. And if they each needed two guys to carry them they must be _packed_.

"Who wants to go first?" Bucky asks, clasping his hands together.

"Meee!" Clint says, hopping up and down. "I do, I do!"

Bruce smiles. "What song?"

He grins over at Tony. "Jarvis can play stuff off the internet into the room, right? Because I need a karaoke version."

Tony smirks. "My AI can do anything?"

"Can he make a Spanish omelet?" Darcy asks.

Tony hunches over a little. "No, he can't do anything that involves physically touching something."

"Then he can't do anything, now, can he."

"Darcy, shush," Jane says.

She shrugs. "Sorry."

Tony holds his watch out to Clint. "This is one of the rooms that I don't have Jarvis linked into, but you can tell him through the watch and he'll set to it."

Clint takes Tony's wrist to his mouth. "Yo, Jay, hi."

"Good evening, Mr. Barton."

"I'm taking for granted that you can find Billy Joel's 'New York State of Mind'?"

"And for good reason, sir. Step up on your perch and I'll play it as soon as you're ready."

He grins, dropping Tony's hand. "You're so smart, Iron Man," he says, patting Tony's shoulder. "I have no idea what I'd have done without you."

"Have your own apartment, probably," Tony says with a shrug.

He rolls his eyes and jumps up on the trunks, swiping up one of the classic microphones. Steve moves the other two and the three headsets aside so he doesn't step on them. Tony grabs the classic microphones and sets them aside, and as soon as Clint looks ready the music starts to play.

Steve and Bucky go up afterwards and sing Toy Story's "You've Got a Friend in Me", taking turns on verses. Then Gwen makes Peter go up with her and sing Sonny and Cher's "I Got You Babe" (from a movie Tony liked enough called Groundhog Day; he does love Billy Murry), and Darcy sings the male part while Jane sings the female of Young London's "Let Me Go". Probably the most hilarious is when Pepper and Thor sing Ke$ha's "Dirty Love" together, Pepper making the absolute worst Rose Sebert and Thor not much better as Iggy Pop. They sing it fine, the song is just as far from their personalities as it can be. Happy downright refuses to sing anything, and Tony is totally okay with that after hearing him sing quietly along to AC/DC when they were working out. Even in whispers he's not good. So Tony finally gets up and sings the only country song he's ever liked in his life: Fake ID by Big and Rich.

And then Loki eventually gets up and sings "Drumming Song" by Florence and the Machine (of course), and Tony realizes then that he's never heard Loki sing before. There's been the occasional humming and the like, but never outright _singing_. Tony has never been more in love. Well, figuratively speaking, anyway. Loki's just a damn good singer.

"You're not going to go?" Bucky asks, elbowing Sharon lightly.

She, Natasha, and Peggy all grin at the same time, then, and to be honest, all three of them doing it at the same time is kind of scary.

"We know what to sing," Peggy says.

Sharon grabs Tony's wrist and says into his watch to Jarvis, "We want to sing ALCOHOL by the Millionaires."

Tony laughs. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Hell no!" Natasha says loudly, swiping up one of the headsets before literally flipping backwards and landing on the middle trunk. "This song is _our_ song."

Bruce wrinkles his nose up. "When have you even hung out _to_ have a song?" he asks.

"The carwash," Sharon says, grabbing a headset and stepping up as well. "Natasha had it playing on her iPod and Peggy asked her what she was listening to, and all three of us broke into lyrics at once. It's _our song_."

Bruce holds his hand sup. "Okay, okay, sorry, you can have it. I've never even heard of it."

Peggy grins, taking the last headset and stepping up on Natasha's other side. "It's a good thing we can all make ourselves sing just like them, then."

"I get to be Allison!" Natasha says.

"I want Dani," Sharon says.

"I guess I'm Melissa, then," Peggy says with a shrug.

When the song is over, everyone is going absolutely _mad_. Tony knows that Natasha can get crazy, he figured Sharon could, but Peggy? He knows she can fight like nobody's business, but he honestly never figured anyone dating Steve would even enjoy such a song. He doesn't even like it very much, but it sure is fun to party to. Even Steve looks thrilled about it. Every guy would be, to be honest—_except_ Steve, so the fact that he's whistling is hilarious.

"Sorry I don't actually have any alcohol," Tony says with a laugh when the three girls get down, falling all over each other in giggles. "I figured it'd be bad to have a hangover on Christmas, not to mention we've probably all got at least one person in each couple that wouldn't want the other to drink."

"That's true," Darcy says. "Jane would certainly try to stop me."

"Hey, hey," Clint says. "Did you bring your tazer?"

She grins. "I never leave home without it."

"Alright, now what?" Thor asks as Natasha collapses into his arms.

"I brought nail polish!" Pepper says loudly.

"No, no, not yet," Loki says, smiling at her. "Let's tire everyone up first."

Tony grins. "PILLOW FIGHT!"

Everyone is at it with the pillows they each brought for at least half an hour, and by the end there's a bowl of chips across the floor and the sleeping bags are all fucked up.

"Alright, wow," Tony breathes, collapsing onto his in the middle of the room from where it used to be. "Bucky, the chips."

He grumbles unintelligently, but he does do it. He knocked them over, after all. Everyone puts their sleeping bags into a huge circle after that, Pepper putting all of her nail polish, remover, and cotton balls in the middle. Starting from Tony's right it's Loki, followed by Peter, Gwen, Pepper, Happy, Steve, Peggy, Sharon, Bucky, Darcy, Jane, Thor, Natasha, Clint, and then Bruce back around to Tony's left.

"I feel like a girl," Sharon says, grabbing the lightest pink there.

Bucky snorts, being Mr. Boring and grabbing black. "Now _that's_ a real shame."

She throws her pillow at him, which he proceeds to throw as far away from all of them as he can.

Everyone grabs a bottle, some having to wait so they can share. Natasha and Thor end up with red, Tony with gold, Loki with silver, Darcy with deep yellow, Peter and Gwen with an ice yellow, Bruce with green, Jane with an ice green, Pepper and Happy with ice blue, Clint with a deep purple, and Steve and Peggy choose white. Is white Peggy's favorite color or something? Oh well.

"No wonder you like doing this," Tony says to Loki at length, blowing on his nails. "They're so pretty."

"Only one more step until you're fully gay, now," says Clint on the other side of Bruce.

Tony frowns. "What's that?"

Clint smirks. "Bottoming."

Tony and Loki burst into laughter.

"Well then," Tony says, screwing the top of the gold polish back on. "Seems like I was promoted to full ago a few weeks ago."

The room falls silent as they let Tony's words sink in, and Jane is, surprisingly, the one who finally breaks it: "I really don't know if I actually want to be friends with any of you."

"You probably should not," Thor says. "It can get quite dangerous."

"What," Darcy says, "like that big fight you guys had before Tony met me at the hospital?"

"Yup," Natasha says. "Not to mention that thing with Tony and Clint just then."

"You know," Steve says, almost absentmindedly. "Learning all about other peoples' sex lives. It's…" He stares up at the ceiling. "Refreshing."

Everyone blinks a little.

Jane chuckles. "I'll take you away with me, yeah?"

Steve looks down at her with a smile. "Just let me pack."

"I don't think so," Tony says. "Steve is mine."

Peggy levels him with a glare. "You wanna go?"

Tony gives a good natured eye roll. "You can keep him."

"So," Darcy says, snatching Bucky's black now that he's done. "I'm making bee stripes and we totally have to set up a dance floor later, but for now, while our nails are finishing, _I_ have an idea."

"What kind of idea?" Peter asks as Gwen paints his nails the yellow color of Snow White's dress.

"I know what she's thinking," Bruce says as he's painting Clint's right hand, "and we're not doing it."

"Aww," Clint says, pouting out his bottom lip. "Why not?"

"Because you've been trying to figure out what I'm getting you for Christmas and it's not going to happen."

Happy cocks an eyebrow. "Are we talking about Truth or Dare?"

"Yup," Jane says. "It's Darcy's favorite game."

"I'll play," Sharon says.

"Me too," Natasha says with an evil grin.

Clint grins at Bruce. "Will you play if I promise not to ask—_or_ have anybody else ask for me?"

Bruce sighs, capping the purple. "Yeah, alright."

Everyone else agrees as well, so Darcy gives a loud whoop before they begin.

By the time that the sixteen people have asked two questions each, and a few others having asked more because they somehow still had more question and/or dare ideas, Tony has gotten a lot closer to his friends than he ever thought he would or even wanted to. Poor Darcy's virginity loss was just a one night stand at some party a few years ago, and the guy she was with actually passed out underneath her right in the middle of it. Loki ended up telling everyone about his parents—his _real_ parents—and Jane was almost in tears, so then Jane and Darcy got to tell everyone about their _own_ adoption experience. Darcy never knew her dad, but her mom was a drug addict, so Darcy was eventually taken away at the age of eight by the state before running away from said state a few months later, being caught again, and then forced into an adoption agency. When she still wasn't adopted by the age of fourteen she ran away _again_ and managed to hitchhike to New Mexico from the heart of California, wherein she enrolled herself in public school and met Jane. They moved here to New York about two years ago, with Erik. Jane's wasn't near as exciting. Her parents weren't old enough to take care of her so they put her up for adopted, and Erik chose her before she was even in the agency for a year. She's lived with him ever since.

Thor was asked about the time Loki ran away to the playground and tried to take it over so Thor had to force him back home, Steve got to explain all about how he and Tony used to get beat up all the time, Bucky was dared to not go shooting for a whole month (to which he heartily declined), Gwen made Peter show off his gymnastics skills in the flat, open room—and then Natasha couldn't just let him beat her, so she ran after him and they had a little contest. Those were the only exciting individual questions, but Clint and Darcy did band together to ask a mass question: how every couple met and what their virginity loss was like.

Bruce and Clint explained how they first met before telling about their first time, in which Rebecca actually walked in on them. Apparently she just sort of stared at them while they stared back before she burst into laughter and walked out of the room. When they went downstairs she asked Bruce how long he had been gay, he told her, and then she offered him a piece of strawberry shortcake. Bucky and Sharon met simply because he was friends with Peggy and she had invited them both to work out—except when Sharon walked in Bucky didn't recognize her as Peggy's cousin right away, and he nearly dropped his dumbbell onto Peggy's foot. He was about to go over and say hi, but she came over first. He didn't talk for the first five minutes because he was so embarrassed. Jane's a virgin, and everybody already knows how she and Darcy met in New Mexico.

Peter and Gwen met during their freshman year on the rooftop of the building that Gwen lives in. Peter was working on a school photography project and Gwen just got into an argument with her dad and climbed up the fire exit to get away. When they ran into each other at school the next say they became inseparable. They haven't actually had sex yet, which Tony was skeptical about until Loki confirmed it.

Pepper and Happy's was very boring, just meeting during school at some student meeting thing when they were helping set it up for the teachers. Their first time was just like any time, in Happy's bed (since he lives alone) on a weekend. Natasha and Thor met _years_ ago, back when Natasha was eleven and Thor was twelve. Tony instantly thinks of the picture in Loki's wallet of him, those two, and Clint, with Thor in a braid, Natasha on his shoulders, Loki looking nervous as hell, and Clint in swim trunks and holding his makeshift arrow. _Their_ first time was a warm summer evening in the bed of Thor's pickup truck during their sophomore year. To be honest, it's completely appropriate for the both of them.

Most of the group already knew how Steve and Peggy met, but Peggy tells those who don't about her Baskin Robbins job and how long it took Steve to finally ask her out. Steve refuses to talk about their sex life, though. Good thing Tony already knows. Loki tells them all about how he rescued Tony from Thor and scaring him from the bushes, and then Tony told about Loki beating him at chess and kissing him when Tony thanked him. That whole story, blah yada blah.

"When did you bottom?" Clint asks.

"Back in Clinton," Tony answers.

Natasha chuckles. "Hear that, Clint? Tony bottomed in you."

"What?" Darcy asks, wrinkling her nose up.

"Clinton is my full name," Clint mumbles.

Jane giggles. "It's cute."

"It's a mouthful," Bruce says.

"I'll show you a mouthful," Clint says, bouncing his eyebrows.

Tony gives a good natured eye roll. That's Clint for yuh. Quick to change the subject with a sexual joke.

"Alight, alright, now what?" Pepper asks.

"I say we dance before we watch a bunch of movies in the theater room," Bruce says.

"Theater room?" Bucky says. "I like that idea.

"What movies do you have?" Happy asks.

"Anything you want," Tony says.

Loki snorts and adds, "Except that Tony only likes shitty romances where they don't get together in the end."

"Nuh-uh, they get together in Forever Young."

"I say we watch both Tron's before throwing in some Christmas classics," Steve says.

"I vote yes," Sharon says. "The Tron's are great."

"Not to mention the epic soundtracks," Peter adds.

"Alright, alright, _Tron_," Tony mutters, standing. "Then we can throw in It's A Wonderful Life or something. What music should I put on?"

"These," Peggy says, pulling out a CD case from her backpack. "These ones, anyway." She pulls out three of them. "Two hours of full clubbing music from all genres and styles—each."

"Damn," Gwen says. "Six hours? That much exists?"

"It took a few years and some help to put together, let me tell you." She hands them to Tony.

"Do you have strobe lights?" Darcy asks.

"Yup," Tony calls as he walks back over to where the microphones and headsets have been put back inside to a small (but still state of the art) stereo system, wherein he puts all three CD's in to the six disc holder and instructs watch-Jarvis to keep playing them until everyone collapses. Then, to some other buttons on the system, he presses so that two disco balls come out of the ceiling, followed by a few black lights and strobe lights each. They won't turn on until the main lights are turned off.

"Wow," Pepper says, looking around. "Even _I_ didn't know there was _that_ feature."

"It is quite amazing what you can do with money, Lady Pepper," Thor says as he pulls Natasha up to stand beside him.

Tony laughs. "I love being rich." He walks over and opens a panel beside the double doors and pushes down all the dimmer lights until they're completely off, wherein the disco ball and lights begin to spin, the colorful lights strobing through the room.

"Jarvis?" Tony says to his watch. "The music, if you please."

"It would be my genuine pleasure, sir."

The first song is Flo Rida's "Low", which is appropriate seeing that Jane is in apple bottom jeans, Gwen has on boots with fur lining, Clint has on baggy sweats, and Darcy is in strappy Reeboks.

"_My friends are the greatest,"_ Tony thinks to himself. His mind goes blank, on the other hand, when he sees Loki waiting for him on the outside of everyone who's already dancing beneath/between the two disco balls, looking like any real club but with less people. Pepper's short pencil skirt, Darcy's tank top with an open back to show off her zebra print bra, Clint and Natasha's leather (plus Natasha's leopard print pants), and onward. It doesn't matter that it's cold out, nobody's coming to a high school senior/freshman college party in yoga pants, slippers, or a long sleeve unless it's Steve in a flannel, but Tony can guarantee those sleeves will be rolled up by the end of the night. It's a party of young friends with only two adults, one of which has promised to leave them alone all night and the other who doesn't give a shit anyway.

Loki is in Tony's favorite pair of jeans that he wears, black suede boots that lace up to the top, and a green t-shirt that shows just a smidge of the skin that Tony will _totally_ be licking sometime tonight.

Tony puts his hands on Loki's waist and walks him backwards until they're in the middle of the fourteen-other-people blob. They don't speak, they just dance. Everyone alternates between classic grinding and…well, everything else, and by the end Tony has danced with literally ever person but Peter (they may be friends now, but the old hate and continuous subtle jealousy is definitely still here). Other than Loki, Tony's favorite dance was with Steve because they just ended up laughing through a high-end waltz around their friends. Jane was a little awkward just right away with all that science fair tension, but for someone so quiet and polite she really knows how to move. Loki danced with everyone but Happy and Thor, Happy for who knows what reason and Thor because of the whole brother thing.

"I think I have blisters," Pepper mutters, kicking off her flats.

"I _know_ I have blisters," Gwen grumbles at her boots.

"I know my _blisters_ have blisters," Natasha snorts, pulling off her black stilettos.

"I can't believe we just did that," Clint breathes, flopped across Bruce's lap.

"Tell me about it," Bucky says. "Six _hours_ of straight _dancing_."

"We even got all the way through the one Skrillex CD at the end," Peggy says as Steve trails kisses up and down her jaw and neck. (Tony has never seen him so let go before. By the near end of the second CD he was totally loose, dancing like he didn't have a care in the world. It was hilarious and inspiring at the same time.)

"Ugh, don't remind me," Peter groans.

"I concur with the lady," Thor says, massaging Natasha's feet. "Let us never put ourselves through such hell again."

"So, now what?" Happy asks. "Movies, right?"

"It's A Wonderful Life?" Jane asks hopefully.

"_After_ Tron," Sharon says, patting her shoulder.

"What time is it, anyway?" Bruce asks.

"Whatever time you want it to be!" Tony says, flopping onto his back in the middle of the floor.

Loki rolls his eyes and takes up Tony's wrist to look at his watch. "It's just past midnight."

"Damn," Darcy says, pulling a hair tie off of her wrist and putting her hair into a high ponytail to get it out of her eyes. "That dancing really took up the night."

"Alright, alright, let's all change into our pajamas before watching anything," Pepper says, using Happy's shoulder to get into a standing position. "I need to get out of this skirt and into my yoga pants."

Tony grins. "Yeah, alright," he says, letting Loki pull him up with him. "Girls go…" He trails off, looking around the room. "Alright, better idea. Dominants come with me, submitters with Pepper."

The room laughs. "Oh, good," Clint says, rolling his eyes. "I would have felt completely out of place in the _men's_ restroom."

"Well, wouldn't you?" Jane asks.

He and Loki shake their heads. "Just because we're gay doesn't mean we want to be girls," Loki says.

She shrugs. "Sorry. I've never had any gay friends before."

Steve laughs now that he and Peggy are standing. "Really? That's funny; I had two and didn't even know about it until this year."

"We were straight before this year, Steve," Bruce says.

"Okay, we're done," Tony says, waving his hands above his head. "Just go change. Afterwards we'll meet back in here for everyone to each grab a bowl of snacks and those of us who know where the room is can lead you to it. Jarvis, do you think you could get the original Tron to the title screen?"

"Of course, sir."

By the time everyone is camped out around the room, Jane speaks up again: "I know I sounded really hopeful for the 'Wonderful Life' one, but I really don't think I'm going to be able to stay up that long."

"Yeah, me neither," Loki says, rubbing his eyes. "It's alright way past my bedtime."

"Uh-oh," Thor says, cowering down behind Natasha a little. "I forgot."

Clint laughs. "He's fine, Thunderer. He's got Tony to keep him in check."

Tony snorts. "Yeah right, he'll plow me over. Give the job to Natasha."

Natasha cracks her knuckles and gives Loki an evil grin. "I got this."

Loki just grins back and flips her off.

**XxX**

_December 25  
Tuesday…_

Tony wakes up to a completely dark room, not having a clue where he is. Then he remembers: he fell asleep in the middle of the original Tron, right about the time that RAM died. Now…well, now it's dark and he can't see anything.

Tony looks down at his wrist and sees that it's nearly four in the morning.

"Jarvis?" Tony whispers. "Dimmed lights, please."

The lights come on just enough that Tony can see without being blinded or blinding anyone else with him.

"Who else is in here?" he asks, looking up at Jarvis's censors.

"Just you and Loki, sir."

Tony smiles down at his boyfriend, cuddled up against his side with one hand gripping onto the front of his shirt and the other around his waist. "When did _he_ fall asleep?"

"At the beginning of Tron: Legacy, sir."

"When did everybody else go out?"

"Just a moment ago, sir, when the movies ended. You woke when the door closed behind them."

Tony nods, pushing his fingers through Loki's hair. "Do you think it's safe to wake him up?"

"I would attempt to get as far away from him as you could before doing so, sir. When DUM-E and I woke him up back around Halloween he punched the little robot and nearly broke his carpals _before_ the accident."

"Nobody told me that," Tony says, getting up as slowly as he can. When he's on the other side of the couch he picks up one of the pillows in the room and throws it at his face.

A feral snarl rips from his throat as he sits up, arms and legs flailing in fists and kicks. The pillow ends up back across the room at Tony, but he catches it before it hits his face.

"Wow," Tony says, peeking over the fabric. "You really meant it."

Loki grumbles. "Did you wake me up from sleeping to go sleep?" he asks darkly.

"Yeah, so you'd actually be comfortable. Come on, tiger."

"I'd rather be a crocodile," he says, standing up and letting Tony wrap an arm around his waist.

"Yeah, well, you find me a crocodile that roars like that and we'll talk."

The lights are still on when they get into the ballroom, everybody crawling into their sleeping bags.

"Ah, the Sleeping Beauties awake," Steve says, grinning tiredly.

"Why didn't _you_ guys wake us?" Tony asks.

"Because you looked so damn cute!" Gwen says.

"You should have heard me," Loki mumbles.

"We did," Jane says.

"It was very impressive," Darcy adds.

"Shut up," he mutters.

They crawl into their respective sleeping bags between Bruce and Peter.

"Didn't anybody else fall asleep?" Tony asks.

"Sharon did," Bucky says, "but only because she's seen it a million and one times. We only woke her up because I wasn't asleep _with_ her."

"He's probably going to have a black eye in the morning," Peggy says, giggling.

Sharon gives a guilty smile. "Sorry."

Bucky kisses her forehead. "It's alright, babe."

"Can we stop talking now?" Bruce groans, face pressed into his pillow. Clint has unzipped both of their sleeping bags completely so they can have one on the floor and the other draped over them to let them cuddle. Actually, every couple has done that.

Tony looks down at Loki to suggest it, but he's already out cold, so he just smiles and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. "Yeah, alright," he says. "Jarvis, lights?"

"Of course, sir."

And the sixteen party animals sleep.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: what's really awesome is that I didn't even mean to make this many chapters in which Christmas Eve would actually land on chapter 24 (and then Christmas Day will be in chapter 25). How cool am I? Accidental cool. Whoops.

Also, the card that Clint gives to Maria is an actual card that I stole of the internet woo.


	25. The Greatest Eight

**25: The Greatest Eight**

_December 25  
Tuesday…_

Everyone from the sleepover is out of the house by about three in the afternoon. The only ones left at Tony's place by then are Tony, Loki, Maria, Howard, and Steve. The blonde isn't allowed to see Peggy's dress yet. The only thing he knows is that it's going to be white. He and Steve haven't figured out which Disney princess wears a white dress yet (aside from wedding dresses).

"Anthony," Loki says, taking his hand and pulling him out of the room. The maid's will be cleaning everything and re-setting certain things up for the actual Christmas party at six. "I need to tell you something."

Tony frowns.

"No, nothing bad. Just come here."

They end up in the kitchen pantry, light on and it being obvious that they're not just making out since most of the door is made of glass.

"What's wrong?" Tony asks.

"Nothing," Loki says. "Justin texted me last night."

Tony cocks an eyebrow. "And nothing's wrong?"

He shakes his head.

"Well, uh…what did he say?"

"Just three words." He flips out his phone and clicks around before holding it up to Tony to show off the text from "J-Tin Hamizzle", which Tony is _not_ going to question:

**You were right.**

Tony raises an eyebrow. "He's talking about Victor, right?"

Loki nods and pockets the phone. "All I said back was 'I know', and that was the end of the conversation."

"I won't be breaking him out, then?"

"Definitely not."

Tony smiles. "Well, I'm glad you convinced us all to wait." And he knows he wasn't going to question the nickname, but he can't help it… "'Us' being Iron Man, J-Tin Hamizzle, and…?"

Loki gives an embarrassed snort. "Uh, Ivan is Candy Van and Co."

Tony's nose wrinkles. "I could put Justin Hammer together, but not that one."

"Ivan. The van reminds me of strangers with candy. And then 'ko' in Vanko speaks for itself."

Tony laughs. "Do they call _you_ anything?"

"Eh," Loki says. "Not really. They called me DJ sometimes, but mostly just Low Key. It sounds the same as my name, you see. Mellow was just Clint's, but they stole what they could."

Tony grins. "So, we're good, then?" he asks. "No more Victor?"

Loki shrugs. "None for now."

"Good. Want to go show me some more of those dance moves before the party?"

Loki purses his lips. "Charles and his others are getting here in about an hour, so…quickie?"

Tony laughs. "Yeah, alright. Shower after?"

Loki nods, so they rush off to Tony's bedroom to kill some time.

**XxX**

_December 25  
Tuesday…_

By six-fifteen, every one of the guests has arrived. All of the adults and anyone under ten are ready and in the ballroom, but those in middle school, high school, and college are up on the third floor to get ready, from Bucky (the oldest) to Sly (the youngest). It gives the mature ones time to get to know each other before the party gets a little crazier with teenagers and college students.

All of the females (plus Loki and Clint) are changing in one guest bedroom, and everyone else is in another. That way dates don't' see each other until they're completely ready. The girls are of course going to take a million years longer, what with their make-up and hair, if it hasn't been done yet, and then putting on their dresses in the first place. With the guys, though, Tony was ready first.

He takes a deep breath and leans against the wall by the door, waiting for the rest of the guys to finish as well.

"Tony, wow," Steve says, looking at him with a very concerned look as he puts on his tie (how many teenage guys _actually_ know how to tie a tie without a YouTube help video?). "You look a little pale."

Tony swallows and nods. "I feel like I'm going to get married or something."

Thor's booming laughter drowns out anything that anybody else says. "Loki would never marry before the age of twenty-five."

Tony smiles. "Good, because marriage freaks me out. It hasn't been long enough yet."

Jör starts to speak, but somebody knocks on the door instead. "Hey!" they yell. "It's Darcy! I'm bored, somebody who's ready come out here and keep me company!"

Steve rolls his eyes shrugs, finishing up with his white tie. "Coming!" he yells.

Tony's marriage topic is dropped then, leaving everyone to finish putting their ties on before they have to wait for a million years for the other woman. How Darcy is already done is completely beyond Tony.

When all the guys are finally dressed, Tony ushers them all out before going out last, closing the door of the guest bedroom and wading through his throng of friends so that he's closest to the stairs. He's the main host, after all. They have to wait another million years for all the girls, but that's okay.

"Who's going in first, then?" Steve asks when they've all made it out.

"I think we should go in rainbow order," Darcy chimes.

"Darkest to lightest if there are multiples," Natasha adds.

"_That's_ going to make it a high school dance, if not anything else," Jane says. "But it is a good idea."

"What about Bruce and I?" Clint asks. "He's green, but purple doesn't come until the end."

"Just go when Bruce does," Gwen says. "He tops, right?"

"What about us?" Loki asks before anyone can comment. "Those of us not _in_ the rainbow."

"Well," Pepper says, "since Tony is gold he's actually going to be the first yellow that goes, so you'll go with him. The rest of you, though, will go last. Figure it out amongst yourselves, but _white_ has to go last since Peggy isn't coming out until the last second."

Tony frowns. "What, so Steve doesn't even know what she looks like yet except that he has to have a white tie? Aren't _you_ Cinderella?"

Pepper gives a small, cute smile. "I am, but _she's_ the Princess Bride."

The hallway falls silent, all of the ones who changed with Tony whipping their heads over to Steve.

"You're getting _married_?!" Tony asks, appalled. Sure, they're perfect, but…but…!

"What?" Steve says, eyes wide. "I—no I'm not! She's just the movie character!"

The tension in the hallway flushes out with huge sighs.

"She should have just been Princess Leah," Peter mutters. "That would have saved us the heart attack."

"Anyway!" Tony says loudly. "Everyone downstairs! The adults and four children are all already waiting for us."

"I'm an adult," Clint says, sticking his tongue out.

Tony rolls his eyes. "Yeah, well, anyone under ten is down there too, so if you really want to go first…"

Natasha flicks his forehead. "Get going, you overgrown child."

The eighteen of them clomp down to the main floor in no real order, Tony informing his watch Jarvis to tell everyone they're ready to come in.

"Just in time, sir," a voice says in front of them all, and Tony looks up to see the C3P-O that he and Bruce made by the double doors of the ballroom, a red bowtie around his neck and a green butler towel over an arm.

"Jarvis?" Tony asks in awe, walking up to him.

"Hello, sir," the robot replies. "Surprised to see me?"

"_See_ you?!" Tony all but yells. "Jarvis, you're _real_! I mean, you can walk, you can…" He throws his arms around the golden AI. "I love you."

Bruce is suddenly beside him, grinning broadly. "Merry Christmas."

Tony's jaw drops. "_You_ did this?"

He shrugs. "I was afraid it wouldn't be ready in time, but hey, I had to get you _something_."

"But we all decided we weren't going to get each other anything! Even I—" He cuts himself off, just barely catching himself from announcing that even he only got something for Loki instead of using his wealth to get something for everything. "Even I didn't get anybody anything!"

Everyone laughs.

"Not get something for _you_?" Natasha asks. "Over the course of this school year—and especially tonight—you've taken in people that used to beat you up, almost strangers, and people who don't really even like you—and you still love every single one of us. How could we _not_ get you something?"

Tony frowns. "You _all_ got me something?"

"Of course!" Darcy says. "Well, most of us got one together, but that's not the point."

Tony can't help but smile. "I…I don't know what to say."

"That's a first," Jane says, giving a good natured eye roll.

Darcy flicks her shoulder. "Maybe he'll let you win next year."

"Alright, alright, break it up," Pepper says. "Everyone is waiting for us. Jarvis, if you please."

"Of course, Miss Potts," Jarvis says via C3P-O (that is going to take some serious getting used to). In the exact movements as the golden robot would in the movie, he swings open both of the double doors to the ballroom.

Jarvis announces that they're all ready to enter, the six couples and six singles off to the side so nobody can see them through the door.

"Master Fenrir!" the AI calls. The voice of C3P-O was initially as close as they could get to the voice he had in the movies, but now he sounds just like Jarvis is meant to.

Fen quick goes, his rusty colored clip-on tie just a tad too loose, but not enough time to fix it.

"Master Thor and Lady Natasha!"

The Red's (Natasha being Jessica Rabbit) link arms and walk through, bright smiles on their faces. Tony can't see any further than that from where he's standing. Tony, being gold, goes with Loki's silver afterwards, Loki's hand on his arm.

The ballroom is absolutely beautiful, the blue and silver perfect on the trees and tablecloths for snacks and glasses for throughout the night and—

"Holy shit," Tony whispers. "Those aren't all for me, are they?"

Loki looks over where Tony is, at the table _laden_ with gifts, and laughs. "I don't think so. Charles brought something for his kids, I got something for my four, couples for things within their partnership, and I wouldn't doubt something for your parents."

Tony nods before he really registers that all of the women are, as Pepper said they would be, in dressed to resemble whichever Disney princess, and upon really looking Tony can tell who all of them are right away. His own mother is Mulan, Sigyn is Aurora, Pepper's grandma (Janet) is Tinkerbelle, Peter's grandma (May) is Merida, Rebecca is Jasmine, Gwen's mom (Janet) is Ariel, and Frigga is Pocahontas.

On the off hand, he can't actually tell who exactly the three parents of Hel and the other three are, but the darkly colored man with _dark_ blue hair and golden—almost yellow—eyes (Kurt) is in a deep blue suit and a bright yellow tie, the tanned woman with brown hair and pupils almost like slits (Katherine, though Loki calls her Kitty) looks like a jaguar, and the paper pale woman with abyss black hair and green eyes (Laura) is in an cloak of black and red-violet, her black hair up in such a way that it almost looks like she has horns. Honestly, they all _look_ like they'd be in a three-way.

Loki elbows him ever so lightly. "Laura is Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, and Katherine is Sabor from Tarzan."

Tony frowns. "You mean Kurt is just wearing that as his formal ware? I thought he was trying to be Dory from Finding Nemo."

Loki barely stifles a snort, and he quick whispers to Charles and Erik now that they've stopped walking so he won't laugh: "You two match the room. Grey and blue."

Erik holds a finger up. "Actually, my tie is _steel_, and Charles' was so kind to wear _steel blue_."

Tony doesn't even try to hold back his snort, but before anyone else can say anything, Jarvis announces "Lady Darcy", complete with her gloves and heels for her part as Belle. Peter and Gwen are next, Peter's baby yellow tie and Gwen's dress, the baby yellow on bottom and blue at the top, her lips and heels as red as red can be for her being Snow White. It's a good thing she's pretty pale.

Bruce and Clint are next, the green and purple their signature color. _There are two types of people_ and all that. Jane comes in after, heels and jewelry to match her ice green dress as Tiana. Jör is in next, his jade tie matching perfectly with his eyes the same color. Pepper and Happy are next, earning a couple of gasps at how beautiful Pepper is as Cinderella, plus how "Prince Charming" Happy looks even in his modern day suit and ice blue tie.

Sly is adorable in his little grey bowtie, standing up as straight as he can and a very shy look on his face. It doesn't matter that he's thirteen, he acts five and Tony would adopt him in a heartbeat. Too bad he already has been. Hel comes in after in all her two-sided glory as Cruella de Vil, even with her usual black and white hairstyle. Of course she's a villain; she wouldn't make a very good princess anyway. The black side is her "rebel" side, the white her "innocent." Tony knows that the only ones left are Steve and Peggy, but the way that they seem to be dragging it out is a little much.

"Please welcome," Jarvis says loudly, "Master Steven and Lady Margret!"

When the couple of white comes into view, the entire room goes silent. Steve is as sophisticated looking as always, with his crisp white tie, but Peggy… Wow. Even Loki's jaw is dropped. He was even changing with her! Didn't he see her?

Loki shakes his head as if reading Tony's thoughts, as usual. "She was in the bathroom," he whispers. "Pepper wouldn't let us see her."

While Buttercup's dress in the Princess Bride is more…well…like a bride's from the Dark Ages, Peggy's (Margret? Is Peggy just a nickname? Tony did not know that) is definitely more a modern prom type of thing. She's just Buttercup (who definitely is not a _Disney_ princess) because it's white and…well, Tony may be a guy, but he definitely still appreciates a good outfit when he sees one. Why else does he always look for something to buy for Natasha? Pepper's not usually the type of person he's good at shopping for, what with her boring "secretary" looks. He's good with fancy things.

While Peggy's main dress color is white, the secondary color is gold. The hemline is about mid-thigh, but there's a short, very sheer train of sorts that would be just long enough to get to the ground if not for the fact that it's curled up. There must be wires inside to hold it up, because there's no way that fabric would do it by itself. It's tight around her abdomen, but it comes out in a somewhat Lolita fashion below that. Her sleeves match well with Buttercup's old-fashioned style because they're big and puffy, about the length down her arm as any t-shirt would be. It's covered with glitter and sequins, and around the left (Tony's right) side there are white peacock feathers, obviously manmade with the gold mixed in and the fact that they're so bloody perfect. Her gold stiletto heels have straps that crisscross up her calves for three overlaps, and they make her taller than Steve, but it really doesn't matter. Her lips are painted the very lightest of pinks and her blush to match, her mascara sparkles from here, and her white eye shadow has its own layer of glitter as well. Her hair has been put into three separate braids before being pulled up on her head, one thin, curled strand on each side of her face and hanging down. Tony happens to know that Peggy actually chews her nails, so the long, beautiful white and gold manicured ones are completely fake. But damn, the cleavage is certainly real, and the love in Steve's eyes as he looks up at her as they're walking in is probably the realest thing that Tony has ever seen in his life.

"Anthony, oh _darling_," Frigga whispers into his ear. "You _must_ introduce me to her. I just _have_ to meet her tailor!"

Tony looks up at her. "Actually, it's probably store bought. I mean, more than one copy instead of personally made ones."

She smiles. "Good, then the styles will be cheaper." She bustles over to Odin and begins whispering furiously to him, no doubt about what she just asked Tony about.

Nobody is saying anything to Steve or Peggy, and she's staring to look a little embarrassed, so Tony quick throws his arms out and speaks: "Holy _crap_, Peg!" (He would have preferred using "shit", but this is supposed to be a family friendly environment). He crosses the floor to her, resisting the urge to hug her so he doesn't mess anything up. "I don't even want to know how much this cost."

Everyone agrees, and everyone who was changing upstairs minus Jör, Fen, and Sly make their way over to flock around her while everyone else begins to converse amongst themselves.

Peggy blushes. "Thank you. I've been saving up for prom."

"Prom?" Gwen asks. "I thought you already graduated last year."

"I did," Peggy says, looking down at her fake nails. "I've been waiting for Steve to ask me to his."

The little crowd falls silent again, and the blush on Steve's face is darker than Natasha's hair, and the way he's looking up at her (she was always taller than him, but they got to almost the same height after Steve started growing with working out and all; now that she's in monstrous heels, though, it's back to the beginning) is either adorable or nerve-racking. "Y-you what?" he asks.

She gives him a quizzical look. "Didn't I tell you? I've been waiting for you."

Before Steve has time to react, the crowd bursts into little aw's, Steve blushing even worse and Peggy letting out a giggle. She may be tough, but she's still a girl.

"I told you guys she was the Princess Bride!" Pepper says brightly, hugging Happy's arm. "She had to wait for Weslie to find her!"

While everyone is clapping, Laura sort of just _appears_ beside Peggy, the villain aura practically oozing off of her. "You're very pretty," she says, holding out a card. "Do please share this with all of your friends here, as well." She smiles and flits off back to Kurt and Katherine, who are currently chatting up Charles and both Erik's.

"She's weird," Darcy says, looking over Peggy's shoulder. "What is it?"

"It's a card for modeling agency," Peggy says, reading it over. "Pryde and Kinney, it's called.

"Aren't they the Wagner's, now?" Gwen asks. "They must have started the business before taking the last name of…uh, Kurk?"

Loki smiles. "Kurt."

"Whatever," she says, flitting her wrist.

Peggy continues: "It's been around for years and they even have their own fashion line. That's all the card gives out, though, besides contact information."

Clint grimaces. "A fashion line?" He looks over at them with his nose wrinkled up. "It's a wonder I've never heard of them," he mumbles sarcastically.

Bruce elbows him. "Don't be rude."

"Actually," Natasha says, "I've heard of them before. Sure, they're one of the weirder lines most of the time, but they actually have a lot of amazing things as well. And not just your everyday six foot-eighty pound models, either. They have all _sorts_ of sizes, sometimes even walking two of the same dress up the aisle so they can have it on a petite girl _and_ in the plus size so anyone can see what they'd look like in the number.

"They don't just make dresses, either. There's shoes, pants, skirts, tops, swimsuits, blah yada blah. Everything. I probably have about three pairs of their shoes, at least one swimsuit, and who knows how much else. Each of them has a completely different style to add, Kinney—er, Laura more my style and Katherine's more…" She looks around. "Gwen's. Kurt became a part of it later, and he's what brought along most of the weirder stuff, but he also likes formal business ware. Pepper probably has at least one number from his line, at the very least. They don't really have anything for men except Laura's underwear line."

Everyone (now including Jean, who must have snuck over when nobody was looking) just sort of stares at her for a few seconds before Hel pipes up:

"You know all of that about the fashion world and you're just in a Salsa dress?"

Natasha rolls her eyes. "Sorry my favorite Disney character looks like a Playboy Bunny."

"Okay, okay, enough," Tony says, snatching up the card. "I'm going to have Jarvis make enough copies of this for all of the chicks here." He pulls out his cell phone and takes a picture of it before sending it to Jarvis's number, knowing the AI heard him through his watch.

"Now," Thor says brightly, looking around the room over nearly everybody. To be honest, Peggy is probably the closest to him in height, but Loki's a close second. "I believe we should let the festivities truly commence, should we not?"

Jane smiles warmly at him. _She_ may be single, but it's too bad for her that the blonde already taken, if the way she's always looking at him has anything to say about the obvious crush she's got. "A wonderful idea, I think."

The couples disperse, most of them going to the tables of food or the dance floor, the lyric-less music that Jarvis choose playing through the room. Tony, on the other hand, takes Loki over to the sound system behind one of the wall panels. "I think this party could use some better music," he says.

Loki smiles. "Can you say 'classics'?"

Tony grins, pressing a lot of buttons. "Ex_actly_."

Jingle Bell Rock starts playing through the room, loud enough to be heard but quiet enough that nobody has to yell to be heard.

Loki frowns. "That is _not_ a classic."

Tony wrinkles his nose up. "What did _you_ mean? Silent Night and The Year Without A Santa Clause?"

"That second one is a movie, but yes."

Tony groans. "_Fine_." He clicks around some more, and Frosty the Snowman starts to play instead. He closes the panel and turns to Loki with a warm smile. "These really aren't slow dancing songs."

Loki smiles back before bending down to kiss him lightly. "We'll wait until one comes on, then."

Tony gives a good natured eye roll. "Maybe we should start a grinding circle."

Loki snorts, turning away from him. "Family friendly, love. Come on, we'll get Darcy and Jane to come dance with us."

"We'll have to find Jane a boyfriend," Tony says, letting Loki take his hand and pull him over to where the two girls are at the table of overflowing gifts. "Thor is off-limits."

Loki nods fervently.

"Hey," Tony says, giving Darcy's back a short scratch. "You two wanna dance with us?"

"Not right now," Jane says.

"We're sorting stuff by family or couple," Darcy adds.

"Except yours and your moms," Jane says, pointing at him, "because you guys have more gifts each then anybody else does almost combined."

"So maybe later," Darcy says. "Because this is going to take forever. Now shoo, we'll get everyone when we're done."

Tony and Loki shoo themselves off, ending up nearly tripping over Logan as he's running after Jean (Ororo is being helped by Bruce and Clint at the dessert table, and Scott is talking excitedly about who knows what with Fen and Sly).

"Woki!" Logan squeals, skidding to a halt. He starts to fall backwards, but Loki drops down to catch him just in time.

"Careful, little dude!" Loki says, swinging him up and hitching him against his hip. "Floors are slippery when you're goin' that fast."

Logan gives a partly toothy smile. "Who wit Woki?"

Loki smiles, stepping right up to Tony and shifting Logan around so he's held between them. "Do you remember the boy that was with me when we met? A reeeally long time ago at the rest stop?"

"Uuummm…" Logan looks really hard at Tony, even reaching out and poking at his face in a few places. "Yeah!" he finally says. "He Woki's husband!"

Tony smirks up at Loki, but the taller boy just blushes a little. "It was the only way that I knew how to explain it on the phone," he says.

Tony just smiles bigger. "You talked to him too?"

Loki smiles. "He remembered me when Charles explained who had called and he wanted to say hi."

Logan pats Tony's cheek, a little harder than he would have preferred but nothing he can't deal with from a two year old. "What name?"

Tony winks at Loki and smiles at the toddler. "Tony."

"Toe-knee?" He smiles and holds his arms out. "Toe-knee!"

Tony blinks at him, unsure of what to do. So, Loki does it for him: he puts Logan into his arm.

Tony's eyes widen a little, but he knows how to hold things, so he doesn't drop the kid. "Oh," he says, Logan cuddling his face into the crook of Tony's neck.

Loki giggles. "What's the matter? Never held a child before."

Tony licks his lips. "I, uh, no, I haven't. I and all my friends were only children."

Loki blinks at him with wide eyes, and just as Tony starts to explain some more, Loki all at once places his hand on Tony's cheek and kisses him hard on the mouth. Tony's own eyes widen for a second, but he melts back into the kiss almost instantly, his hold tightening on Logan so he can remind himself that he's in public and isn't allowed to completely lose himself in his boyfriend.

Logan does eventually bring them both back, though, pulling away from Tony's neck with an adorable giggle. "Kisses!" he says happily, clapping his hands together. "I want kisses, too!"

Loki giggles with him and kisses his cheek. "You are the cutest thing in the entire world, you know that?"

He gives a big smile. "Yes."

Tony laughs, rubbing his nose to the little guys. "Good."

"We'll have to keep in touch," a voice says beside them, and Tony and Loki look over to see Charles' wheelchair beside them and his Erik behind it, bent over so that he's leaning against on of the handles.

Loki smiles. "A lovely idea, but whatever for?"

The older man smiles, but Erik speaks first: "To see what amazing parents you two become, of course!"

"Oh, Erik," Charles says, patting his cheek. "Will you _ever_ learn to be _delicate_?"

Erik shrugs and gives his husband a toothy smile. "I doubt it."

Loki laughs and rests a hand on Charles' arm. "I feel your pain."

Charles chuckles. "Yes, well, tell me when you've felt it for thirty-plus years and we'll talk." He smiles warmly. "I'm surprised Logan took so well to you, Anthony," he says. "He's really not a fan of strangers. The other three tend to flock to them, but…" He chuckles, holding his arms out to his son. "Logan's not usually a people person."

Logan kicks just a little and reaches back out, and Tony happily puts him into the arms of his father. Er, the one who can't walk, anyway.

"We've had him in bed all day so he'd be ready for tonight," Erik adds. "It worked, but he'd still rather be with us or siblings."

Tony can't help but smile. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," they reply in unison.

"How did you guys meet?"

They fall silent before sharing a look and bursting into laughter that Charles quickly tries and fails to quiet in both of them.

"A funny story, that one," Erik says, swinging Logan out of Charles' lap up and onto his shoulders. "Let's just say we were underwater, yeah?"

"With submarines," Charles adds.

Tony snorts. "I'm sorry I asked."

Tony and Loki are then called over by the three couples of Cinderella, Snow White, and Jessica Rabbit, so they kiss Logan goodbye before going off to see what the six of them want.

"We should set up some more karaoke for later," Natasha says. "I have the perfect song to sing."

Hel and Jör literally appear within their crowd exactly then. "Karaoke?" they ask in unison. "We like karaoke."

Tony grins. "Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun. Not quite yet, though."

"Of course not," Pepper says, also appearing beside him. "Tony has to dance with me first."

Tony waves Loki goodbye as Pepper drags him into the middle of the floor, where the couples of Pocahontas, Tinkerbelle, Merida, Jasmine, and Aurora are already dancing to Crocodile Rock. It's not a "classic", but Tony made sure it would play anyway.

"You're still bad at this," Pepper says when the song's done.

"Hey now," Tony says. "I waltz very well."

Natasha whirls out of nowhere and into Tony's arms. "But can you _Salsa_?"

Approximately three seconds later, Tony is flat on his back and Natasha, Pepper, and Thor are all smiling down at him. "That's a no, then," Natasha says with a giggle.

"Serves you right," Loki says, appearing to help him up. "Classics my ass."

"It is too a classic!" Tony protests. "Just…not the same kind."

Loki rolls his eyes. "Alright, fine. Come on, it's my turn for a dance."

Thor and Natasha spin away, continuing to salsa around the room.

"Where did Thor learn to dance like that?" Tony asks as Loki pulls him back onto the part of the floor everyone is dancing on from where Natasha spun him to.

"Does it matter?" Loki asks, draping his arms over Tony's shoulders. "This song is slow enough."

Tony looks up at a speaker. "Nat King Cole?" He smiles, looking back at Loki. "Yeah, you're right." He wraps his arms around Loki's waist. "Guess that's one more thing off our list."

Loki smiles. "You mean that's the _last_ thing off our list."

Tony blinks a couple of times. "Oh. You're right." He grins. "We met our goal. We finished them before the end of the month _and_ year."

Loki gives the tiniest of smirks. "And maybe," he whispers, giving Tony the steamiest bedroom eyes that he has ever gotten _ever_, "when it gets a little warmer out, we can find a quiet, lonely lake and complete your…" He licks his lips. "Skinny dipping idea."

Tony chokes a little and quick ducks his head against Loki's chest so he doesn't see the way Tony knows his eyes are dilating. "Yeah," he manages. "Yeah, a wonderful idea."

"When this night is over," Loki whispers, having bent down to Tony's ear, "I am going to ride you so hard into your bed that you're going to have to buy an entirely new mattress to match the bedspread."

"Oh," Tony chokes out. "Wow, no more talking, yeah? I don't want a—"

"Boner? You already have one, babe. Against my leg. I'll stop talking and you dance slower until it goes away."

Tony laughs, pulling his head away from Loki's chest. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

Loki shrugs. "You can tell me later." He presses himself as close as he can to Tony without tripping over him at this slow pace. "Right now the song is about to end and we're going to have to change pace."

"That's okay, you distracted me." He steps away. "Wanna get something to eat real quick?"

Loki smiles. "Cookies and whipped cream?"

"Brownies and chocolate bars!"

They all but skip off to the food, grabbing a single plate and piling it high. Right as the song ends, Tony notices Darcy talking to Jarvis, and instead of more of the music Tony chose, more lyric-less songs come on and flow gently through the room.

"Alriiight!" Darcy yells, raising up her glass of sparkling cider (it's the only thing being served unless a maid is asked to bring it specifically). "Who wants to open presents?!"

The adults simply smile and nod, but anyone under twenty-five gives a whoop and a holler.

"Now, we have to worn you," Jane says as everyone makes their way over to the table. (The two girls have even set up chairs so everyone can watch and not have to stand the entire time or sit on the floor.) "It was said in the invitations not to bring any gifts because it would get too hectic, but it seems that everyone has brought at least one each for Mrs. Stark and then also about that many for Tony, since everyone who was invited either knows him personally or came as the 'extended family' to whoever in their invitation _does_ know him personally. There are a few exceptions of course, but you all get the pictures. So we're going to have Mrs. Stark go first, followed by everyone else, and _then_ Tony."

"Not because we don't like you," Darcy says, grinning at him, "but because your boyfriend told us to do it that way."

Tony looks over at Loki, who's simply smirking up at the ceiling.

"Let's get this started, then!" Tony says, taking a spot by his mom.

Maria gets the normal things one gives a host (Howard is obviously not thought of us such, which serves him right since they didn't know he was coming until the last second), such as a nice little house plant or a trip to a day spa (though from the Lehnsherr's she gets an overnight one, which is lovely because she never seems to get out the house at night anymore). She loves Tony's necklace, too.

Everyone else gets something at leas for their significant others, and the Lehnsherr and Wagner parents inform everyone that they all had their kids open their presents last night except for one each, which is convenient. Clint got Bruce a hydro powered clock, and then he opened his suit top to show off the t-shirt underneath: "I heart Nerds", the "heart" being an actual human heart with labels and everything. Bruce gets him back a personalized stuffed animal (Tony should have thought of that), being a green bear (apparently they decided Bruce's spirit animal is a bear) with hawk wings. Natasha and Thor were all over the place in gifts, but the best was Natasha getting Thor two tickets for them to go see the Hobbit on it's opening tomorrow night. Apparently Thor is a closet "Ringer", or whatever Natasha called him.

Darcy got Jane and Erik a new VHS/DVD player, mumbling about being sorry for breaking the last one. To Darcy from Jane were cake pops and M&M's, wherein Darcy's mope turned to a very loud whoop.

The Lehnsherr parents get the most powerful laser pointer that Tony has ever seen for Scott, a miniature "Girl on Fire" dress from the Hunger Games for Jean (since it's her favorite movie), a "weather predicating" set for Ororo (wherein Jane squealed about how she used to have one), and Logan gets a big Lego dinosaur set.

From the three Wagner parents comes for Hel more rings for her piercings and a fake tattoo set, for Jör he's informed that a female snake of the same species as his male one (a California King) is waiting for him at home so he can breed them like he wants, Fen a trip to the zoo with "mommy" (AKA Katherine, while Laura is "mom" and Kurt is "dad"), and Sly gets advanced horse riding lesions (Tony's pretty sure the kid's either going to be gay or a really shy cowboy).

Tony didn't get anything for Jarvis, but he promises to hurry up and finish his R2-D2 blueprints on his ceiling so he can actually make it. Tony also opens up his suit to show Loki his shirt before giving him his own, wherein Loki calls him the child appropriate "butthead" about Tony getting him something and also making him agree that they wouldn't get them until _after_ Christmas. Sarah and Rebecca know Howard well enough that they got him something as well: a cocktail set with a chemistry theme (Tony's starting to realize how important it is to know the difference between themes and schemes). Even Tony wants one, and he doesn't even like cocktails.

There were others, too, but out of all of them, the most surprising of them all was Howard getting something for Clint. The gift itself wasn't surprising (the very latest in bow technology, not to mention some state of the art arrows), it's that he got him something at all. He never gets anybody _anything_.

But then Tony remembers. "Clint," he says. "Are you seriously going to—?"

Clint silences him with a single look. "We'll talk about it later," he says.

And that's the end of that, because Darcy doesn't know what they're talking about and she declares that Tony has to open all of his presents, now. He gets all sorts of things, of course, including a car wash/waxing, a Kirby t-shirt, and Mario themed chess set, a shower radio (from Clint and Bruce, and the wink that gay boy gave him shouted loud and clear that it was mostly for the idea of getting "dirty" while getting clean), and a red and gold lava lamp. The most inspiring, though, is from all of Steve, Bruce, Pepper, Loki, Natasha, Clint, _and_ Thor (basically the seven that help Tony make up "the Great Eight", being the four of the first two groups after Natasha moved in) is a sort of charm bracelet, except that they don't all have matching ones. Each of them chose a charm for the gold chain: Steve a US flag, Bruce a nuclear radiation symbol, Pepper a quill (for her wanting to be a secretary), Loki a silver heart, Natasha a black widow spider, Clint an arrow, Thor a hammer (for his wanting to build things), and for Tony a small iron 'T'. It's way too colorful and far too clunky, but Tony loves it anyway, because he's really just like his mom and something so personal just warms him straight to the core.

"Is everyone done, then?" Loki asks, bouncing to a standing position. "Is it my turn now?"

Maria smiles brightly. "Go get him, Loki."

Tony wrinkles his nose up as Loki runs off, but his eyes widen when he comes back into the room.

"Is that…" Tony says, standing. "Is that a kitten?"

Loki nods, cradling the animal to his chest. Tony goes straight over to him before he can get back to the rest of the group to see the little thing. It has short black fur, wide blue eyes, a cute pink nose, and a red bow tied loosely around its neck. Loki puts him carefully into Tony's own arms as soon as he gets to him.

"Remember when I asked if you were a cat or dog person?" Loki asks.

"Gosh, no," Tony says.

Loki laughs. "Well, we decided cats, so…here one is."

Tony can't help but smile. He's never had a pet before. "He's so cute."

"You like him, then?"

Tony nods, stroking its back. "What's his name?"

"That's up to you," Maria says, appearing at his side.

Tony grins. "Would it be childish to name him Darth Vader?"

Steve laughs, also coming up beside him. "Yes, but do it anyway."

Bruce, Pepper, Natasha, Clint, and Thor come over too, all grinning.

"I'll tell everyone they can disperse now," Maria says, kissing Tony's cheek before bustling off.

"I know he's cute and all," Clint says quietly, "but I, uh… I should probably explain to you why Howard got me arrows and a new bow."

Tony narrows his eyes, continuing to stroke Vader (this is going to be so much fun). "You took the job."

Clint glares back. "Let me explain."

"Please do," Natasha says just as dark.

Clint cowers just the tiniest bit at _her_ voice. "I'm not leaving for _months_, okay? It's in Hawaii, but, I mean…I'm supposed to finish high school and take the summer to myself. I'm not leaving until September first. You know, like Hogwarts."

Loki smacks the back of his head.

"Ow! Ow, okay, sorry, geez. There's a college down there that I can still go to, though I'm not sure if I'll get that far. I just…it's a good opportunity. I know it's far away, but all of us would move away eventually. We're not all going to go to a New York college. We can still visit each other and everything. It's even still in the same country! Granted it's as far away as you can get, but…" He sighs. "I told Howard it would be hard to be away from my new family that long, and he shrugged and said he'd be happy to give me a few weeks off every now and again so I could come see you guys. I'll still have my phone and internet, so it's not like I'm dropping off the face of the planet."

Everyone pipes up with something or another but Bruce, who's playing with his fingers and staring intently at the ground.

"It's not about leaving," Tony says, "it's about taking a job from _him_."

Clint glares at him again. "I'm sorry, _whose_ money are you living off of? _Whose_ house are you living in? _Whose_ company are you going to take over when he's gone? Fuck you."

"It's different. I'm his son."

This time Loki smacks the back of _his_ head. "Shut up, Anthony."

Tony grumbles unintelligently to himself and pets Vader, making sure the animal doesn't freak out from any of the raised voices.

"It'll be good for you though, right?" Bruce asks quietly.

Everyone falls silent and turns to him.

"I'm not done yet," Clint says just as quite, he says, crooking a finger to lift his chin up so he's not staring at the floor anymore. "I, uh… Howard said that…" He purses his lips and pulls his finger away, biting on the knuckle for a second. Eventually he spews it out so fast that nobody even understands him.

"I beg your pardon?" Thor asks.

Clint does it again.

"Breathe, you ninny," Pepper says, rolling her eyes.

Clint takes a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling. "I want Bruce to come with me."

The silence is absolutely _deafening_, but Clint quick continues before anybody else says a word, looking straight at Bruce again:

"I told Howard that I wouldn't leave you, so he said I should bring you with me. There's the four-year college and he even said he could easily get you a job with all those chemicals and wires that you love because you're right behind Tony in that sort of stuff and you like explosions too, right? So he actually wants you to come with me he just figured you would say no since you're better friends with Tony and probably hate him and…and yeah."

Everyone is shuffling awkwardly, waiting for Bruce to come back to life. He's just standing there with wide, surprised eyes, looking up at Clint with his fingers in mid-twiddle.

Eventually he blinks and shakes his head out of his stupor, looking around the ring of the other seven. "I…uh… Four seconds. To breathe. I need… Process." He's gone before anybody can blink, out of the room to who knows where.

Clint looks like he's about to cry. "Well, they _say_ it doesn't hurt to ask."

"I got this," Tony says, handing Vader to him.

Clint starts to protest, but Tony shushes him.

"I've known him longer than you and I'm not in love with him like you are. Trust me on this." He runs after him, going straight to the door that leads out of the house. He knows exactly where Bruce is. He goes around to the back of the separate garage and opens up the cellar looking doors before climbing in, sitting down just down at the bottom step—right beside where Bruce is sitting. These are the few times that Tony has ever been in his father's lab. Looking for Bruce when he can't deal with things. The guy either turns into a Hulk, as Clint puts it, or hides. Tony's known him long enough that he can't hide from him anymore.

"You could have just said no," Tony says, putting a hand on Bruce's shoulder.

"That's the thing," Bruce says quietly. "I'm not sure if I don't want to."

"Well, why don't you want to?"

"You know why, Tone. I've had it planned out since sophomore year! What college I'll go to—they already accepted me, you know—and what field I'll go into and the degrees I'll get and… I'm going to be a _doctor_, Tony!" He looks at him. "Can you imagine that? _Doctor_ Robert Banner."

"And you can't go into those fields and get those degrees and become that doctor at some college in Hawaii? What, not good enough for you because it's just a few islands?"

Bruce shakes his head. "No, that's not it. It's just changing everything right away. You know I'm not good with change. Routine is my thing."

"Which is why you're friends with me, obviously."

Bruce chuckles at him. "Obviously."

Tony smiles. "I know. Why _would_ you want to go with him?"

He sighs. "Clint's right, Tone. It's a good opportunity. It may be your father, but…he's not a dick businessman, he just stinks at being a father. That's _why_ he's a good businessman. He ignores you."

Tony purses his lips, remembering the _real_ reason they don't talk. To be honest, though, it would probably still be about this way even if Tony didn't start it… He _is_ always working. He wouldn't have time for a family anyway.

"Yeah," he says quietly. "Yeah, that's true."

"So it's not going and being out there that bothers me, it's just the change. It was a very sudden question, Tony. 'Hey, want to leave all your friends and your mom and her boyfriend that's actually cool for once to come live in smoldering heat while I test weapons and you can tinker all you want with pretty much anything you want?' I'm not sure if I can do that. I _want_ to, Tony, but it's going to take longer to figure out that than."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Bruce, let me tell you something." He slings an arm over his shoulders. "You're in love with the guy, right?"

"Right."

"And he's in love with you?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, so much in common. Now—now listen to this, Brucey-kins. The college you want to go to is in _Massachusetts_. You're leaving anyway!"

Bruce purses his lips. "That's true."

"It's more than true, you idiot. You can either leave to another state by yourself or go to another state with the love of your life. Both hold amazing opportunities, but…" He sighs. "I can't believe I'm trying to convince you to leave all of us and go work for my dad. They'll be better out there, Bruce, because you're guaranteed a well-paying job under the same employer as your boyfriend, not to mention you _personally know_ the employer in the first place. My dad likes you, okay? And he obviously likes Clint, too. You guys are probably going to get anything you want. Just _do it_, Bruce. I don't want to sound like a Nike commercial, but seriously. You'll miss people anyway. You might as well be happy in the process."

Bruce blinks down at the concrete floor before looking up at Tony. "You're right."

Tony grins. "I know. Come on, he's holding Vader, but he might still be crying if we don't show up soon. He doesn't want to leave you, Bruce."

Bruce nods and leaps up, almost leaving Tony behind. They lock the doors and rush back inside, drying their shoes as best they can on the rug inside the door before going back into the ballroom. It's not a white Christmas, this year.

Everyone inside stares for a moment, but the adults and kids eventually look away, and anyone not in the Great Eight kiss their respective dates and disperse as well, knowing that whatever this is involves very specific people.

Tony stops at Loki, but Bruce walks straight across to Clint (not crying, but still close), takes his face in his hands, and kisses him.

Tony smiles. "Where's Vader?" he asks Loki when he notices that the kitten isn't in Clint's arms anymore.

Loki points over to where Darcy is with Sly, Fen, Logan, Ororo, Jean, and Scott. "Being taken care of."

"Good."

"You'll come?" Clint asks when Bruce finally pulls his lips away.

Bruce rests their foreheads together and smiles. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Clint kisses him again before hugging him, smiling so huge that it could rival Baldur's. "What did you say?" he mouths to Tony.

Tony grins. "Nothing much. Just knocked a bit of sense into him."

"Looks like a little more than sense if you ask me," Steve says with a chuckle.

"So, it is eight months that we have to be together?" Thor asks.

"Just enough time to have a premature baby!" Natasha says brightly.

Bruce wrinkles his nose up at her as he and Clint pull out of their hug. "That doesn't make it sound very fun."

"Neither did saying that it would be when I _would_ be having _my_ baby if not for specific circumstances."

"Touché."

"We'll have to make them the best months yet!" Loki says, throwing his arms around Tony's neck and kissing him on the cheek.

Tony grins. "Even better sex?"

Loki rolls his eyes. "Men."

"More shooting?" Steve asks.

"More chess tournaments that Tony can win!" Bruce cheers.

"Less rash decisions and more planned events?" Pepper asks hopefully.

"More leather?" Natasha grins.

"More shooting!" Clint declares for Steve, far too loudly, as usual.

"AND MANY MORE FRIENDS!" Thor says even louder. The blonde is always the loudest, but he's so big that it suits him. Clint being loud just makes Tony want to have Natasha smack the back of his head.

Tony smiles. "Lots more shooting, more chess trophies, _many_ more rash decisions"—he winks at Pepper—"lots more leather, and _definitely_ more friends."

"What does Vader make it at?" Loki asks.

"Oh wow," Tony says, presses his lips into a thin like. "How about we _don't_ count how many there are."

"Well," Natasha says, linking her arm with Thor's and taking Clint's hand with her other. "No matter _how_ many there are, I can name all of the ones I can't live without on just two hands—and that's including myself."

"Yeah?" Clint says with a bright smile, wrapping his free arm around Bruce's waist and pulling him against him. "And who are these friends of yours?"

She grins. "Around here we call them the Black Widow, the Thunderer, Hawkeye, Mellow, Iron Man, the Hulk, Captain America, and…" She winks at Pepper. "The Queen."

"Queen of all seven of you?" Pepper asks before smirking. "No wonder my kingdom is falling apart?"

They laugh.

"You guys are the best," Tony says. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but…" He looks at Natasha, Clint, and Thor. "I'm really glad you guys used to beat us up."

"Not that you should start it up again," Steve reassures.

Tony rolls his eyes. "We'll always be the most important to each other, won't we? I mean, we do have all our other friends, but… It's all us. We'll always the greatest eight."

"And kitty makes nine?" Clint asks hopefully.

Loki grins. "That would be appropriate, yes. He's got nine lives, after all."

"Not for long," Steve says, looking over at Darcy and the group of kids around her. Jane has joined them as well.

"I guess we should go rescue him," Tony says.

"Probably," Natasha says.

She and Clint flit off, Clint distracting the kids by "accidentally" tripping while Natasha swoops in for Vader, spinning off before anyone but Darcy and Jane even notice.

"Jarvis?" Tony says into his watch.

"Yes, sir?"

"Wanna be our tenth? A whole two hands."

"I would be _delighted_," Jarvis says beside him, and Tony looks up to see his C3P-O form.

Tony grins. "Love you, Jay."

Though the face doesn't change, Jarvis's voice is as sarcastic as ever: "I love you too, sir."

"I love him more!" Loki says, kissing Tony on the cheek.

Tony smiles at him. "As much as I love you?"

Loki grins. "Tenfold."

"A million times more."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Tis but petty cash in this household, my love. A _trillion_ times more. An _infinity_ of more!"

Loki grins. "To infinity and _beyond_."

When Steve and Bucky simultaneously burst into the lyrics of "You've Got a Friend in Me", Tony knows right away that his life is perfect.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: Oh gosh. Guys. I'm done. I mean, I'm almost done, 'cause there's still the epilogue and prologue, but I mean I'm almost done… Never mind. Hi. Yes I know that the Hobbit came out on December 14th, but in my world it came out on the 26th. Alternate universes can do what they want! Also wow long chapter. Not as long as Checkmate, which was 21 pages, but this one is 19, so it's a close second! _Also_, because I can I'm going to write out my reasoning for everyone having whatever color of tie/dress for the ball because I had waaay too much fun with that. I just really like colors okay. They'll be in alphabetical order because I'm lazy. If you don't care, feel free to skip it, because they're kinda long haha:

**Benjamin Pepper**: Dark teal: just to match May  
**Bruce**: Green: Because Hulk  
**Charles**: Steel blue: Because I didn't want to make him just boring blue, or like silver for the X thing… So basically because Erik  
**Clint**: Purple: Because signature Marvel outfit color  
**Darcy**: Yellow: No reason I just needed a Belle  
**Erik L**: Steel: Because Marvel metal powers!  
**Erik Stacy**: Black: Because I had nooo idea what color I would have chosen for him in the first place. I probably would have come up with some sort of plaid or whatever  
**Fenrir**: is sort of a rusty brown color, just like… I don't know, all of his pictures indicate that he's brown and I didn't want just a _brown_ tie. So.  
**Frigga**: Bronze: I mean I guess her outfit in the movie is more of a light gold sort of color, but whatever. I needed a Pocahontas  
**George Stacy**: Black: Because he's a "respectable policeman" and I feel that he'd just be too boring to wear the purple or turquoise that Ariel does  
**Gwen**: Baby Yellow w/ blue/red: Because I needed a Snow White and idk I feel like her actress would look really good as her  
**Hela**: Black and White: I know the Hela of Marvel isn't "two-faced", but she is in the Norse myths so I've totally got to play it up. I didn't need a Cruella, she just fit the bill. Lol  
**Helen Stacy**: Purple and turquoise: no reason I just needed an Ariel  
**Henry "Hank Pym" Potts**: Lime green: just to match Janet  
**Howard**: Black: because he's a dick. Sure, some others have black, but Howard just does it because he's not a fan of colors. The others did it because it's the classics.  
**Jane**: Ice green: No reason I just needed a Tiana  
**Janet "van Dyne" Potts**: Lime green: since her Marvel character is actually Wasp, I decided that she had to be Tinkerbelle since she can fly. Haha  
**Jean Loki**: Orange: mostly because of the whole fiery Phoenix thing  
**Jörmungandr**: Jade: Because a sort of green-ish jade color instantly makes me think of snakes  
**Happy**: Ice blue: Because Pepper  
**Katherine "Pryde" Wagner**: Leopard: because of her being called Kitty and Shadowcat. I would have done just a black cat, but the only way it would have been obvious about the cat bit would be if I added ears and a tail, and I made them weird enough as it is.  
**Kurt Wagner**: Blue and Yellow: Blue because of his skin, yellow for his eyes  
**Laura "Kinney" Wagner**: Black and red-violet: I decided Maleficent was the darkest female villain, and since Laura is created as a weapon…idk yeah  
**Logan L**: Silver: because of the metal his bones were encased with  
**Maria**: Red-Violet: No reason I just thought this was a good Mulan color, and I didn't want to use the green she wears as a man  
**May Pepper**: Dark teal: no reason, I just thought she'd make a cute Merida  
**Natasha**: Red: Because of the hourglass of a Black Widow, and Jessica Rabbit because 1) she has the most red in her outfit and 2) because Natasha would totally dress as the "sexiest" Disney character available  
**Odin**: Bronze: I know his eye-patch is gold in the movie, but I just feel like it would be better bronze… Anyway that's why it's been that color the whole fic, the whopping two times its color is mentioned, this time including  
**Ororo L**: Dark navy blue and silver: these are basically just the colors I associate with storms  
**Margaret "Peggy" Carter**: White: I actually chose Steve to have a white tie before I even knew that I was going to make Peggy (who's real name is Margaret, yes) wear, but then Buttercup/the Princess Bride popped into my head and _boom_ perfection. Sure, I could have done Princess Leah, but…nah.  
**Virginia "Pepper" Potts**: Ice blue: This reason was sort of explained in the fic in which Tony wanted to see Happy's face with Pepper as Cinderella, but I sort of ruined it while I was writing it because I made Peggy. Haha.  
**Peter**: Baby Yellow: because Gwen  
**Phil**: Dull pink: Because Sigyn  
**Rebecca Bruce**: Light teal: no reason I just needed a dark haired Jasmine  
**Remy L.**: Black: Because I would have made Remy red for the color his eyes turn or white for when he's known as Death but I didn't want to have more doubles  
**Sarah Stacy**: Pink-ish lavender: no reason I just needed a blonde Repunzel  
**Scott L**: Red: because of the color of his lasers  
**Sigyn**: Dull Pink: No reason I just need an Ariel, and dull pink was the best that I felt like describing her dress when she's first in Eric's castle. Eating and combing her hair with the "dingle hopper" and all that  
**Sleipnir**: Grey: Because the Norse myths actually describe him as grey, and I chose a bowtie because it just feels adorable idk  
**Steve**: White: Because Peggy  
**Thor**: Red: Because of his cape and also because he's gotta be the same as 'Tasha, right? Right.  
**Tony**: Gold: because secondary Iron Man color  
**Loki**: Silver: I would have done green, but I was thinking more to go with Tony's and also because people call him Silvertongue

And this chapter was written while listening to Wonderland by Natalie Kills (which is the song that Natasha was talking about being the "perfect one" to sing). It's about princesses and shit, so you can understand why I played it a lot :P

PS the epilogue is really short whoops.


	26. Epilogue: Thank You

**26: Epilogue: Thank You**

_Eight Months and One Week Later  
September 1  
Sunday…_

Steve parks the Escalade as close to the airport as he can without being a handicap, pick-up, or drop-off only space. Their usual eight are taking up the eight seats, with Maria and Rebecca driving separate in Maria's dark purple Tesla. All of Bruce and Clint's things have already been shipped off to Hawaii but for their carry-ons and the clothes on their backs. Bruce is in a pair of purple jeans that he's got over the last eight months and a green button-up, his backpack a mixture of the two colors, courtesy of Maria as a going-away gift. Clint is in his usual leather getup, plus a black and dark purple backpack, also from Maria for the same reason.

"Everybody ready?" Steve says, looking at Thor in the passenger seat before turning around to everyone else. Bruce is in the middle with Tony and Pepper on his sides, and in the last row Clint is in the middle with Natasha and Loki on _his_ sides. It's not their usual seating arrangement, but under the circumstances they were fine with switching it around.

The other seven in the car answer with a resounding, "_No_."

He gives a sad laugh. "We have to get out eventually. I know we're three hours early so we have time to cry, but we should probably do our crying once we're in the waiting area."

Clint pouts out his bottom lip and wraps his arms around Loki and Natasha. "I don't wanna."

"Here," Loki says, prying himself away from Clint and reaching under the seat. "I got you something."

Everyone looks back as much as they can to see that Loki has pulled out from under his seat a wooden mask, painted green and with eye and mouth holes.

"I made it in the woodshop class Tony and I went to last month," he says, grinning. "It's to protect you from any flying debris and stuff. I already measured your head when you were asleep, so the strap will fit perfectly, but I still haven't attached it yet. You can wear goggles over it, too."

Clint smiles brightly. "Thanks, man!" he says, taking it and looking it over. "This is really great!"

Loki grins. "Thanks." He flips out his phone. "Try it on so I can get a picture."

The very instant that Clint puts it onto his face Loki snaps the picture and bursts into laughter.

Everyone stares confused at him, but after a few seconds they understand:

"What the _fuck_!" Clint yells, pulling the mask from his face. It doesn't come off, though, until he _yanks_ at it, and even then pieces of yellow gunk are stuck to his face. "What the _fuck_!" he says again, holding the mask away from him. "What is this stuff?"

"It's the stuff you put on fly paper!" Loki says around his laughter. "I _told_ you I would get you back for April Fools!"

Tony laughs as well. Back on April first (a day before Phil's birthday, he might add), Clint put a sort of blue ink into all of Loki's body washes, effectively dying parts of his body blue for three days before he finally got all of it off.

"You didn't question yellow slime on the inside of a mask that _Loki_ made for you?!" Natasha asks incredulously.

Clint glares at her, bits of yellow hanging awkwardly off of his face or stuck there firmly. "I thought it was rubber so the wood wouldn't rub unpleasantly against my face, okay?"

"You should have known better," Thor says from the front. "Loki is the God of Tricks, after all. The truly diabolical ones may be few and far in-between, but you never know when it is that he will choose to go through with one of his many plans."

"Good to know _now_," Clint mutters. "I can't even get him back because I'm not even going to be on this continent! I mean, I am, but—argh!"

"You could put Axe bombs in a package for him," Bruce says.

Clint frowns. "You couldn't have suggested that when we _got_ there? Now he'll never open _anything_ I get him."

"Alright, let's go and get that crap off," Steve says, opening his door. "Just put the mask back on."

"What?" Clint growls. "Put it back _on_?"

"It's either getting stared at for a mask or for yellow bits of sticky slime on your face," Pepper says with a shrug.

Clint glares at Loki. "Attach the fucking strap, you bitch."

Loki giggles the entire time he does.

Once they've managed to get all of it off Clint's face, Clint waves the mask angrily in front of Loki's face before grumbling at him and washing it off of the wood so he can still take it with him.

"I'm only keeping it because it will be funny when I miss you," he had muttered as he stuck it into his backpack.

Steve had to chug his entire water bottle at the full-body scanners and Natasha ended up being taken aside to be scanned individually (Tony's just glad that they didn't have Hel and all her piercings with them), but eventually the eight of them, plus Maria and Rebecca, make it to the waiting area with an hour and forty-five minutes to spare.

"Funny that Howard didn't fly you out on his private jet," Maria says to Clint, dabbing lightly at the wetness under her eyes. Rebecca is still crying, hugging Bruce as hard as she can at the same time that Steve is trying to comfort her.

"I thought about that," Clint says, "but it's probably for his own reasons."

"You've got your English-Hawaiian dictionary?" Natasha asks.

"Bruce has it," Clint says.

Loki chuckles. "Well, he is a lot better at it than you are. Seven months of Hawaiian lessons and the only phrase you can say in the right accent and pronunciation is 'Wow, it is almost as hot as me out here.' And half of the sentence is English because they don't have that word in the language!"

Clint blushes. "So? Everybody speaks English anyway."

Natasha pats him on the back. "Come on, let's go rescue your boyfriend."

An hour and forty minutes later, Rebecca is crying again and Maria is really damn close. There are a ton of people getting onto the plane, so Bruce and Clint decided to wait until the very end.

"Hey, Bruce," Tony says, pulling him over to the window. "I want to give you something."

Bruce frowns, and his eyes widen when Tony unclips the charm bracelet he got back at the Christmas party. Vader is all big by now, and though this year's party will be back to how it usually is, Maria is still in touch with most of the adults that were there. Tony wasn't the only one who made lots of new friends this most recent school year. Tony also became better friends with that Rhodey guy who works at the jail, met three triplets named Sven, Eric, and Harlan Kleinstock (really hard ass blokes, to be honest), and a woman named Molly Hayes who actually had a genetic mutation or something in which she's unable to feel pain. Not a ton, but Tony just assume she's simply met everyone worth meeting.

"No, no, no," Bruce says, pushing the bracelet away. "I can't take this. I helped pay for it!"

"Bruce, please."

He stops protesting instantly. "Are you sure?"

Tony nods.

"I mean are you _really_ sure? I haven't seen this off of you since you got it."

Tony rolls his eyes with a smile. "You've gotta have _something_ to remember me by."

Bruce snorts. "Even if I wasn't working for your _dad_, I couldn't forget you if I tried, Tone."

Tony grins. "Good to hear." He takes Bruce's left wrist and clips it on for him.

"Oh Bruuuceeey!" Clint sing-songs, spinning over to him. "We're leaving."

Bruce sighs. "Alright, I'm coming."

They both walk over to where the woman is waiting to take their tickets before turning around.

"We'll miss you," Bruce says sadly.

"That's an understatement," Clint sighs.

Natasha smiles sadly. Out of all eight of them, she and Tony are the ones that have adapted best to the once new friendships between them all. They each have a specific relationship to each of the other seven members. They're both the saddest, because they're losing _two_ of their best friends each.

"Get out of here, you bastards," she says, forcibly holding back tears. Tony's only seen her cry a small handful of times, most of them about her abortion, so he knows that this is really hard for her.

Clint smiles sadly at her before blowing a kiss and turning around to hand his ticket to the lady there, disappearing through the doors.

Bruce sighs, handing his ticket to her as well. "Tony, you deserve it the very least since you never say it to hardly anybody else, but…" He smiles. "Thank you."

Tony can't help it. He runs over and crushes Bruce in a hug, only letting go because Steve and Thor forcibly pry him off.

Bruce is gone in the next second, following after Clint.

"Here come the last ones," the woman says into a com. "Locking up now." She gives a polite nod to the eight standing there before disappearing inside the doors, a loud, deep thud of a click sounding behind her.

"Well," Pepper says quietly. "I guess that's the end of that."

"Nope," Loki says. "Clint still has to get me back."

Steve smiles, elbowing him lightly. "My vote's on you."

Rebecca is still crying as she walks over to the window to watch the plane, Maria going with to comfort her as much as she can. She's crying again, too, but Tony almost didn't notice because it's completely silent and she's not shaking as much as Rebecca.

"I will miss both of them very much," Thor says, pulling Natasha closer to him. "I am very glad my brother stopped me so that I could become friends with you all. Bruce is a good man."

Natasha smiles up at him but says nothing, wrapping her arms around his waist so she can hide her face against his chest.

Thor strokes her hair. "I know our Hawkeye will miss us as much as we miss him, my love. It will be alright."

Tony sighs, taking Pepper's hand a leaning against Steve's side.

"Let's go home," Steve says quietly.

"Wait!" Tony says. They all look at him.

"I want to say something that I'm pretty sure every last one of you is going to remember forever."

Loki cocks an eyebrow. "Go on…"

Tony smiles and faces it at each of his five friend's individually before it turns into a full blown grin. "Thank you."

* * *

End chapter authors notes: Okay wow _now_ I'm done. Because the prologue technically takes place at the beginning so ha XD Anyway. You know that feeling when you finish an individual book or a whole series? I'm sure some of you readers are writers as well, so I'm just gonna assume you know what I mean when I say that finishing a story brings out the exact same feeling. I've also got a Harry Potter Drarry story that's basically 100 more pages than this one, and _that_ was an intense feeling. This is my longest Avengers one too though so still some pretty passionate feels goin' around :P

Aaanyway. Yeah. As soon as y'all read the prologue you'll be totally done! I know this here epilogue was damn short, but whatever it's not a "real" chapter. Prologue's and epilogue's are usually shorter in the books I read, if they've got 'em. So. I guess… Oh yeah I almost forgot! I was thinking about writing a sequel to this, most likely named after another board game of sorts (right now I'm thinking of Candy Land :P) that will focus on Clint and Bruce's new life in Hawaii. I've been there enough times that I wouldn't even have to do much research for it, haha (I would have chosen like Calcutta or Afghanistan but yeah I know nothing about those places, so). I know the story is probably good enough where it's been left off, but so was Words and I wrote a sequel for it anyway. So! Yeah, tell me what you think about that idea :) It'll probably be in Clint's perspective, but who knows what I'll end up throwing in there. Except if you want one it's definitely not going to be finished anytime soon because damn I've got lots of stories… The one I'm working on right now is a Thorki one (before they end up on earth or whatever) called Magic and Stars :)

Alright alright I'm done now. Thank you all so much for reading! Feel free to leave reviews or, hey, don't :P I love you all!

NO I LIED I'M NOT DONE. The green mask that Loki gives Clint is totally the one from The Mask, with Jim Carrey XD I had to okay? Okay done now except prologue bye.


	27. Prologue: That Which Came Before

**27: Prologue: That Which Came Before**

Beginning chapter author's notes: like I said waaay at the beginning, the reason that the prologue is at the _end_ is because I decided it would just be too confusing to read before everything. I would have called it the epilogue but…it's about what happens before…so just bare with me here. Either way I didn't actually write this until I was already 16 chapters into the actual story, so really it was just for the benefit of explaining passing stories that were mentioned but not explained in the fic. Also the whole prologue is in multiple points of view, unlike how the rest of the actually chapters are told from Tony's perspective. It'll be obvious who's PoV, too. Enjoy!

* * *

_Thor Asgard, Age 8  
The orphanage…_

"Are you ready, son?"

Thor, holding tightly to his mother's hand, looks up at his father as they stand in front of the double doors to the orphanage. They are going to adopt, and Thor gets to choose all on his own! "Yes, sir," he says.

"Remember to take your time," his mother says gently. "Pick someone that you're going to get along with for the rest of your life, and somebody that Baldur will like as well."

"Yes, mother." Thor does not care if Baldur likes who he chooses or not. If his big brother Baldur cared he would be here to _help_ him choose, but he is not.

Mother and father walk up to the front desk, say a few words, and then Thor is following another lady to a different room, this one filled with children. The front one only had two or three, but Thor did not want any of them. In the room with many children Thor does take his time, looking at everyone. He wants a boy his age who nobody will ever mistake them for real brother. Thor likes being an only child (most of the time, since Baldur usually lives with his own mother), but father wants another one. Thor is not really sure _why_ he wants another, but he does not know how he is supposed to ask.

"Hello," Thor says to a tall, skinny boy with long black hair, pale skin, and green eyes. He looks nothing like Thor's long blonde hair, suntanned skin, and blue eyes. "I'm Thor. What is your name?"

The boy is sitting with four small children and a girl their age that looks a lot like him. He looks up at him with a shy look before smiling. "I'm Loki. This is Leah"—he points to the girl who looks like him—"and these are Hela, Jörmungandr, Fenrir, and Sleipnir."

Thor smiles at them, but he does not really care. He wants Loki, not a girl or tiny children. "What is your favorite color?"

"Green!" he exclaims.

"Mine is red! How old are you?"

"Seven!"

"I'm eight! Want to be my new brother?"

The smile on Loki's face is so bright that Thor instantly thinks of Baldur. "Would I ever!" he says.

Thor smiles brightly. "Great! Come on, you can meet your new mother and father!" He takes Loki's hand.

"But I have to say goodbye first!" Loki says, pulling away.

"You can later!" Thor says. "You gotta get your things, too, right? You can when you get your stuff!" He takes Loki's hand again and forces him along, and after Loki waves to his five friends he stops protesting and runs with Thor.

"Mother, father!" Thor says brightly, pulling on his father's pants. "I found one, I found one!"

Odin and Frigga look down with warm smiles, but the wince that the lady behind the desk gives is not a pleasant one.

"Are you sure?" she asks Thor, giving him a desperate sort of look.

Thor frowns. "Of course I am sure."

Frigga gives the woman a frown as well. "Why would you need to make sure of that?" she asks in a hushed tone. "Is there something wrong with him?"

"It's not him," the woman whispers just to Odin and Frigga, but Thor can still hear her, and Loki probably can as well. "It's where he came from."

"Which was where?" Odin asks.

"His father was the…" She looks around with shifty eyes. "The murderer. You know, the Laufeyson Lunatic."

Frigga's jaw tightens, but Odin smiles. "Good!" he says brightly. "We'd love him."

Frigga gives him a dark look. "He's going to need more love than you will give him," she says softly, yet sternly enough that the lady behind the desk cowers a little bit. "We should let him go into a better home than with us."

"Nonsense!" Odin booms. "He will be loved greatly, and with a proper family to do so." He smiles down at Thor. "You've chosen well, son."

Thor smiles, but it fades away when he feels Loki pull his hand out from his own. He turns around, frowning after Loki as he runs away. "Loki!" Thor yells, running after him. "Loki, come back!"

Loki runs up a pair of stairs and Thor follows, ignoring the calls of his parents and a worker who tells him he is not allowed up there. Loki runs into a room with many beds before running over to one of them and crawling under it, lying flat on his stomach. Thor goes to the side that his head is facing, pushing himself under just as much as he can. Loki is very skinny for his age, and Thor is…well, Thor is big for his age.

"What is wrong?" Thor asks, reaching out and taking one of Loki's hands as he gives little shudders of tears.

"She doesn't like me," he sniffles.

"The ugly lady behind the desk? Why not?"

"Because my daddy killed lots of people. He killed my mommy, too, and wanted to kill me, but he couldn't so killed himself instead."

Since Thor cannot get under the bed to hug Loki, he simply pulls him out from under it. "That is okay with me!" he says brightly, holding him tight. "Now you can start over! You will have a new mother, father, and…and me!" He sits up and pulls Loki out from under the bed with him, hugging him again. "I can make everything better! And I have a…a step-brother named Baldur, and he can make everything better too!"

Loki sniffs in deeply before leaning back and smiling at him. "Really? You still want me? The only two families that have ever wanted me didn't want me after she told them…"

"Well she is a big meenie." He stands, pulling Loki up with him. "Come on, I want to take you home!"

"And we'll be brothers forever?"

"That's right! Forever and _ever_!"

**XxX**

_3 Years Later  
The neighborhood playground…_

"You there, lowly servant!" Loki yells at a small boy with red sunglasses. Loki is on the highest point of the playground, another boy beside him with messy blonde hair, black eyes, and big teeth, and a little girl on his other side with blonde hair and wearing a costume half snake and half dragon. "Give me your glasses or I'll have you thrown in the dungeon!"

"No!" the boy yells. "I can't take them off or my laser eyes will blow everything up!"

"That's no excuse!" He looks at the boy beside him. "Get him, Sabretooth."

This "Sabretooth" lets out a feral growl and leaps off of the play set, running over to the boy with the glasses. He runs, conveniently towards Thor, and Thor simply pushes Sabretooth backwards so that he falls onto the ground and the other boy can get away.

"Thoooor!" Loki whines loudly, glaring down at him. "Go away, you're not allowed here! I'm the king! I even have minions!" He glances over at the girl and gives a passive, "And a queen, too."

The girl grins.

"Loki!" Thor says sternly, scaling the structure until they are standing in front of each other. "Come home right now! Mother is worried sick about you!"

"I do what I want, Thor!" Loki yells, pushing him.

Thor falls backwards, but he is holding onto Loki too, so they tumble down the stairs together, landing in a pile of soon-to-be bruises and a little whimper from Loki.

"You give up this poisonous dream, brother!" Thor says, holding onto the sides of Loki's face. "You come home!"

Loki sniffs in deeply before pushing Thor's hands off of him and wiping his eyes. "I don't like it there, and nobody else likes me either."

"I like you, brother."

"Stop calling me that!" Loki yells, leaping up. "I'm not your brother! I never was!"

Thor grabs his hand before he can run, standing up as well and pulling him in for a hug. "Please, Loki?"

Loki only cries a little bit before pushing Thor away again. "I don't want to."

"Do not make me go back and get father."

Loki gives a very defeated sigh. "Okay," he whispers.

Thor takes his hand and pulls him along, keeping him close. He smiles back at the smiles of the adults around him, relief on their faces because they had no idea what to do about the little boy with black hair and emerald eyes that was "taking over" the playground. His crown of leaves was ugly anyway. It made him look like a cow.

"How did you find me?" Loki asks when they are about halfway home. They have never walked to the park by themselves before, but Thor knew where Loki had gone. It is the farthest he has ever been away from home by himself. Sometimes father drops them off to play and then mother comes by later, mad at father for letting them be alone for so long.

"It is the farthest you have ever been away from home by yourself," Thor says. "It was the first place I thought of."

"Why didn't mother or father come with you?"

"I did not tell them where I was going. Just that I knew where you were."

"I'm just going to run away again tomorrow."

"I will chain and gag you if you do."

Loki sighs again. "I won't do it again if you promise to give me your pretty blue stuffed cube…"

Thor frowns. "But…but I made Tesseract all by myself!"

"Then I'm going to run away again!"

"I will share him with you."

Loki purses his lips in thought. "Deal."

Upon returning home, nobody is home but for their guard dog, Heimdall.

"Hello, gatekeeper!" Thor says brightly, patting him happily.

Heimdall barks joyfully at them, but they do not get to play at all because the front door opens.

"Oh _Loki_!" Frigga exclaims, running down the steps and over to them, dropping to her knees and throwing her arms around her son. "I was so worried! If you ever write on the wall in crayon again saying that you've run away you are going to be in so much trouble!" She leans back, stoking a hand down a dirty, tear-stained cheek. "But I am so glad you're back," she says warmly. "Why did you run away?"

Loki pouts out his bottom lip. "Nobody wants me here," he says, looking down.

"Oh darling, don't say such things. _All_ of us want you here. Even Odin, you know. We are your family, Loki. You are our _son_. You must never forget that."

Thor wishes that he understood the look that flickers through Loki's eyes, but he probably never will.

**OoOoOoO**

_Tony Stark, Age 16  
September 5  
First day of junior year…_

Freshman year wasn't much. Sophomore was probably a little more. But junior year? Yeah, junior year… That's when it really started. Tony had always hated Thor and his two friends, Natasha and Clint, so when all the fights started happening even a few years back it wasn't much of a surprise. Junior year, though—the first day of that year—he laid eyes on the sixteen year old beauty that was Natasha Romanov.

Nothing new had happened to her over the summer, Tony just really realized that she was drop-dead gorgeous with a personality that could split rocks with a heated look and the sort of skill that could part the ocean with a single well-placed kick. He liked that in a girl. Which is of course why he went for all the other girls instead—partly to cover up his crush on Natasha, partly to get over his sophomore relationships with Pepper Potts, and partly because he was one hell of a horny teenager. The first day of junior year was also when he met his favorite teacher, Phillip Coulson. Phil likes movies, coolers beers, and rock 'n roll.

But Natasha. Tony managed to keep that secret from his three best friends for all of a minute. It wasn't even _at_ school of the first day of school that Tony realized. It was afterwards, when he and his three friends were bored enough to go down to the park since they had no real classwork to get done (not that Tony would do it. He's not really into homework). Low and behold, there was Natasha, her boyfriend (Thor Asgard), and her flamingly gay best friend (Clint Barton), all doing some sort of wrestling thing on the grass.

"Don't stare at them, Tony, or they'll come over here!" Bruce whispers frantically.

"Maybe we should just leave," Steve says darkly.

Tony just smiles and looks over at Pepper. "I want one."

Understanding what he means instantly, she replies without missing a beat: "No."

And that's about when they're seen, so it's a good thing they're fast at running or Tony and Steve would have gotten beat up at the park again while Bruce and Pepper looked on in horror. For some reason they never beat up Bruce, and Pepper being a girl is not near as fun to hit.

And Tony's been fallen for the girl that beats up him and his best friend up ever since.

**OoOoOoO**

_Phillip Coulson  
September 5  
The first day of the new school year…  
[For the benefit of you readers, this is the junior year for Tony and his friends.]_

"Right, class!" Phil says brightly to his last class of the day, clasping his hands together. "Welcome to junior physics!"

He pauses, waiting for the every year question about—

"Do we get to blow anything up?"

Ah yes, there it is.

Phil turns and smiles sickly sweet at the student, ready to answer with his usual condescending reply about how you do not, in fact, blow _anything_ up in physics. It is simply the class of how things interact with each other. No explosions. But, before he can, there's another:

"You don't blow stuff up _physics_, asshole," a boy in the back corner says. "That's _chemistry_, and still not very often. Do your research."

The student with glasses that's sitting beside him drops his head to the desk in such a fashion that it looks like this sort of thing happens often.

Phil glances down at his seating chart. The student who asked the question is a Jonathan Storm, and the one who answered him is an Anthony Stark. Stark… The company Stark? Howard Stark? Stark Industries?

"Mr. Stark," Phil says, walking to stand in front of his row. "Since you seem to know what you're talking about, would you be so kind as to explain to us what physics _really_ is in the…simplest fashion that you can?"

The kid gives an award winning grin, patting the student beside him on the back. "It's okay, Brucey-kins. I got this." He stands. "Physics is the study of energy and matter in space and time and how they are related to each other. It assumes the existence of mass, length, time, and electric current and then defines it. It is the science that deals with motion and force, as well." He sits back down.

The class blinks.

"Tony," Brucey-kins (also known as Robert Banner, according to the sheet) says quietly. "That wasn't _that_ simple…"

Tony frowns down at him. "It was simple enough for us."

"Not for the _rest_ of us," Jonathan snaps. "Some of us didn't grow up with a genius for dad."

"Yeah, check your privilege, dickwad," a student by the name of (according to the sheet) Benjamin Grimm says.

He and Jonathan high five with a very childish "woo!"

"Alright, alright, enough of that," Phil says, rolling his eyes. "Thank you, Anthony, for that brilliant display of unashamed assholerey."

Stark gives another grin. "Anytime, Mr. Coulson."

How the kid already knows his name on the first day of school without it written up on the board is behind him, but he really doesn't care. All he knows is that this is going to be one _hell_ of a year….

**XxX**

_Three Months Later  
November 8  
Thursday…_

Everybody shuffles out as the bell rings, eager to get out of Phil's classroom (or out of the school in general; one or the other, Phil can never tell) and to whatever it is that kids do on Thursday nights. Homework, procrastinate, drink? He'll never know. He doesn't even remember most of his own high school nights, and especially not the Thursday's.

When the room is empty, Phil sticks his iPod into his iHome and turns it up on shuffle, stingingly unabashedly to Black Sabbath.

He goes around the room to pick up trash and writing utensils from throughout the day, even finding a phone stuck into the little shelf underneath one of the desks.

He almost yelps when the music turns down, spinning around to see… Lovely.

"Hello, Stark," he says, pocketing the phone. He'll turn it in later. "What brings you here?"

"I was walking past the room and I heard one of my favorite songs," he says, giving that stupid award winning grin. Then he grabs onto the hem of his shirt and holds it out.

Phil's eyes widen a bit because, low and behold, he's wearing nothing other than a Black Sabbath shirt. "It's…nice to meet a fellow fan," he says lamely. What the hell else is he supposed to say? _"WOW THAT'S SO COOL DID YOU GET THAT AT THE CONCERT I WISH I COULD HAVE GONE CAN I BORROW IT WE SHOULD TOTALLY GO GET COFFEE SOMETIME."_ No.

He smirks. "Yeah, I got it at their concert." Called it. "We should totally get coffee." Ooh, totally not what he really expected…

"Uh…" He snaps his mouth shut. "I'm sure that sounds like a lot of fun, but I have…papers to grade."

Tony chuckles. "Whatever, we've had like, one assignment all week. Come on, you know you want to. Black, two sugars, and a dollop of honey? Who doesn't want that?"

Phil blinks at him. "I should not have to wonder how you know my coffee order."

"I stood behind you in line at Starbucks once," he says with a shrug. "Committed it to memory so I could freak you out. I know your address and cell phone number, too. Wanna go or not? My Brucey-kins would be there, and Steve-o and Pep."

He shakes his head. "I don't even know who those second people are, but the one I do know I honestly cannot comprehend how he is okay with you calling him that."

"He wasn't at first, but he got over that pretty quick."

"Yes, well, I will have to decline your invitation for coffee, much as I approve of your music taste."

"Aww, what for?"

"It wouldn't be professional. It is usually frowned upon the outside-of-school friendship of a student and teacher in which they are close enough to 'get coffee'."

"Whatever, it'll be like a study hall or something."

He gives a tight smile. "I'm sorry, Stark."

He shrugs. "Whatever, you're the one that's missin' out. Have fun with your Black Sabbath." He turns it back up as he walks past, singing along as he goes.

**XxX**

_November 9  
Friday…_

"I SAID _BREAK IT UP_!" Phil yells through the cafeteria, literally having to use all his strength to tear Asgard off of Stark. Romanov and Barton back slowly off of Rogers. Poor kids, don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Okay, so they both do, but Stark is an asshole and therefore doesn't care. Rogers doesn't even usually say anything, he just tries to help Stark and ends up on his back. He's tiny. Really damn tiny, especially for a junior. Poor guy's gonna get beat up for the rest of his life if he doesn't do something about that.

"The three _you_ to the principle's office _stat_," Phil snaps at Asgard, Romanov, and Barton. "And if you're not there when I'm there then _Fury_ will deal with you when he gets _back_."

They shuffle off, giving dark looks to all three Phil, Stark, and Rogers.

"You have really got to learn to hold your tongue," Phil says, taking Tony's hand and helping him up. "As for you, Rogers…" He helps him up too. "Stop helping your friend. He may be your friend, but is it really worth it if he's bringing these fights on himself?"

"I don't like bullies, sir," he says, dusting himself off.

"'Course yuh don't. Good quality to have. Both of you need to come to the principles office with me, though. That's the third time this week. It's time to call home."

They sigh, and Stark goes over to sling Rogers' arm over his shoulder as they follow after them.

Of _course_ both Principle Fury and Vice Principle Hill are out on who knows what sort of meetings, meaning that Phil is in charge. That's what he gets for being the best and most reliable teacher in the school. It's only his first year, even.

After Phil gives the five students the sternest talking to he can manage about "you are junior's would you grow up already" and "at least pick on people your own size" and the like, he calls their homes. He hates calling homes. Kids who get into fights probably already have enough going on in their home life as it is. It's not his fault, though. They were all specifically told that they would get a call home if they fought one more time—and now what? They're probably going to be back in here next Tuesday. Next Thursday, at the very least. They never heed any warnings. They even had a cop come in one time to talk to them, but that didn't work either. It's been going on for years, anyway. It's not going to stop anytime soon.

Calling home about being beaten up is the easy part. Sure, it sucks to say "your kid got a black eye because no authorities were around to stop it in time", but it's easier than saying "your kid's a dick and gave somebody a black eye you need to tell them to stop". The great Howard Stark actually just laughs and says something about it being good that his son is being beat up because it's shaping him for the future. No wonder he's an asshole…he learned it all from his dad. Nobody answers at Rogers' house, so he just leaves a standard message.

Phil hates telling people that their kids are dicks. Asgard's mother answers sweetly and promises that he'll be punished, Romanov's father yells a lot and Phil finally just hangs up in mid-word, and Barton's uncle just goes off on how that's normal because he's such a "dipshit" and something about him being a fairy too which Phil tries not to mutter at because homophobic people really bother him (he's straight as a board himself, but that doesn't mean he has to be a prejudiced bastard).

"Alright, go back to your lives," Phil says, flitting his wrist at the five students. "Just _quite_ fighting, honestly. It's stupid and childish. Get out."

Asgard, Romanov, and Barton are out in a flash, but Stark pats Rogers on the back as he shuffles out slower, shutting the door behind him.

"Anything else you'd like to add, Stark?" Phil asks, crossing his arms. "If this is about coffee, then my previous answer still stands."

Stark chuckles. Not his usual chuckle, either. A sad "I just got beat up by a guy who wears his hair in a ponytail and my best friend can't even stand up to a girl and her gay best friend that wears too much leather" sort of chuckle. "No, I, uh…do you like movies?"

"Everybody likes movies. Or they should, anyway."

"I agree. Do you know the movie Dead Poets Society?"

Phil almost falls over. "You've seen it?"

"Yeah, it's one of my favorites."

"It _is_ my favorite."

He grins. "Wow, I am brilliant. Wanna come over and watch it with me? My place is like, really big since my dad's rich and stuff. We've got a big home theater."

Phil wants to say yes. He wants to so badly. Partly because Stark is actually hilarious and partly because _Dead Poets Society_. But he shouldn't and he shan't. He honestly can't tell if he's being hit on or not and it's somewhat creeping him out. Not that it would bother him if it was anyone _his age_ and a member of the _opposite_ sex, but Stark isn't even eighteen yet, nor is he a woman. Besides, he happens to be straight.

"Are you…" he begins before trailing off and staring about four other different ways and finally just coming out with it on the fifth: "Are you hitting on me?"

Tony blinks for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. "Shit, I am so sorry I did not make that specification. No, lord, I'm not hitting on you. I mostly just like Na—" He bites his tongue.

"Natasha Romanov," Phil says without pause.

He groans. "_Wow_ I am bad at keeping that a secret…"

"She hates you."

"Yes, great, I really needed to hear that again. Do you want to come over and watch the fucking movie or not? You're cool, okay, and sometimes a guy just needs a new person around so he doesn't have to think about the shitty life that he's got."

Phil gives a sad smile. "I really don't think I should, Anthony. If anybody found out I could get fired."

"Well you don't have to drive _with_ me. Just show up at my house. Nobody cares about guests. You could live there and nobody would even notice. Pleeease? I get really bored on Friday's. Unless you have a girl to go home to…" He grins. "If that's the case then please _don't_ come."

Phil snorts. "Unlikely. I've been single since my sophomore year of college."

"Ooh, harsh. Sophomore year of anywhere is the pits. So…I'll see you at my place after school?"

"Stark, you're not serious."

"When am I _ever_ serious?"

Phil has a stare down with him for approximately thirty seconds before dropping his crossed arms. "You win."

Stark whoops. "I'll get pizza and pop and…what's your poison of choice?"

He frowns. "You drink?"

He shrugs. "You'll have to come and find out, won't you?"

"Cooler beers are fine. Hard liquor's not really my thing."

Tony giggles. "Sure thing, Coulson." And he's gone before another word can be spoken.

"I am insane," Phil mutters, dragging his hands down his face. "Utterly and completely insane."

**OoOoOoO**

_Clint Barton, Age 17  
September 3  
The first day of senior year…_

Clint likes guys. Simple as that. He also likes bows, arrows, explosions, and boys who like explosions. So who is it that he falls for the moment he walks through the doors to school that year? Why, it's none other than Bruce Banner, of course. Clint beats up two of his friends about once a week, sometimes more. Tony Stark usually goes to Thor, so Clint and Natasha get Steve Rogers. Tiny little bloke, really. If Clint didn't hate him so much he'd buy him a package to his favorite place to work out.

Last year he had Victor von Doom, but after their break-up he sort of just jumped around to whoever would take him. Nothing with labels, just clubs he was too young to get into but got into them anyway thanks to charm and hilariously sarcastic remarks. But then…then he walked into school on the first day of his senior year and nearly tripped over his own two feet for the first time in his entire life.

Nothing new seemed to happen to him over the summer, it was just…well, just the fact that he was in the middle of the cafeteria conducting random experiments underneath the table, probably. Stark, Rogers, and Pepper Potts were all sitting on top with her legs down on the bench part to block anyone of authority from seeing him underneath it, and Clint simply watched them. About a minute and a half before the bell rang he crawled out from under the table, carried a tray over and dumped it into the trash can, and walked calmly out with Potts while Stark and Rogers all but sprinted.

Clint was confused, but he definitely didn't get any closer to the trashcan either. Literally right on cue for as the bell is ringing, there was a giant _boom_, and everything inside of the can spewed out of the open top and landed everywhere. Clint covered his mouth to hide his laughter and keep from snorting as everyone else just screamed, running out of the cafeteria as well and hoping he didn't get pinned for it.

And now he's sitting in his first period classing with Natasha, telling her about it and that he's probably falling for the geek of a kid.

Natasha snorts at him quietly, not wanting either of them to be caught by their teacher. "You're falling for _him_? Clint, he's a pussy. While Stark is being beat up Rogers at least _tries_ to help, and Pepper doesn't because she's a girl that dresses in dress-suits and ugly heels, but _Banner_? He just stands there without moving, eyes wide like he's going to piss himself. You want _that_? He's not even very attractive."

Clint purses his lips. "Maybe you're right…"

"I probably am."

He sighs. "Yeah, you are. He's one of Stark's friends, anyway. It doesn't matter if he likes explosions and pranks. I should probably just forget about it."

Natasha nods and gives him a good natured shoulder punch. "That's my boy. Now shut up before we get in trouble."

Clint nods, going back to doodling in his notebook. He tries to forget about it, of course. About the way the guy crawled gracefully out from under the table, slunk over to the garbage can with the substance hidden between things on a tray of food, dumped it in, and walked calmly out. No problem with his plan, no flaw in his secrecy. So he tries to forget about it, sure…

But he doesn't.

* * *

End chapter authors notes: the part in which Tony explains physics? Basically copied that straight from "Simple English Wikipedia", woo.

Also, yup, you're done with the prologue. That means no more! Unless any of you actually want a sequel. Haha. Be sure to tell me what you think :) Bye I love you!


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